It had been weeks. Weeks without seeing you, and it killed him. He missed every last centimeter of you; your soft skin and vivacious e/c eyes that he loved so much about you now haunted him. The young idol was absolutely crushed, no matter how much he tried to play off the break up that had broken him. Maybe it was the fact that he was the root of the problem, the source of all of this pain, that had Youngjae brushing off your name as if brushing off dust from a jacket.
But it was nights like these that caused him to dwell unpleasantly on you and the last moments he had with you. The last words that he had spewed out to you in a brutal flash of fury, and the resulting aftermath that broke him like no injury ever could.
“You don’t love me, and you know it, Youngjae,” you uttered calmly and resolutely. Even though you had your fists clenched tight enough to turn white and were trembling all over, your words were delivered with a deadly certainty.
“You make it hard to even try to love you sometimes, Y/N!” Youngjae shouted, his tone far from your calm. You turned your back to him at those words, trying your best to keep your composure. Sobs threatened to bubble over, but your anger and crushing sadness gave you the ability to rein in the emotions. Behind your back, Youngjae was cursing to himself.
“This is exactly what the problem is: you know you don’t love me, but should I ever confront you about something like that, you flip out. It’s ridiculous, Youngjae,” you murmured to the wall, your voice breaking on his name. That was the truth; you loved him way more than he ever would, and you were punished for doing so. But you confronted Youngjae with one goal, and that was to end the pain that stretched between them like a bridge. Burn the bridge, end the pain. Simple.
“Here we go again,” Youngjae laughed mirthlessly. “‘Oh! I love him more! He will never love me as much as I love him!’” he mocked in a high falsetto.
You spun to face him, unshed tears creating a glassy sheen over your crystalline eyes. “So you see the problem too then? The imbalance?” you demanded, with a watery smile fixed over her face.
Youngjae’s face crumpled when he saw what his words had done to you. He ran a hand through his dark locks, and rubbed his face in the same hand. “No, Y/N, God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t me-”
“If you can see the problem, and all you do is mock it, I think we’re done here,” you nodded, a single tear slipping over her flushed face. You stooped to pick up a packed duffel bag that lay beside your feet and rose, slinging the bag over your shoulder. “Goodbye, Youngjae.” The slamming of the door echoed through the room, and with you went all of his hope.
Since then, the once lively member of GOT7 was the slowest of all. He stopped trying once he had pushed one of the most important people in his life away. After all, there was nothing for him any more. So he stopped using his smiling unless absolutely necessary. He stopped eating, and moving, and all things needed for life, practically wasting away, over his stupidity. His self-hatred was manageable until the night, when his thoughts would attack him relentlessly, starving him of sleep.
Which was why he was just sprawled on his bed on that night, just listening to the rain patter against the window, hoping that some miracle could occur and his tired eyes would be granted some respite. The thoughts that once stung him now just thudded against the back of his eyelids like rocks, still hurting, but not as sharply. This would be as close as he could get to sleep, he knew, so he was immeasurably surprised when three rapid knocks sounded against his door. With a groan, he dragged his body off of the bed, already cussing at Jaebum for trying to help him again-
“Hi, Youngjae,” you smiled, your lower lip wobbling slightly. In that moment, Youngjae wanted to do nothing more than to crush you to his body and never let you leave again, but instead he stood there dumbly, his brown eyes widening at the sight of the rain-drenched miracle standing before him. “Jaebum called me, and told me how bad it was for you, and that he knew it was only worse for me. So I came here to maybe tell you-”
Your sentence hung unfinished as Youngjae crushed his lips to yours, making a mental note to praise Jaebum forever for bringing his heart back to him. You stood stonily for a moment, before unfreezing and winding your rain dampened arms around Youngjaes’s neck, pulling yourself into the kiss. He drew away, panting, and stroked your cheek with the back of his hand. “I don’t know what you want to tell me, but I need to tell you something: I love you. Maybe I never showed it right, maybe I was just scared, but I love you with every bit of me. When you said that you loved me more, I just got angry, and I said what I did, but I never really meant them. Y/N, if you’ll have me, I want you back, I need you, nothing’s been the same-”
Your lips cut him off this time, gentler, but still full of the same fire. “Then we’re on the same page.”
I’m kinda just clearing off names from a list and stories I’ve had done for a while. Apologies, but I’ll get to the requests asap.
May 3 2015 -
Several thousand people, mostly from Israel’s Jewish Ethiopian minority, protested in Tel Aviv against racism and police brutality, shutting down a major highway and clashing with police on horseback long into the night.