Something Borrowed (pt. 2) - Steve Rogers x Reader
Summary: You and Steve are best friends. You are in love with him, but he doesn’t know. Steve had always had some sort of feelings for you, but he had never realized them until he had found out how you felt. Unfortunately, Steve is newly engaged to Sharon Carter.
Warnings: heavy, heavy heartbreak - I used my past-relationship experience in this one. I wrote out some of the things I used to say when my heart broke. It’s pretty ugly lol.
Word Count: 1,700+
Notes: My inspiration for this came from the movie Something Borrowed.
You’d clung onto Tony for what seemed like a long time. Your fingers dug into his suit jacket as if you were holding onto dear life… or really what you were holding onto was the last piece of hope you had of Steve ever loving you back.
Tony didn’t say anything. You had become so fragile to him that he just held you until your cries died down.
He spoke softly, “Y/N, we’re going to get you to your room, okay?”
“I’ll be the one to do that, Stark.”
You whipped your head around to the low, hoarse voice. For a second you thought it was Steve, making you panic. However, it wasn’t him.
With a scowl on his face, Tony turned away from you, still holding onto you, “Remind me why I even allow you to be in my presence, Barnes?”
Bucky ran his metal hand through his hair, “Hey, I apologized countless of times, I thought we’ve moved past this already.”
As expected, Tony scoffed. You looked at the two of them, and you could almost smell the testosterone brewing. You knew where this was going, and their petty conversation made your anxiety worse.
“Hit the road, grease lightning,” he rolled his eyes, “You really think the ‘bygones shmygones’ phrase is going to apply to the fact you murdered my—”
“Tony!” you hiccuped. He immediately turned to you, hard eyes softening. He searched your eyes, understood, and nodded. He put on a stern face, “You better take care of her, Barnes.” He took your shoulders and slowly led you over to Bucky who removed his suit jacket and put it over your shoulders.
Bucky Barnes was another one of your best friends. When it came to inside jokes and secrets, he knew it all. Given the fact that you couldn’t express your feelings about Steve, to well… Steve.. you always went to Bucky first. You were confident enough to say that he was probably as close to you as you were with Steve.
Bucky wrapped his non-metal arm around you and placed the other one on your free shoulder. Tony opened the balcony door, looking around the ballroom to see if anyone was looking in your general direction.
“Let’s go, beautiful. We’ll get you cleaned up, binge some Stranger Things, and eat whatever your heart desires,” Bucky whispered into your ear.
You sniffled out a quiet laugh. “…whatever your heart desires.” Whatever your heart desires? Ha. What your heart desired was a sweet, dreamy, blonde-haired, blue-eyed man named Steve Rogers.
The three of you made your way across the ballroom, making sure you stayed close to the walls. You were closest to the edge, shielded by Bucky’s large figure, and then Tony was nearer to the crowd, making sure no one noticed your absence.
You tried hard not to look around, for you dreaded spotting Steve. You knew if you laid eyes on him, you would’ve broken down right then and there. However, you betrayed yourself. No matter how much you were mad at him and how much it pained you to see him with another woman, you still loved him. It was a vicious cycle that you always fell into. You might as well call yourself a sadist. But what could you do? You couldn’t change your feelings for him. You loved Steve. And as much as you didn’t want to see him, a part of you didn’t care because seeing his beautiful face gave you the smallest amount of bliss in your being. To you, having a glimpse of him and dying inside was better than not seeing him at all.
You craned your neck and peaked around Bucky’s hair. “Y/N, I don’t think you should—”
And then, as you continued walking, you saw her. Your gaze started with the rippling train of her dress. It was gold with an intricate design that seemed to go up for miles. God, no one could see them, but you could tell her legs were long; a feature that was unlike your short ones. The design traced all the way up to her waist to a shimmering jumble, outlining her hourglass figure.
Your gaze trailed up to her shoulders and neck, skin absolutely flawless. Her Old Hollywood waves framed her face elegantly. And the cherry on top was her vibrant ruby-red lips.
Sharon was beautiful.
The corner of her mouth curved upwards, probably at something adorable that Steve said… Steve. Your eyes darted to the big figure next to her. Steve.
They looked like the perfect couple. You saw the way he looked at her.
He loves her.
It was in that second that Steve’s gaze locked onto yours. Your breath hitched. His wide smile vanished when he saw your puffy eyes. He turned to Sharon for a moment, mouthing something while giving her a tight smile. Then, he made he way over to you.
“Shit,” Tony muttered.
Your head immediately spun forward and you instinctively clung to Bucky’s arm. Bucky saw what made you react this way and sped up the pace. You were three quarters across the room. A part of you wanted Steve to stop you, and hold you, but you were so close, and you needed to escape.
The three of you stopped in your place. Tony and Steve were face to face. He was blocking him. Funnily enough, it kind of reminded you of the time when their relationship was on the rocks.
“Look, Cap, congrats to you, but our party’s full over here,” Tony pushed him gently. Steve glared at him, but ignored his comments, turning his attention of concern back to you, “Y/N, are you okay?”
When he said your name, your eyes darted to his, and you remembered how beautiful his blue eyes were. It made you shiver internally. His voice built up your anxiety, and as if he was psychic, Bucky held onto you tighter and pushed you along, resuming your journey to the elevator.
“Hey, hey, Buck, what’s going on?” Steve pushed past Tony.
Bucky didn’t stop walking you along. However, you stared up at his expression. He looked down to the carpeted floor, tightened his jaw, and let out a puff of air. He turned to look at Steve, and in that moment you’ve never seen Bucky look so scary up close. He had given him the dirtiest look, which startled Steve and left him dumbfounded. Bucky’s face frightened you to your core, and it reminded you of the times he turned into the Winter Soldier. You made a mental note to never get on Bucky’s bad side.
Steve was shook, “..Buck?”
Bucky guided you inside the elevator. He faced you, back to the entrance, still holding onto your arms. You hid mostly behind his large figure, peeking around his arm to look out. Tony was still a few feet away trying to stop Steve from passing him. In all honesty, it was quite impressive because you were sure it took a lot for Tony handle super soldier Steve.
However, Steve was stronger and was able to push Tony aside with a grunt. As he made his way to you, your pulse quickened with his every step. You could see his furrowed brows and a mix of confusion, concern, and determination written all over his face. The tiny piece of hope in your head shouted that Steve was coming to you to tell you it was all a mistake, that he was coming over to hold you in his arms… but it was too late. That piece of hope was silenced once the elevator doors shut in his face.
The elevator ride was dreadfully quiet, but only because there was some unvocalized, mutual understanding between you and Bucky. Bucky didn’t want to say anything stupid that made you feel worse, and you appreciated that.
The doors opened, and F.R.I.D.A.Y spoke, “Have a good night, Miss Y/N. I hope you feel better.” You sniffled out a chuckle, “Thanks Friday.”
You entered your dark complex with Bucky behind you, following suit.
“Oh my god, Y/N.” You whipped your head around to see Wanda getting up from your couch.
Your bottom lip parted from your top lip slightly. You just stared at her, while she looked back knowingly. You didn’t know what to do or say. Previously, you had been numb, trying to bury the feelings, but looking at Wanda’s helpless face was about to send you over the edge.
You held your breath, swallowing down the ache that was building up in your chest. “Wanda,” you whispered.
Your eyes began to sting, as your tears threatened to fall. You tried to ignore them by darting your gaze to the floor or different objects around your living room. But you failed. And she knew.
“Wanda,” you gave up.
You ran into her arms and cried into her strawberry blonde hair. This moment was different from when you cried with Tony. This time, you yelled and thrashed about. Your voice was rash and you could barely breathe. Once you saw Wanda’s face, the agonizing burn hit you so hard like a slap to the face.
Steve doesn’t love you, and he never will. Steve is too good. He’s way too good for you. You’re not worthy. He deserves and desires someone better, and that someone is Sharon.
“Why doesn’t he love me?” you howled. “Why did he lie?”
“Do I deserve this?”
“Why did he leave me?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
This is what felt to get your heart broken.
The flashes of “what if’s” and the “imagine” scenarios were overbearing. What if it was you instead? What if he proposed to you? You imagined your life with him. You saw yourself waking up to a sleepy, beautiful man, who radiated at the sight of you in your pajamas. You imagined the first time intertwining your fingers through his, looking up into his eyes and wondering, “Where the hell have you been all my life?”
You will never have this. You will never have him.
Steve will never hold you, kiss you, or touch you.
He belongs to Sharon now.
lil note: should i have the reader have a lil somethin somethin with our grease lightning? ;) lol lemme know!
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