Gift: Drunk Men Don't Lie
For @alyseb630 because she’s a big cutie pie and Tumblr mums must spoil their children
“Princess I love you.” The mostly-empty wine bottle swung precariously from his fingertips, the contents sloshing loudly, demanding to be drunk.
Marinette rolled her eyes and reached for the bottle. “Yes I know that’s the fifth time you’ve said that in the past half hour.” He snatched the bottle out of her reach and rasied it to his lips, taking such a large mouthful that it would have been frowned upon at a dinner party. “Give me that Chat.”
Chat’s eyes bugged out of his head for a moment before he started giggling uncontrollably, his uncontrollable (at least in his drunken state) tail twitching. “That Chat.” He wheezed. “That’s funny.”
Marinette groaned and reached for the bottle again. “You’ve had enough.”
Chat clutched his prize to his chest. “No.” He whispered. “I need it.”
Marinette slapped his thigh and ignored his giggles of ‘ooh kinky’. “You don’t need it. Give it to me or I won’t give you any croissants next time you visit.”
“No croissants?” He breathed horrified. His ears flattened against his skull and his expression turned pitiful, as he pondered his new punishment. “Cookies?” He asked hopefully, ears pricking up.
“No.” Marinette said firmly, folding her arms across her chest.
“No cookies?” He whined, voice edging up a few octaves at the word ‘cookies.’ His ears drooped and his tail flopped onto the chaise with a thump.
Marinette swallowed the thump in her throat at the sight of her partner’s sorrowful expression. She tightened her crossed arms and deepened her frown so she wouldn’t give in. For a few seconds it was a silent battle of willpower before Chat lost. He held out the bottle in defeat, head bowed, one hand grasping the neck, the other supporting the base; like a sommelier might offer wine to a patron.
Marinette took it gingerly and slipped off the chaise so she could go pour it into her flowers on the terrace. When the bottle was empty she placed it as close to the wall as possible. Hopefully she could get rid of it later without her parents noticing. She took a deep breath and dropped back into her room, snapping the hatch closed behind her. She narrowed her eyes in the dark, Chat was missing and the hatch leading to downstairs was open. Marinette cursed, raced over to the hatch and stuck her head down the hole.
“Chat.” She hissed, panic setting in. Her parents weren’t exactly aware of the stray cat she’d adopted over the past few months.“Get up here.” After a moment of silence he wandered up the stairs and butted his head against hers.
“Princess! What are you doing here?” He wore his signature Cheshire grin and his voice was entirely too loud.
She grabbed his collar and hauled him through the hatch. “I live here.” She grunted as he sprawled on top of her giggling. “With my parents -”
“I love your parents.” He mumbled into her hair, still giggling. “Your fluffy and kind and nice maman and your funny papa. ”
Marinette rolled her eyes and tried to push him off her. “That’s nice. They are also parents who could catch you here without permission. Remember?” He had forgotten apparently, his giggles slowed and he pulled himself up onto his elbows so he was hovering over her, one of his clawed hands tangled in her hair, the other at the side of her face. He squinted at her and Marinette could feel her face burning under his intense scrutiny.
What?“ She demanded defensively.
“You’re very pretty.” He slurred.
To hide her embrassment Marinette laughed. “Oh really?”
He nodded sagely. “I always thought so.” He lifted a hand and trailed it down the side of her face, his body lowering to meet hers. “Ever since I first saw you.I thought you were beautiful.”
“You’re such a liar.” Marinette snorted, but her words had the wrong effect. Instead of him laughing and rolling away, he dipped his face down and brushed his nose against hers.
“Drunk men don’t lie.”
He was close. Too close. She could feel heat rolling off his body and smell the wine thick on his breath. She lifted her head to and suddenly she she could taste it. A tart flavour exploded in her mouth as he swept his tongue against hers. Marinette shoved embarrassment aside as she responded to him in a way she didn’t know she was capable of. She moved her hands to his shoulders as her head titled for better access. He was warm and steady, his torso touching hers as he supported himself above her. She was shaking, she could feel it, it felt so right so natural, but as he drew back for breath, all she could think of was Adrien and of how drunk Chat was and of how he was not really in control right now. She didn’t push him away, and so he moved in again, slower this time. He was barely a millimetre away from her lips when she found her voice.
She felt his body freeze instantly and his eyes snapped open, full of an emotion she couldn’t name. In a fraction of a second, he’d pulled her up into a less vulnerable position and scrambled as far away from her as he could, his back pressed against the wall, muttering “Sorry, I’m so sorry,” His voice thick and sad, still marred by the alcohol.
“Chat?” She crawled forward and reached out to touch him but he flinched away immediately.
He mumbled a long string of words that didn’t make much sense but Marinette caught “no means no” and “taking advantage of you.”
“Chat?” She touched his shoulder causing him to glance up. His eyebrows were furrowed as though they were desperately trying to meet and his mouth was pulled down at the corners in an uncharacteristic frown.
“Sorry Marinette.” He said again, her name instead of his usual endearment sounding funny on his tongue. The wine slurred his words but it couldn’t hide the sincerity. “You don’t want- I get it… I’m not-” He pressed a hand to his forehead half in embarrassment and half due to the pounding headache that had already started. “’m very drunk. That’s no excuse… You didn’t want me to-”
“No, no, no. It’s not like that.” Marinette said, creeping closer. And suddenly it wasn’t about Adrien or her being Ladybug. It was just about them. “I just… You’re really drunk.”
Chat’s ears perked up. “It’s just because of…” He struggled to finish his sentence. “Wine?”
Marinette scratched the back of her head. “I guess?”
He placed his hand on her shoulders, a wide, silly grin suddenly painted lopsidedly on his face. “Will you kiss me when I’m sober?”
Marinette jerked back in surprise and he released her immediately. “What?”
“When I’m sober, can I kiss you again?”
The grin widened and he held out his little finger. “Pinky swear Princess!” He sung.
They locked fingers and he stood, staggering towards her bed. It wasn’t until he reached the hatch that she realized he was trying to leave. She raced over and pulled him down onto the bed and away from the hatch and the dangerous rooftops. “Where are you going?” She demanded.
“Uh…” He shrugged and rolled over, amazingly managing to roll over the top of the railing and landing on the hard floor. Marinette jumped down beside him, but he didn’t seem phased by falling. “To my house.” He managed before standing up and trying to climb the ladder again.
Marinette pulled him off the ladder and directed him to the chaise. “No way kitten-” At the nickname he flung his arms around her neck and nuzzled into her neck, giggling again. Marinette rolled her eyes and walked him over to her lounge, her eyes landing on her phone. “You have to stay here. I won’t have you stumbling around like an idiot, what would Ladybug think?”
He hummed in thought before stepping back and releasing her. “I gotta go.” His words slurred again as though he was weaving in and out of his drunken state. Marinette pushed him onto the couch, a soft breathy grunt escaping him before she pressed ‘record’ on her phone.
“You have to stay here.” She told him, leveling the phone with his face. He either didn’t notice or was too far gone to care.
“But Princesss,” He said, desperately trying to make his voice sound matter-of-fact but failing miserably. “I gotta go.“
“Like pee?” She asked. He nodded.
After the expedition to the bathroom, which involved much pushing and giggling and an instance where Chat asked if she wanted to ‘disrobe him,’ they were back in the bedroom, Chat still trying to leave and Marinette still recording.
“If you go I’ll kick your butt.” Marinette snapped. She had to snap because the only other option was to start laughing at him-and he did look silly, his misbehaving tail wrapped around his legs, preventing any kind of progress-but laughterwould only encourage him.
“But you forget Princess.” He smirked, once again trying to maintain his matter-of-fact tone so he would win the argument. “I’m a superhero.” He pointed at himself before raising his palm to her. “So,” here he glanced at his hand as if it belonged to someone else before using his other hand to put down all his fingers bar his index, leaving his hand in an “ah-ha” gesture. “I could kick your butt.” He grinned, seemingly satisfied with his declaration, still apparently oblivious to the phone in his face.
“But I’m a girl. And a Princess.” Marinette pointed out. “Would you still hit me then?”
Chat frowned and pouted. “I would never hit My Princess.” He said seriously, seeming to have a sober moment before slipping back into his drunken tirade. “But I can still kick your butt.” He smirked and crossed his arms.
“How?” Marinette challenged.
He smirked and reached for her, pulling her into his lap and running his clawed hands carefully up her sides, prodding at her tummy as he tickled her, pouting when she didn’t even squirm. “You’re not trickling… tickling… ticklish.” He corrected himself before finding the right word.
“Are you done yet? I want to sleep you know.” Chat threw his baton at the light switch, plunging the room into darkness again before burying his face in her hair.
“I am sleeping.” He promised, breathing against her hair.
“Sure you are.” She reached back and ruffled his hair before switching off her phone and trying to get up off the chaise so she too, could get some sleep, but Chat’s arms were unrelenting.
“Cuddle with me?” He whined softly.
“Ugh. Fine.“ She rolled onto her side, adjusting beside him until she was comfortable.“You’re such a cat.”
She grunted, giving him permission to speak.
“You promised to kiss me when I’m sober.” Marinette could hear the grin in his voice.
She didn’t open her eyes. “I did.”
“So… Good Morning kisses?” He asked hopefully.
Marinette snorted. “We’ll see kitten.”