so all goalies are weird, and most goalies are aliens of some kind, but there is another subset of goalies i’ve discovered: angry goalies. you all know the type. most goalies will just sigh, or only get angry when provoked by a shitty defense, but angry goalies are angry all the time.

examples of angry goalies:

  • tuukka rask
  • jonathan quick
  • robin lehner
  • corey crawford

these are the ones that i know are angry goalies; please let me know if your goalie is also angry and should belong on this list

Hockey players at restaurants

Waiter: so you wanted the salad?

hockey player: well ya'know, i'a think that the salad is a good choice and uh I think that the chef has just gotta make a real good effort and uh I uh trust the famer, he’s been doin’ a fine job growing the lettuce ya know he’s got a real good thing goin,he really cares and I uh just gotta do my part and uh finish that salad.

NHL regular season 2016-17

Arizona Coyotes & Buffalo Sabres

Boston Bruins

Chicago Blackhawks

Colorado Avalanche

Columbus Blue Jackets

Dallas Stars

Edmonton Oilers

Florida Panthers

Montreal Canadiens

Philadelphia Flyers

Pittsburgh Penguins

San Jose Sharks

Toronto Maple Leafs

Vancouver Canucks

Washington Capitals

Winnipeg Jets


a small presentation for hockey tumblr 

Thank you to @impekkablerinne for assisting me through this journey.  the idea stemmed from @skjeibellsring  ‘s post 


[Refs call off Karlsson’s goal after an offsides review, Jack Eichel scores again the very next shift]

JACK EICHEL: Auston said before the next faceoff, he’s like ‘if we score here this next shift, point at the net.’ We all saw his goal the other night, and we thought it would be funny.


“alright kid, time to pick a number. what do you want?”

“hm, i don’t know. i’m a goalie, though”

“a goalie, you say?”

“you’re getting 31″

nhl teams as vines

more of my bullshit, y’already know what it is.

(also, you might wanna hit up @hockeyplayersasmyfavoritevines​ because she’s cool and posts stuff like this on the reg)

bruins: it’s a fucking bear! 

sabres: chicken nuggets 

wings: ymca yungman 

panthers: singing woman not allowed on bus 

habs: i coulda dropped my croissant! 

sens: good evening 

bolts: steppin on the beach 

leafs: what the FUCK is up, kyle

canes: obi-wan mr. sandman 

jackets: dudes turning soft, i stay hard 

devils: paper bag over head dance

isles: club jam

nyr: lipstick in your valentino bag


pens: blocked and reported

caps: accept yourself, love youself

avs: we all die – you either kill yourself or get killed

stars: two bros, chillin’ in a hot tub

wild: shower time, adderall, a glass of whiskey, and diesel jeans

preds: troy speaks right from the heart

blues: around the world like la la la la la

jets: baby it’s cold


coyotes: -this is why mom doesn’t FUCKING love you!

flames: i was in a band

oilers: seinfeld – numb

kings: umbrellas / run

sharks: it is wednesday my dudes

canucks: get fucked, goose

vgk: me and my omelet

also, runner-up vines, because some were too real to leave out:

(the bruins / zdeno chara) (sabres) (wings) (panthers) (the current habs) (sens) (bolts) (leafs) (canes) (jackets) (devils) (isles) (nyr) (flyers) (pens) (caps) (avs) (stars / jaime benn’s voice) (wild) (preds) (blues) (jets) (ducks) (coyotes) (flames) (oilers) (kings) (sharks) (canucks) (vgk)

Hockey Returns vol. 100.  Excited!