brutal-flash

3

dread // theo raeken

summary ; in which the dread doctors make their attempt to rid y/n of life because she’s the only person theo cares about, and therefore, is a major distraction and an immense weakness. [110817]

warnings ; violence, torture, swearing, angst, breif mentions of physical after effects, self-blame

word count  ; 3.2k

masterlist

stay safe + ily 🎨

You awoke to a bright, white light glaring down onto your pale features and the grating sound of heavy, rough movement surrounding your sluggish body. Your head pounded profusely against your dainty skull and it only hammered harder when you opened your weary eyes ajar, the action leaving you momentarily stunned due to the blinding rays of the lamp situated in the direct route of your face. 

A quiet groan slipped past your chapped lips, and you made a failing attempt to aid your thundering headache by bringing your hand up and blocking out the harsh flare of light. But, when you felt your limbs being captured and held hostage by the material of cold leather, abrupt panic swelled up within your being. 

You tilted your head up slightly, blinking slow and gradual into the void of your surroundings to help your blinded vision. A few agonising moments later, and you found yourself discovering, to your horror, that you were bound to the chilled, hard steel of a metal table, like a lab rat waiting for its impending death - waiting to be mercilessly tested on. 

With laboured, panicked breath, you snapped your head from side to side with eyes wide encased by fear in desperate hopes of catching a glimpse of something that would ease the panic pressing relentlessly on your chest. Nothing. The room was eclipsed by inky shadows; it was dark and damp, various wires weaving across the dank floors and tall, ample tubes towering in the corners of the rooms, murky liquids floating within them. 

What happened? How did you end up here? The memories beforehand seemed utterly blurry; you recalled trundling to your car after spending two gruelling hours of your time stuck in detention for forgetting your Chemistry homework. 

It was dark, the light days coming to an early end as the winter season progressed and let the darkness of the evening consume the sun prematurely. The quiet wisps of your name breathed out by the bitter wind slipped past your eardrums and your legs came to an abrupt halt, your eyes cautiously scanning the shadowed car park for anything suspicious. 

Then, the familiar robotic sounds hit your senses: the clicks, the whirrs, the radio static. Three figures appeared, three men in heavy masks of metal, all of them repeating your name in croaky, broken voices and their soulless eyes boring into the heart of your being. 

You had reached for your car handle hastily with a frantic gasp, but one had snatched you with a ruthless grip and shoved your stiff body into the side of your car. Another diabolically clutched a syringe adequate with a vibrant, glowing white liquid, and brought the needle down into the stressed vein in your neck - no remorse hidden in its void eyes as you thrashed around under its iron grip. 

“You are his weakness. Annihilation is impending.”

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Protector (Peter Parker x Reader)

Originally posted by sincerelysaraahh

Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

*Please don’t plagiarize my work, thank you :3*

Summary: You’d never thought of Peter as the kind to starts fights at school but here he was, sitting beside you on the cold floor of a supply closet, bleeding and bruised.

Warnings: Blood, violence (a fight, basically), Sad!Peter. 

Word Count: 2,236


You were picked up your textbooks and notebooks, hugging them to your chest and walked briskly out of the classroom. It had been a long and terribly boring school day, as most school days were at the end of the year. The popular guys were pissing off the teachers and talking loudly, the more fashionable girls were Snap-chatting in class, and the teachers were fed up with everyone but still sane enough to give out detention slips. You balanced your binders on your knee while trying to open your locker as quickly as possible, eager to get on the bus to go home. It was Friday, and school was ending next week, much to everyone’s relief. A text from Peter just minutes before had left you in good spirits; he asked to come over like always for a Friday night movie marathon with Michelle and Ned, set with popcorn, ice cream and junk food of every kind. Stuffing things into your backpack and slamming the locker shut, you started down the hallway. The loud chatter from other students passing you gradually got more quiet as people in the very front of the school grew deadly still and began to crowd around something, blocking the entire hall. Whispers and muttering broke out, students everywhere desperate to get to the front where pushing and shoving your small form. Suddenly, a loud, collective gasp came from somewhere in front, followed by laughter and something being banged against what could only be a locker. You huffed loudly, just wanting to get to the buses until-

“Parker, Parker, Parker…” The students in the front chanted, jeering even louder now. Your eyes widened and the breath left your lungs. You shoved people aside, ignoring their grumbles and cursing to break into the inner circle. Another loud metal bang echoed, almost drowned by the loud laughter. Charging through row after row of high schoolers, you ignored the sharp jabs to your stomach from different restless kids. Maybe it isn’t him. You think, already knowing the answer. C’mon Peter, please don’t tell me it’s you out there. Reaching the inner circle, you desperately tried to squeeze between the line of tall guys that stood in front. You duck down, finding a little crack between the wall of jocks to look though. Sure enough, Peter’s beat up sneakers were just visible as he was pushed backwards against the line of lockers.

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I want to scream ~Stiles Stillinski~

Summary: You have a panic attack, struggle to suppress your banshee powers and have flashes of your family’s death due to a trigger that send you spiralling downwards but Stiles helps you. 

Pairings: StilesxReader

Warnings: The reader is said to be having a panic attack so if this is a trigger for you happily scroll past. 

Note: Not my gifs. Credit goes to the owner. 

You dropped your books on the floor as your hands froze up to your finger tips. Stiles eyes locked with yours a few lockers away from you. Scott standing next to him staring at what had just happened but Stiles knew immediately and it didn’t take Scott long before he registered what was going on. 

“Be careful- you and Scott’s pack. I’m coming for you. The human is first.” Theo’s voice rung in your head, “You know what happened to your family last time you got in my way” 

It stung and Stiles noticed to late what Theo had done.

Then the backslashes to your family’s demise and brutal deaths flashed in your head in between each flash Stiles etched closer with Scott shortly behind him. You were sure Stiles was calling your name, or even Scott but the only thing that filled your head was the brutal screams of your parents and younger sibling. Then your mother’s final scream echoed through your head, slicing at your brain and eardrums like a razor. The one that is only used for destruction. 

The scream stuck in your throat- you bit your lip till you started tasting blood. ‘Stop’ you screamed at yourself, wanting to force the images out of your head. ‘It’s the past, its over, its not happening.’ You clenched your fists not wanting to draw to much attention to yourself in the hallway but noting helped and the nauseated feeling of holding the scream back hit you like a wave. 

Your chest tightened as if someone gripped it with immense force and you wished the whirring and clicking of the dread doctors would seize. With eyes clenched closed you opened your mouth to utter one cry of help. 

“Stiles!” you tried but it became a little more audible than you expected it to be but within moments of you uttering his name. Warm arms hands found your hands. You immediately relaxed the whirring and clicking not seizing. The scream still audible. 

“Stiles I want to scream,” you whispered, eyes still clenched close for fear of seeing the dread doctors. 

“Open your eyes, Y/N” you heard Stiles’ voice. You shook your head but he quickly gripped your head between his hands. “I’ve got you Y/N, open your eyes.” and with those last words your eyes shot open filling with tears instantly. Stiles’ came into vision his hands shaking, Scott stood behind him with your books in his hand. He was tugging on Stiles’ shoulder. 

“I want to scream Stiles.” you said your lips forming a tight straight line, surprising the inner banshee of yours. You hadn’t even realised your breathing had resulted to short and shallow and quick inhalations and exhalations. 

“Locker room, Stiles. Go, now!” Scott’s voice crashed into your head clearing some of the whirring and clicking of the dread doctors but the scream still persisted and when you saw the slight blood traces on Stile’s hands you knew that your ears were bleeding. 

Stiles had managed to pull you into the locker room, locking it behind you to ensure no one comes in to see you in this state. 

“I think I’m having a panic attack.” you breathed suddenly noticing your breathing had seized for a few seconds. “The screaming it won’t stop. Oh shit Stiles it hurst so much.” you breathed and He wrapped his arm around you resting his chin on your head. You clenched onto him. 

“Listen to my voice. Keep focusing on my voice. Okay? Remember Scott’s always trying to teach Liam to find an anchor? Maybe its just like that with being a banshee. You need to find something to hold on to and to help you. So just keep listening to me. I mean- I know its not the best voice to listen to but. Yeah, I hope it will do. It has to. Scott’s going to find Deaton or Parrish. So I don’t know. So they can make you okay again. So you won’t be hurting this much.” Stiles spoke rambling you feeling a slight shake from his hand that was combing your hair out of your face. 

“Stiles, breathing. Voice is gone. I can’t breath.” you hissed through clenched teeth. He pulled himself away from you. He smiled meekly at you, 

“You did it, Y/N. You controlled it.” he smiled. You forced a tired smile but your hand flew to your chest once again. 

“Hey look at me.” he whispered, you forced your eyes to him. 

“You can breath, just follow my lead. Okay?” he smiled and you nodded as hand got entangled in yours. He took a hefty inhale and you did the same. Then he squinted his eyes holding it in for a few seconds to long and then a rupture of laughter exhaling. You doing the same. Continuing with this a few seconds longer. 

“See you can totally breath normally. Just takes practise for such a dork like you.” he chimed, his hand squeezing yours. You smiled the dull ache still sitting in your head, ears and chest but it being bearable. 

“Thank you, it was Theo and I-” you tried to explain but Stiles shook his head. 

“Theo is going to get it from me and my bat after Scott dealt with him a little.” Stiles stated and you nodded not really wanting to argue with him or much rather not defend Theo. Stiles had slowly helped you up, being careful for another dizzy spell to hit you. 

You walked slowly towards the locker room’s exit. Stiles arm around you your arm around his neck. 

“We need to clean you up,” Stiles stated as he unlocked the door., your headache increasing. You nodded slowly the door swinging open to reveal Scott, Deaton and Parrish. You smiled weakly at them as Deaton immediately surveyed your bloody ears. 

“Screaming?” Deaton questioned as you all moved back into the locker rooms.

“You mean other than the usual?” you questioned as your headache sliced at the back of your eyes. Seaton laughed slightly as Stiles pranced worriedly behind him and Parrish and Scott leaned against the lockers. 

“Mum’s one is gone.” you breathed and Stiles stiffened but continued worriedly walking up and down behind Deaton. 

“Just a piercing headache.” you admitted and he nodded once again. 

“Parrish, I don’t think we need you to suppress any of her screams. She looks to me like she’s forming a migraine and her banshee powers are being suppressed for now through the migraine.” Deaton confirmed. 

Parrish nodded, “Gave us a hell of a scare there, Y/N.” he remarked trying his best to lift the mood but you returned a slight smile. “Call me if anything else changes” Parrish said to Stiles and he nodded nervously. 

“What do we do now?” Stiles questioned Deaton as Scott came to sit next to you. 

“You take her home, get her to sleep most off the migraine away. And keep Theo away from her.” Deaton ordered and Stiles nodded. Scott walked with Deaton as Stiles slung both yours and his backpack onto his back. 

“Stiles- I can carry my own bag.” you defended but he helped you up. 

“Y/N Just shut up, and let me take care of you.” 

anonymous asked:

Bakugou having an crush that is good at MMA and he loves to spar with since they're strong and he can really go ham, but he ends up accidentally hurting them when he thought they'd dodge?

Oooo, Kacchan is so popular. I hope you enjoy it. 


You had the perfect Quirk for Bakugou: Counter, the ability to reflect attacks aimed at you back at the attacker. You are also quite the physical match for Bakugou. With three tournaments and several medals under your belt during your MMA career, you definitely are not a light weight in the ring. Honestly, it’s probably the reason Bakugou likes you so much. You are tough, someone he can go all out against. He never has to hold back with you. Oh, and you are kinda cute. But that has nothing to do with it.

You are the perfect match for Bakugou … as a sparring partner because he definitely did not have a crush on you.

“Spacing out, Bakugou?” You yell, landing a kick square in his chest, “You don’t have time for that with me.”

You take his arm and try to flip him over your back. Bakugou growls, using an explosion to force you to let go. You release him, but Bakugou doesn’t let you gain any distance. He hits you with another brutal eruption. Flashing your palms at him, you absorb the impact before sending your own explosion back to him. He dodges the attack. You use the surrounding smoke as a screen, sneaking up behind Bakugou. He instinctively moves out of the way and grabs your leg.

“Nice try, angel face,” Bakugou growls, throwing you into the ground.

Before your back hits the dirt, you place your hands over the shoulder and push off the ground, propelling yourself back to your feet. Bakugou licks his lips. Sparring with you is always so much fucking fun. You are the only person who can actually give him a fucking challenge. He rushes you, rearing his arm back for his signature right hook. You should be able to dodge it. You should’ve at least been able to use Counter to send it back. But your feet trip on a piece of broken ground. And Bakugou is still coming.

Shit.

You are hit point blank with one of his strongest attacks. Your body is flung back like a rag doll. Tumbling backwards, you roll on the ground limply before your back smacks against a wall. Bakugou grins as he waits for you to stand again and return the favor as you normally did. But you aren’t getting up … and you aren’t even moving.

“C’mon, (Name), stop playing around and get the fuck up.”

Nothing. Your body is lying slack. Are you even breathing? Bakugou heart hammers. Fuck. He runs up to your side, bringing you into his arms. Your head lolls back and your eyes are closed. Bakugou checks your pulse. A heart beat. Good. At least, he didn’t kill you.

“Dammit, you asshole,” you groan as consciousness finds you, “That fucking hurt.”

“Shit, (Name), I … I didn’t think, I mean I thought—”

You are suddenly laughing as you finally regain your breath. Bakugou furrows his brow. Are you fucking with him? Was he actually worried about your dumb ass? He immediately drops you and stands up. You sit up, rubbing your arms and smiling at Bakugou through the grime on your face.

“Just know I’m gonna return the favor. With interest.”

You hold your hand out, waiting for Bakugou to take it. He rolls his eyes before helping you to your feet.

“Tch, I’m fucking counting on it.”

byulyi  asked:

prompt: byulyi loves her videogames and when she gets the newest tekken or whatever she PLAYS IT FOR DAYS and yong is so pissed that she insists on playing vs. her to get her to stop and then wrecks her and byul is so ????

Byulyi gets obsessive. Yongsun usually likes that part of her, if only because she looks really hot when she’s concentrating. This however, is too much.

There’s nothing hot about Byulyi on her third day sitting on the couch without a shower, hair a bit tussled, glasses sliding off her nose, eyes glued to the TV screen. Actually, it was a little hot, but Yongsun was still annoyed. Byulyi didn’t even come to bed until 3am last night because she was on that new game she got.

Yongsun didn’t know how she could stay entertained when it just looked like all the other fighting games, but when she asked about it, Byulyi just went into a long lecture about how no, there’s actually a very complicated story that I can tell you about, and it starts with this character right here, the one with his face burned off and

She’d checked out then. Byulyi kept going for who knows how long, but the girl was into the story enough that Yongsun started playing Sudoku on her phone and Byulyi just kept rambling.

But today, enough was enough. Yongsun was having a really good hair day, face day, makeup day, everything day, and they were going out whether Mr. Burned-Face succeeded in destroying the world or not. She walked right between Byul and the TV and planted her feet, trying to look firm.

Byulyi immediately paused the game and looked up at her girlfriend. Yongsun had done this enough that Byulyi didn’t really get ruffled, she just perpetually had her finger floating over pause whenever Yongsun entered her peripherals.

“What’s up, babe?” 

Oh no, she pulled the ‘babe’ card, but Yongsun was going to stand her ground. She was already dressed. She had looked up somewhere to go. She was not going to go down without a fight. Someone was going to win today, and today?

Today, Yongsun was just too cute to lose.

“Byul, you’ve been on this thing for three days.” She pouted for maximum effect. “I’m feeling a little neglected.”

“Ah! I’m sorry Unnie, do you want to come sit with me?” There it is. Byulyi was trying to get this to go her way by being sweet. Her open arms looked really inviting though…No! Yongsun had found the perfect place for them to spend their day and by god she was going to get there.

“Let’s go out, Byul, it’s really nice today.” She smoothed the dress she was wearing, a blaring signal to Byulyi that yes, it’s also because I feel pretty today.

“I’m…I’m almost done with this storyline though, really…” Byulyi bit her lip and looked between Yongsun and the pause screen. Mr. Burned-Face had just found his long-thought dead second cousin, the semi-boss to the mini-boss that would unlock the final fight. Probably.

“That means at least four more hours Byul.” She sat next to the girl, pulling her eye towards her. “I want to go out while the sun’s still shining.” And I’m still shining, she thought.

“Not four.” Byulyi reached for her controller. “Maybe like two and a half since I’ve gotten pretty good.”

“No!” Yongsun grabbed her hands and let her mouth run wild, the usual case when she got frustrated. “If you’re so good, then you don’t need to be playing anymore! Actually if you’re so good let’s make a bet.” Byulyi stared at her wide-eyed at the sudden challenge. “Let’s do a battle, or whatever that fighting thing is. You can do that right? Let’s do that. If I lose I’ll let you finish in peace but if I win you have to listen to whatever I want and also you won’t be good at this game. You’ll be bad.” She paused. “You’ve been bad.” Yongsun pouted.

Byulyi chuckled at Yongsun’s outburst, but she relented. The sooner she beat Yongsun at the game, the sooner she could go back to finishing the plot. And then her mind wouldn’t itch from curiosity anymore and she could devote all her time to her girlfriend again. But looking at the sad mochi in front of her…

Yongsun really did look so beautiful today.

“Alright Unnie. Here, take this controller.” She said, handing Yongsun the one she had set on table earlier.

“Isn’t this one yours?”

“Don’t worry, I can connect another one.” She opened the cabinet and held up another controller, giving Yongsun a cute smile. She turned it on and a little notification appeared at the top of the screen saying ‘Player 2 connected’. 

“Here lemme set up a game real fast.” She took back the gamepad in Yongsun’s hands and went through the menus so fast, Yongsun didn’t even see the screens.

“Don’t I get to pick a character?” She asked as the controller was handed back to her.

“What, so you can lose in style?” Byulyi smirked picking up the second gamepad.

“You’ll eat those words, Moon Byulyi.”

“Sure, sure. You’re the pink strawberry looking thing.” Yongsun looked at her avatar bouncing up and down, looking real angry. The top of the screen had the name RAWBERRY over a green line. Was that her health bar? Well, whatever, she guessed it was kind of cute.

“So I just use these to move?” She fiddled with the twirly sticks in her hands. Byulyi couldn’t stop grinning at how cute Yongsun looked, trying to figure things out.

She listed out all the button combinations and special attacks the character had and Yongsun of course listened to all the way and retained all that information.

Oh, the button with an ‘X’ on it, not the one that was shaped like an ‘X’.

-

10 minutes later Byulyi was getting her ass handed to her.

“Oh my god what am I doing what am I doing—did I just do that?”

“Yes! You did! STOP IT!!!”

“Oh my gosh Byul why are you just running around and punching that air?”

“Because you won’t stop combo-ing me! And I’m trying to prep for an attack that you keep interrupting! How are you doing that?!”

“I’m just smashing buttons. Oh what did I just do?”

Byulyi stared soullessly at the screen. “You’re about to take my last life…” Her Robot Centaur was swaying in front of Rawberry and the button combo for a Brutal KO flashed on the screen. Yongsun fumbled around with the controls.

“Um, wait where is the triangle shaped one…”

Byulyi watched the Brutal KO timer drain down just like her will was draining out of her. She hit some buttons on her own controller and suddenly Rawberry’s seeds launched out of its body, turning into hundreds of needles and effectively turning Robot Centaur into a horsecupine.

“Did I do that? How did I do that?” Solar asked excitedly, despite grimacing at the violent scene.

Byulyi shrugged and sighed, “Um, sometimes it just plays the scene even if you don’t hit all the buttons.” She took off her glasses and rubbed her tired eyes. “Kim Yongsun you are truly incredible. Why don’t you go get the rest of your stuff ready? I’ll turn off the TV and take a quick shower. Yong-princess and I can do whatever she wants for the rest of today.”

Yongsun squealed and gave Byulyi a quick peck on her cheek. “Thank you, Byul-ah.” She gave her another kiss before jumping up to find the rest of her things.

Byulyi smiled at how her girlfriend skipped around, too elated to notice the victory screen on the TV. Under Rawberry a banner rolled out with ‘PLAYER 2’ painted on it.

Byulyi really did want to finish the plot today, but she probably needed that shower.

And well, Yongsun was just too cute to lose.

Can I offer you a wholesome fic rec in these trying times?

Whelp I guess this is a good time to promote the angsty Keith fics I’ve been writing since day one, where Keith is struggling and hurt and in need of love and hugs (That’s my jam for him tbh).

Hey Angel

You’re the red paladin for pete’s sake, you can do anything…You’re cocky and reckless and you annoy me to no end, but holy cheese I love you.”

-

(A lot can happen in the span of three days.

Lance learns life is fragile and treasures it more, especially when it belongs to a dark-eyed boy who has never been loved.)


Wolves

Keith’s hands shook, and for a second he allowed himself to give in to weakness, slumping forward so his upper body rested on Red’s dashboard. His eyes slipped closed, and immediately he was assaulted with a brutal wave - flashes of laser blasts and screams, the violent jolting of his lion in combat, tiny droplets of blood flying off his sword…

“Keith?”

(Keith has a hard time calming
down after battles)


Glass Houses

His hands itch to strike, to crush, and his Galra blade sits heavily on his belt, begging to be grabbed and sunk deep into something, anything, that could pay for this. He has the urge to destroy everything in sight, and though his legs burn from running he has to move, to break and tear until something is fixed, until someone understood.

(Keith is afraid, but Lance’s arms are safe)

Pages [Youngjae Angst?]

Originally posted by derezzedgem

It had been weeks. Weeks without seeing you, and it killed him. He missed every last centimeter of you; your soft skin and vivacious e/c eyes that he loved so much about you now haunted him. The young idol was absolutely crushed, no matter how much he tried to play off the break up that had broken him. Maybe it was the fact that he was the root of the problem, the source of all of this pain, that had Youngjae brushing off your name as if brushing off dust from a jacket.

But it was nights like these that caused him to dwell unpleasantly on you and the last moments he had with you. The last words that he had spewed out to you in a brutal flash of fury, and the resulting aftermath that broke him like no injury ever could.

“You don’t love me, and you know it, Youngjae,” you uttered calmly and resolutely. Even though you had your fists clenched tight enough to turn white and were trembling all over, your words were delivered with a deadly certainty.

“You make it hard to even try to love you sometimes, Y/N!” Youngjae shouted, his tone far from your calm. You turned your back to him at those words, trying your best to keep your composure. Sobs threatened to bubble over, but your anger and crushing sadness gave you the ability to rein in the emotions. Behind your back, Youngjae was cursing to himself.

“This is exactly what the problem is: you know you don’t love me, but should I ever confront you about something like that, you flip out. It’s ridiculous, Youngjae,” you murmured to the wall, your voice breaking on his name. That was the truth; you loved him way more than he ever would, and you were punished for doing so. But you confronted Youngjae with one goal, and that was to end the pain that stretched between them like a bridge. Burn the bridge, end the pain. Simple.

Or not.

“Here we go again,” Youngjae laughed mirthlessly. “‘Oh! I love him more! He will never love me as much as I love him!’” he mocked in a high falsetto.

You spun to face him, unshed tears creating a glassy sheen over your crystalline eyes. “So you see the problem too then? The imbalance?” you demanded, with a watery smile fixed over her face.

Youngjae’s face crumpled when he saw what his words had done to you. He ran a hand through his dark locks, and rubbed his face in the same hand. “No, Y/N, God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t me-”

“If you can see the problem, and all you do is mock it, I think we’re done here,” you nodded, a single tear slipping over her flushed face. You stooped to pick up a packed duffel bag that lay beside your feet and rose, slinging the bag over your shoulder. “Goodbye, Youngjae.” The slamming of the door echoed through the room, and with you went all of his hope.

Since then, the once lively member of GOT7 was the slowest of all. He stopped trying once he had pushed one of the most important people in his life away. After all, there was nothing for him any more. So he stopped using his smiling unless absolutely necessary. He stopped eating, and moving, and all things needed for life, practically wasting away, over his stupidity. His self-hatred was manageable until the night, when his thoughts would attack him relentlessly, starving him of sleep.

Which was why he was just sprawled on his bed on that night, just listening to the rain patter against the window, hoping that some miracle could occur and his tired eyes would be granted some respite. The thoughts that once stung him now just thudded against the back of his eyelids like rocks, still hurting, but not as sharply. This would be as close as he could get to sleep, he knew, so he was immeasurably surprised when three rapid knocks sounded against his door. With a groan, he dragged his body off of the bed, already cussing at Jaebum for trying to help him again-

“Hi, Youngjae,” you smiled, your lower lip wobbling slightly. In that moment, Youngjae wanted to do nothing more than to crush you to his body and never let you leave again, but instead he stood there dumbly, his brown eyes widening at the sight of the rain-drenched miracle standing before him. “Jaebum called me, and told me how bad it was for you, and that he knew it was only worse for me. So I came here to maybe tell you-”

Your sentence hung unfinished as Youngjae crushed his lips to yours, making a mental note to praise Jaebum forever for bringing his heart back to him. You stood stonily for a moment, before unfreezing and winding your rain dampened arms around Youngjaes’s neck, pulling yourself into the kiss. He drew away, panting, and stroked your cheek with the back of his hand. “I don’t know what you want to tell me, but I need to tell you something: I love you. Maybe I never showed it right, maybe I was just scared, but I love you with every bit of me. When you said that you loved me more, I just got angry, and I said what I did, but I never really meant them. Y/N, if you’ll have me, I want you back, I need you, nothing’s been the same-”

Your lips cut him off this time, gentler, but still full of the same fire. “Then we’re on the same page.”


I’m kinda just clearing off names from a list and stories I’ve had done for a while. Apologies, but I’ll get to the requests asap.

-Admin A

Weekly Voltron Fic Recs #19

Rules: You can find past rec lists here. This is stuff I like, and I have a huge bias toward Lance, hurt/comfort, and general fluff, in that order. Gen unless otherwise noted. Please comment on the fics if you read and enjoy them!

Welp, this will be the last rec list before Season 2. I feel like a tornado is coming. Time to hide in the cellar and batten down the hatches. We’ll see what survives the storm, including my heart.

happy birthday, hope it’s out of this world by brosura
Words:  5,866
Author’s Summary:  Everyone’s acting very unusual around Hunk today, and he can’t think of a reason why. People keep giving him things, Pidge and Coran are strangely anxious to keep him away from part of the castle, and strangest of all, he hasn’t seen Lance even once.
My Comments: This is sweetest thing. Everyone’s gifts to Hunk very lovely and sentimental, and somehow he DOESN’T CATCH ON. This made me grin through the entire thing, and Lance’s gift was the sweetest of all.

An Aftermath of Sorts by wolfsan11
Words: 2,451
Author’s Summary: Shiro forgets sometimes that Allura is a princess in all the ways that no one would wish to be. That she is a princess born into happiness but brought up alongside a war, that she is a princess who had once known her enemy as a favored guest in her kingdom. He forgets sometimes that her strength is hard-won and bitter, and entirely her own.—In the aftermath of the corrupt wormhole, Shiro seeks out Allura.
My Comments: This is well-written and sad, and really highlights how strong and protective both of them are. Also, paladin cuddle pile.

Reconnaissance by mumblefox
Words: 5,680
Author’s Summary: They’d gotten Sendak off the castle, and everyone should feel safe again. Thing was, they didn’t. But they had time, now, to fix what they could, and Pidge had a plan that would help.
My Comments: APPARENTLY this is the first of a series and there is going to be MORE? By some of the BEST GEN WRITES in the FANDOM? Holy crap, y’all, we are blessed. This fic is amazing. Climb on board or the train will take off without you.

Trials Before the Dead by birdzilla
Words: 3,139 (WIP 1/7)
Author’s Summary: When the paladins land on an alien planet looking for refuge, they’re instead brought to trial by the natives for the deaths of innocent Galra prisoners. Shiro attempts to take on the burden of guilt for the rest of the paladins and ends up on a spiritual journey through his paladins’ trials-by-ordeal, depending on the strength of their bond to carry him through.
My Comments: What an absolutely terrific concept, and the writing is super great. I am on tenterhooks for more.

And I Lie Awake And Miss You by Leonawriter
Words: 753
Author’s Summary: Lance finds Allura by accident, kept awake by his own fears after the way the day had gone. Lance is just too stubborn and too unwilling to let things lie when she’s clearly still upset. Not that he can blame her.
My Comments: Short, sweet, and sad. I love platonic Allura and Lance interaction. They both miss their families.

A Moment of Respite by To_Shiki
Words: 1,341
Author’s Summary: The other Paladins get Shiro to relax after post-battle exhaustion wears off.
My Comments: Yes, good. Let him rest. Everyone takes care of Shiro, and this is really the only way he can let his guard down.

All There (In a Way) by Skalidra
Words: 2,410
Author’s Summary: When Shiro wakes, after his crash-landing back on Earth, he’s strapped down onto a table, three people hovering over him in full quarantine suits. But he remembers every moment of the year he’s been gone, and he’s been Champion for far too long to be alright with being restrained, let alone being sedated.
My Comments: Shiro with all his memories of struggling for survival in the arena is SAVAGE. This is a darker take on that first encounter back on Earth, but it absolutely makes sense. 

Wolves by Utsukushin (UserFromPluto)
Words: 2,498
Author’s Summary: Keith’s hands shook, and for a second he allowed himself to give in to weakness, slumping forward so his upper body rested on Red’s dashboard. His eyes slipped closed, and immediately he was assaulted with a brutal wave - flashes of laser blasts and screams, the violent jolting of his lion in combat, tiny droplets of blood flying off his sword… “Keith?” (Keith has a hard time calming down after battles)
My Comments: Stressed-out, hyper-vigilant Keith is really well-written and vivid, and the team’s concerted effort to surround him and make him feel safe again is lovely. 

No Martyrdom Allowed by IntelligentAirhead
Words: 3,442
Author’s Summary: Hunk tries very hard to help their friends. It would go a lot easier if they weren’t so self-sacrificial, but considering the extenuating circumstances of an entire galaxy depending on them, it’s understandable. That doesn’t mean Hunk’s going to give up on suggesting healthier coping mechanisms or opening avenues for conversation, though. Especially when Allura is so insistent on putting her grief aside and charging ahead
My Comments: Hunk and Allura interaction! How rare and beautiful. I really love this version of Hunk, so rambly and sweet, but stubborn when need be.

Think Before He Cheats by 15Strawberries
Words: 1,232
Author’s Summary: Hunk likes country music. Specifically, scorned woman country music. His friends are concerned.
My Comments: And this is just adorable. Everyone loves Hunk, as well they should.

No Chill Zone by JamtheDingus
Words: 3,070
Author’s Summary: It’s Hunk’s birthday! Lance and Pidge planned something special, just for their favorite boy.—“Pidge, seatbelt!” Hunk shrieked, narrowly avoiding a collision. She blew a raspberry directly into his ear before she plopped back into her seat, loudly clicking her seatbelt.“I thought you only listened to country music.” Lance says, as if the words physically repulse him.“Don’t make me bring up your song choices, Mister ‘Naruto Opening 7 Is In My Playlist Eight Times In A Row’.” She huffed.
My Comments: College AU. This is a fun, funny, and relaxing fic. It’s nice to see these three just hanging out and enjoying each other’s company.

Pride by Eghfeithrean
Words: 3,485
Author’s Summary: The lions reflect on their respective Paladins following the events of episode 11, and prepare for what lies in store for them in the future. For the Voltron Season 2 Countdown event.
My Comments: Lovely character study of the lions and their paladins.

Can’t Take the Sky From Me by isabeau25
Words: 6,586
Author’s Summary: Shiro was just trying to escape the ever expanding Galra Empire. He hadn’t planned on picking up any passengers along the way.
My Comments: I love everything about this. Cannot possibly recommend it highly enough. LITERAL space dad Shiro is excellent, and all the kids are well-drawn, if heartbreaking. Allura and Coran are a fantastic addition, and there’s a great Firefly vibe to the whole thing that really, really works. And it’s now a series! If I were you, I would subscribe and read every single thing.

Squash by isabeau25
Words: 749
Author’s Summary: Shiro is very sleepy, and his team is full of squash.
My Comments: CUUUUUTEEEE! This fic killed me. I have such a thing for sleepy paladins, and also Shiro using endearments for the younger ones. And Coran just accepts it, because humans are weird.

Infection by 5557
Words: 73,271
Author’s Summary: While exploring an alien planet, Lance is nearly killed by a mysterious monster. Now he’s convinced that he is infected with an alien sickness. Why doesn’t anyone believe him? It must be Keith’s fault. This is a horror-comedy (but like, also a romance?), and I drew pictures.
My Comments: Here, have some epic Klance hurt/comfort. It’s really well-done.

Raised By Lions by earthstar
Words: 9,640
Author’s Summary: The Galaxy Garrison ask Shiro to speak with 11 year old Keith who they believe has dangerous knowledge. As Shiro becomes attached to the kid, he has no idea just exactly what kind of trouble the boy has gotten himself into.
My Comments: I LOVE this fic and I really really really want more. Oh, and yeah, it’s almost another literal space dad Shiro. Space big brother, anyway. Because Keith needs to be adopted, like, twenty times.

One Week to Say Goodbye by squirenonny
Words: 1,986 (WIP 1/7)
Author’s Summary: After King Alfor places Allura in stasis, Coran has one week before Alfor sends Allura and Coran to Arus to await the arrival of a new generation of paladins. One week to think about everything he’s going to lose. One week to search for another solution. One week to remember. One week to say goodbye.
My Comments: Past one-sided Coran/Alfor. I almost didn’t read this fic, because I didn’t want to be sad. But this author is SO good I couldn’t help it, and now I’m really eager for more. 

Hunkaversary by Geoduck
Words: 2,168
Author’s Summary: Hunk always gives so much–and it’s time to give back. His birthday is coming.
My Comments: Another super-cute birthday fic. Hunk deserves all the hugs, and he gets them.

Love and Other Questions by squirenonny for May
Words: 10,978 (WIP 2/?)
Author’s Summary: One week after news of the Kerberos disaster broke, Pidge receives a new Mark–proof that Matt is still alive. She breaks into the Garrison to find him, only to find herself caught up in the fight for the fate of the universe. Keith keeps his arms covered so he doesn’t have to watch Shiro’s scars compounding on his skin–but doing so means cutting off contact with his romantic soulmate, who greets him each morning with a new (and terrible) pickup line.Shiro and Matt thought they were the luckiest people alive when they found out they were going to Kerberos together. But Shiro hasn’t seen Matt’s untidy scrawl on his arm in almost a year, and he has no idea if his soulmate is even still alive. [Canonverse Soulmate AU with romantic and platonic soulmates (and some gray areas in between)]
My Comments: Multiple pairings both romantic and platonic. I just love the way this author does relationships, and while I’m not usually a big fan of soulbonds, this idea is really, really intriguing. Very cool concept, well-written and well-characterized. I can’t wait for Hunk and Lance to show up.

Call it Magic by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)
Words: 5,856
Author’s Summary: Tuesdays are Hunk’s favorite. Or, at least, they’re supposed to be. A Hogwarts AU based on this fic by Buttered_onions for Hunk’s birthday.
My Comments: Really lovely day-in-the-life kind of fic. I love all the relationships and how protective everyone is of Hunk, and the world is well-integrated. Good stuff.

Piece of Goo by genericfanatic
Words: 1,207
Author’s Summary: Lance is sad and eats terrible food.
My Comments: This is an excellent portrayal of depression and UGH I just want to give Lance a hug.

No Desert For You by Mikiri
Words: 5,373
Author’s Summary: They may have won, but what happens after? Keith worries of returning to Earth and the team comforts him as best they can.
My Comments: SO sweet and comforting. Wonderful paladin pile, and I love how they just went around the room taking turns telling Keith that he’s been adopted and he’s not going back to the desert alone. Ever.

A Better Life by BlueRoboKitty
Words: 2,142
Author’s Summary: “You can have a better life.”She really, really could make it better, couldn’t she? Turn this ship around. And go back.
My Comments: Really interesting Nyma character study. Actually made feel bad for her, which is a trick, because I really don’t like her because of the way she treated Lance. (I know, I know, he kind of deserved it, and it was played for laughs, and everything turned out fine. I’m biased. I told you that.)

we sat on the edge of worlds by stelian
Words: 4,481
Author’s Summary: As far as rescue missions went, this wasn’t the worst one ever. No one was near death, none of the lions were severely damaged, they were still together, and both were in one piece. Mostly. So what if some weird electromagnetic storm was keeping them from contacting the Castle, a wave sent out by a Galra commander had deactivated Shiro’s arm, and Hunk may or may not have more than a slight concussion? At least no one was dying.The hardest part was trying to survive through the night while the temperatures continued to drop. {or; Hunk and Shiro have a bonding moment while trying not to freeze to death}
My Comments: Hunk and Shiro interaction is slowly growing to be some of my favorite. And I’m always a sucker for huddling for warmth. Just a good hurt/comfort tale.

the great (drunk & failtastic) galactic bake off by ShirosRedKnight (HalcyonWritings)
Words: 2,482
Author’s Summary: “I got it!” Lance pointed triumphantly across the sunk-in couch at Keith, who was eyeing his third glass of jumbu’v juice with a mild frown. “We should do a bake-off!”–A GBBO parody fic because why not.
My Comments: This one is hilarious. Poor Shiro. He tried.

Previously Recced Fics That Updated:

Someplace Like Home by squirenonny
The Final Act of Mercy by ptw30
Beast You’ve Made of Me by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) (now complete)
Parasite Knight by VelkynKarma
Aid by Haurvatat
Engine Won’t Turn by yet_intrepid (THIS CHAPTER MADE ME SO HAPPY)
Planet of Gold by rexlover180 (now complete)
Light Up the Dark by BajillionKittens (yay it’s back!)
Where No One Goes by earthstar
I’m Seeing Stars by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) 
Bundle in Blankets by KnightNuraStar (now complete)
He Sleeps in the Sky of Ice by jadencross

youtube

Edgey Plays Metamoqester

Seriously though: Flashing warning.  This game gets pretty brutal with the screen flashes so if you are light sensitive in anyway, just avoid this video all together.  

In Your Arms (pt. 1)

Originally posted by stormxpadme

In Your Arms (part 1)

Pairing: Father Clint x You as his badass daughter
Prompt: Can i request an Father! Clint Barton x daughter! reader where Clint gets into a hostage situation and the reader comes to save the day and gets wounded fatally but still fights and saves her dad but dies in his arms as the avengers come in, ready to yell at the reader for running off and not listening to Steve’s orders of staying behind? (oh my god, i’m sorry about the feels)
Warnings: Kidnapping, Ransons/Blackmail, Threats

     Thump, thump

    You paced around the computer room, biting your nails. It is late at night and hours passed since the Avengers were called to Germany to fight HYDRA. You tried to persuade Clint, your father, to stay back with you. And he always replied with the same answer, ’I can’t, I have to fight beside my friends. Your job as one of the executive Agents is to stay back at headquarters, safe from the enemy.’  Even though you disagree with him, you found following his orders and staying back at headquarters. You continued to march up and down the room, looking over the shoulders of the workers. The workers seemed to sense your anxiety and tensed up as they continued to operate the computers. 

    “Agent Barton?” A female voice called. You jumped and spun around, finding Agent Hill standing in front. “You’re doing it again,” she said, slightly agitated. You laughed nervously, rubbing the back of your neck. 

    “Sorry, I’m just nervous,” you mumbled. Maria rolled her eyes. 

    “Still? The Avengers have been in worse, don’t worry,” said Maria. 

    “I’ll try,” you replied as you turned away from her again and walked away. You walked up the staircase to your desk that oversaw the whole computer room. You sat down on your chair and let out a shaky sigh, drumming your fingers on the flat desktop. As you tried to calm yourself down, you watched the workers operating and squinting at their screens.  Suddenly, you felt your phone in your pocket vibrate. 

     Finally, someone to distract me, you thought to yourself as you pulled out your phone. You viewed your phone screen. 

    Dad, the screen read. You sighed in relief as you slid the slider and answered the call.

    “Hello?” You asked out loud. A few seconds of silence passed.

    “Y—Y/N?” A breathless voice asked. Your eyes widened as you shot up quickly from your chair, breathing rapidly. 

    “Dad?!” You shouted in disbelief. “What happened? Why are you calling me? Why do you sound like you’re out of breath? Oh no, something happened…" 

    "Y/N, whatever you do, don’t listen to—” your Dad said quickly before he was cut off. There was a rustle from the other end.

    “Make him shut up,” you heard a faint woman’s voice order, followed by your father’s groan. You gasped in horror.

    “Dad?!" 

    "Your daddy will be just fine Agent Barton, as long as you follow my instructions,” a woman’s voice said smoothly in your ear. Your pulse rate increased. 

    “What— who are you,” you asked, trembling. 

    “We, at HYDRA, just need a few information.  You, being one of the more high-positioned agents, must surely have what we are looking for. So let’s make this simple. You come here at Eastumberland Street in Germany in exactly three hours and give us the information. If you do, your father lives. If you don’t come— well I think you already know what happens.” Your breath hitched. 

    “Wha—what information do you want?" 

    "Oh, just the usual. Weapon plans, contacts of all of your employees, the secrets of the company,” the woman said casually.  You froze. 

    “Where are the other Avengers…?” You asked slowly, trying to catch your breath. The woman chuckled. 

    “Oh, they’re just putting up a fight with our soldiers. Now stop dilly-dallying, and come on down here to save your precious daddy,” the woman said in an annoyed voice. You heard another groan from your father. Your jaw clenched. 

    “But if I try to save my dad, I would have to give up all of our secrets,” you said quietly. The woman snorted. 

    “Well, life isn’t fair now isn’t it? You have three hours starting now, see you soon Agent Barton,” The woman said before ending the call. Your head spun as you dropped your phone on the ground. 

     HYDRA is blackmailing you, and if you don’t do anything about it, your own father will be killed, you thought to yourself. You stumbled back, reaching out and grabbing the edge of your desk for support. 

     You have three hours, The woman’s voice echoed in your head. Immediately, your fists clenched. You turned around and walked to a cabinet. You unlocked the doors, opened it, and grabbed your bow and thirty of your deadliest arrows. As you slipped on your quiver, an image of your father being brutally tortured flashed into your mind. Your face hardened as you slammed the cabinet door. 

You will save your father from HYDRA, and HYDRA will dearly pay.

Author’s Note: Ooooh, intense 😱 I am sooo tired right now, so part two is not coming up until tomorrow! Thank you chris-evans-imagines for requesting, I hope you enjoyed part 1 :) Follow for more stories like this <3

okay imma stop talking about Maya in a bit bc Prince died and that’s frankly more important but if we want to talk about platforms and who doesn’t get heard, Beyonce used her Super Bowl performance to highlight the Black Panthers and police brutality whereas M.I.A…. flashed the middle finger, then threw underage black girls under the bus to defend herself then flat out lied and said it was a Hindu religious symbol (I demonstrate the actual Matangi mudra in this photoset) so like…

startswithhope  asked:

“You don’t have to stay.” for CS. :)

I’m gonna be honest, I wrote this at like 1:00 a.m. a bottle of red in and completely sleep-deprived…

Nightmares.

They come like clockwork.

Every night they haunt him; his broken and anguished screams ripping through the darkness, ringing out and echoing across his cabin walls as he’s forced to relive the memories—the seductive lure, the evil promise, the murderous rage—that the Dark One has left behind.

And while she has her own demons—cutting her down and slicing her open, whispering cruel and terrible taunts in her ears, reminding her of the things she had done, the things she had wanted to do, replaying the cautious looks her parents try and fail to hide from her, highlighting the way Henry spends nearly all of his free time at Regina's—she can’t help but go to him; her fingers itching to touch and soothe, her heart breaking and threatening to crumble as he cowers and trembles in his bed, unable to chase away the unyielding pain, powerless to escape the suffocating memories.

In the light of day they barely talk, still too wary and uncertain of each other. (Their wounds are too fresh; raw and open, bleeding and painful). So much has happened. Too much still hangs heavy between them—their harsh words and unwarranted actions leaving them circling each other in a timid dance, a maddening and lonely waltz.

Keep reading

Bruce Gilden: Facing Up

It’s hard to grasp how the press materials for Bruce Gilden’s new book Face can blithely describe the work as consisting of “collaborative” portraits when the pictures resemble nothing so much as frontal assaults. It’s doubtful that anyone would willingly ‘collaborate’ on the effort to produce images that are so deeply unflattering. Gilden prides himself on his honesty, which is opposed in this case to the artificiality of social media portraits and the ubiquitous selfie (if we are to believe the accompanying essay). But here he has strayed so far into cruel grotesquerie that the results have, ironically, an acute falseness to them, far more so than the deliberate choice of a flattering profile picture on Facebook, for example. These are not real, living people at all, at last not in the way they’re seen here. They’re just a chance to stare in a way that would not be otherwise permissible - and that actually isn’t. It might well be a novel idea for Gilden, but ‘collaboration’ involves a great deal more than just asking someone can you take their picture before blasting away.

Making a photographic portrait almost always involves an unequal power relation; the photographer holds all of the cards. They control the framing, the background, the moment in which the picture is made, the final selection of an image to be printed or published, to a certain extent they also control the pose of their subject, who admittedly might have agreed to be photographed, but doesn’t always grasp exactly what they’re giving up in doing so. For a portrait to be ‘collaborative’ even in the general sense there has to also be a relinquishing of control on the part of the photographer rather than just the subject. It involves a willingness to include the subject’s own view of themselves and allowing that view to determine what the finished picture will be. Just asking someone if you can photograph them might not be Gilden’s usual method, but it falls far sort of collaboration as such. Similarly, asserting that the subjects “engage directly with the camera” doesn’t mean that they have any meaningful role in what the picture will actually look like or in how they are portrayed. In this case it just implies they’re looking at the camera and that in itself is still a fairly long way from engagement.

Isn’t class the real issue with this work? I would argue that it is, given that the pictures are made to be viewed - possibly owned - by people of means and they feature exclusively people whose relative lack of means is written all over their faces. So, whatever Gilden’s actual intentions might have been, the impression the work creates is of it being a freak-show, a sort of pictorial slum tour, amusing and enlightening the well-to-do. In the context of economic thinking that suggests poverty isn’t the result of gross systemic inequality, but of people just not trying hard enough, the message of these pictures is particularly egregious, perhaps doubly so since Gilden’s work on the issue of sub-prime mortgages and home foreclosures displayed an unexpected sensitivity on this issue. But Face lacks even the visual interest that enlivened his earlier work, such as the pictures he made in his native New York, arguably his best. But here the repetitive format of full face close-up offers no variation and his use of flash rather brutally exaggerates the features of people chosen for their supposed authenticity, but who actually seem to have been selected by Gilden because they look weird - there’s no more depth here than that.

It could be he really does empathize with these people and in that respect we could be (marginally) willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. But at the same time there is scant trace of that empathy in these pictures. They have a cruelty that serves no purpose, it doesn’t tell us anything at all about these people, their lives, their stories. They’ve been reduced to masks, a surface for Gilden to work about his superficial ideas about what’s real and fake. The ‘collaborative’ tag is just a marketing hook intended to soften the ethical implications of photographing people in this way. It is a means of selling what is actually a rather exploitative and mean-spirited series of pictures to an audience that wants to be seen as engaged, but without actually having to do anything about - and that still wants to enjoy the voyeuristic thrill of peering at the (economic) other. The truth is that Gilden’s artistic persona has largely usurped whatever potential that might once have existed in his work and all that remains is a demeaning caricature - of his subjects and, increasingly, of himself.

After reading this post here,  I tried to make a little analysis of the scene in which Kylo basically begs Snoke for permission to keep and train Rey, much to Hux’s reproach.

While this scene does support the Reylo argument, though not in the same powerful way other scenes do, I thought it was interesting to approach it in order to discern something about his persona without relying on the notion of Kylo’s obvious fascination with Rey. So here is the rant :)



This is a scene that can actually imply a whole lot on Kylo’s personality and past, especially  if we take it outside the limiting (and very true) context of his interest towards Rey. 

Kylo has just discovered Rey is Force sensitive and, for as much as he knows, she is part of the very Resistance he seems so eager to eradicate. Worse yet, this little girl bests him at his own game, gaining knowledge of his deepest fear and turning tables on him with ease despite her lack of training and refinement. If we discard the attraction he has for Rey (it’s there, we all know it, but let’s pretend it’s not his main driving reason), the fact that he wants to train her instead of killing her in cold blood speaks volumes about him. It is proven that, while he doesn’t shy away from murder and violence, it is not always his first choice and that is so no Sith-like. Using this fact, we could discuss the destruction of Luke’s academy and the aftermaths of it in different terms.

A favourite theory of mine is that Kylo didn’t kill all  the other apprentices (either way, he did not do it alone). It won’t be far-fetched to assume that, if he proposed to teach a total stranger, he would have tried to convince the children that were his companions for quite some time to switch allegiance. Luke’s padawans could have refused, but no one knows for certain as of now; few of them could have been swayed over like Kylo (hint: the current Knights of Badassery Ren).  Which means Kylo already has some Force sensitive users at his disposal and does not necessarily need another, more so a dubious one.

Then why training a potential enemy?  (again, I am trying to find different reasons than Kylo’s awe at everything Rey does).

Well, he sees himself in her. Kylo is insanely talented in the Force (look where that led him, poor boy) and has always felt alienated among his pals. However, Rey has proven to be his match, a worthy opponent, an equal. Plus she  knows his biggest fear, his most hidden secret, which puts Rey in the appalling (for her) position of being something along the line of a ‘confidant’, the person who knows more about him than anybody else does (Snoke does not count, they have a master/servant relationship and he is creepy as hell). Also, while the Knights of Ren obey him, they are ultimately Snoke’s underlings/apprentices as well and they probably won’t follow Kylo if he shows weakness (the Dark side is big on stabbing you in the back while you are not paying attention), so no opportunities for bonding. 

Rey is different, though. She is the equivalent of a blank canvas and would be totally dependent on him and his teachings (the boy has issues, I don’t expect him to address the situation in a mature, sensible manner). In addition, focusing on her training on the Dark side might help him forget the call to the Light he desperately denies.

Of course, it’s entirely possible the Knights of Ren are not Force users but my point still stands. He wants to connect, he needs a bond of some kind  with a person he feels so similar to him. We can assume that being exposed to the prospect of Jedi training before, he might have had some idealistic, childish views of how a teacher/student relationship should have been, dreams that were all too soon shattered. We know by now that Luke didn’t fulfill the role he had taken upon himself and has disappointed his nephew like every one else. I imagine Kylo thinks that, put in the same situation as his uncle, he can (or has to) do better, in order to show his worth in comparison to Luke’s failures and uphold Vader’s legacy. And the first Force sensitive he gets is a pretty scavenger from Jakku he can totally see as his equal and relate to. 

Romantic involvement or not, Kylo and Rey have a connection that doesn’t go unnoticed and  Hux and Snoke remark the fact in both the movie and novel.

The saddest thing about the scene is, no matter how much he craves something, he always ask for permission first, like a child would. Snoke embodies for Kylo the father figure Han never was; a horrible, sickening role model that has never abandoned him (unfortunately) like Han did and has shown him, admist cruelty and brutality, flashes of appreciation for the things he can do (never for who he  is, tho). Snoke made sure to stall his emotional growth, grooming him and he has a powerful hold over Kylo at this point. Even the blatant hostility between Hux and Kylo strikes me as nothing short of extrem siblings rivalry to win their parent’s affection/approval and it helps furthers Snoke’s agenda. I speculate that, if  the Supreme Leader ordered Kylo to kill Rey, he would have done it. That’s how brainwashed he is and it is just painful to watch.

Of course, things starts to change right from here and then progress till the snow fight against  Rey. Kylo now has something he wants, someone he would obsess over. The moment his desires overcome his will to please the Supreme Leader (you can read it as emancipation, which is fundamental in the process of growing up) it will cause a rift between Kylo and Snoke that could either bring the former back to the Light or sealing his fate as the real villain of the story. Both are very interesting routes to explore, IMO.

Sorry, that was long…