Silence isn’t the answer. MC should know that by now. But sometimes it felt like Jumin was far away. Maybe he was?
Someone needed to say something. Someone need to open up.
MC loved her husband.
But sometimes he could be too much.
Sometimes he could be too little.
Today was the type of day when dinner was on the table but words weren’t spoken. They ate quietly.
“MC?” Jumin asked, breaking the silence.
“Hmm?” MC responded quizzically. They sat on either side of the table with overrated food. Sometimes MC just wanted to have pizza and watch movies illegally. That’s what Seven was for. Sometimes MC just wanted to watch someone play video games and say ‘ouch’ even though they aren’t physically hurt. That’s what Yoosung was for. Sometimes MC wanted someone to give her lots of attention. That’s what Zen was for. Sometimes MC wanted someone to fangirl with at an aesthetically pleasing cafe. That’s what Jaehee is for.
Sometimes MC didn’t want presents to distract her.
Jumin sighed and rested his elbow on the table, “Are you taking advantage of my generosity?”. It took a second for MC to process the meaning behind what he had just said. Jumin noticed the confusion and discomfort in her expression and quickly retracted his statement.
MC doesn’t think she can stay here any longer.
“Um…Jumin?” she asked hesitantly, twirling her fork. Jumin looked up again, staring at her with his dark eyes.
He gave her a soft smile and urged her to continue.
“I think I’m gonna stay at Yoosung’s this weekend so someone is going to have to feed Elizabeth,” MC said, not really knowing if Yoosung was free. She had made this up on the spot.
Jumin looks at her furrowing his eyebrows. He takes a second before continuing to eat with no response.
Of course he doesn’t care, MC though. She was nervous for no reason. Everything was going to be okay. She was going to make pillow forts with Yoosung and draw stars on his arm and it’s going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine.
600 Follower Celebration fic for @jaleeni - hope you like it! :)
Summary: The reader is tired of the handsome stranger coming in to her bakery and not buying anything, so she decides to do something about it, or him.
word count: ~1300
You were busy with the morning rush of regulars and visitors
when the bell on the front door gave a jingle.
Boxing up some muffins, you glanced at the door, smiled, and shouted a
“Welcome to Y/N’s,” to the handsome man standing there.
He was wearing jeans and boots, an army green jacket over a
red plaid shirt. Out of the corner of
your eye you watched as he looked around the shop, eyes moving from you to roam
your display of baked goods. He took a
deep breath, shoulders rising with the flow of air into his body.
You were pressing buttons on the register when you heard the
bell jingle again, and you watched through the window as the man got in a black
car and drove away.
Curses. Witches. Spells. The whole ordeal, it just gave you chills. Especially after that one time that you were stuck in a bad position and ended up being on the wrong side of a deal. Dean, had gone and been a dumbass who tried to get the Mark of Cain off. You didn’t know why the hell playing cards with a witch and purposely losing to loose some years of life was the answer, but he did it. Only, he lost more years her bargained for. When an old, grey haired man walked into the motel room that was rented for you and your two brothers, the first thing you did was grab your gun and aim it at him.
“Whoa! Calm down! I’ve been through enough tonight, I don’t need to add being shot to the damn list,” there was something about how they talked. But one look into his candy apple green eyes and you knew who it was.
“Dean? You look- different…” switching your gun back to safety, you couldn’t help but chuckle a little bit.
“Yeah, I went and got a haircut. Of course I look different! I’m as old as Bobby!” the yelling took the breath out of Dean, making him sit down and catch his breath.
“Watch it boy,” the old(er?) man behind Dean wheeled in the front door which was wide open. “Lookin’ good son,” the three of you, Sam, Bobby, and yourself, couldn’t help but laugh.
“Bad date?” Sam couldn’t help but pitch in. Not everyday your older brother ages like there’s no tomorrow. At the rate he was aging, there may not be a tomorrow for him.
“Ha ha ha, shut up,” in each ‘ha’ Dean gave off, a short wheeze followed it. Making you laugh once again.
“How many years did you loose, old timer?” even as you spoke, you giggled. He wasn’t amused.
“I initially gambled to lose twenty years, but somehow a few drinks later, twenty turned to forty,” wait, was he serious? “Added with twenty…” okay he was screwed with a capital ‘S’.
“You lost sixty years? You’re already thirty you moron! And the way you down greasy foods like it's air, you won’t live much longer,” the tone in your voice was like he always did to you when scolding you back in the day- wait, last time he scolded you was yesterday…this age thing was messing you up.
“Oh good, you can count and calculate,” the old man sitting on the bed tried to raise his voice but couldn’t, wheezes came out.
“Make sure he doesn’t move, he might give himself a damn aneurism,” grabbing your coat, you headed towards the door. Nobody bothered asking what you were doing because it was obvious, you were getting your brother back to being your brother instead of your grandpa.
“I want to make a deal,” the witch before you listened intently. “I’m 26- you take a certain amount of my years and when I win, you give them back to Dean and all the ones he lost,” he laughed at you.
“That hardly seems like a fair trade, sweeten the pot,” rolling your eyes and scoffing, you realized this wasn’t going to end well for you. Dean sooooo owed you.
“Every year I gain, you get. I’ll stay that age forever. So…we got a deal, or what?” by the pleased look on his face at your offer, you could tell he was all in.
Of course you won.
You deserved a beer. Too bad a two and a half year old couldn’t drink beer…The boys and Bobby opened the door to be greeted by the witch who held you in his arms. Nobody questioned anything. Dean was himself, and well- you weren’t. He set you down and you did ran barefoot over to your oldest brother.
“Bean!” you had no idea what had just happened, it was like any other day in your life, and this all seemed normal. “Shiny,” the tiny hands connected to your body reached for his Samulet. But he pulled away.
“No, we don’t touch that,” it was like he had to teach you everything all over again. “So uh, any ideas on how to get her to the right age again? I’m not going through the toddler stage a second time…” every word he said was just like nonsense to you. Big sentences that confused you.
“Why not?” Sam walked I’ve and took you from Dean. “I forgot how cute she was as a little kid,” as if on cue, both of your hands reached up on both sides of his face, grabbed a handful of hair directly from the root, and pulled.
“Still think she’s cute? I don’t know about you, but I’d much prefer the annoying adult brat child instead of this one,” Dean cracked open a beer, sitting down at the table.
“Well until we figure something out, looks like we’re stuck with her like this,” wheeling over to you, Bobby reached upward and took you from Sam, setting you in his lap. “We can take turns babysitting and whoever isn’t scheduled, looks for a cure for this,” he continued taking while you were busy playing with the wheels on his wheel chair, trying to copy what his hands did.
24 Hours In
Well your first night as a kid again was interesting. Sleeping situation was a problem at first, but Dean insisted Sam shared a bed with you. He must’ve remembered your potty problems at bedtime at this age because you wet the bed, and on Sam, in your sleep. Nobody was amused. Well Dean was, until the smell hit him. As punishment for his little prank, Dean got to bathe you. He’d forgotten how sensitive your stomach was to water either a little too hot or too cold for you, which ended with you throwing up on him.
“Forget the water has to be the same temperature as her body?” Sam poked his head in the door at the sound of Dean making a gross sound and you crying.
“Shut up, can you take her so I can shower and get this crap off of me?”
It was like an endless cycle of them using you for pranking each other.
Bobby was busy doing research so he wasn’t around to see it. He’s probably treat them like the children they were acting like…and watching.
48 Hours In
Sam was off helping Bobby and Cas with research so it was just you and Dean at the bunker. The worst time of the day was coming up: Nap time. Dean had tried everything to get you to go down just for an hour at minimum, but had no luck. He set you in the room, you cried until he came back. He left the door open, you cried until he came back. Put the TV on for you, guess what? You cried until he came back. Finally he realized there was no way in hell you were sleeping unless he was laying besides you, just like every normal nap time you had back when you were supposed to be this age.
Reluctantly, Dean crawled under the covers with you in his bed, seeing as your pillows were wet from tears. Instantly your tiny body snuggled directly into his. He was laying on his left side and had you facing him, holding you into his chest.
The pointer finger on your right hand began twirling what hair it could from his head around your finger.
“Fre-tels.” you half yawned the words.
“What?” pulling you back a little, he looked into your sleepy eyes that were barely even open.
“Fre-tels.” your hand pulled away from his strand of now messy curled hair and placed an open palm on his right cheek. “Fre-tels.” he couldn’t help but smile.
“You want to play the freckle game?” a sleep nod was all he got in return. Crying took a lot out of you. “Start counting then, Princess,” bright green and hazel mixed eyes opened in front of him as your pointer finger from the same hand that was once on his cheek, extended in a crooked way.
“One.” the finger landed directly on one of his freckles. He repeated what you did, only his finger landed on your face counting out loud as you did.
“Two.” you found a freckle placed on his chin. It was the only one there, all alone in that one section on his perfect face. Only able to be seen up close. He returned with his own second freckle right on the tip of your nose. You giggled a little as he tapped it.
“Tree.” he made his own giggle as you mispronounced the next number.
By the time it was your turn, you were our cold. This game always worked before, looks like nothing changed.
1 Week In
Both your brothers continued switching back and forth on babysitting duty. Cas wasn’t trusted enough to be in charge of a young child so he didn’t get to watch you on his own. Bobby constantly worked at finding you a way out of this mess so he never watched you.
Today was Sam’s turn. Dean had left a few hours ago and the Rapunzel Disney movie you guys had just finished was over.
“Punzel braids.” sitting on the bed with your feet dangling down onto Sam’s shoulders who sat on the ground, you reached for his hair. He must’ve sensed you were going to grab hold because he moved. His head was pretty tender since you’d been de-aged and had an obsession with yanking on it.
“No, Y/n. We don’t touch brother’s hair,” he turned around to look at you but was greeted by the biggest set of puppy dog eyes he’d ever seen. “I forgot you learned that from me…”
An Hour Later
“Well it took a week, but we finally found a-” Dean stopped talking at the site of the tangled and knotted rats nest resting on Sam’s head. With a very happy kid sitting behind him making it worse with all sorts of tools: a fork, hair brush, tiny pink clips, a few hair-ties, hair spray, and a straightener you thought was working but wasn’t even plugged in.
“Glad we found a way to reverse this because…I don’t know how much more of this I could take,” the sound of your humming was in the background as he spoke. “By the way, I might need help brushing this out…”
Later The Next Day
You were back to your proper age, everything was normal again. Well….
“I’m so sorry again, Sam…kids huh?” a sheepish smile played on your lips as you set down his salad you’d made.
“Well now when we want him to get a haircut, we know how to make it happen,” Dean walked by, brushing the short hair on his younger brothers full head of hair.
“I swear, I’m getting back at you for this, Y/n,” oh he would hold his promises. And he did a pretty good job too. He had short hair, and you had bright blonde hair instead of your beautiful black natural color. Family problems caused by witches…
i got wayyy to into this,,, sorry it took so long! i originally wrote a different au but it had 80+ bullets so i had to erase the whole idea lol // i tried making this gender neutral
being a merperson near a kingdom by the sea, you would always sit on the rocks near the beach and just watch the lives on the land
you would have to hide everytime the prince of the kingdom went outside into the castle’s garden because the garden had a clear view of the whole beach
all the other mermaids and mermen thought you were so weird for being entranced with human life (since you were aquarius and all) and your father would always warn you NOT to go out of water
haha jokes on u dad aquarius are rebellious
but you got a little too close to the beach one day and the waves were too strong for you to swim away and the next thing you knew you felt sand under your hands and your purple tail was suddenly two bare legs
panic panic panic
the birds on the beach also freaked out next to you, squaking like crazy trying to alarm other sea creatures that a merperson has just crossed the barrier between water and land
hearing such chaos outside near the beach, the prince curiously walked to the garden and his confusion raised by a hundred percent when saw you, a naked person shushing the birds outside his castle
your head snapped to the voice, and both of your eyes widened at the sight of each other
his curiousity got the better of him and he ran towards you, calling out to you
“your royal highness! what’s wrong, are you alright?”
“ahhh,,, haha nothing cheol i was just playing a game on you guys” the prince replied while trying to cover you from the guards’ view with his body
fortunately the guards believed him, and left him with a simple curse under their breath and the prince sighedand turned around to see you lying on the ground trying to crawl to the beach and he was like “hey, stop!”
you froze and tried to stand up but your knees gave out since your legs were too weak and the prince, by instinct, reached out to steady you
but he turned as red as a tomato when he noticed you were completely naked and he removed his white long sleeve button up and helped you into the shirt
“okay so….. who exactly are you?”
you avoided both his eyes and his question, not wanting to tell him anything as you covered your chest with the shirt
“are you gonna answer or am i going to have to call the guards again?”
“no- wAit” you quickly looked at him but you were met with a cocky smirk on his face
your mouth turned into a frown and was like “i’m (y/n)….…. and uh… i don’t remember how i got here” (ofc you lied)
he narrowed his eyes at you but nodded anyway; “i’m mingyu”
noticing you were shivering, mingyu sighed and nodded again like “i’ll take you inside, cmon”
he hid you from the guards walking around the castle and led you to his bedroom and you just sat there on his bed while he paced around the room thinking on what to do with you
he was debating in his head whether he should take you to the guards and lock you up or if he should just try hiding you in his room while he thinks what to do with you later but when he saw you playing around curiously with the candles on his bedside table he decided that you weren’t dangerous enough for him to lock you up and was like
mingyu comes back with one of his sibling’s spare clothes and hands it to you like “you smell like fish so go bathe and change into this when you’re done”
“b-bathe??” you stutter but he shoves you into his bathroom anyway while filling the bath up for you
you tried remembering what a bath was when you read this book with a bunch of human words from the sunken ship you found a few weeks ago but you couldn’t remember so when mingyu walked out and closed the door you dipped your toe into the water
mingyu immediately freaked out when he heard that sound from the bathroom and he quickly walked in and saw you inside the bath with water spilling onto the floor everywhere and your lower stomach connecting to a bright, shining, purple tail
your eyes went wide when you saw mingyu walk in like “wait i can eXPLAIN” and he was all “yo-you’re…. you’re a mERPERSON?”
the shirt had fallen off your chest again and he got all flustered and said “ok when i get you out of there you are telling me EVERYTHING”
so he helped you get out of the bath and into actual clothes
and that’s how you found yourself spilling your life story to the prince of the kingdom, kim mingyu
after a few days you were getting used to walking so you always blabbered about how much you loved humans and how you wanted to see the land surrounding the castle when you two were hanging out in his room
so mingyu told his parents one day that he met the kid of a fisherman and they became close friends and wanted to introduce his friend to his parents
the dinner (kind of?) went smoothly
except you didn’t know how to use utensils and the king and queen gave each other strange looks when they saw you using your fork to brush your hair but nonetheless they liked you and it wasn’t weird to them when they saw you and mingyu walking around the kingdom together
you were so happy to be walking through the streets filled with people
mingyu knew that he was being a bit wreckless while watched you jump from stall to stall but what did he do that wasn’t wreckless so he ignored the thought and smiled at how humanitarian you were
guard!chan was with you guys and he eyed mingyu like “you like them don’t you” and mingyu got so flustered like “whAT- no what makes you think that psh no i don’t uh you’re crazy”
but when mingyu saw you playing with some villager kids he couldn’t help but admit to guard!chan that hey maybe he did like you
I didn’t see anyone else make the snail pie from Undertale, which is a shame, because it sounds delicious! This was my first attempt after frankensteining an escargot recipe and a mushroom pie recipe together - and it actually turned out pretty great.
TORIEL’S SNAIL PIE
1 can helix snails (escargots) butter 1 package frozen puff pastry, thawed 1-2 cloves garlic 10 oz mushrooms 1 onion, chopped 1/3-½ cup heavy cream ¼ cup grated parmesan cheese 1 egg, beaten 4 slices bacon
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Place snails in small bowl and cover with cold water for 5 minutes. Drain and pat dry.
Heat butter in skillet, add mushrooms, garlic, onion and escargots. Stir for 5 minutes, then reduce heat and add cream, cook for 10 minutes, remove from heat.
Place one sheet of puff pastry on well-buttered baking sheet, and pour filling over the top. Sprinkle with cheese. Cover with other sheet and press edges together to seal. Make holes on top with fork, brush with beaten egg. Top with bacon “hearts” if you’d like.
Bake for 40 minutes in oven or until golden brown. Serve with white wine or cider, and with mashed potatoes as a side.
Ceres’ rose, lavender, and saffron tea cookies from ‘A Red-Rose Chain’
The second Ceres offered the motley crew these colorful cookies, I knew that I had to make them myself. What’s better than flower-themed cookies in a time of crisis? When the world is falling down around your ear and there are magical murderers around every corner, sometimes you just have to take a breath and have something sweet with your tea or lemonade. These are nice mild shortbread cookies with subtle flavors in them, so they’re perfect to have as a little sweet snack.
(Thanks very much to @seananmcguire for writing such a truly wonderful series and giving me an excuse to make flavored shortbread cookies as a minor tribute to them).
Annual list of things people got stuck in their orifices!
It is time for a Deadspin holiday tradition like no other: our annual trawl of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits to discover the strangest, unlikeliest, and most awkwardly shaped objects America inappropriately shoved into its various holes. God bless us, everyone.
As always, objects sorted by orifice, working south:
AIR FRESHENER BEAD
JEWEL FROM TOY CROWN
TIP OF DART
“PUT TISSUE IN HIS EAR ONE MONTH AGO AND FEELS LIKE IT IS STILL THERE”
NIPPLE FROM BABY BOTTLE
MINIATURE HOCKEY PUCK
“10 SIDED DICE”
“USED A METAL COAT HANGER TO SWAT A BEE OFF OF HIS NECK AND COAT HANGER WENT UP NOSTRIL”
GRILL BRUSH BRISTLES
BRILLO PAD (FROM CRACK PIPE)
“HAD A BUTTON IN HAND,WENT TO SNEEZE,TRIED TO COVER MOUTH W/HAND & INHALED BUTTON”
SILVER CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT
FOIL FROM BAKED POTATO
COOKIE WRAPPED IN CELLOPHANE
“PLASTIC SPOON AND PERHAPS A PENCIL”
“STUCK A NAIL IN URETHRA THEN IT MIGRATED UP INTO THE BLADDER”
LONG PLASTIC HAND OF STIRRING SPOON
“INSERTED A LONG BALLOON IN PENIS TO HAVE GIRLFRIEND BLOW UP FOR SEXUAL STIMULATION AND IT BROKE”
PLASTIC HANDLE OF SCISSORS
“A LARGE AMOUNT OF SAND”
BAG OF CRYSTAL METH
10" STEAK KNIFE
“ONE BATTERY AND THREE COINS”
“PUT A BAG OF MONEY IN VAGINA TO HIDE IT FROM HUSBAND”
“HAD ANAL SEX & HAS BRUISING, BLOOD ON TOILET PAPER, TOOK CRYSTAL METH TO HELP PAIN”
CAN OF SPRAY PAINT
SHAVING CREAM CAN
“BEER BOTTLE UP RECTUM & BOTTLE BROKE WHEN TRIED TO RETRIEVE BOTTLE W/ PLIERS. COCAINE USE PRIOR TO INSERTION”
METAL TOILET PAPER HOLDER
“ROLLED UP STACK OF PLASTIC TRASH BAGS”
Recipe of the Day: New Potato, Goat's Cheese and Thyme Tart
This is the simplest of simple recipes, yet the deliciousness of its transformation – from inedible, raw ingredients to soft, melting, crispy, unctuous, salty moreishness – is something close to alchemy. I’m afraid it does require a mandoline or a food processor with a slicing attachment unless you possess infinite patience, a very sharp knife and a true eye for slicing potatoes super thin.
1 small bag new potatoes (approx. 500g) ½ slab ready-made puff pastry (approx. 250g) butter, for greasing flour, for dusting 1 goat’s cheese (the kind in a log with a rind, not the spreadable stuff), thinly sliced several sprigs of thyme splash of olive oil sea salt and freshly ground black pepper 1 egg
METHOD Preheat the oven to 180°C/350°F/gas mark 4.
Slice the potatoes. I recommend using either the slicing attachment on a food processor or, like me, risking your fingertips and using a mandoline. It’s the work of a few minutes to slice a small bag of new potatoes into uniform pieces. The key word there is uniform: you need the slices to be the same thickness so that they cook through evenly. About the width of a two-pence piece.
Grease a baking tray with butter. If you plan to serve this tart on a platter rather than the baking tray, place a piece of greaseproof paper or baking parchment on the tray so that you can easily transfer it.
Take the puff pastry and roll it on a floured board until thin but still small enough to fit on the baking tray. Transfer the pastry over to the greased baking tray, then lightly score a box about 2.5cm inside the edges. Layer the potato slices onto the pastry within the scored box and arrange the goat’s cheese slices on top.
Strew over the sprigs of thyme, splash on some olive oil, and liberally add salt and black pepper.
Beat the egg with a fork and brush over the pastry border.
You see that glorious son of a bitch up there? That could be yours. Just follow this recipe. This is an amazingly fragrant, delicate, moist, melty, beautiful cake. I’ve been on an Italian kick lately and this is truly the best that Italy has to offer in a single dessert. So please make it a pronto, for yourself and for the ones you love. Abbondanza. xxx
YOU WILL NEED:
2 large-medium oranges
2 1/3 cups sugar
2 ½ cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 tsp orange blossom water (tricky to come by and expensive, but WORTH IT… if needs be though, get orange extract and dilute it with water)
1 tsp sea salt
6 tbspn extra virgin olive oil
1 tbspn orange juice
5 oz unsweetened chocolate
8 tbspn (1 stick) unsalted butter
1 cup + 1 tbspn sugar
1 cup heavy cream
1 tsp vanilla extract
flaky sea salt
Boil a pot of water and cut the tops and bottoms off the oranges. Place them into the pot of water and cook for about a minute. Then drain the oranges, empty the pot to discard the oils and repeat this step two more times. (The easiest way to do this is to boil three small pots at once, then cook the oranges and discard the water as you go.)
Put the blanched oranges, 1 cup of sugar and 4 cups of water in a pot and cook on a medium heat until the orange rinds are soft, sticky and tender - about 30 minutes. Then allow to sit until reaching room temperature. Set the oranges aside and reserve two tablespoons of the water in which they were cooked (this is for your glaze later on).
Grease, flour and line your cake tin. Preheat the oven to 350F.
In a large bowl, mix up your flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.
Get out a food processor and blend your oranges until they form a nice chunky purée, then add the remaining 1 1/3 cups sugar, eggs, 1 tspn orange blossom water and your flour mixture. Keep it going for about 2 minutes until thoroughly combined.
Slowly add in the olive oil and process until it’s thoroughly mixed in to the cake batter.
Pour the batter into your cake tin and cook for about 40-45 minutes or until a toothpick/knife inserted into the center of the cake comes out completely clean.
Make your glaze. Combine remaining orange blossom water, the 2 tablespoons of the water you cooked the oranges in, and your orange juice. Once your cake has cooled completely, remove from the pan and place on a wire rack, then poke a bunch of holes all over the top using a fork. Gently brush over the glaze.
Frosting time! Chop up the chocolate and butter.
In a saucepan, bring the sugar and cream to a boil and immediately turn the heat to low and allow it to simmer for about 5 minutes. Don’t let it overflow.
Add the chocolate and butter and stir until thoroughly melted. Then add the vanilla extract.
Put the frosting in the fridge and allow it to completely cool. Then it will be ready for spreading.
Ice your cake and sprinkle with sporadic grains of flaky sea salt.
Ned’s (Individual) Apple Pies from Pushing Daisies
Now that the weather is getting colder, the power to revive the dead would be awfully handy.
Fruit! We meant revive dead fruit! Thankfully you’ll only find tasty live apples in these individual apple pies. They’re perfect single-serving desserts to keep to yourself or share around with that special living someone.