Figured out exactly why I don't ship Spuffy
It all really comes down to his line “Chosen”, “I love you” / “No you don’t. But thanks for saying it”. Spike’s been the one who really gets her, their whole relationship is based on the fact that Spike is the one who actually gets her, not her, Buffy never understands herself but Spike does, Spike understands her so much better than she understands herself and that’s what makes that line matter so much to me. When he says she doesn’t love him, when the person who understands her best and has been right there through the last years and everything they went through, says that she doesn’t love him he’s right, he has to be right because that’s what their relationship is, two people who understand each other and that’s why I can’t ship it.
Granted, I never watched all of Buffy in the proper order, been working on it, but Spuffy never did it for me and it’s not because of Angel, I do multi-shipping with Buffy, I ship Angel with Cordelia and Buffy with Faith but I could never get into Spuffy and I believe this is why, because needing someone is different from loving them. Buffy needed Spike, throughout the time they were ‘together’ she needed him, she needed that someone who understood her and Spike was there because he loves her but, at the end of the day, that’s not love and he knows it and he understands everything she’s not saying and tells her that, that she doesn’t love him and he’s right because that’s what he’s there for, to help Buffy understand what she can’t understand on her own, love being one of the main things.
Even if he wasn’t right, Buffy relies on him to be right so she’ll accept his word that she doesn’t love him and that’s the end of it.