building terms

Infusion: A common way to channel and easily control magic is to infuse it into ink and tattoo it onto one’s skin. The tattoos are generally harmless in their dormant state, and look like normal ink until activated by the owner, when they begin to glow. Depending on the amount of magic and the shape of the tattoo, different effects can be achieved, such as enhanced martial arts or generation of fire. This type of magic is commonly used by soldiers.

“All of You” Daryl Dixon x Reader

Word Count: 1,904

Daryl Dixon x Reader

Request: Do you think I can get a Daryl x Plus Size Reader where she is in love with Daryl but pushes him away because she feels that she’s not good enough for him?

Warnings: Some self-hatred, language, alcohol, fluff, implied smut

Originally posted by reedusgif

You stand in front of your mirror, just having got out of the shower. Your hair is still wet and its clinging to your shoulders, but you don’t mind. At least you guys have showers again. You don’t look as tired anymore, and you’re looking a whole lot more healthy since you guys arrived to Alexandria. You don’t like to admit it, but going here probably saved your guys’ lives.

You stare at yourself in the reflection. There’s no hiding that you’re plus-sized. You have been your entire life, even when you were a kid. Even during the outbreak, when you would go days without food, you still looked about the same. You don’t mind, not really- you have come to terms with it and you usually don’t let it affect you. You know you’re a great, beautiful person regardless of your size, and you’re a good asset to the group.

The only time that you let it bother you is when it came to one specific person. Daryl Dixon.

You’re in love with him, and you have been ever since you met him on the farm. You were entranced by how much he cared for that little girl, even if he failed to admit it. You could tell he was a good person underneath his hard exterior. Plus, it helps that he is attractive as hell and his arm muscles are god-worthy. Not to mention that you really like his hair now that it’s longer.

You’ve never told him how you felt. Not only because you two are friends and you treasure your friendship, but because you’re afraid he’ll shoot you down because of your size. You feel like you aren’t good enough for him. That he’ll want someone like Rosita, who’s not only beautiful, but thin.

Snapping yourself out of your self-degrading thoughts, you wrapped your towel around your body and walk over to your room to pick out clothes for the day. Even though you had access to wear better clothing, you much preferred your normal jeans and t-shirts. They were more comfortable and easier to move around in.

Throwing your wet hair into a bun, you slide on your shoes and head out the front door. You spot someone coming in the main gate, and you recognize the mysterious person as Daryl.

“Can ‘ya help me carry this?” Daryl shouts to you from across the street, holding three giant bags that were almost to the point of over spilling.

“Yeah!” You say almost over-enthusiastically. You walk over to him and grab one of the bags, following him to where he was taking them. “Successful run?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, good.” You try and keep the conversation going. “What all did you find?”

“Some medical supplies, some clothes. Also found a bottle of whiskey. Thought about chuggin’ that down tonight. Wanna join?” He smiles. You know he’s just being friendly- that’s what friends do- but it still makes your stomach turn with nervousness.

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

Daryl nods at you as you two set down the bags in front of Rick’s house, presumably so he can go through everything.

You didn’t see Daryl for the rest of the day, and your thoughts were running wild. You kept telling yourself that maybe Daryl was joking about drinking together later, or that you heard him wrong. Sure, you two had “hung out” before, but nothing like that. And the thought of being alone with Daryl in his house, drinking alcohol, maybe you get butterflies in your stomach.

By the time that night time had arrived, you weren’t sure if you could go through with your plans. Daryl makes you insanely nervous and you have no idea why. After you had finished up working with Maggie, you were a sweaty mess and you were desperate for a shower. You were walking back over to your house, but someone running towards you made you stop.

“Y/N? I thought ya were coming over.” Daryl came into view, frowning.

“I am, but I’ve been working all day and I need a shower.” You scrunch up your nose.

“Fine, I’m startin’ without ya though.”

“You could always ask someone else if they want to join, I’m sure-“

“Nah, wanna be with you.” Daryl interrupts, smiling, before leaving you alone on your doorstep.

As you shower, you remind yourself that he’s just being friendly, and that you shouldn’t look so far into things. He wouldn’t like a girl like you, you thought, so there is no need to be freaking out so badly. You don’t bother to wash your hair, as you cleaned it this morning, so the shower is quite quick.

You step out, and frown as you look into the mirror again. You’d come so far in terms of building self-confidence, but Daryl made you feel like you were in high school again, dripping of insecurity.

You put on a different pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, not even bothering to put on shoes as Daryl’s house was just next door. Maybe if he got drunk enough, he wouldn’t notice if you just didn’t show up? You shake your head, knowing that you’re being completely ridiculous. It’s Daryl. You’ve known him for years- you’ll be okay.

When you get to his house, you can see him sitting on his couch, holding the bottle of whiskey in his hand as he stared intently at the TV. You knock on the window, and he smiles when he sees you there, getting up immediately to let you in.

“Was startin’ to think you weren’t gonna show up.”

“Nah.” You go inside.

“Look, if ya don’t wanna be here, you can go.” Daryl looks at you, obviously noticing your tension.

“No, I want to be here, I promise.” You smile at him.

“Alright, good, ‘cause I want you here.” He leads you over to his couch, making you blush. He pours some of the whiskey into a cup and hands it to you.

“I have no idea how you managed to find an entire, unopened bottle of this stuff.” You take a sip, making a face at the burn in your throat. You haven’t had hard alcohol like this in a long time.

“Just got lucky I guess.”

“Real lucky.” You commented. “How did you manage to get this back without Glenn finding out?”

“I have my ways.” Daryl smirked, taking a drink straight out of the bottle.

The next few hours was spent talking about random things, and it made you feel at ease. You weren’t so nervous anymore (probably a mixture of being slightly tipsy and just having normal conversation with Daryl) and you were truly enjoying yourself.

You were setting yourself back down on the couch, having got up to go pee. Your buzz was wearing off and you were growing tired, and were thinking about heading home soon.

“Y’know, I don’t know why ya avoid me so much.” Daryl says, scooting his body closer to you as you sat down. You tense up, taking another drink of your whiskey to help calm your nerves. He was definitely drunker than you were.

“I don’t avoid you.” You say simply.

“Yeah, ya do.” He frowns. “I try ta hang around ya more, and the minute ya see me, ya go runnin’ off.”

“Must have not noticed.” You take a bigger drink of your alcohol.

“I used to think ya liked me, and shit, I think I like ya too, but now I’m startin’ to think I was wrong. I’m startin’ to think ya hate me.” He frowns.

“You like me?” You look at him dumbfounded.

“Well, I thought that was obvious.”

“You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying.” You put it off, not believing what you’re hearing.

“I’m not as drunk as ya think I am. Regardless, a man’s most honest when he’s drunk, aint he?”

You’re silent for a while, not sure how to respond.

“You’re right about what you said.” You admit, sighing.

“That ya hate me? I fuckin’ knew it. I’m an idiot, I’m sorry.”

“No!” You yell, startling him. “About the other thing. About liking you. You’re right.”

“Oh. Good.” He smiles down at you. “If I hadn’t drank tonight, I wouldn’t have told ya how I felt. That’s why I wanted ya to come over.” He admits.

“Why do you like me, Daryl? I’m… Well, I’m not like the rest of the girls here. I’m not as thin or as beautiful as the rest of the girls. I’m no Maggie or Rosita. I’m not good enough for you.” You pour your feelings out, a sure sign that the whiskey was starting to work.

“Y/N,” Daryl grabbed your shoulders so you were facing him. “I don’ care about your size. That shit don’ matter to me. I like you for you, not for what size of jeans ya wear. You’re beautiful, hell, you’re prettier than Maggie and Rosita combined. I don’ want to hear ya ever talkin’ down about yourself again. Is that why you’ve been pushin’ me away so much?”

“Yeah. Didn’t think you’d want me.”

“I.” Daryl brings you into a kiss. He tastes like whiskey, but you don’t care, you melt into the kiss anyways. “Love.” He kisses you again. “You.”

Your heart was beating out of your chest. There was no way this was happening. You bring your fingers to your arm, pinching yourself to make sure that you weren’t dreaming. The pain that ran through your arm alerted you that, no, this was real life. Not only was Daryl kissing you, but he was saying that he loved you.

You kiss him back, the shock finally wearing off. He’s an amazing kisser for someone who hadn’t been with anyone since you met him, and that was a long time ago.

“I love you too.” You pull away.

“I love all of you. I love your face,” Daryl kisses your lips softly. “I love your chest.” Daryl trails his kisses down your neck, giving you chills. “I love your stomach.” Daryl lifts up your shirt, kissing your bare stomach. You go to cover yourself up, but Daryl moves your hands away. “I love your thighs.” He starts kissing down your thighs, his lips lingering a little longer on your inner thighs. You can feel yourself weakening under his touch, desperate for more.  

“But most of all,” Daryl brings his face back up to yours. “I love your personality. I love everythin’ about ya. I don’t want ya to ever think that you’re not good enough for me ever again. You’re perfect.”

You answer him by crashing your lips onto his. He lays you down on the couch, bringing himself on top of you as he continued kissing you.

“Can we go up to your bedroom?” A burst of confidence ran through you, your body on fire.

“Yes, baby.” He grabs your hand, leading you upstairs to his room.

The night was spent well, and you had never felt more happy in your life. You finally had the man of your dreams. He loved you, and that was the best feeling in the world.

It’s almost that time again, when the weather gets warmer, and we’re dragged along by our families on mind-numbingly long road trips to places we don’t actually care about. Ah, the joys of summer vacation. Fortunately, for those 8 hour bore-fests, podcasts have your back! My family travels a lot, so I decided to share my favorite podcasts to keep y’all company on the road (ノ・ェ・)ノ

Our Fair City: An insanely vast and detailed show that takes the term “world building”, and shows it it’s maker (which is, of course, the ever benevolent Hart-Life Corporation). Filled with more colorful characters than you can shake a stick at, Our Fair City had a variety of  intertwining stories and beings that will steal your heart, and possibly your science equipment for various nefarious purposes. I’m only on season two, and am still extremely impressed with the effort that went into creating the world of Hart Life, and the many characters that inhabit it. You’ll have more than a few favorites, especially Dr. Herbert West, who manages to capture both the unbridled joy, and sinister dark side, of everything science. If you like classic old-time radio and the apocalypse with a twist, this show is for you.

ars Paradoxica: Time travel is this show’s bitch. No, seriously. Set in an alternate history-afied 1940s, ars Paradoxica handles the often-complicated trope of time travel with grace and creativity, providing several twists you won’t see coming. Starring my newest fictional wife, the utterly adorkable Sally Grissom, the show features some stellar voice acting, and continuity down to the tiniest detail. It actually finds a way to subtly use transitions like an actual TV show, and the sound effects are just killer. Once you start binging it, the story grabs ahold of you and utterly refuses to let go. While the pacing is a bit speedy, the drunk scientists in Vegas plotline is well worth it, and sets ars Paradoxica at a must-listen for any podcast fan.

The Bright Sessions: Before I begin, I just want to say that I wish my therapy sessions had been this exciting. The Bright Sessions is the audio recordings of Dr. Bright, a psychologist who specializes in the atypical. And by atypical, I mean superpowers. For those who like science fiction, but with a more slice-of-life feel, The Bright Sessions is a treat. It features a surprisingly complex antagonist, that pesky corrupt corporation that keeps showing up in podcasts these days, two female characters that I really wish went to my school, and an adorably awkward teenage romance… between two boys. Yep, this show has queer representation, and deals with it like it’s just a normal, everyday thing, which it is. Along with a very soothing atmosphere, when plot bombs aren’t being dropped, of course, The Bright Sessions is a great show for fans who want a unique take on what it means to be out of the norm.

Wolf 359: So, y’know that mood-whiplash podcast that literally everyone has been talking about? Yeah, that’s Wolf 359. Following the audio logs of loveable asshole, Comms Officer Doug Eiffel, the show is bar none, the best fictional podcast out there. No shit. It has everything you could possibly want: cool adventures in space? Check. Found family trope used to perfection? Check. Insanely complex characters and sympathetic villains who really make you question your own morals? Check. An even gender divide and strong female characters written the right way? Check to the max. The show deserves every ounce of praise it gets, and then some. The writing is witty, smart and thought-provoking, the soundtrack is gorgeous, the cast is insanely talented and wonderful and I love them all dearly, and the fandom is the best I’ve ever been in. I am not an emotional person, but this show has made me break down sobbing, and have trouble breathing from laughing so hard. Everything about it is incredible, and I implore you to give it a listen. You really won’t regret it.

Alice Isn’t Dead: Anyone who listens to Welcome to Night Vale has heard of this, and I’m here to tell you that it’s worth the hype. Alice Isn’t Dead follows one woman’s country-wide search for her wife via a truck, and that search gets dark, fast. Jasika Nicole once again does a masterful job of bringing her character to life, the writing is just as profound and weird as you’d expect from Fink, and the whole has a very creepy Americana feel that I like a lot. The story is just beginning to unwind, and whoo boy is it one that has me hooked.

The Black Tapes Podcast/TANIS: I’m grouping these two together, and both are worth your time. The Black Tapes Podcast follows cinnamon roll reporter Alex Reagan, and human ball of awkward darkness Richard Strand, as they unravel the mystery of the Strand Institution’s mysterious black tapes, a collection of unsolved cases involving the paranormal. It’s very creepy, very complicated, and very good. Both characters have secrets, and both are interesting as heck. TANIS is Alex’s producer, Nic Silver’s, quest to to discover what exactly the myth of TANIS actually is. He is joined by “information specialist”, Meerkatnip, who could beat me up and I would thank her. In terms of mystery, they end up getting a lot more than they bargained for, and you will too.

Limetown: Lia Haddock, investigative reporter for APR, is precious and perfect and must be protected at all costs. Unfortunately, she has literally no self-preservation. About 10 years ago, a research town out in the prairie called Limetown, caught the attention of the world when, after a 911 call, became completely void of any people. Now, with survivors contacting her and the mystery unfolding, Lia is doing literally whatever it takes to uncover the truth. The mystery and science fiction genres blend very nicely here, and there are several twists that shocked me. The writing is very gripping and neat, and the various survivors were all a treat to listen to. If you liked Serial, you’ll love Limetown.

Wooden Overcoats: Move over Cabin Pressure, there’s a new British podcast sitcom in town, and it’s great at being great. Wooden Overcoats follows the shenanigans of twins Rudyard and Antigone Funn, and their assistant Georgie Crusoe, as they engage in a pathetically one-sided rivalry with newcomer Eric Chapman over who is the best funeral home on the tiny island of Piffling Vale. Oh, and the mouse is the narrator, and she’s awesome. All the girls are, actually. There’s character development galore, snappy dialogue that had me kneeling over with laughter, a really neat and well-developed setting, and oh yeah, it’s British. Plus, the mayor and the reverend hook up, and it’s sickeningly adorable, and also gay. Everyone is so well written, and I honestly cannot gush enough about how wonderful and funny this show is.

EOS 10: As my friend Keelin once eloquently put it, EOS 10 is like Scrubs in space with conspiracy theories. Also, pretty much no one is completely straight. Following the most unorthodox bunch of medical professionals I have ever witnessed, plus one deposed prince-turned saucier, and a not-actually-terrorist who is thirsty af, the show features the headache-inducingly-insane happenings on EOS 10, an intergalactic travel hub set far in the future. And yet, we still have anti-vaxxers. Sorry, society. On the bright side: found family trope! Canon queer characters! A wonderful and awesome main romance that I ship like fedex! Mature and insightful handling of addiction! Girls who could kick my ass and I would thank them for it! Did I mention that everyone’s a little bit gay! Also, an autistic-coded main character (fucking fight me on this istg) and more conspiracies than Jane has hobbies. Everyone is so likable and well written, the comedy is pitch-perfect, and the world-building is really great. Oh, and the plot kick-starts in the episode where they have to fix an erection that won’t go away. It’s my second favorite podcast out there, and I implore you to give it a listen.

nytimes.com
We Aren’t Built to Live in the Moment
What best distinguishes human beings from other animals is our foresight, as scientists are just beginning to recognize.
By Martin E. P. Seligman and John Tierney

Most prospection occurs at the unconscious level as the brain sifts information to generate predictions. Our systems of vision and hearing, like those of animals, would be overwhelmed if we had to process every pixel in a scene or every sound around us. Perception is manageable because the brain generates its own scene, so that the world remains stable even though your eyes move three times a second. This frees the perceptual system to heed features it didn’t predict, which is why you’re not aware of a ticking clock unless it stops. It’s also why you don’t laugh when you tickle yourself: You already know what’s coming next.

What best distinguishes our species is an ability that scientists are just beginning to appreciate: We contemplate the future. Our singular foresight created civilization and sustains society. It usually lifts our spirits, but it’s also the source of most depression and anxiety, whether we’re evaluating our own lives or worrying about the nation. Other animals have springtime rituals for educating the young, but only we subject them to “commencement” speeches grandly informing them that today is the first day of the rest of their lives.

A more apt name for our species would be Homo prospectus, because we thrive by considering our prospects. The power of prospection is what makes us wise. Looking into the future, consciously and unconsciously, is a central function of our large brain, as psychologists and neuroscientists have discovered — rather belatedly, because for the past century most researchers have assumed that we’re prisoners of the past and the present.

Our emotions are less reactions to the present than guides to future behavior. Therapists are exploring new ways to treat depression now that they see it as primarily not because of past traumas and present stresses but because of skewed visions of what lies ahead.

If you’re a chimp, you spend much of the day searching for your next meal. If you’re a human, you can usually rely on the foresight of your supermarket’s manager, or you can make a restaurant reservation for Saturday evening thanks to a remarkably complicated feat of collaborative prospection. You and the restaurateur both imagine a future time — “Saturday” exists only as a collective fantasy — and anticipate each other’s actions. You trust the restaurateur to acquire food and cook it for you. She trusts you to show up and give her money, which she will accept only because she expects her landlord to accept it in exchange for occupying his building.

The brain’s long-term memory has often been compared to an archive, but that’s not its primary purpose. Instead of faithfully recording the past, it keeps rewriting history. Recalling an event in a new context can lead to new information being inserted in the memory. Coaching of eyewitnesses can cause people to reconstruct their memory so that no trace of the original is left.

The fluidity of memory may seem like a defect, especially to a jury, but it serves a larger purpose. It’s a feature, not a bug, because the point of memory is to improve our ability to face the present and the future. To exploit the past, we metabolize it by extracting and recombining relevant information to fit novel situations.

The ABC Skill: Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions

In DBT, the content of the Emotion Regulation unit can be broken down into three main categories: 

  1. How to identify and understand your emotions–there are no specific DBT Skills that fall into this category, but the content is still an important foundation that the other two categories build on. 
  2. How to change or regulate your emotional responses–this includes Skills like Check the Facts, Opposite Action (link coming soon), and Problem Solving. 
  3. How to reduce your emotional vulnerability–these two Skill sets are known as ABC PLEASE.

This post is going to start covering content from the third category.  This category is incredibly important because not only will they aid you in becoming less vulnerable to crisis, but it will actually give you direction for how to build a life that you want to live–a life you have choice and control in, that is founded on positives rather than simply surviving day-to-day, crisis-to-crisis.  You want to have as much content from this third category in your life as possible in order to counter, to balance, and ultimately to supersede your Bad Days with Good Days.  This doesn’t mean the Bad Days will go away entirely, but it does mean you will have more emotional reserves (or spoons) to minimize the scale and effect of each crisis you encounter.

1. What is the ABC Skill?

The ABC Skill is really three separate Skills all rolled into one acronym because they work towards the same general goal.  Each letter represents one whole Skill that can exist independently of the other letters, which is why I’ve decided to break up the post on the ABC Skill into three posts that address one component each. 

The three components of ABC are:

  • A: Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions
  • B: Build Mastery
  • C: Cope Ahead

The ABC Skill set focuses on how to help you take action in a positive, effective manner that will have both short-term and long-term benefits to your mental health and general well-being.  Basically, these Skills exist to make your life better by reducing your vulnerability to Emotion Mind and to stress-triggered or stress-aggravated symptoms of BPD.

2. What is meant by Accumulating Positive Experiences and what is the point?

The A component of the ABC Skill is Accumulate Positive Experiences/EmotionsThis means doing things that you can genuinely enjoy, participate mindfully in, experience happiness or joy as a result, all without judging yourself or feeling guilty.  It’s important that when Accumulating Positive Experiences, you do so Mindfully because it can actually be fairly difficult to do things you enjoy when your life is dominated by distressing symptoms, bad experiences, and negative emotions. 

You might find that your depression has significantly impaired your ability to find enjoyment in the things that you used to really enjoy.  You might find that your anxiety discourages you from trying new things that might be enjoyable because you’re too afraid that you won’t actually enjoy them, or that you’ll fail, or that others will judge you.  You might find that your paranoia or hypervigilance from trauma makes it almost impossible to fully Participate in an activity that you would otherwise enjoy because you’re always on edge and don’t know how to relax anymore.

You might find that your mental illness has skewed your thinking to be so negative that you no longer see any point of seeking out positive experiences because the positive feelings that come from those experiences won’t last.  You might worry that the negative thoughts and feelings will quickly return and it’ll be all the more disappointing and distressing when you fall back down again.  It’s hard to keep getting back up and trying again when your mental illness keeps knocking you down–it might even seem safer or less harmful to not even try to get back up again because you want to protect yourself from as much hurt as possible. 

When it comes to disorders like BPD, this is a constant battle we wage between ourselves and our illness.  It’s a battle that we will likely be fighting for a long, long time.  We have ups and downs but the ups never last long enough and it can be incredibly discouraging and disheartening, which makes it harder to endure the downs.  DBT aims to provide you the tools you need to fight and win these battles by teaching you Skills that you otherwise would not have at your disposal. 

By Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions you effectively replenish your emotional reserves, reduce your vulnerabilities, and give yourself a reason to pick yourself back up after getting knocked down again.  The goal of Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions is to increase your “ups” by making those ups more frequent, longer in duration, and more stable. 

Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions is one component of reclaiming your life from your mental illness, to re-learn how to live a life that isn’t entirely dominated by the day-to-day struggle to survive and endure. It shifts the focus from enduring or fending off negative experiences/emotions to actually seeking out positive experiences/emotions and enjoyingThe goal is to slowly fill your life up with these positive experiences so you’re fighting those battles less often.  Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions serves both short-term and long-term purposes: reducing your emotional vulnerability, while also helping you build a life that is fulfilling and meaningful to you.

3. How to Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions in the Short-Term

The point of Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions in the short-term is to do pleasant things that are possible now.  Your BPD symptoms (or symptoms of other comorbid disorders as previously mentioned) might make it very difficult for you to enjoy much of what you used to be able to enjoy, so it’s important to take baby-steps and have hopeful but realistic expectations. 

Do small and simple things that you can enjoy as you are in this moment, and slowly build yourself up to being able to attempt bigger experiences that may be more meaningful or fulfilling.  Sometimes small, simple, and silly things can be meaningful too, because every positive feeling you make for yourself should be considered a victory when you generally feel miserable.

You Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions in the short term by:

  1. Start building positive experiences now.  Don’t delay or avoid, don’t tell yourself you haven’t done anything today to “deserve” to have a positive experience today.  You may not feel entirely comfortable spending your time on something positive for yourself, at least not right away, but this is one of those times where it’s okay to give yourself a little push.  Remember, positive experiences are good! They’re positive experiences because they don’t have negative components or consequences.  They aren’t supposed to result in feeling bad or feeling worse–they’re solely meant to benefit you in a positive and enjoyable way.  Start small and work your way up.

    Increase pleasant events that lead to positive emotions.  Try to work up to doing one pleasant thing each day–it doesn’t have to be different each day but you should try a variety of things to broaden your experiences eventually.  The List of Pleasant Events is a good place to start for ideas.  You can also make your own List of Pleasant Events/Activities and print it out, highlight it, stick it to your wall or your fridge–somewhere you’ll see it regularly–and work through it at your own pace. 

    If you find yourself avoiding doing your Pleasant Events, practice Opposite Action (link coming soon).

  2. Be mindful of positive experiences.  Focus your attention on positive moments when they are happening.  Use your Mindfulness What Skills and How Skills to do this.  Don’t multitask!  Dedicate this time to your Pleasant Event and to your experience of the Pleasant Event only.  You want to Participate and engage fully in each experience, soak up the positive feelings or thoughts or sensations. 

    Being mindful of your enjoyment will help you recall the experience at a later date, such as when you’re in crisis and are having a hard time remembering or believing that you have had or could ever have positive experiences and emotions.  If you find your mind wandering to negative territory during your Pleasant Event, refocus your attention or Turn Your Mind towards the positive.

  3. Be unmindful of worries.  It’s rare to ever be told to be unmindful of something in DBT, but this is one of those times when you don’t want to give any mental attention to thoughts or feelings you may have if they are negative and detracting from the positive experience.  You might have worries such as thinking about when the positive experience will end or what will happen after it ends; you might worry about whether you deserve this positive experience; you also might worry that others might expect much more from you now that you were able to expend the effort required to do this one Pleasant Event for yourself; etc. 

    Gently push away these thoughts if you cannot avoid acknowledging them.  Rehearse some affirmations or “challenges” to counter these kinds of thoughts.  These thoughts might be rooted in deeply-held personal beliefs about emotions and about yourself (a list of such myths and possible challenges to them will be written at a later date), so counter-arguments (“challenges”) may not come easily to you in the beginning, or you may not truly believe those affirmations or counter-arguments yet.  It takes time.

    Keep trying!  Remember, if we don’t challenge our negative thoughts/feelings or allow ourselves to have positive thoughts/feelings, then we won’t be able to accumulate positive experiences because we will always stay in one place, restricted by our negative experiences.  It may take you several tries, dozens and dozens of tries before you can effectively challenge, push away, or be unmindful of these types of negative thoughts, but it is possible.

4. How to Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions in the Long-Term

The point of Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions in the long-term is to make changes in your life so that positive events will happen more often in the future.  This is commonly referred to as “building a life worth living” but honestly I believe that all lives are already worth living, they just may not be lives that we want to live.  So I prefer to say that the long-term goal of Accumulating Positive Experiences is to build a life that is fulfilling and meaningful to you–a life that you want to have.  The way you make these changes is to live according to your values.

These are the steps that you would take in order to Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions in the Long-Term

  1. Avoid avoiding: Start now to do what is needed to build the life you want.  You need to make the active choice to pursue Accumulating Positive Experiences and be an active part of that accumulation, rather than hoping that these experiences will just happen by chance.  If you’re not sure about what to do or how to do it, follow the steps as a guide.

  2. Identify values that are important to you: Ask yourself, what values are really important to me in my life? What things to I want to be the foundation of my life? It’s okay if these things change as your identity shifts, and it’s also okay if these values are not 100% firm.  It’s also okay if the values you identify conflict somewhat.  What matters is that you have an idea of what is meaningful to you and the general direction you want to take your life in.  See the List of Values and Priorities for guidance.

  3. Identify one value to work on now.  Ask yourself, what is really important to me, right now, to work on in my life?  That thing may not end up being something you would value under other circumstances, but this is the step where you take your present situation into account.  From where you are at this point in time, what would benefit you the most to work on? What do you deeply want more of in your life that you currently lack, that is within your power to obtain for yourself? Your criteria for determining which value you work on first could be all sorts of things, as long as–at the core–it is about bringing something positive into your life that will make you enjoy or value your life more.

  4. Identify a few goals related to this value.  Ask yourself what specific goals you can work on that will make this value a part of my life?  This value becomes the guiding force behind your goals.  These goals can be small or more ambitious, but make sure these are things that you can work towards right away.  You don’t want to choose goals here that you wouldn’t be able to start working on until a number of future conditions have been met, though it is important to be aware of these sorts of long-term, complex goals.  The idea here is to make things as easy as possible for yourself to take definitive steps towards a more enjoyable and fulfilling life.

  5. Choose one goal to work on now.  Do a Pros and Cons, if necessary, to select a goal to work on now.  You might want to start with something small and easily achievable so that you don’t get discouraged.  You also might want to pick a goal that has a strong degree of immediacy to it, meaning that achieving this goal means instant or near instant improvement to your life in a significant way. 

  6. Identify small action steps toward your goal.  What small steps can you take to get to your goal?  This step really helps if executive dysfunction regularly interferes with your ability to set and achieve goals.  Break steps into smaller components, so that each step becomes a series of smaller steps.  It becomes easier to make progress because small tasks don’t seem nearly as daunting as tackling the whole goal at once.

  7. Take one action step now. This is pretty self-explanatory, but you have to make sure you’re actually taking action rather than just making plans and not following through on those plans.  You don’t have to tackle the whole goal in one day–you can just do one or a few of those smaller actions steps if that’s all you can handle today.  

Remember that Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions is supposed to make you feel better and make your life more enjoyable–it shouldn’t stress you out, constantly frustrate you, or inconvenience you.   Pursuing goals can sometimes be stressful or frustrating or even inconvenient at times, but the benefits should outweigh the disadvantages.

You can work on Accumulating Positive Experiences/Emotions in the short-term by yourself rather easily, as this Skill lends itself well to working at your own pace and listening to your own desired.  When attempting to Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions in the long-term, though, you may want to work with a therapist or close friend in order to help determine what options are feasible to work on now and what values and goals should be set aside for later, when you are further along in your recovery journey.

Further Reading: List of Values and Priorities, List of Pleasant Events, Intro to Emotion Regulation, How can I build positive experiences?   

TL;DR: Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions is a component of the Emotion Regulation ABC Skill, which is a Skill used to reduce your emotional vulnerabilities.  Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions means slowly filling your life up with positive experiences and feelings in order to make your life less vulnerable to negative feelings and experiences. 

In the short-term, this means doing some sort of pleasant thing that is possible right now, no matter how small and trivial, and doing such a thing every day.  In the long-term, this means living according to your values and allowing your values to guide your goals so that you can restructure your life around enjoying positive experiences instead of enduring negative ones.  Accumulating Positive Experiences means giving your life direction so that you can ultimately build a life that you find personally meaningful and fulfilling.

-Pandora

Community Building: terms and identities

This post is to compile the terms I’ve seen in other places (a couple that I made myself) all together in one place!

Terms for female exclusive bisexual women only

  • Feb - female exclusive bisexual women. Idea: could be used for those who are feminine or generally gender conforming, or it could be an umbrella term for all female exclusive bisexual women
  • Iron - Idea: comes from Fe the symbol for iron, so it would be Fe (female exclusive) bisexual, and would then be iron bisexual. Could be used for those who are masculine or generally gender non conforming
  • Fe - Idea: pronounced like fey, alternative for febs, another one for feminine female exclusive bisexual women

Terms for any bisexual woman

  • Tombi - bisexual women who are masculine or generally gender non conforming
  • Tomcat - bisexual women who are sometimes gender conforming, sometimes not
  • Stag* - bisexual women who are GNC/masculine
  • Doe* - bisexual women who are GC/feminine

Please reblog and add any ideas or comments you have on these, and if you know of or have thought of any others please add them!

*I’ve seen these as being intended for all wlw, but mainly for bisexual women. 

Nabooan Term Limits

As I discuss in When Did Padme Come to Coruscant? Why Does it Matter?, the length of time Padme was in office is pretty significant, if only in terms of  her relationship with Anakin and Palpatine. According to Legends, she served two terms of four years. It is unclear if this is standard years or Naboo years. If it is Naboo years, that’s about a year less than Standard Years. 

What I don’t get is why it’s two terms of four years. Is it because that’s how it is in the US in our galaxy? (From the writing perspective of things, that’s not unlikely, just unimaginative.) Is it because that’s how it’s done on Coruscant? Padme was the one who implemented this, so did she just draw inspiration from the structure of the Senate? It’s possible. She does think highly of Republican democracy. However, given that this is for the Naboo people, wouldn’t it be better to choose numbers that are significant to her people? Especially as the idea of term limits is a new idea. Why not have, say, a maximum of three terms each lasting three years? Three is supposed to be a significant number on Naboo, after all. If nothing else, it’s associated with the moons and protection; wouldn’t it be better to have those kinds of auspicious associations with the crown’s terms? I just think that two terms of four years is just utterly unimaginative, and not likely to interest the Naboo who are neither from Courscant nor are they American. :D 

Incidentally, three terms of three years adds up to about 7.6 standard years which is between the 7 standard years for two terms of four Nabooan years, and the 8 years of two terms of four standard years: A happy medium. Since it is exceedingly unlikely that the Nabooan people are measuring their monarch’s terms in standard years, somehow the 7.6 standard years maximum idea just makes so much more sense to me. I guess it’s not that important, but two four year terms just seemed so bland and arbitrary to me.

2017--the year of the radical feminist

hello all!

my name is Olive. I’m a teenage radfem of color. I am in the early stages of creating an online magazine for teenage/young adult radical or rad-leaning feminists, and am looking for contributors!

as you can see, my tumblr blog is really new BUT I have been a part of the tumblr radical feminist community for a little over a year now (had to delete a couple months ago for privacy reasons, remade YESTERDAY!). I’ve been daydreaming about an online magazine for young radfems for a while now, but all of the rhetoric surrounding the Women’s March yesterday (both good and bad) has finally prompted me to take action into my own hands. i’m creating this website in the hopes of giving life to something that can centralize the growing(!) community of young female radical feminists, provide us with a stronger sense of sisterhood, and give us all a loud, unified voice. That being said, it’s an important point that this will not be on tumblr. I feel like tumblr can be really disjointed, and having one place to be oriented in will help achieve the goals I stated above.

I love the attitude of this community, and I want this site to have that same smart, witty, feisty, and loving vibe that we have on our individual blogs, with content focusing on radical politics, activism, and our specific experiences as teenage/young adult women. think, if Feminist Current and Rookiemag had a baby.

I am gauging interest within our community for CONTRIBUTORS to the magazine. (btw, I am reaching out to ALL the rad/leaning feminists. Though this site is AIMED at teenage/young adult women, I want be clear that I AM looking for contributors OF ALL AGES, and of course ethnicities, sexual orientations, and all that. basically, if you’re a woman, if you’re a rad/leaning feminist, I want you!)
the magazine’s content will be varied: journalistic writing (editorials and such), photography, art, music, poetry, comics, humor, etc. will be published, as long as it is relevant to radical feminism, or our specific experiences as teenage/young adult women.

if you are interested in becoming a regular contributor (YOU CAN REMAIN ANONYMOUS !!!! Or not, your choice its whatevs), or contributing ANYTHING AT ALL, or have any help/advice that you can offer in terms of building this website, or just wanna have a chat, orshowmepicsofyourcats, ETC. PLEASE reach out to me via braticalfeminist@gmail.com.
if nothing else, I want to just get out the word that this is a thing, it’s coming soon, watch out for it, and PLEASE spread the word!  

I think these coming years are gonna be super weird times, what with Trump being our president and the mainstream feminist movement becoming so unfamiliar, illogical, and alienating. I am aware of a few other radfem zines out there, but we’re gonna need as many venues and platforms for us to gather and communicate as we possibly can get. i think if everyone’s just wants to no-platform us, we’re gonna have to make our own damn platforms and put out as much content as we can.

with that thought in mind, let this be the year of the radical feminist revolution.

Saturday Self Recs (on Sunday)

Ohh this one is fun and I got tagged for it twice by my lovelies, @mugglelissa and @oceaxereturns!


Harry Potter:

Partners of the Four-Legged Variety [Harry/Draco; NC-17; 18K]
“Training starts in the home, Potter, so your new Crup and I will need to stay with you for a few weeks while I show you how to properly train and bond with him.” The Auror Department is instating a K9 Crup Unit, and Harry is the first to sign up. Turns out the professional trainer is Draco Malfoy, and he has to live with Harry as part of the Crup training programme.
Highkey still my favorite thing I’ve ever written. I had a blast exploring Draco as a Crup trainer for H/D Pet Fair! I fell so hard for @gracerene09‘s prompt for this fest and had so much fun creating this one!

Weasley Wrapping Party [Ginny/Luna; G; 1.8K]
Out of all of their traditions, Ginny always thought this one was the strangest, because wrapping presents at the Burrow is always a struggle.
This was one of my first times playing with my favorite witchy babes for HP Mini Fest 2016.

Seeing Stars (brighter than the constellations) [Harry/Draco; NC-17; 7.3K]
After “accidentally” overhearing a rumour that Harry Potter is hung, Draco cashes in a few favours to ensure he’s the reporter doing the Puddlemere United post-game interview with the team’s prized Seeker in the team locker room.
Possibly the most indulgent thing I’ve ever created haha, written as a birthday giftfic for my dearest @capiturecs!

Weekenders [Harry/Draco; PG-13; 9.4K]
As the newly appointed Head of Muggle Liaison, Draco needs more than just knowledge he’s gained from a book to do his job. Potter offers Draco a hands-on experience of Muggle living in the form of a weekend road trip. He doesn’t mention that they’re going to be going full-Muggle, with Potter driving his Muggle sports car.
Another giftfic, this one written for @digtheshipper‘s birthday! I really had fun researching coastal towns for a weekend getaway in England. I also had a blast having Draco discover pub games and karaoke on his Muggle adventure.

Never Got No Good Doing What I Told [Harry/Draco; NC-17; 41k]
Draco works as a consultant for the Auror Department, much to Harry’s continued consternation. The idea that Malfoy’s got an ulterior motive and hiding something rankles Harry enough to follow him home, discovering that Draco lives a decidedly Muggle lifestyle. Harry, sure that he’s Up To Something™, stalks Draco all over Muggle London. Draco, all too aware of Harry’s latest obsession with him, decides to take him on an adventure. Meanwhile, they both need to work together in a race against the clock to get a deadly illegal potion off the streets of wizarding London. Draco has ulterior motives when it comes to the case at hand, and Harry’s suspicions get the best of him when the pressure is on to arrest a suspect.
This was written for the 2016 Erised and it’s quite intense and pretty angsty towards the end, and my longest fic to date. It’s plotty and there’s a lot of different stuff going on in terms of character motivations. It doesn’t shy away from the antagonism between Harry and Draco. I’m pretty proud of how it turned out overall, especially with the world-building I did in terms of the addictive potion for the case and its effects. I’m also really proud of the characterization of Neville and Pansy, too!  It does have a happy/hopeful ending and ends on a resolved note, and I do also still have plans (and a plot idea!) for a sequel for this one, it’s just taking me forever to work on it. I debated whether to rec this one or not, but decided to throw it in because I am proud of this fic overall, even though it’s a bit darker and shies away from my usual brand of humor/lightheartedness in my style.


Voltron:

Stuck on You [Keith/Lance; NC-17; 25K]
Go to Thalgor, Coran had said. It will be easy, he’d said. Well, it wasn’t easy being literally stuck to his rival thanks to getting exposed to some stupid alien plant in the middle of a humid jungle, after hiking all day with said rival. Lance and Keith just have to make it through two weeks of being around each other constantly, with their arms glued together, before they can go their separate ways. But first, they’ll need to make it through sharing a room and learning how to live on top of each other until they’re free.
Just my response to a lack of forced proximity fics for my two favorite rivals turned space ranger partners! Contains gratuitous amounts of UST and copious amounts of bed sharing, because it’s me and I am a bed sharing monster. ;)

I’m tagging @firethesound@shiftylinguini@kikibluemay@bixgirl1@melonbugg@seefin, @hello-my-stars , @galaxiebot and of course anyone else who wants to jump in!

anonymous asked:

On that Chainsmokers interview, it stood out to me that they said Niall obviously has a really clear artistic vision. I liked hearing that so much. I'm also down for whatever he puts out, but it seems like he's refining his sound and he's clearly taking it very seriously. It's so exciting to watch unfold.

AHH, that’s my favorite thing to hear! it’s much more satisfying to (over)analyze stuff the way i love to do when you know there’s a certain amount of artistic intent behind it, but i think it also shows a really nice sense of purpose! if u think about it i reckon you could argue niall’s been solidly consistent not just in terms of the music, but in terms of building himself up as a performer.

‘this town’s’ solo acoustic style was such a great debut not just vocally but visually, as well! and on that token, he’s learned how to perform with a new band and without the guitar for ‘slow hands,’ and then reworking his cover songs to suit himself and the band as a unit that makes him the frontman without ever seeming to miss a step.

it’s definitely taken time, but nothing’s yet seemed unnatural to me, and i feel like if u gave these guys a setlist and some tour dates, they wouldn’t hit the stage like a bunch of strangers. waayyyy back in the 'this town’ promo days, i remember him saying when he’d started writing that he didn’t have to put much thought into how he’d want it to sound; he just knew. it’s been a while but there’s so much growth and experience squeezed into the last ~nine months since the first single dropped, all that stuff seems to have lined up perfectly with what he said, and it just makes me more confident than ever that it’s all gonna be so good.

Minimum wages policies are just state-mediated cartelization by low-wage workers; within that context “principled” modus tollens of the “why fight for $15 and not fight for $100? but $100 is clearly absurd, so then so is $15″ are just non sequiturs. like any cartel, you should set the price that lets you extract (in this case, extract back) maximum value.

if other policy mechanisms have lower deadweight loss, then great, when capital is forced to sit down at the table, that can be proposed as a pareto-improving alternative. gathering enough threat to get them to sit down, and building up longer-term organizational power through actions of any sort, are the precondition to this though

anonymous asked:

I honestly have been so blown away by all the press around Harry's album. Some reviews were somewhat critical but almost all of them were very positive or at least recognized Harry's amazing potential. And now that he's had massive success with​ sott as well the first week of his album, it really feels like things are taking off even more. With Dunkirk coming up to, it just feels like there are so many wonderful possibilities for him in terms of building on this success

I know!!! I remember how, during the past 18 months, we used to say ‘solo Harry is going to take over the world’ and now it literally happened!!! Everyone is a harrie and the support coming from everywhere is huge and overwhelming!!! And, as you say, with Dunkirk coming up, his star will keep rising and rising :’) And it’s going to be an immense pleasure to witness all of it 🙌

Mayan History (Part 56): Izamal

Izamal is in northern Yucatán, about 40km east of Mérida (the state’s modern capital), and about 40km north-west of Chichén Itzá.  It is the biggest city of the Northern Yucatán plains.  Its urban area covers at least 53 square km.

(The orange dot is Mérida.)

Izamal and Chichén Itzá (name wouldn’t show).

In Yucatán, Izamal is (currently) known as the Yellow City, because most of its buildings are painted yellow; and the City of Hills, which are the remains of ancient temple pyramids.

Izamal was founded during the Late Formative Period [750-200 BC].  It was occupied continously until the Spanish invaded.

In terms of building construction, it was at its peak between the Protoclassic [200 BC – 200 AD] and the Late Classic [600-800 AD]. When Chichén Itzá’s power began growing in the Terminal Classic [8000-1000 AD], Izamal was partially abandoned.  However, it was still a pilgrimage site, second only to Chichén Itzá.

Izamal was the home of two important Mayan gods – Itzamna (the creator god) and Kinich Ahau (the sun-god).  One of the largest pyramids in Central America is in Izamal, and it is dedicated to Kinich Kakmo (possibly a manifestation of Kinich Ahau).  Its base is over 8,000 square metres, and it has ten levels.

South-east of this pyramid is the pyramid Itzamatul.

Two raised sacbeob link Izamal with the Ruins of Ake (29km to the west) and Kantunil (18km to the south).  These were both important centres.

In 1633, a Spanish writer wrote that Izamal was a place of pilgrimage, accessible by “four roads running out to the four cardinal points which reached to all ends of the land, Tabasco, Guatemala, Chiapas, so that today in many parts may be seen vestiges of these roads.”

Does anyone want to give me some advice for strength building exercises? Everything I’m finding online either assumes you are already a shape other than “vague blob” or is for weight loss with strength building as an afterthought. (I want to be stronger for practical reasons, and I’d like to be muscular for aesthetic reasons, but I would much rather continue being fat and squishy than somehow manage to make myself any smaller than I currently am.)