buds for my buddys

so near to home and yet so far

for @actualsvenshirogane - some Altean!Lance fic for you, buddy my bud

If he’s gonna be honest, Lance is in a state of pseudo-shock, right now.

Everything in the past hour has just happened…so quickly, and now he’s standing outside his once-home, too scared to go inside.

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there were ppl who were trying to pose as nu'est fans by trying to make stan twitter accounts a month prior, to spread a dating rumors about minhyun in order to tear the fandom apart, but like?? it didn’t work?? bc we don’t care if hes dating or not?? lol

Just One Video

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: some curse words; Steve Rogers wouldn’t approve. Also, some cringey puns 

A/N: Honestly, I just randomly thought about this and couldn’t wait to write this down; it seemed like such a good idea in my head, so, I hope I did it justice!

word count: 2.6k 

tagged: @whormotional

I looked up at the clock for probably the millionth time in this class and internally groaned. It’s only been 12 minutes, are you kidding me? This was my last class of the day, and I needed to get to the train station as soon as possible -meaning, once that bell rings, my ass is out of here. 

Tickets to go see my favorite band were going on sale today after school. Since it’s the presale, all the best seats would be gone if I don’t get online fast and reserve some. If there’s anything I know about the 5SOS fam, it’s that we are all practically going all “Hunger Games” to get pit seats. (A/N: I love 5sos, but if you don’t, feel free to imagine your favorite band/singer)

If I run to the station, I can catch the 4 o’ clock train, be home by 4:30, and have my dad’s credit card by 5 when the sale starts.

I shook my leg, anxiously waiting at my desk for the bell to ring. About 5 minutes before it rang, I packed up my stuff and gripped the edge of my desk. 

C’mon,” I muttered to myself. “Just a couple more minutes.”

I knew that being aware of the time would only make it feel like it’s moving slower, but it’s time, and time cannot possibly slow down, or speed up, and man can they free me from this prison already? This is agony.

Glaring at the clock, I took my phone out instead. With everyone else already packing up, the teacher didn’t seem to care if we used them anyway. I saw that we had about three minutes left and I could see the small hand on my clock icon moving. I watched it until it finally hit 3:45pm. I looked up to the speaker where the bell rings, legs ready to jump out. I scoot my butt closer to the edge of my seat and waited for the signal to run. 

Slightly startling me, I heard the bell ring, jumped out of my seat, and booked it for the door. I vaguely heard the teacher tell us to do the reading and to have a good weekend. 

I will once I get those tickets, I thought. 

I glanced down at my phone and saw that it was still 3:45.

I’m making good time. I could get to the station in less than ten minutes at this rate. 

I kept up my fast pace as I shoved passed people crowding the halls, occasionally looking at my phone. Ever hear the phrase, “Don’t text and drive”? Well, it can easily be changed to “Don’t text and walk.” 

Like the idiot I am, I chose this very moment to check the time. The very same moment when the person in front of me suddenly decided to stop walking in the middle of the hall. I crashed right into their back, causing them to stumble forward. Both our phones skidded out of our hands and onto the floor.

I winced and shut my eyes in pain, “Fu-,”

“Oh shit, Y/N, are you okay?,” they asked, surprised, quickly bending down to pick up our stuff.

I looked up from rubbing my forehead where I smacked it to see Peter Parker offering me my phone. I blushed and slowly took it without breaking eye contact. I was looking into his eyes and saw his concerned expression.“Hey Peter, sorry I crashed into you; I’m in a hurry. I didn’t think someone would randomly stop in the middle of the hallway,” I chuckled nervously to make light of the situation. 

Peter’s eyes widened and he said sheepishly, “Oh, sorry about that. I was texting and I can’t really type and walk at the same time. I mean, I can, but I’m not really good at it. Sorry, again.”

In that moment, I forgot why I was in such a hurry. I was admiring at how nice his hair looked today when something else caught my attention beside him. I looked at the clock above the lockers and saw that it was almost 4 o’ clock. “It’s cool, I’m sorry, I gotta go! Bye!” I exclaimed, running down the hall. “Excuse me, sorry, excuse me,” I muttered as I made my way to the exit. I shoved my phone into my pocket and focused solely on getting to the train station. 

When I finally got there, out of breath mind you, I ran to the nearest turnstile and hastily swiped my card. After my card went through, I ran across the platform to find  “Train E.” When I read the signs, I saw that the train was barely about to leave. People were filing in and I used the last remaining strength I had to run passed the doors. Stumbling in, an old lady gave me a look of bewilderment. I looked at her and said out of breath, “Training for a marathon.” Pun intended.

She gave me a “whose kid is this and why are they talking to me” look and simply turned to look at something else.

I sighed in relief at the fact that I had made it on time, and focused on slowing my breathing. After feeling like I could breathe properly again, I took my phone out to see what time it was now.

What the hell? 

My eyes widened and my heart dropped. This wasn’t my phone. I looked at the lock screen in horror and realized two things: 

1. This must be Peter’s phone. 

2. It’s too late to go back and exchange it.

Nope. I am NOT turning back now. That’s not an option. I did not just run, willingly, half a mile to just go back and miss the sale. I’ll just call him and see if we can meet up later.

I tried my luck and swiped to unlock the phone.

No passcode? Seriously Parker?

To get it over with, I quickly dialed my number and waited for Peter to pick up. Phone calls always made me nervous, so I was slightly relieved when he didn’t pick up right away. Maybe I can just send him a text; he’s probably busy anyway. Just when I thought he wasn’t going to answer, he picked up.

“We swapped phones didn’t we?” I heard him sigh on the other side. 

“What gave it away?” I breathlessly laughed,

I’m talking to Peter on the phone. Oh my god, I thought as my heart rate increased.

I’ve had the biggest crush on Peter Parker ever since I saw him in my class freshman year. I’ve never had the guts to go up and talk to him, so I just admired him from afar. I mean, who just talks to their crush? Today’s encounter was probably the longest conversation I’ve had with him, and now, I’m talking to him on the phone!

“Well, last I recall, my Uncle Ben wasn’t a golden retriever,” he chuckled. “It’s a cute dog though.” 

Oh. So that’s who was on the lock screen…

I felt a wave of sadness for Peter go through me before clearing my throat, “Thanks. His name’s Buddy.”

“Like Air Bud?” he questioned, amusement lacing his voice.

I rolled my eyes at the comment I always get. “I was like 5 when I named him, okay? Don’t disrespect Air Bud like that,” I joked. It was easy to be myself around Peter when on the phone. I had the advantage of not getting distracted by his..face. His cute face.

He laughed and said, “No disrespect intended. That movie is a solid three stars.”

Three stars?” I exclaimed.

“Yeah, I just don’t believe the whole ‘dog wins basketball championship for our school’ thing. I mean, how bad was their sports team, right?” he chuckled.

I grinned, “If you’re gunna see it like that, then I think three stars is a little generous.”

“Damn, you’re right. I should’ve said two, but since I want to spare your feelings, let’s say three,” he replied.

“That’s fair,” I confirmed.

His sense of humor is just as good as his looks, damn him.

The train was starting to slow down, and I remembered that I had to start running again. 


Hey, I have to go,” I said, “my phone has a passcode, so I’ll call you back okay?”

“Um, yeah, no problem. How long, exactly?” he asked, sounding concerned.

“Um, maybe in an hour or so? Is that okay? We can talk about meeting up,” I said, looking around at the other passengers to see if we were arriving soon.

“Yeah, that’s okay. My phone doesn’t have a, uh, passcode though so..” he said awkwardly.

“I won’t look at your nudes, Parker,” I dead-panned.

I heard him stumbling on the other end, then him clearing his throat. “No, I don’t- I don’t take nudes, I swear I-” 

I smiled at his stuttering and cut him off to prevent further embarrassment, “Well, I’ll never know for sure, cause I won’t go through your stuff, okay?”

“Okay,” he sighed in relief.

“You sound a little too relieved, Peter. Are you actually hiding something?” I asked, laughing lightly.

It’s too fun to get him all stutter-y.

No! I’m not, hiding, anything. I just, like to, keep some things, um, private -you know,” he mumbled the last part.

“I’m just kidding, I don’t really care,” I smiled. “I like to keep some things private too. But if it makes you feel better, my passcode is 2002. I know, original. I won’t snoop if you don’t.”

“Yup, no snooping here. The only snoop I know of is Snoop Dogg,” he confirmed. 

I laughed, but then heard the intercom mumble something about arriving to our stop. “Okay, I have to go for real now, bye Peter.”

“Bye,” he said. 

I hung up and put the phone in my pocket. I sighed to myself at the thought of running again, but I still couldn’t help a smile. Not at the thought of running, but because of Peter.

Peter. I just talked to my crush! And we joked around, and I didn’t make a fool of myself! That’s the most progress I’ve ever made to befriending Peter. 

The screech of the train pulled me out of my train of thoughts, pun intended -once again. Mentally laughing at my own joke, I started heading for the doors, waiting for them to open.

Here we go, I thought.

“Dad! Hurry, hurry!” I screeched.

I made it home with 5 minutes to spare and rushed my dad to grab his wallet.

“Calm down!” he yelled back. “I have it here. You know how to enter card information right?”

I rolled my eyes and sighed, “Yes, Dad.”

I didn’t mean to get all bratty; time sensitive situations pressure me and I start to yell at everyone. Poor Buddy was excited when I came home, but I lightly pushed him aside so I could get to the computer. I didn’t even bat an eye at my little brother.

Dad leaned over my shoulder, watching me type the numbers in. My heart was beating way too fast, but I was over the moon. I scored two tickets, and although I couldn’t afford VIP tickets, I got really close seats. 

I confirmed my order and let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks Dad!” I exclaimed, hugging him. 

My dad hugged me back and said, “Yeah, well, you did pay for some of it.”

I didn’t work half of my summer for nothing, I thought. 

“Does Michael really have to come with me though? I only saved up for my ticket,” I muttered, pulling away.

My dad ruffled my hair and said, “Yes. I’m not letting you go to a concert all by yourself.”

“Then why don’t you come with me? Or Mom? Spend some quality time with your only daughter?” I pleaded.

He scoffed and said, “ Your mother works that day and I’m not spending 3 hours with a bunch of screaming girls and trashy music.”

“Hey!” I defended. “It’s not trashy,” I mumbled.

“It is!” Michael called from the living room.

I glared at the little culprit and said, “Well, you’re stuck coming with me, so!”

Michael ignored me and kept watching TV.


As nice as this was, I’m going to go to my room now, I have some readings to get done,” I excused myself.

I sat cross-legged on my bed, staring at Peter’s phone. 

No snooping, I mentally scolded.

I bit my lip, and dialed my number, putting it up to my ear to hear. He picked up on the fourth ring.

“Hello?” he asked, sounding out of breath.

I heard a siren in the background and some yells in the background. I furrowed my eyebrows and said, “Is this a bad time?”

There was some rustling on the other end, and a grunt. Then, it went silent for a couple more seconds before I finally heard, “Um no, not a bad time at all. Why? Wha- what’s up?”

“I can call you back later if you’re busy…” I trailed off.

“No, no need for that -I have everything under control,” he chuckled nervously. There was another shout in the background until I heard what sounded like some crash and yet another grunt. I faintly heard Peter say something to someone and then he came back on the phone to say, “Actually, I’ll call you back.” Then he abruptly hung up.

“Okay,” I said out loud, looking down at the phone. 

That was weird.  

I went back to the home screen and saw that it was getting late. I decided that I should take a shower before trying to call Peter back. I could use it after all that running.

I dried my hair with a towel as I walked back to my room. My door was partially opened, and I knew that I closed it before I went to the bathroom.

Michael, I thought, narrowing my eyes.

And there he was, on my bed using… Peter’s phone!

My eyes widened, “Hey! That’s not yours!”

I roughly grabbed the phone from Mikey’s hands and glared at him.

“It’s not yours either!” he accused. 

“This is my friend’s phone you brat,” I said, slightly angry.

“Well, your friend has lame apps,” he muttered, starting to get off my bed.

“Are we not going to discuss the fact that you invaded my privacy?” I said, exasperated.

“Nope!” he exclaimed, slamming my door.

I’m gunna kill him, I thought bitterly. Twelve-year-olds go missing all the time; maybe Mom and Dad won’t notice. 

Sighing, I looked down at Peter’s phone and saw that I accidentally opened up his gallery when I pried it out of Michael’s hands. Just as I was about to close out of it, I saw a thumbnail that caught my attention. Ignoring my conscious, I tapped it. 

There was a black screen with some writing that said “a film by Peter Parker”. I chuckled at the thought of Peter making a movie and kept watching. It couldn’t hurt to watch just one video, right? I heard Peter use a gruff voice and laughed.

This is so cute.

He was in a car with another man driving, going somewhere. The man said “you know you can’t show it to anyone” and Peter replied, “Yeah I know”. I paused the video there and thought about what I was doing. 

Is this part of the film? They’re acting, right? 

I swallowed the guilt and hit play again anyway. Peter was talking to this guy, Happy, and for the most part this seemed really innocent and funny. Then, it got confusing. He mentioned Captain America, and got to a hotel room. 

Okay? What’s going on here…

That’s when my heart fell.

I paused the video and was no longer looking at Peter. It wasn’t the nerdy, science-loving, dorky Peter Parker that I knew. No, on the screen, I was looking at Spider-Man. The Spider-Man. 

What. The. Fuck

Part 2

reasons why hayden in goosebumps night of the living dummy III is Iconic™

  • his outfits are Looks truly

yes i made a collage specifically for this post

look at that vest. truly inspiring. those pajamas? beautiful. camera around ur neck for that photographer aesthetic?? amazing

  • he wakes up in a field with a cow right next to him. Goosebumps predicted his future home can you believe it. i love my farmer son
  • he tells his cousins that he’s into photography and his cousins just. walk away from him what the fcy taht’s so rude. then one of them hit their nose on the door. Good. i’ll look at your photography hayden i believe in u
  • i love my son
  • i don’t care if he’s 17 years older than me he is my. son
  • also he’s like 16 here and he looks 12. me too. i love him
  • soft and smol

r u kidding me

i love

  • look

he’s been yelling for 5 straight years. me too my buddy. inspirational

  • i love him
  • he is my son and i love him
  • my son
  • who i love
  • who is my son
  • he literally screams so many times in these two episodes like me too i freaking relate. i know how you feel bud
  • “come on slappy ol buddy ol pal” - hayden (also known as My Son)
  • then here we have the mf biggest plot twist of the century

his head just!!!!!????? turns ALL THE WAY around!??!?!?!??!!? are you okay??!??!??!

  • i love him
  • watch this show i’m yelling

Transcriptions - Part ¾

(( For whoever feels lost, this piece of fiction is the continuation of the events of my fancomic/fanfiction Sanders Sons, in which the Sanders Sides are Thomas’s children and it can be read from the start HERE))

((Trigger warning: Environment of legal parenting procedures))

((Tag List: @ccecode @hrtnsolofytube @emma123patka @lamsbelife @emeliethetimelady @parano-vigilant@sanderssidesstuff​ @glitterincluded@evanisonfire @procrastinatingwithglitter@creepy-cupcakes​ @anniemiku @morallogic @fandomsandnonsense7 @tinyten19@justanotherpurplebutterfly @2manyfandoms2count-love))

Transcription of Record of Testemony - Child Protective Services (CPS)

Detective Marshall - DM

Roman Sanders - RS

DM: Hello there.

RS: How do you do, fine sir?

DM: Well, thank you. How do you do?

RS: I could be better, my dear fellow well-doer. You see, I have to attend my theater class in a couple of hours. I am a key part on our play. I cannot skip practice.

DM: I’m sorry, buddy. You won’t be able to go today. Do you want me to ask someone to let them know you won’t be going?

RS: Do not call me buddy for you are not my bud, evil foal. Fine, then. Do it. But I will destroy you.

DM: (silence)

DM: Please put the Lego weapon down.

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College was a chance for new experiences. But some things from high school I never got over; the guys were always farting. Even with the added bonus of living with 3 other guys in my dorm I haven’t heard a single peep all last semester, to a fart fetishist like me that’s rather disappointing. That’s when I met Braxton during my Spring Semester freshman year… a transfer from a tech school.
Monday started out like normal. The guys and I just got back from Christmas break and we were ready to start on a new semester. Three us of had some failing grades, and keeping up our GPA was pivotal. I sat in the hallway of my 8am class awaiting the professor to unlock the door. “Hey dude!” Braxton seemed nice and polite. I smiled as he got a phone call and sat next to me. It was a friend of his… perhaps from high school? I wasn’t bothered with it. It wasn’t any of my business… but that’s when a smell hit me. I looked to my right to see Braxton on his back laughing at me while chatting on his bud. “Dude! I just ripped ass on my new college buddy.” He seemed proud… cheeky even… as his legs were raised in mid air and his ass protruded through his sweats. He patted his flat belly and laughed as he hung up his phone. “Sorry man, I’m still a preteen when it comes to that stuff… the name’s Braxton.” I introduced myself and he asked me to pull his finger and I obliged. A fart ripped out as he leaned to my direction. The professor walked up and laughed. “Oh Braxton, still up to your same tricks” This professor transferred from Braxton’s old tech school… he must have a reputation for farting.
The class was a basic chemistry class. Braxton’s favorite compound, methane, proved to be very constant. The class was beginning to get annoyed. “Hey prof! I got some chemistry for ya!” PHHHHBBBBBRRRRRBBBBFFFFFTT!!! It was massive. I thought I saw the look of fear in multiple students, especially since this was the 5th fart in under 10 minutes of class… we had no idea how much gassier he was gonna be in the upcoming weeks. “Prof let me write a report on the history and composition of methane gas last semester as a trade off I get to fart in his class as much as I want” Braxton seemed cheeky… to cheeky… fuck that was hot… “We’ll I was transferring that semester and wouldn’t see you again… but here you are.” Professor was somber. “That’s right but a bet’s a bet!” Braxton let a series of small farts out that caused most of the class to hold their noses under their shirts. PPPBBRT, ffrrt!, BRROOOOOOFFP! FFRRT! ffrt! pphhhrrrrnnk, ffrttt! “I got gas everybody!!!” He slapped his ass and I stared in a craze as his ass backed up into my desk. “Ahh! Smell that one buddy, silent! But oh so DEADLY!!!” Braxton wafted the SBD into my face as I was stuck in my desk. My cock was throbbing. But it was only the beginning of my day.
I lost count how many times Braxton farted on me in that class. But my next class was Biology II, with Braxton. The desks held to people in a bench like seat. Braxton was sneaky in this class and let rip silent blasts of gas for what seemed like every minute if not more.
Then came yoga, partner yoga, hot partner yoga. I took a PE class because too much studying would make me a weak man… But Braxton made me desperate for release… that made me even weaker. He had no idea what his gas was doing to my brain. He was just having fun.