build me up from the bones

So, this is how my legs look when I’m relaxed.

This is not a normal posture for a leopard gecko–though it’s normal for me.

A more normal posture would be to have my legs tucked up a bit with my feet flat on the ground, and not resting on my elbows, and my legs should be a lot more muscular; you can see mine are still pretty thin and not toned looking. That’s okay though, I have a LOT of weight I need to gain, and I guess I’m just going to get it in my legs later.

I’m hoping with weight gain and moving around more that I build up some leg muscle, but even that probably won’t fix the position of my legs much, because that is due to bone deformities from my MBD.

At some point, while I was being starved by my first keepers, my bones started to get soft due to lack of calcium and, eventually, they fractured. My first keepers never took me to a vet and, when they dumped me at the pet store, their vet said there wasn’t much we could do but let them heal and hope it was okay because of the condition that I was in and due to how many small breaks there were.
When they got me, my spine was also kinked pretty severely and I had a bad underbite as well, both of those things have healed up now though. My spine is straight again and my jaws line up!

Obviously, that was all pretty painful (broken bones always are), but my legs healed, and this is how they healed.

I can still walk and I can move pretty fast–not as fast as other leopard geckos, but still pretty fast. I do look a little funny when I walk; a lot of times, I walk on my front elbows instead of my feet because of how weak my front legs still are and because of how my elbow joints healed. My feet are on the ground, but I put my weight on my elbows as my ankle joints are still really weak. They may always be that way, my keeper isn’t sure yet.
Someone on Reddit said I do a very cute army crawl!

My back legs swing out in big circles when I walk due to how they healed and, when I rest, I rest with them splayed out like this because that’s just naturally how they want to go due to how those bones healed. 

I’m resilient though, I can still run and walk and I’m working on climbing. Some day, my front legs will be strong enough to let me climb up onto the big cork bark piece in my enclosure.

anonymous asked:

Making a drawing before making the actual drawing before starting the lineart?

Well first of all I draw concept art, on a separate piece of paper, to help me understand what I want the character to be doing. Then I sketch the anatomy of the character lightly, like with papyrus I always reference a skeleton, and add in the details.
I usually use lines and circles to make joints, and then reference actual arm, occasionally my own, to check if they’re correct. With clothing I also reference real images, but referring back to the actual base of it all I build up from the bones/ lines and then draw the muscles or clothes around it.
I hope this helps! (*´꒳`*)

don’t forget: i love the trees
but the cities are something else.
they sing to me, to me as one in
a glorious whirling machine, and i can hear
the gaps in their voices
as they stop to breathe, the
smoker’s roughness, the tear-stained
strain to their supplications.
i’m in love with the streetlights, all
buzzing on at once, each opal and topaz and
crumpled bags of doritos. the
city doesn’t bother to tug my hand, because
it is a proud thing, with
a bloody beating heart, a vicious thing,
with a deep-set crimson smile.
a beautiful thing, filled up with
human eyeshine. we build cathedrals
out of bones and healing, from dusk
until dawn. we build museums out of
mirrors and desperation and anguish.
every act of creation makes the city
like the sky.
—  city girl//ast.
Who is in Control? A spell to help with Nightmares. (Banishing Version)

Materials Needed:
A poppet
Lyrics to Halsey’s Control

What to do:

Set the poppet in front of you and imagine you are a towering force above it. You want to build up your energy so that you are more powerful than the poppet(and the nightmare it represents.)

As you imagine yourself growing in size over the poppet; chant these lines from Halsey’s Control in your head.

“I’m bigger than my body
I’m colder than this home
I’m meaner than my demons
I’m bigger than these bones”

Imagine the poppet crying “please stop you’re scaring me” as your energy rises.

Smile down at the poppet and whisper “God damn right, you should be scared of me.”

Pick up the poppet and dispose of it as you please; (burn/soaked/buried; it’s recommended you bury the poppet.)

Once you have disposed of the poppet; still feeling that energy holding you high above your fears;
Write “Who is in control?” On your arm.

This is a reminder that you are in control of your demons; and if they mess with you, you will give them hell.

-Spell by Neo Thantos.


are you my soldier?
are you my savior?

how much must i love you
before you are my castle?

how much must i love you
before you are my kingdom?

will you fall from grace
when you lift me towards the sky?

will you think of me
when you sink into the ground?

because, lover,

my body is covered in flowers,
given life by your name,

and when the morning comes
and i pluck each petal away,

my bones scream for you.


why can i not build you
from the ground up?

why can i not grieve
your wasted breath?

why is it i who digs this grave,
when you are my blood?

—  empty hands // e.m.
Mom always told me I needed
to find a nice boy to marry me
so we could make a nice home
but she never noticed how my
bones were strong and sturdy
against the wind and my
arms could hold up the weight
of the atmosphere– she never
noticed how I didn’t need
another to build myself a shelter
that would keep me safe
from the storm.
I am going to love myself
so that you don’t have to,
save your band-aids and kisses
for someone who needs them,
these skinned knees can heal on
their own, I am sorry that I don’t
need you, but I can protect
myself even if I am alone.
It’s not that I’m against
finding love and then marrying
someone– it’s just that I don’t
need it like it’s the only thing
that could ever make me happy;
I will decide when it is right to
open my heart up to something
other than life, but for right now,
I am growing, and I don’t need
anyone to slow me down.
—  Mom, I want to learn how to cook because I nearly burned our kitchen down, not because I am constructing myself to be wife material

Hail Mary full of grace
Do not allow these broken bones to heal
Here, here treachery sleeps
In the broken marrow of a man
With an axe between his teeth

Hail Mary full of grace
No prophet will weep for me
Or for the cottage I’ve set on fire
It is meant to be. Every first born is to
Build a coffin from his own desires

Hail Mary full of grace
Here, here I sleep, in the devil’s goblet
This is my keep. It is warm here, it is home here
His lips curl around my body like a blanket
So say his pandemonium is what I seek

Hail Mary full of grace
Here is a seed that lies too deep
Planted with steady hands and a brother’s blood
Father, it is blooming.  
Father, why do its branches twist in to his face?

Hail Mary full of grace
I come to you with a dry throat
The sound of your name like a trumpet blows
But no land wishes to home my bones
And the river of my baptize will only be soiled

Hail Mary full of grace
The feast is set and the hearth burns brighter.
Harsher. Seat me at the foot of your throne.
Bloodier. Seat me behind an angel’s flaming tongue.
Murderer. Seat me where the jackals sleep/

Hail Mary full of grace
The meat has been carved and laid for me
My skin bristles at its pepper, my eyes water
And stings. Betrays me with a single lick
Forgive me father for I have sinned

Hail Mary full of grace
Accept my contrition on the rosaries I wear
And not the beast I’m to supper

Deus meus, Deus meus, Deus meus



Incline not my heart to any evil thing, to practice wicked works with men that work iniquity: and let me not eat of their delicacies. Psalm 141:4

you tried to save the world, 
didn’t you? 
Tried to use your 
two good hands to build
    an arc, but when 
the floods came, the 
rivers knocked away 
every line on your 
leather palms.   

Tell me what you have left, 
tell me what’s sacred 
to you now.
There is so much 
dust in your lungs,
you’re coughing up fallen cities.

     See, mama warned me 
about your carpenter hands. 
She’d always say, 
Baby, be careful. They’ll
   scratch their names into 
your bones and you’ll wake up, 
years from now, with an 
ache in your ribs.

But you carved me 
the most beautiful cities. 
Every wall was tilted. 
Towards you.
—  A.Y. // the boy with the carpenter hands

You build yourself a home from the ground up with the bones of past lovers. you are safe in a house made of a heart that beats just for you. you are the sun and I am just a planet revolving around you and you are the center of my goddamned universe and that is how you love
recklessly because even if you break me you know I’ll still come crying back to you begging you to set my broken bones right.

my skin isn’t armor for you to wear so you can feel invincible. one day I’m going to stop missing you and you’ll find yourself longing for the feeling of being needed.

i am not here to prove to you that you are lovable
i am here because I love you
i am here because I don’t know how to leave yet.

—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write– Lily Rain
Love Is Coming Home To Me
This is an insanely mushy, sweet playlist (with a little bluegrass for the occasion) for the Madison trip we're all so excited for!!

as requested by tumblr user @kultiras who won my 100 followers Promo!
hope ya’ll enjoy!
as always all characters belong to Ngozi
gorgeous cover art by my beautiful bestie @ziimbits


Build Me Up From Bones- Sarah Jarosz….Halcyon- The Paper Kites….High Hopes- The Vespers….Bloom- The Paper Kites….The Boat- Benjamin Francis Leftwich….Atlas Hands- Benjamin Francis Leftwich….Morningbird- Forest Sun….Georgia- Vance Joy

au where Will is a farmer who opens up a stand at the local farmer’s market Hannibal visits every Saturday. Hannibal is drawn to his stand by the beautiful bunches of swiss chard and fresh eggs and artisanal goat cheese because Will is a multi-talented farmer like that. He has a scowl on his face as he hides behind his glasses reading the farmer’s almanac (because this is a FARMER au, what else would he read???), and Hannibal asks some pretentious question about his chickens and Will gives some grumpy response without even looking up from the planting chart he’s poring over and Hannibal buys a dozen eggs and three varieties of cheese and so many greens he can barely fit them in his basket and Will still refuses to make eye contact.

Hannibal is smitten immediately by the grumpy man hiding his beauty behind those thick frames and that mop of messy hair falling around his face and those hands that he knows work the earth until they ache and he goes back to Will’s stand every single week, and every week it’s the same. Hannibal finds himself utterly addicted to the routine, his week becomes nothing more than a countdown to seeing Will on Saturday morning and being met with a frown and eyes locked firmly on the ground. Everything he cooks tastes more delicious using Will’s ingredients, and he begins planning his meals for the following week around what Will has to offer.

The Saturday that he shows up and Will’s stand is gone, Hannibal feels his heart sink down into his Italian leather loafers. He asks around to find out if anyone knows where he’s gone, all he has is a first name to go on, and by the end of the morning he manages to find out that Will Graham runs a farm in Wolf Trap, Virginia and has a propensity for up and disappearing from the market for months at a time.

But this is Hannibal and he’s in full blown obsession mode at this point and that just won’t do. So like the creep he is he hops in his Bentley and drives to Wolf Trap and finds Will’s farm and when he gets there Will is wrist deep in dirt planting tomatoes and finally, finally he meets Hannibal’s gaze, but really only to ask him what the fuck he’s doing and “are you stalking me???” and Hannibal smiles because lbr the answer is yes but he manages to flatter his way out of Will calling the cops by explaining that another’s produce simply won’t do and he has a big dinner party coming up and it won’t be the same without something from Will’s garden.

Will gets back down in the dirt and shoots Hannibal a look that’s a mix between I’m irritated af and I’m genuinely flattered af and he tells him if he expects to get anything out of that garden he’d better lose the jacket and tie and roll up his sleeves, because he has a lot of work to do, and he’s not selling Hannibal a single leaf of anything until they’re finished.

Hannibal ruins a very expensive pair of pants and his favorite shoes but Will is radiant covered in sweat and dirt and he actually invites Hannibal in for lunch and Hannibal goes home with a trunk full of vegetables and Will’s number scribbled on a slip of paper tucked inside his pocket.

it legitimately cracks me up that ppl think trans ppl could not POSSIBLY exist in the fallout universe like the institute can literally build organic bodies from the ground up & you can heal broken bones w an injection but no one knows how to pad a bra anymore