bullied as a child

Listen.

It’s not okay to have your child be scared of you. That isn’t respect. That’s control. 

It’s not okay to have your child obey you at all times in order for you to love them. That isn’t high standards. That’s manipulation.

It’s not okay to force your child become what you wanted to become. That isn’t wanting the best for them. That’s living vicariously through them.

It’s not okay to take away your child’s basic needs as a punishment. That isn’t teaching them. That’s hindering them. 

It’s not okay to dictate your child’s sexuality or gender. That isn’t normalizing them. That’s repressing them.

It’s not okay to berate your child’s appearance or intelligence for being what you think is sub-par. That isn’t toughening them. That’s bullying them.

It’s not okay to take out your stress on your child. That isn’t parenting. That is abusing.

It’s completely okay to distance yourself from your parents. That’s not unloving. That, sometimes, is self care.

Child-on-child abuse is a thing that happens.

Sexual abuse between children happens.
Physical abuse between children happens.
Emotional abuse between children happens.

Just because your abuser was another child doesn’t mean that what you went through is somehow less serious or less traumatic than if an adult did it. Even if you know the child was reenacting their own abuse with you, that doesn’t mean you should feel guilty about being traumatized by it.

When people undermine the impact of bullying and cocsa (child-on-child sexual abuse), don’t listen to them. They clearly have no clue what they’re talking about. The research on the effects of emotional and/or physical bullying and cocsa is on your side. You’re not exaggerating or being overly sensitive. Abuse is abuse.

where’s all the support for abuse victims that were abused by friends, or even just acquaintances, but still couldn’t get away?

where’s the support for abuse victims that heard “they’re hitting you because they have a crush you!”, or “it’s just a scratch/a bruise, it’s not like they’re killing you!” even if they were crying, and begging adults to do something about it?

for victims that heard “they’re just joking, they don’t really mean that!”, and “insults can’t hurt you, ignore them and you’ll be fine!” over and over again, feeling more and more worthless every single time?

I’m here for you. Your abuse is valid, even if no one talks about it, and you have every reason to suffer from it. You’re not “exaggerating it”. You are a victim too.

One thing that really gets me about today’s society is how emotional/psychological child abuse is normalized and even celebrated.

I’ve noticed a phenomenon of parents getting together and talking about how they’re such a Mean Mom or Mean Dad and how they’re raising their children to be respectful. They talk about destroying their children’s possessions, isolating them, humiliating them, and/or publicly shaming them.

And when these people hear about, say, a parent smashing a kid’s phone for not cleaning their room or burning their possessions or filming a punishment or embarrassing moment and putting it up on social media, they commend the parents for “teaching the kids a lesson”.

Why the fuck do we, as a society, think this is okay?

It doesn’t teach kids valuable life lessons, it teaches them to be scared of repercussions. It’s bullying and child abuse and for some reason, people think that’s commendable.

Whenever I hear people saying “haha I bet that 14 year old learned a lesson”, it instantly makes me suspicious of them. I will instantly think of you as either a potential child abuser or a child abuse enabler.

As a survivor of psychological abuse, people dismissing this behavior as “harmless life lessons” makes me wonder if it really was abuse. If I deserved it. If I really deserved to have my pet’s life threatened because I was a liar.

It’s not cute. It’s not “good parenting”. It’s intimidating, shaming, and traumatizing your child into compliance.

If you have to terrorize your child to get them to respect you you’re not teaching respect, you’re teaching blind obedience to a violent power structure. You’re teaching them to be the bystander who watches a cop beat a person to death, to be the person who keeps walking when they see a man strike his partner, to be the person who watches a peer bullied in school – you’re teaching your child to embody the nothing-done while oppression triumphs.

gavrockandroll  asked:

a Concept- lance got picked on as a kid in that "mocking-compliment-so-if-you-tell-on-us-we'll-just-say-we-were-being-nice" way so even now when people compliment him he tends to read it as an insult so one day he gets annoyed like "how come u guys never tell me i'm doing a good job like u do for everyone else" and they're like "???? we did remember when we said these things???" and he's just like "wait u actually meant that??? wtf i thought u guys were mocking me this whole time"

A concept- Lance was also the kid who was “fat” and “ugly” so when people call him beautiful he thinks that they’re pitying him. And he believes that if he doesn’t watch what he eats, or how he looks, he won’t be liked. 

10

“[…] I hope I can be half the person he is. And if I have to choose between caring for my friend and believing in your God…then I choose…m-my friend!” Kitty Pryde (x)

What the Hell is “Gaslighting”?

In 1938, a stage play called “Gas Light” debuted for the first time. The play is about a husband who gradually convinces his wife she’s insane by acting strangely and secretly manipulating objects in the house - like dimming the gas lights in the attic - and refusing to acknowledge that they’ve changed. Today, the term “gaslighting” is used to describe any behaviour designed to make another person question their sanity. 

Gaslighting is abusive behaviour. Any person who tries to make you doubt your own sanity does not have your best interests at heart. Gaslighting is a tool to keep you in an abusive relationship, and prevent you from reaching out for help. 

In its weakest form, gaslighting means convincing you that you are misremembering or exaggerating something that happened. “I never said it like that, you’re exaggerating!” or “You’re making it sound worse than it was!” are common examples of gaslighting. At the end of the conversation, you might even find yourself apologizing to the other person, even though you were pretty sure that they were in the wrong. This sort of thing can happen in a normal relationship, especially if one or both parties aren’t very self-aware, but it’s a concern if it happens all the time… especially if only one person seems to have a faulty memory.

Gaslighting can also mean convincing you that events didn’t happen at all. Your abuser can absolve themselves of responsibility, and keep you in check, by convincing you that abuse never took place. “We never had a fight at my brother’s wedding… are you feeling okay?” or “I’ve never thrown anything at you in my life! Do you have a fever or something?” are more serious examples of gaslighting, and they are absolutely not okay. If someone is trying to convince you that a fight or episode of abuse never happened, that’s a huge red flag that cannot be ignored. 

At its very worst, abusers may go out of their way to stage strange events in order to confuse their victims. An abuser trying to keep a victim in check, or socially isolate a victim, may go out of their way to act strangely in order to make their victim doubt their own mind. Abusers may steal things from you, disappear for days on end and claim that they told you where they were going (or deny being gone), or mislabel your reactions as they’re happening (eg. pretending that you are irrationally angry when you are actually calm). These are also huge red flags, and cannot be ignored. 

Gaslighting is not unique to abusive romantic relationships: it is also common in toxic parent/child relationships, sibling relationships, friendships or school bullying. Anyone who mistreats you can gaslight you. 

The best defense against gaslighting is self-confidence, and careful recording. Trust in your own mind. You know when you’ve been abused. You know your own reactions. And write things down - keeping a careful record of abusive incidents and what was said or done gives you a record to consult when someone else gets in your head. 

Gaslighting can make it especially difficult to recognize and leave a bad relationship, and no one deserves to go through it. Know the signs. Protect yourself. You deserve better. 

Hey just a reminder that just because trump is a walking evil pumpkin you have no right to bully a 10 year old kid. Barron Trump is not to blame for being born to that evil empty ball sack of a man. If you see anyone coming for his kid online call them out. There’s enough to criticize about the orange baboon let’s not degrade ourselves to child bullying.

  • nazi using literal nazi propaganda and hate speech: lol u mad
  • shia labeouf (a jewish person directly harmed by nazism): HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US
  • white supremacist news (also known as just the the regular news): shia labeouf BULLIES an innocent childlike white boy child kid youngling of the age of 20-something because hes a trump supporter!! the inhumanity of it all.

anonymous asked:

Complete this conservation: "Mr. Winchester and Mr. Novak, your son has gotten into a fight for the second time this week. We're going to have to suspend him till Tuesday"

“Mr. Winchester and Mr. Novak…” Mr Gault stares down over the top of his glasses at the two men. “Your son has gotten into a fight for the second time this week.” Dean notices a barely noticeable curve to the man’s lip; a smirk if he ever saw one.

“We’re going to have to suspend him till Tuesday,” Mr. Gault continues, “At the very least.” The pleased expression across his face grows bigger. This man actually seems to be taking a weird sort of pleasure in kicking Matthew out of school.

The kid is six. How bad could the fight have been?

Dean’s nostrils flare and he opens his mouth, ready to read the guy the riot act, but he feels Cas’ hand on his arm.

“Mr. Gault, this seems a little extreme.” Castiel appears the picture of composure, but Dean can spot the barely concealed anger in that steely, unblinking stare. “Isn’t detention the normal protocol for something like this?” Mr. Gault’s mouth becomes a thin line.

“Normally, yes, but in situations where a student is injured-“

“Matthew hurt a kid?!” Dean blurts out incredulously. “Why the-“

“Um, actually, your son was the one… injured.” Gault admits. Castiel and Dean blink in unison.

“Another child hurt Matthew and he’s the one getting a suspension?” Castiel’s tone seems to drop the temperature in the room five degrees.

“He instigated the fight,” Gault counters. “And this hasn’t been the first time-“

“So why is this the first time we’re hearing about this?” Castiel crosses his arms over his chest defiantly, and now Dean feels like he’s the one who needs to hold his husband at bay.

“You seem to be dancing around the situation and placing the blame on our kid.” Dean narrows his eyes. “How about we ask Matthew what happened?” Gault’s shoulders straighten, and it appears like he’s calling Dean’s bluff.

“Alright.” He picks up the phone on his desk and hits two buttons, talking to someone on the other line and asking them to send Matthew in. The office door opens a second later and Matthew walks in sullenly, remnants of dried blood under his nose and a rather nice bruise on his forehead. Castiel and Dean both rush to him, talking over each other to ask if he’s alright.

“Matthew,” Castiel says, lightly placing a hand on Dean’s shoulder and quieting Dean. “Can you tell us about the fight?” Matthew gives a sullen nod.

“Eric Roth invited all the kids in class to his birthday,” Matthew sniffs, “But he said I couldn’t come.”

Castiel frowns. “Well, Matthew, that’s no reason to start a fight-“

“He said I’m gross because I have two dads.” A whimper escapes Matthew’s throat and he wipes as his face with his sleeve. The room goes quiet enough to hear a pin drop and both Cas and Dean twist around to look at a very bewildered Mr. Gault.

“Has this happened before, Matthew?” Castiel asks, his voice barely constrained and his eyes not leaving Gault. Matthew nods.

“He told the other kids not to talk to me because my dads are dirty-“

“Our son is getting bullied and you’re punishing him?!” Dean blurts out as he jumps to his feet, towering over the vice principle.

“Uh, well… I was told he started the-“

“I don’t care who the hell started the fight,” Dean snaps. “You’re ignoring abuse of your students and then blaming the victim when they fight back?”

“They shouldn’t be fighting at all-“

“And this has happened repeatedly.” Castiel finally lets the calm facade drop. “Have Eric Roth’s parents been made aware of their child’s behavior?”

“Well, he’s not the instigator-“

“We’re done here,” Dean announces firmly, scooping up a still sniffing Matthew into his arms. “I expect to hear that you’ve addressed the issues of bullying in your school and you won’t be suspending our child when he’s the victim.” Castiel and Dean walk out Mr. Gault’s office, leaving the man still gaping like a floundering fish.

As soon as they are out in the parking lot, Dean pulls back to take a look at Matthew. “You doing ok, buddy?” Matthew gives a small nod.

“Yeah,” he mumbles.

“Don’t worry about that Eric boy,” Castiel says, patting Matthew’s back comfortingly. “Dad and I will make sure to talk to his mom.”

“Did he hit you in the nose, Matt?” Dean asks. Matthew nods. “Your forehead too?”

“No, I head-butted him,” Matthew says. Dean can’t help but laugh.

“That’s my boy,” he says.

“Don’t encourage him,” Castiel says with a playful slap across his chest.

*** how to help do5 kids***

UPDATE: all of do5′s videos have been taken down.

i’m making this post because i understand that watching the videos themselves is triggering, so i will do it for you.

  1. click on the link
  2. click the three dots under the video
  3. click the flag icon that says “report”
  4. select “child abuse”
  5. for timestamp, input the time i place after the link.
  6. for the description, you can input your own message or include mine in the parenthesis.
  7. have adblocker up.

if we can get youtube to take down ONE MORE VIDEO, he will lose the channel. ok? please report. here we go

Dad goes on a RAMPAGE @ 5:21 (father egging children to tackle younger child; they pick him up and slam him on the floor as dad films.)

Kids get the BELT!  @ 19:36 (brothers beating up emma, trying to choke her out, then hits her with a belt)

KID GOES DOWN THE STEPS HEAD FIRST  @ 31:11 (father threatening to kick child in the face)

Cody gets BULLIED @ 3:06 (exactly as the title says, the two older brothers just torment and bully cody and occasionally hit him)

DAD AND CODY MAKE A VOLCANO!!   @ 15:43 (father hits cody’s arm for no apparent reason; arm has visible bruises)

please please please report these videos and DON’T just reblog some fucking ms paint star and pray, jfc

if you have the “spoons” or fortitude or whatever, please also report mommyofive’s channel which is the stepmother. i will make another post for mommyofive’s channel if anyone requests.