Kanina habang nag-aantay ako ng fx papasok ng school. May umano sa paa ko tapos kinausap ako, nagtanong kung pwede ko daw ba siya ihatid sa sakayan papuntang Quiapo. Napansin ko na bulag si manong. Di na ko nagdalawang-isip na tulungan siya. May dumating na bus tapos hinawakan ko braso nya sabi ko may bus na. Habang naglalakad kami tinanong ko kung wala siyang kasama, sabi niya wala daw. Bakit? Di na siya sumagot ulit. Inalalayan ko siya paakyat sa bus tapos bumalik na ko sa pwesto ko kanina. Nagpasalamat si manong at nakangiti siya. Pati ako napangiti at na-overwhelm. Bilib ako kay manong kahit may karamdaman siya, patuloy parin siyang lumalaban sa buhay. Mahirap yung ginagawa niya dahil wala siyang makita. Na-experience ko narin mawalan ng paningin noong bata ako, saglit lang pero takot na takot ako nun. Paano pa kaya si manong? Buong buhay niya ganun na siya. Pero patuloy siyang lumalaban. Tapang niya! Sana walang manloko sa kanya pag hihingi siya ng tulong. Ang gago na lang nun kung may gumawa nun. Saludo ako sa mga katulad ni manong. Sana pagpalain pa sila ng lubusan. Sarap lang sa feeling pag nakagawa ka ng good deed. :“)
Whenever I’m alone, I often wonder about things. Things about myself, my future, and things that I should be considering. I’ve been thinking of considering some things I’ll add to spice up my life. Shifting, joining a lifegroup, getting a plan, asking my dad to teach me how to drive, stuffs like that. I think too much. I don’t know what to do. I’m still confused on what I’m gonna be in the future, i’m blacked out. I can’t see myself as a Computer Engineer, but I see myself sitting in an office or maybe teaching. I don’t know if I can still fool myself, or maybe I’m just being futuristic and perceiving something bad. I don’t know, I’m still praying for this. Letting Christ walk my life and take me to the right path, ‘cause I’m 100% sure I’m lost, nowhere to go. I am also considering to join a Lifebox group in our school. I’m sure I’ll be able to grow more as a person, physically and spiritually. :) ……*sleepy* anw, I just felt like typing yet I’m sleepy. So I’ll drift off…..
“They say, mothers know best. But I believe Christ knows the best-est for me, for He holds my future ü”
Here I am blogging my thoughts before I sleep. The song Demons by Imagine Dragons is on repeat in my playlist. Curious about why this text is entitled “100%”? Well you see, I still talk with the person I’ve been admiring in the past few days, and as I talk to him each day, I came to know how his life goes and how he deals with it. Even though we debate every night (believe me, there’s no day that we don’t debate but it’s just for fun), I still have that small chance to get to know him better. I may not be expecting something to happen to us(‘cause he’s the type of person who doesn’t/haven’t been on a date, not sure) and he doesn’t give me signs that he also likes me. I just find it sweet when he tells me that we should sleep(after debating and this happens often coz he falls asleep in the middle of a convo), when he helps me and do things I told him to do or when he wakes me up in the morning through fb(its annoying promise) coz he’s insisting to go to school and that I shouldn’t be late for class unlike him. He even thought of treating me the winter wonder Lulu skin I’ve been eyeing for days now(looking forward to that skin so muchhhh) when I told him to treat me and I hope he does hoho. Anywayyyyy, bottomline is I really think he’s different among those boys 100%. Yup. I am certain. :) He isn’t the one who gets drunk or smoke and definitely not a swearing person(okayy a little bit of a trashtalker too). He’s a goody-goody-two-shoes guy. Wait a minute, wth I’m complimenting him too much. Hahaha. Meh. Yuppp! He’s different all right. I can say that I chose the right person to admire(unlike some of the bad boy exes that I had a relationship with). Hope this, whatever this is, stays. :) He makes my long and stressful day complete and light(especially when he’s about to lose to an arguement bwahahaha). Lalalala whatever. I’m still passive. But I’m happy. :-) let’s see what happens in the future!
08/17/13 - 08/18/13
Here are some of the photos I got on my phone from my brother’s awesomely wild party! We, they got drunk. Me and Myung lost our crown on Beer pong. Haha. Huhu. Eew losers haha! I got pretty dizzy after the game, and my stomach doesn’t feel like drinking so I stopped. I just watch them go drunk and wild! Some of them are in the sala still drinking, and some are in the room preparing for the game- spin the bottle. JP and Carl was really drunk last night that we had to take care of them like escorting them to the bathroom, give them water, remove Carl’s contact lens, etc. oh and Myung got drunk as well but he slept early hihi. Anw, we played spin the bottle until morning.
The party was loud and wild. It’s extremely fun. Awesome party brother Myungki! ❤☺☺
Bat kaya lagi kong sinasalo yung burden at dinadamdam ng iba? Dinadamayan ko sila. Ambigat din sa feeling. Nakakaurat din minsan kasi di mo naman problema pero pinoproblema mo din. AHAHA. Anong spirito ba yung sumapi sakin? Ewan ko ba. =)) Isa lang alam ko, di ko sadya makisawsaw haha! deh. I want to help them to be free from their burdens. I’ll be by their side kahit pati ako naaaning sa kanila. I love my friends and I cherish every one of them. I hope they do the same for me, though. Hihi. ‘Coz recently I feel lonely.. :)
Sana matuloy kami ni sister, Patricia Grace Domingo bukas. Niyaya kasi niya ako mag-GH. Bibili daw siya ng bikini. Haha! Last time kasi na niyaya ko siya, hindi natuloy kasi walang magbabantay kay PK. Ngayong niyaya niya ako, sana matuloy na. Gusto ko na kasi bumili ng bagong damit *___*
I just had a bad start of my day. I called my mom this morning because she’s gonna talk to our “katulong.” I wasn’t really giving much attention on their conversation ‘coz they’re speaking “Ilocano” and I can’t understand it. The “katulong” called my brother and he talked to mom. Then, my brother called me so I could talk to mom..
My mom told me that tita Mila-“katulong” said that she noticed Dale-my brother looks sad these past few days and that I should talk to him very once in a while. Ask him about his problems, needs, life, career, etc. I told my mom that I’m doing that but my brother’s just to silent and shy to talk to me. I don’t know why, is he afraid of me? I don’t think so.
My mood started to change when my mom pointed out that me, as the oldest daughter, should know my responsibilities in the house. Well what do you think? I’m trying my best mommy! It’s just hard! Thinking of the fact that I’m a teenager too! I want to have fun! It’s just hard on being a teenager and a parent as well. My father is always not around in the house and I don’t know where the fuck he is. Where he goes or even where he sleeps! Honestly, I think my father has a woman. I don’t know! I don’t wanna assume that fuck fact! I hope I’m not right. Okay…. Getting back to the topic. I just had to carry my brother’s burden too, and I feel so heavy. “Bat ba kasi may kapatid akong napakatahimik??????!!!!” I tried talking to him, but he’s just too silent!! I asked him what he needs many many times and he keeps answering me with one answer, “NONE” fuck that?! and I’ll hear that he’s sad? that he’s too shy to confront me? What’s that suppose to mean?! I can’t take this anymore! One day, I’ll talk to my brother. SINCERELY and SERIOUSLY.
Having a silent and shy brother is really really tough. I have to make adjustments AGAIN. To know what he needs and what he wants. ~_____~ and I hope our “katulong” would be REPLACED soon. I just don’t like her anymore. DAGDAG BURDEN KA LANG.