buddy jesus

The Signs As Curse Words/Phrases
  • Aries: fucking hell
  • Taurus: ah shit
  • Gemini: asshole
  • Cancer: god-fucking-damn it
  • Leo: asstastic
  • Virgo: oh crap
  • Libra: damn it
  • Scorpio: fuck it all
  • Sagittarius: go to hell
  • Capricorn: fuck you buddy
  • Aquarius: jesus fucking christ
  • Pisces: oh gosh darn it

A/N: This… is disgusting, plotless, irredeemable fluff. I’m sorry. 

“What’ll it be, hon?” 

This waitress can’t be for real. She’s ambiguously middle-aged, with poorly-bleached, preposterously floofy hair piled on top of her head. Wide hips, blue eyeshadow, one bad tooth - the works. She’s like a caricature. Hell, she’s even chewing gum, smacking it cheerfully between her tongue and her teeth. She’s unbelievable, is what she is. This whole diner is unbelievable. And true to his penchant for unbelievable things, Mulder is absolutely delighted. 

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the fosters sibling dynamics

good brother/sister dynamics that have been developed well: callie and jude, mariana and jesus

brother/sister dynamics that need better development: mariana and jude (i mean, makeup buddies), jesus and callie (these emotionally constipated & overprotective babies need someone to talk to about their trauma)

bad brother/sister dynamics: brandon and mariana (we took you in when no one else wanted you, brandon being a generally unsupportive jackass)

THE WORST brother/sister dynamics: brandon and callie (i mean, come on, theyre literally fucking)

Omegaverse Prompts

1. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

2. “Is there a reason you’re smelling me so much?”

3. “Stop following me!“

4. “Could you… walk me there?”

5. “I think I love you!”

6. “Took you long enough.”

7. “Why should I be scared of you? You’re not any different, you have feelings too.”

8. “You smell so nice, it makes me feel happy.”

9. “I dreamt we had pups, isn’t that weird?”

10. “You made… a nest… for us?”

11. “I’ll make you my mate, no matter what. So be prepared.”

12. “Everyday, all I can think about is making you my mate and filling you with pups. It pisses me off.”

13. “What are you doing? Wha-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

14. “A heat is totally more difficult than a rut.”

15. “That’s what I love most about you.”

16. “I don’t need you for this! I can take care of myself!“

17. “I’m not sick… I’m…”

18. “How the hell is this comfy? It’s just embarrassing.”

19. “Tone down your scent buddy. Jesus, you’re acting like you’re trying to mate right now.”

20. “Anything you want…”

21. “Please be my mate!”

(Probably add more later)

Snapped. Pt One, Captivated - smut

Author: mystic-biscuit
Series Rating: NSFW 18+
Words: 2200 give er take. (I know so short for me)

Notes: Here is the first part of the collab with the lovely @thelittlestkitsune


  • to attract and hold the attention or interest of, as by beauty or excellence

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anonymous asked:

stay away from svtfoe, we don't deserve to have to deal with former su stans who only realized the show was bad when it became popular to do so.

holy shit dude

anyway claiming tht i was an “su stan” at any point is assuming way too much of a person u dont even fuckin know, i enjoyed the show at the time bc i got attached to the characters in season 1

second of all uhhhhh “only realized the show was bad when it became popular to do so” jesus christ buddy have u heard of like , realizing things ? having other ppl inform you abt stuff ? wow ? wild .

anyway i love star vs and im gonna rub my gay trans autistic hands all over ur characters sorry

Daddy!Ashton would include:
-feeding his baby the healthiest foods
-but baby Irwin is still chunkiest of all the 5sos babies
-ashton using the baby sling every morning
-ashton never wearing a shirt bc he wants him and baby irwin to have skin to skin contact
-which leads to baby irwin never wanting to wear a shirt when they’re older
-drumming on baby irwins cheeks, tummy and thighs
-“jesus christ buddy you’re getting heavy”
-ashton makes his own baby food
-ashton wouldn’t get a haircut until the baby was like 1 years old
-"ouch that hurts!! daddy doesn’t like when you pull his hair.”
-baby irwin would be bald until they were almost 2
-baby irwin having the cutest giggle