Breakfast With Tiffany - Angst Ending
I should specify that SM provided no credits to a producer in the description for the official “Heartbreak Hotel” music video. This is a work of fiction so any connection Gray might have with the song is conjecture. Be sure to read the beginning of this story here and check out the fluff ending here.
It was one of the worst fights that you and Gray had ever had. You didn’t even realize that you were yelling until Gray walked away from you without a word. He shut down like he always did which only made you more furious. The last thing you heard from him was the front door slamming on his way out.
That had been months ago and you’d since stopped hoping that he would come back. Roughly two weeks after the fight you came home from work to find all of his stuff gone. The landlord left a voicemail informing you that Gray had paid for his remaining share of the rent but that the lease was not to be renewed.
It was like learning how to walk on your own all over again. You had to take things one day at a time. And you tried to concentrate on the small victories. Like those mornings when you woke up and weren’t immediately crippled by his absence. Or how you were starting to recognize your reflection in the mirror again though it still made you cringe at how empty your eyes looked.
At first, all of the guys would text you with updates or to ask how you were doing but their conversations became more infrequent until it was only Jay that reached out. He told you that Gray was taking things harder than he let on. That he had scrapped and rewritten the song he had been working on with Tiffany but when the time came to release it, Gray wanted no recognition. The song carried the bitter taste of memory and Gray was happy to cut his losses and be done with it.
You stood in the kitchen waiting for the coffee to brew. The mornings were getting colder so you wrapped yourself in a hug to keep warm and inhaled the cologne that still lingered on your pajama shirt. It was one of the shirts that Gray had left behind. A plain black t-shirt that could have been mistaken for anyone’s apart from the smell. You couldn’t bring yourself to wash it just yet.
You felt a lump form in your throat, a precursor to another crying spell, and you shook your head to clear your mind. Instead you pulled out your phone to scroll through the last texts you’d received from Jay.
He shouldn’t do that to himself.
I know but he’s not right right now. - Jay
Tell me he’s going to be okay.
He will be but he needs time. I shouldn’t even be talking to you anymore. - Jay
I love you, girl - Jay
Love you too.
Yeah? - Jay
Take care of him.
I always do. - Jay
That was all you were going to get out of him. It hurt but you knew he had already been too generous. You put the phone face down on the counter so you could rummage for some breakfast. The bagels were getting close to stale but you judged that you could still salvage them by toasting them twice so you popped one in the toaster.
It had been a long time since you didn’t turn the television on as soon as you woke up. You hated how silent the apartment had become so you almost always had noise. This morning, however, you wanted to try having silence again just to see how it felt and it didn’t take you long to realize that you didn’t like it. So you turned on the neglected radio before you filled your coffee cup only to freeze when you heard the DJ’s voice.
“And now we have your number one song of the hour: Heartbreak Hotel by Tiffany!”
You screamed at yourself to turn it off, that you weren’t ready to hear it just yet, but the melody drew you in before you could react.
“Your eyes that see the end
Shakes me endlessly
Tangles me up
Has time come that I can’t make up?
This painful feeling, stop I can’t hide it”
You were shaking after the first stanza but you made yourself listen to every line that she sang because you knew they were Gray’s words. It was like he was speaking to you for the first time since the fight and it was paralyzing. You didn’t know whether to cry or throw your coffee mug at the wall. In truth, you didn’t have anything left in you. You were spent. The only thing you knew was that there was no going back now.
So you got ready to face another day at work and as you locked the front door you wondered when this would all start feeling like a dream. You didn’t want the chaos that came with dating a celebrity or to be surrounded by a group so devoted to their work that it always made you feel out of your depth. You needed more in control of your life than that. You wanted to stand strong on your own two feet without the fear of falling. You wanted to just be normal.