brussellbringham

thepettypauper  asked:

Somehow, you have lost the ability to grow a beard. What would you do?

I’d probably rock a Freddie Mercury mustache because that’s the next best thing. 

If I couldn’t grow that I’d break all the mirrors in my house and be so reclusive, I’d rival Rebeca from 100 Years of Solitude. 

thepettypauper  asked:

I want to start listening to Cher's music, but I have no idea as to where to start. What would you suggest?

I would suggest the 20 something gay go-tos: Believe & Living Proof. From there my favorite Cher albums are the 87 self titled album, It’s a Man’s World (UK versions if you can find it) and Love Hurts. If you make it past that I can suggest more.

thepettypauper  asked:

You hit my curve ball. Let's see if you can hit this one. The Bible fandom!

This feels like a pop quiz at christmas. I don’t like this. At all. 

1. bake cupcakes for: Mary Magdalin, girl gets the wrong rap cuz that one pope effed up who she was. (She was not a prostitute. She had “8 demons" which could have been anything from bad skin to seizures at that time. So she might have been a nice lady with some minor aliments and people were mean to her and now thousands of years later people say bad things about her. Which seems wrong.)
2. trust with the keys to my car: NO ONE. THEY HAD CAMELS. THAT WOULD BE IRRESPONSIBLE. MY INSURANCE WOULD NOT COVER THE CARNAGE.
3. put thumbtacks on the chair thereof: The Old Testment
4. have a crush on: The peas. From Veggie Tales. They count. Back off.
5. pack up and leave if they moved next door: Pretty much any of them.
6. vote for President: None. They have no understanding of the current social political environment. Also that would just like make the middle east way way worse.
7. pick as my partner in a buddy movie: the one with the rainbow coat. I feel like we would do well at gay clubs.
8. pair up: Jesus and his actual nationality and racial heritage and not the white jesus I keep seeing.
9. vote off the island and into the volcano: The one that says ladies got cramps for eating an apple…….
10. wheedle into fixing my MP3 player: They would try to eat it. No. I need that for things.

(My mom taught Bible Study for years. Too bad I listened to the wrong parts…. according to her.)

thepettypauper  asked:

The Food Network fandom!

I was not expecting that!

1. bake cupcakes for: gordon ramsey
2. trust with the keys to my car: Joe (the one on masterchef, dont make me look up his last name right now.)
3. put thumbtacks on the chair thereof: racist southern butter lady
4. have a crush on: gordon ramsey
5. pack up and leave if they moved next door: the one that is stuck in the 90s with the backwards sunglasses and frosted tips
6. vote for President: gordon ramsey
7. pick as my partner in a buddy movie: gordon ramsey
8. pair up: gordon ramsey and a nap
9. vote off the island and into the volcano: forhead woman. you know what you did
10. wheedle into fixing my MP3 player: None of them. They cook. Why would I let them near complicated electronics. That is not their area of expertise. I know more than they do. MAKE ME A SANDWICH.