bruised & battered

Battered and Bruised Ch. 5 (Bucky x reader)

Hello loves! I hope you’ve been enjoying this series, it’s been a lot of fun to write. Getting messages from you always makes me smile. Enjoy chapter five, it’s about to get hella angsty. Have a wonderful afternoon, I love you all. 

Description:  Bucky sees all the damage he’s physically done to you because of what H.Y.D.R.A. did to his mind.

Warnings: Angst, scars, kinda smutty but not really, and stripping lol

Chapter 1 2 3 4

Masterlist 


“Come on, babe. Dance with me.” Bucky was standing in the middle of your room, the stereo playing some forties slow song. He had a big grin on his face as he reached his arm out to you, hoping you would take it.

“Buck, you know I can’t dance.” You were sitting on your shared bed, a novel sitting in your lap. Regardless, you set it down on the nightstand and took his hand. He pulled up you and walked you to the center of the bedroom. 

“I know you can’t,” he gave you a kiss on the lips after he saw that you were gaping at him. “But, I can. So you’ll stand on my toes.” 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, as he wrapped his around your waist. You stood on his toes and you danced around the room, giggling. He pulled you into his chest as he spun around the room, thinking about nothing besides the fact that he wanted to be with you. Always.


“Clear!” The doctor pressed the paddles to your chest, sending an electric shock through your unresponsive body. Nothing. 

“Come on, F/N! Set it to three hundred joules… Clear!” The metal plates jolting your body, making your back arch. Still, nothing. 

Bucky stood in the middle of the room, watching you slip from his fingers. He was frozen, he couldn’t rip his eyes away from you. Tears began to fall onto his cheeks and soon enough he was sobbing. Steve shuffled the rest of the team out of the room, telling them that they he didn’t want them to see what might happen next. Once Steve got everyone out, he wrapped his arm around Bucky and he fell into his shoulder, loud and heart wrenching screams escaping his mouth. It was heartbreaking to hear.

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I remember the first hit,
It came from your mouth and not your fist
“You are just a stupid bitch”
That should’ve been the end of it.

But I couldn’t walk away,
So your words would hit me every day
Until your words were replaced
By the hands across my face.

I remember when you choked me
Your hands like rough fabric my tears were soaking,
I closed my eyes, silently hoping
That you would kill me- no more coping.

I remember that last hit,
Right before I called it quits
Screaming “I can’t fucking take this shit”
While my tears and blood dripped down your fist.

I managed to unlock this pen,
I packed up all my things and ran,
I finally escaped you then-
Never to see you again.

—  [s.bucks]
#25 // excerpt from a book I’ll never write

best case scenario: it’s nothing.
he dropped his bag to help someone out,
it got moved out of the way,
he’ll turn up and start bitching about tears and dirt stains,
you’ll tell him to shut the hell up, even though he won’t listen,
he never listens,
and you’ll hang on to every word as he keeps talking.
(this is unlikely. he wouldn’t set that bag down,
wouldn’t abandon any of his things even if
the world was burning)

next best scenario: someone stole it.
he’ll be battered and bruised,
because no one got that bag without a fight,
and you’ll tell him what a fucking idiot he is.
he’ll make some joke,
he always does,
and you’ll remind him again of how much you hate him.
he’ll remind you of how much you don’t.
(this is slightly less unlikely, but be realistic—
he wouldn’t give up any of his things even if he were burning)

okay, next best: he ran.
“best” is a relative term here,
“best” implies it’s anything good but really your chest
has never felt so fractured and the ground is tilting and everything is
wrong.
maybe he ran. is that why he asked you to let him go?
why he insisted he be set free?
(this is even less unlikely. it borders on likely, be honest.
he’d throw all his things to the wind if he felt like he was burning)

next best: he was taken.
you know he’s perched on a throne of lies,
buried in his own secrets of a past he tried to torch.
he isn’t safe, he never was, never was going to be,
no matter what you had to say about it.
stopshakingstopshakingstopshaking thisisn'thelping—
you hate him. you hate him so much. you hate
that you hurt for him.
(this is likely. this is very likely.
he’d never let his things go unless you were burning.)

worst case scenario: he’s dead.

—  if you were really amazing you wouldn’t have let him go // es
Show Her

A/N: So this is my first Marvel imagine and of course the first had to be Bucky bc who doesn’t love some Bucky. I’m going to warn you right now, it’s probably terrible so shoot me if I don’t do him justice. Okay :) (Credits to gif owners!)

All everybody had been saying for the past few months was ‘show her’ and now the words were repeating in his head among other things non-stop. He cared for her oh so much. Maybe she never noticed how he felt but she did always reciprocate the love he showed. When he couldn’t sleep, or when he just needed advice to ask a girl out that wasn’t her, maybe even when he was insecure and even asked her what to wear the next day because he didn’t know what color looked best on him.

Yep…she was there. For the stupid little things and all the way to cleaning him up when he got home from a mission. Bruised and battered, a split lip or a bloody nose. She’d even patched up a gash on his last living arm, the 'good one’ he called it. The one that made him stand out unlike the rest and the glob of metal for an arm on the opposing side of his body made it harder to go undercover with Steve. Y/N even helped scrape dirt out of the crevices in the monster of an apendage.

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Meanwhile in Camp Jupiter
  • *A VERY battered and bruised Octavian being carried away to the sick bay*
  • Jason: What happened to him?
  • Reyna: He fell out of the window
  • Jason: ..........and how many times did he fall out of the window? *gapes at the horrible state Octavian is in*
  • Reyna: I don't know. I lost count. *idly examines her bruised fist*
  • Percy: *raises hand* I may have helped Reyna help him find the window.
Soft Side (Bucky x reader)

I hope you all liked chapter five! This was a request from anonymous, and I thought it was an awesome prompt, so I decided to give it a whack. If you love Bucky and angst, check out my ongoing series: Battered and Bruised. You can find it in my masterlist here. Enjoy! 

Request:  “Could you do a Bucky au in which he’s like the punk boy from school and y/n is his girlfriend and she’s the only one who knows his sweet side and one day she comes home super stressed and he cuddles and kisses her until she feels better?”

Warnings: Cursing, otherwise it’s just filled with fluff. 


The sound of Bucky getting slammed into the lockers echoed throughout the hallways. 

“Don’t be such a bitch. Fight back! Come on!” The school jock was egging Bucky on, trying to get a reaction out of him. 

“I don’t need to prove myself to a dick like you.” He shoved the guy off of him, walking down the hall like nothing happened. 

“I’m gonna fucking get you, punk!” The steaming football player yelled down to corridor at him. Bucky continued to walk down the hall, rolling his eyes. Oh, how he wanted to beat him to a pulp. He was capable of it, but he refrained for your sake. You had asked him to chill out on fighting, that you were giving them the reaction they wanted. He complied. Only because he loved you. 

Everyone at school thought Bucky was weird and tended to stay away from him. Some people were even scared of him. He came off menacing and cruel, but he really wasn’t. Before you two started dating, you realized he had a soft side that he hid from the world. And he was only ever like that with you. He believed that nobody deserved his unconditional love besides you. 

He continued to saunter down the middle of the hall, all the kids moving aside for him, worrying that they might get beat up. He held some much swagger in his stride, your heart swelled every time you saw him. God, you loved him. 


You drove out of the school parking lot, frustrated beyond belief. You had five AP tests coming up, there were college applications still to finish, and your parents had been yelling at you all week long about who knows what. 

Before you left school, you texted Bucky that you were coming over and he always welcomed you, no matter what time of day. 

You pulled up into his driveway, turning off the ignition. You walked up to his door, raising your hand to knock. Just as your knuckles were about to make contact with the wood, the door swung open, a cute, smirking Bucky standing in the doorway. 

“Hey, babe.” He stepped aside, motioning for you to come in. 

You took off your shoes and gave him a sweet kiss. “Hey baby.” He pulled you into a hug, rubbing your back. 

“What’s wrong?” He looked concerned, seeing that you looked absolutely done with everything. 

“Just super stressed. I needed a break, so I came here.” Your voice was muffled against his chest. 

“Come on. How about you change into one of my shirts and sweatpants and we can cuddle on the couch?” He smiled down at you, wanting to do everything in his power to make you feel better. You nodded, eyes closed. He could see the bags under your eyes from a mile away. “Okay. You can go change in my room. I’ll wait down here for you.” He kissed you on the forehead and you walked upstairs to his room to change. 

A couple minutes later, you returned with his ginormous clothes hanging off your body, you hair falling around your shoulders, no longer in the tight ponytail you had in all day. 

“You look beautiful.” He gave you a soft smile with equally soft eyes. You knew he never acted like this with anybody else. Only you. You playfully shook your head and walked over to him. 

He scooted over on the couch, making room for you to lean up against him. You snuggled up against his warm body, taking in his scent. He smelled so good. All the time. 

No words were needed as he played with your hair and massaged your aching scalp. He knew just what to do to make you feel better. You hummed contently, receiving a smile from Bucky in return. He showered you in kisses from your head to your collarbone, earning giggles from you. He smiled against your skin, finally ending his little kissing spree with a deep one on your lips. 

For hours you two laid there in each others arms, not saying much, just making each other happy. You cuddled into him, his warmth enveloping you. The tension from the week was gone. You felt so happy in his embrace. 

“Feeling better, babe?” He smiled at you, his blue eyes lighting up at you. 

“Officially de-stressed.” You gave him a loving, deep kiss. His lips setting off fireworks in your head. 

Like you said, he knew just what to do to make you feel better. 


Hoped you liked this little fluff one shot! If you have any more requests, don’t be afraid to ask! I don’t bite haha. I love you all, have a wonderful night. Oh, and if you want to be apart of the taglist, let me know!

Taglist: 

@mcfuccfairy

Catch Me if You Can (Steve x reader)

Hey loves! I needed to give Steve some love and I’ve been super tired lately so, this one shot is coming in the morning instead of after the new chapter of Battered and Bruised. I love you all so much and I hope you have a wonderful day :)

Description: You have a training session with your boyfriend, Steve, but you’re ability is super speed so it makes things a little harder for him.

Warnings:

Masterlist


It was early Thursday morning, and you groaned. You alarm was blaring in your ear as you threw your pillow over your head and rolled on your stomach, trying to block out the unforgiving noise. Steve rolled over and put his hand on your back. He rubbed it, and you hummed in content.

“Good morning babe.” He smiled at you, chuckling at the fact you were so unwilling to get up. You responded with a good morning that was mostly muffled from the fact that your face was smushed into the mattress.

“Come on, F/N. We have a training session this morning, remember? We need to get ready.”

You groaned in disbelief. “But, it’s too early.” You took the pillow away from your face and cuddled up to his chest. You hoped your moves of affection would convince him to stay in bed and forget about training.

“Nope. We gotta go, babe.” He kissed your forehead and got up, sitting on the edge of the bed. You grabbed his hand and gave him your best puppy dog face. He gave you a look. “No. You’re not going toget us out of this session.” He gave you a goofy grin. “You know I can’t resist you when you make that face, but the team needs us there today.”

“Okay..” You held out the last syllable of the word and released his hand. He got up and headed to the bathroom to wash up.

You rolled on your back and stared up at the ceiling. Why did these things have to be so early? You groaned once more and pulled yourself away from the sheets. You woke up your nerves by speeding through the room: grabbing your clothes, making the bed, brushing your teeth, and changing. And it was all done in less than a minute. You were standing by the door. “I’m ready!” You were smirking towards Steve’s direction. “Come on, babe. We have to go to our training session.” You mocked him in his stern voice.

Slowly, he sauntered out of the bathroom and crossed his arms. “Really?” He still had his toothbrush in his mouth. He playfully rolled his eyes and cracked a smile, walking backwards to the bathroom. “Give me ten minutes and I’ll be ready to go.”


Once Steve was dressed, you walked hand in hand into the training room. Most of the team was already there, besides Tony and Banner. Obviously Banner didn’t need to attend, he kind of had his own way of fighting after all. And Tony, well, he just didn’t show up half the time.

The morning commenced fairly well. Wanda paired up with Vision and they started a battle in the middle of the mat. Steve was making sure that neither of them used their powers and solely focused on hand-to-hand combat. He didn’t agree with letting them use their energy manipulating powers during sessions. They needed to know how to fight. Ultimately, Wanda won. Vision had a soft spot for her and didn’t want to hurt her. Steve rolled his eyes and called up the next pair of fighters. This time Natasha and Clint took the floor. They were both good at what they did, and it ended in a draw when both of them were rolling on the floor, in pain from all the blows they had taken. The training session continued and everyone watched, giving pointers and learning new moves.


Finally, it was almost over and you stepped on the mat, Steve across from you. You seldom fought him, but it was always fun. He was actually a good match for you because he was the only one strong enough to stop you.

“Ready?” He had his hands in loose fists and put them in front of his face, taking his fighting stance.

“Let’s go.” You gave him a smirk and you were gone. You darted across the room, stopping momentarily in different spots, keeping him on his toes. His eyes were shifting and he spun around every time you passed him. You stopped behind him and delivered a quick jab underneath his ribs. He let out a groan, but quickly brushed it off.

The only flaw to your ability was that you left a trail of light behind you when ever you ran, making it easier for him to track you. Even so, you were still too fast for him.

“Catch me if you can.” You whispered in his ear, as you quickly appeared behind him. When you tried to bolt, Steve caught your arm and threw you down on the ground. The force knocked the wind out of you and your groaned.

“Gonna have to be faster than that, sweetheart.” Before he could land on you to put you in a lock and end the match, you disappeared from underneath him in a flash. You started making circles around the room, creating a whirlwind around Steve. He threw his hands up in front of his face, straining his eyes against the wind. When you finally stopped, you jumped up on his shoulders, using your thighs to bring him down.

You had him pinned. “Like I said, catch me if you can.” The right corner of your mouth was pulled up in a smirk. You were inches away from his face and kissed his lips. The team groaned, knowing that this would happen.

He winked up at you. “I’ll get you later, babe.”


I hoped you enjoyed this cute little one shot to start your morning! Battered and Bruised will be posted this afternoon. I look forward to having you all read it! I love you all.

Taglist:

@mcfuccfairy

Battered and Bruised Ch. 3 (Bucky x reader)

Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed chapter two because things are about to get intense for chapter three. I hope the cliff hangar was good enough. Just a reminder that I love you all and that you have a wonderful day. I posted a Masterlist last night and you can find all my other works on there :)

Chapter 1 2

Description:  Bucky sees all the damage he’s physically done to you because of what H.Y.D.R.A. did to his mind.

Warnings: Violence, cursing, angst.


“I love you F/N. I never thought I would be able to love somebody, but I love you. And I never want to lose you. Never.” 

“And I love you. I always have and always will.”


The Russian man threw the notebook down, smirking. From your chair in the corner, you could see the scowl on Bucky’s face, but his hands were shaking. He was trying to be brave, but he was terrified. Your tears were streaming down your cheeks and every breath hurt like hell. You had been screaming out for Bucky, trying to calm him down in anyway possible. The pain in your ribs was excruciating, and you began to choke on your sobs, your throat burning. 

“Soldier, welcome home.” The man’s accent was so thick you could barely understand what he was saying.

“I am not your soldier. And this- this is not my home, you fucking bastard.” Bucky thrashed against his restraints. A heated anger began to burn inside his chest. 

The agent just scoffed at him, then turned his full attention to you. 

“And I’m guessing your the American, scum agent that knocked out most of my men.” His back was to the light and his enormous shadow loomed over you, obscuring his features. “Hmm,” he tilted your head up towards him with his index finger, letting him see your flushed, tear-stained face, “but with your skills, you could be a wonderful soldier. for H.Y.D.R.A.” He chuckled lightly.

“Don’t you fucking touch her.” Bucky growled, his chest heaving.

The unknown man circled you, like a vulture. He began to twist a curl of your hair, suddenly grabbing a fistful, yanking your head back. You cried in pain; hot tears were stinging your eyes. 

“Stop it! Get away from her!” Bucky was thrashing against the table, screaming, but it wasn’t moving one inch. You realized this table was specialized to keep him restrained. 

“Ah, so I found your weakness, зимний солдат.” The man had a wide grin on his face. “You love her, don’t you?” He released your hair and walked back to the table in the middle of the room. The pain from your head began to subside, but the waves of pain every time you breathed were still prominently there.

“I swear to God, if you lay another hand on her I will kill you.” The words were seething between Bucky’s clenched teeth. 

By the way this was going, you didn’t know if you were going to be leaving alive or in a body bag. Or worse, you would sticking around as another one of their super soldiers. 

“Bucky, look at me,” you croaked. Every word burned your throat and sent screams on pain through your body. He turned his head to you, eyebrows stitched together with hurt and worry. “I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. I always have and always will.”

“F/N, don’t say it like this is goodbye. Don’t do this.” Tears were making streaks down Bucky’s beautiful face. You gave him the best smile you could despite the immense pain. You didn’t know what could happen next, you and him were completely helpless. They took all of your weapons, even the extendable blade that was embedded into your uniform. He had a better chance of making it out, he was a super soldier after all. Though, your luck was running thin. Your chances of getting out of there in one piece were slimmer than ever.

“Enough of this.” The man spoke clearly this time, his anger and annoyance was building in his voice. “Let’s get started now солдат. Shall we?” He motioned towards the leather notebook, the star matching the one that used the be on Bucky’s vibranium arm. The agent picked it up, his eyes boring holes into him. 

Taking his sweet time, he opened it, flipping through the pages. He was going to enjoy watching both of you suffer.

“Bucky. Baby. Stay strong. Fight it, I know you can. Focus on something. Focus on me or Steve or us.” Your words brought more tears to your eyes, it was breaking your heart. “I love you. It’s going to be alright.” 

As you were talking him down, Bucky listened to the sound of your voice and closed his eyes. 


“Catch me if you can!” You yelled, caught up in a fit of laughter. You were wearing a yellow sundress, weaving in and out of the trees. 

“I’m coming after you!” Bucky chuckled, a huge smile was plastered on his face. He finally caught up to you, hugging your waist from behind. You both were breathless, falling to the ground, laughing. 


He opened them. Worry was knitted on his face. He had to keep these memories. He had to hold onto them, and maybe, just maybe his mind wouldn’t succumb to the pain and brainwashing. 

“Тоска..” The agent bellowed, letting the word echo through the room. Bucky’s metal arm twitched. He had to fight this. He couldn’t leave you. You were the one person he had, the one person he loved. 

“Ржавый..” Something began to click in Bucky’s head. The world began to spin around him.

“Stop!” You were screaming as you saw the love of your life being ripped apart right in front of you. “Baby, no. Don’t forget me. Don’t forget us.” You were choking on air and tears, your vision blurry. 

The man wielding the notebook began to speak louder and faster, realizing that you could jeopardize the activation.

“Печь, рассвет, семнадцать.” Bucky was thrashing around, trying to stay grounded. It was becoming harder and harder with every second. He was going in and out of his own, controlled mind. He tried focusing on another memory.


He rolled over, seeing your beautiful body laying beside him. This was the first morning you ever woke up together. He wrapped his arms around you, kissing you on the shoulder. A corner of your mouth curled up in reaction. 

“Good morning my love.” He spoke, breathing the words into your neck. 

“Good morning.” You groaned, placing a sweet kiss on his lips.

He smiled. “God, I love you so much F/N L/N.”


Thinking about you brought him back a little, making it easier to think clearly.

“Доброкачественный, девять, возвращение на родину.” The man was grinning from ear to ear as he saw you struggling against your restraints. 

You couldn’t run to him, bring him back down from this. Your croaked whispers were being drowned out by the echoing voice of the man who was torturing Bucky, right in front of you. 

“Один.” The room was booming with noise. Bucky’s screams gave you a sinking feeling and you felt yourself falling apart. 

He couldn’t fight it any longer. He kept recalling memories of you, repeating his name and your name in his head, hoping he wouldn’t forget it. Searing pain crept up to the front of his head, making his vision go blurry. Tears were streaming down his face, he was covered in sweat. 

He looked at you one last time, “F/N, forgive me.”

“грузовой вагон.” The agent stood still, waiting for a reaction from Bucky. His head was drooped forward, the long black strands covering his facial features. 

“Солдат?” He was eager for a response. 

Bucky’s head slowly drew up. “Готов выполнить.” 


The agent began to laugh hysterically. “Impressive, no?” He looked at you, the life drained out of you. 

“Солдат, kill her.” He smirked down at you, watching you as you remained stoic. The only thing that he could see were the silent tears rolling down your cheeks. He unlocked Bucky’s restraints and he immediantly got up, walking briskly towards you. 

“Bucky, I know you’re in there somewhere. I want you to know that I love you.” Your voice was scratchy and whispered. 

“Who the hell is that?” He asked you, pure evil was the only thing found in his once loving, blue eyes. Before you could say anything his metal fist came into contact with your jaw. An instant spike of pain emerged, you could taste blood in your mouth. 

“I don’t blame you for this. This isn’t you.” You whimpered, the pain in your jaw made it incredibly painful to speak. Were you afraid of him? No. What you were afraid that the real Bucky, your Bucky, would never come back. 

One, two, three punches landed in your other ribcage, gut, and face. 

You were spitting out blood. “It’s okay baby. I’m not afraid. I’ll always love you.” Your vision became spotty as pain coursed through every inch and every nerve of your body. 

“Shut up!” The Winter Soldier was all that was left standing in front of you. He began to deliver a series of punches all over you body, making your head spin. You didn’t scream or yell. You took it, every single punch. 

Blood was streaming down you face, arms, and it began to seep through your clothes on your stomach. You couldn’t focus on anything as your body became numb. He kept punching you, but you could no longer feel it. 

A blanket of white overtook your vision as you whispered, “I love you Bucky,” one last time before you collapsed in your chair, your world fading to black. 


How was it? Leave me some feedback! You can message me anything! Let me know what you thought, how it made you feel, what you think is going to happen next :) If you want to be notified when I post the next chapter, let me know and I’ll add you to the taglist 

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@kaitlynthehuman @pinkleopardss @sergeantsandscoundrels 

Today’s dose of catdads: Winston’s Bananas

After @joasakura mentioned how cats like to chew on crap, this happened.  She’s responsible for half the dialogue, so consider her a co-author as well as villainous instigator.

“Sir, have you been near my bananas?” Winston asks when Jack comes into the kitchenette.

Jack glances away from the cup of coffee he’s pouring long enough to look over to Winston.  "I have no idea what you’re talking about.“

Winston lifts the bunch of bruised and battered bananas in his big hand up to eye level and peers over his glasses at the suspicious human teeth marks.  

Jack is his commanding officer.  It would be inappropriate to accuse him of lying, and Winston tries hard to be appropriate.  Sometimes he thinks he’s the only one around here who does.

But there’s a reason he’s honed his skeptical face into a tool of precision, and it’s for moments just like this.

Jack glances at the bananas, also notes the suspicious human teeth marks, and then meets Winston’s eyes for just a second before politely unfocusing just a touch.  Jack and Gabriel get it, when it comes to body language, and Winston appreciates that.  Especially since they have a tendency to stare people down if they don’t think about it, and that makes Winston either want to duck down ingratiatingly or punch something.  "Maybe it was Lena,” Jack suggests after a moment of thought.  “You know how she gets on her sugar crashes.”

It’s a struggle to keep his expression from shearing off into total disbelief.  Instead, Winston lifts his other hand and measures the size of the bite marks with thumb and forefinger.  Not that he should need to.  He thinks it’s pretty evident.  "Sir, whoever this is could fit half of her head in their mouth.“

Jack’s tail puffs with indignation.  "Hey!”  

Winston sighs.  He didn’t mean it as an insult, but if the shoe fits…

“That’s not the only thing he can fit,” Gabriel says, reaching past Jack for the coffee.

"GABRIEL.”

Winston sighs again.  God, please don’t let this scar his love for bananas.  They already ruined his ability to enjoy corn.

COMING HOME by charlesdk

Word Count: 40k+
Chapters: 11
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes

Moodboard Credit: @atticuos, the best cheerreader. ♡

Summary:

“Steve, you don’t know a damn thing about that guy. The fact that you’re even considering keeping him in your house is crazy.”

“I don’t care.” Steve glanced over at the stranger, his face softening when he saw him sinking back into the couch cushions and gripping his backpack so tightly. “Sam, the guy looks like no one’s been nice to him for years. How am I supposed to be okay with just sending him off somewhere?”

Sam sighed heavily and looked heavenward. “I swear to God, if I come by tomorrow and find you dead in your bed, I’m gonna find a way to bring you back to life just to kill you again.”

OR – in which former army captain, current farmer Steve Rogers finds a bruised and battered and dirty stranger who remembers nothing and doesn’t speak in his barn. He takes him in, despite his friends’ advice not to, and helps him recover. It’s not easy. Especially not when, along the way, feelings get involved.

Read on AO3.

He felt a stirring in the Force-a bruised and battered and wonderfully familiar presence.

“Obi-Wan!”

He and Anakin met in the middle of the deserted street. During their years as Master and Padawan he’d done his best to break Anakin’s childish dependence on demonstrations of affection. He’d failed. And now, full of relief, he found himself reaching out to clasp his former student’s shoulder.

—  Star Wars The Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth by Karen Miller
Battered and Bruised (Bucky x reader)

Hey everyone! I hope you all have been liking what I’ve been writing. You can message me with feedback, requests, or even just a simple hi to have a conversation. enjoy!

Description: Bucky sees all the damage he’s physically done to you because of what H.Y.D.R.A. did to his mind.

Warnings: sad, angst, unintentional physical harm comes to the reader, nightmares, ptsd, barely any fluff

~~~~

The night was cool and even through the closed window you could hear the passing of honking cars in the busy street. You’d become accustomed to it, it no longer interrupted you sleeping schedule. The apartment you lived in was shared with your adoring boyfriend, Bucky.

Getting into this relationship, Steve wanted to remind you that because of what was going on in his brain during his H.Y.D.R.A. days, that it could manifest itself back into him without any trigger. He described Bucky as, “a bomb just waiting to go off.” You could tell it hurt Steve to have to describe his best friend that way.

People were giving you the whole spiel about “how you can’t change people”, that “he’s never going to be a normal person.” Even Bucky was scared for you, he didn’t want to put you in harms way.

But, you were headstrong. You loved Bucky with all your heart. You knew what he could do. The thing was, you weren’t afraid. You weren’t scared of him. You never were.

Bucky was haunted with vivid nightmares about the awful torture and killing he had been through and done. Almost every night he relived through something different. Sometimes, they were so realistic that he would get on top of you and restrain you, cursing you in his sleep. This was a normal occurrence when he had nightmares of the doctors that tore apart his mind.

He would always wake up of no recollection of what happened, and you never told him. All he remembered was the nightmare itself. You didn’t want to make him feel guilty, it didn’t bother you actually. You knew what he went through was traumatizing, so you never blamed him for what happened when he was in his sleep.

~~~~

It was a beautiful Sunday morning and you woke up next to your most favorite person in the world. Bucky was sound asleep, his arm wrapped around you, his scruff brushing your bare shoulder.

You raised your arm behind you to run your fingers through his hair and you felt him smile against your skin.

“Good morning babe.” His raspy voice breaking the silence. You loved the way he sounded right after he woke up.

“Good morning Bucky.” You chuckled as he placed an array of kisses along your shoulder, neck, and face. “Hey, I’m gonna take a shower. Then I’ll make us breakfast, okay?” You rolled over onto him, both of you giggling, his hands on your back. The coolness of his metal arm sending shivers up your spine.

“You’re gonna leave me here in the absence of your warmth? How could you?” He had a huge smile on his tired face as you leaned down and kissed him one last time before making your way to the bathroom.

You turned on the water and stripped off your crinkled pajamas. Before you got in, you saw yourself in the mirror out of the corner of you eye. Turning towards the mirror, you saw yourself in full for the first time in a long time. You realized in that moment how much your body was covered in bruises; new and old. Your hips and ribs slightly blue and purple from when Bucky gripped you hard during a nightmare that scared him to tears. Your thighs were expressing the same coloration and your arms had little scratches from his fingernails where he had dug them into you. You never noticed them before. You weren’t angry or upset, you understood this is what came with the nightmares he had.

“F/N, I hope you don’t mind if I join you for your shower.” He opened the door with a smirk on his face. “I’d like to love you some m-” he stopped mid-sentence as he looked up and saw your naked body and all the marks on it. “Baby, what’s- what happened?” You turned to face him and him placed his hands on your shoulders. You didn’t make any attempt to cover them up, he already saw. You just had to find the words to tell him. “Tell me. Why do you have all these bruises… a-and scratches?” He spoke softly, but his voice with filled with concern.

“Bucky.. it’s fine. I’m okay.” You gave him a shy smile as you looked up at him. His gaze fluttered up and down your body. “Bucky..” You didn’t know what to tell him, or even how.

A sudden realization hit Bucky and it felt he took a blow to the gut. “I- I did this..” He voice cracked and the hurt in it made you wince. “I did this.. didn’t I?” The thought of him hurting you and damaging your beautiful body brought tears to his eyes.

The water was still running, but you ignored it. “I’m okay. I know you don’t mean it. We’re going to be okay. I love you. That’s all that matters to me. I love you so god damn much, that guess what? I’m willing to go through this pain with you.” You pulled his forehead down to yours, gripping the front of his t-shirt to bring him down to you.

“I’m so sorry F/N. I’m- I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you and I can’t believe I did this. It won’t ever happen again.” At the point Bucky was sobbing, holding onto you for support.

He was so upset, and you were his support system. You placed a kiss on his lips and helped him undress. You helped him get into the shower as he was stumbling from the emotional pain. There was no love making. You helped him wash his hair, having the water just warm enough to feel calming against his skin. He was silent as you wrapped yourself in a towel went into the bedroom to grab some clothes for you both.

When you returned to the bathroom he was out of the shower, looking at the ground. You got him dressed and brought him back to bed. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to make some coffee, just the way you like it.” You kissed him on his head and gave him a sad smile. As you were turning away, he gently held your hand and didn’t let go.

“Don’t go… please.” He whispered at you with hurt eyes. It made you feel so broken inside.

“Okay.. I won’t go anywhere.” You climbed back into bed with him and snuggled up to his chest. “I’m never going to leave you. We’re gonna be okay.”

He whispered into your hair, “F/N, I’m sorry.” You told him how happy you were with him and that things were going to get better. The soft fabric against your skin and the warmth of your bodies brought both of you back to sleep.

As you fell asleep, all you could think of was that everything was going to turn out alright. You loved and trusted Bucky and that was all that mattered.

3

wanted to doodle because;

@captn-sara-holmes “ Headcanon that Clint and Bucky are utter bros because MCU Bucky clearly has an innate need to look after tragic blonds who get in too much trouble and he can’t look after Steve anymore because a) supersoldier and b) Steve is busy looking after everyone else. And then one day he sees Clint come in all bruised and battered and making bad jokes and is all like aha. yes. This one is now mine and I will look after it whether it likes it or not. “ (x)