Requested by Anon - an imagine in which alfred is on vacation so lucius fox recommends you to take his place while he’s gone and at first the family doesn’t trust you but after a while they do. Then one day cause tim still doesn’t trust you he sneaks into your room and reads your diary only to discover that you’re a vampire which also explains why you didn’t mind being around blood when you were patching them up after patrols.
“So, Lucius recommended you?” Bruce Wayne asked from behind his desk at Wayne Manor. He narrowed his eyes at you as if looking into your soul. You sat in a chair in front of his desk with your suitcase sitting next to you.
“Yes, Mr. Fox said you needed a temporary replacement,” you answered coolly, meeting his gaze. “Since your butler will be away for three months.” He was trying to intimate you. You had to fight to keep yourself from laughing at him.
Bruce hummed, sensing that you were amused by him. “And you know about our…’nightly’ activities?”
You smiled at him, sending him a wink. “Yes, I know you are Batman, Mr. Wayne.” He frowned at your bluntness, studying you. You simply met his eye, waiting for him to make a decision.
“You do understand your duties would include not just the house, but the downstairs as well?” Bruce mumbled, glancing back at your resume.
“The Batcave is the downstairs, yes?” He frowned at you again making him appear like a spoiled child. “I am trained to handle the types of situations you usually have, Mr. Wayne.”
Bruce pursed his lips in thought. After a long moment, he finally spoke. “I guess I will trust Lucius’ judgement and hire you.” You smiled brightly at him, standing up to shake his hand.
“Thank you, Mr. Wayne. I’m sure you’ll find my work satisfactory,” you stated cheerily as he took your hand.
“Your hand is freezing,” he commented, his eyes flickering to yours in concern.
You shook your head. “My hands are always cold,” you replied unconcerned. Your eyes shifting slightly at the truth of the statement. You drew back your hand though, self-conscious. “Now, if you would be so kind, Mr. Wayne. I would like to be shown to my room to unpack before I start.” You picked up your suitcase.
“Of course…,” Bruce answered, guiding you out of the room.
“You can call me, (Y/N), Mr. Wayne,” you interrupted. You sensed his discomfort at not remembering your name.
“And you may call me Bruce,” he said, giving you a friendly glance as he led you out of room. You sighed, gazing around at the magnificent house around you. Somehow, you felt like you were about to embark on an adventure.
It took you a few days, but you soon settled into a pattern around Wayne Manor. Each day, you would cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner for whoever was in the manor at the time. You also did the housework, which was a lot considering how big the manor was. At night, you would clean and manage the Batcave. Also, if they required it, you would provide medical treatment for the batfamily.
The family was cold to you at first. They didn’t trust you, and you understood that since they held so many secrets, but you worked to gain their trust.
Surprisingly, you gained most of their respect, not from your cooking or house cleaning, but for your medical skills. It was on one night when Damian came in with a deep cut on his arm. There was a lot of blood, soaking through his costume.
Dick carried him into the medical bay, minutes after they called to inform you of the emergency. Damian seemed to be slipping in and out of consciousness, his head resting limply on Dick’s shoulder.
“Put him down on the bed,” you ordered as Dick moved to carefully lay him down. You started to inspect the wound, removing the temporary bandage.
“It was a knife,” Dick explained, studying you as you moved with the expertise of a professional. He seemed to be waiting for something. “He’s lost a lot of blood.”
“Yes, I can see that,” you answered calmly, looking up at Dick to see the blood soaking through his costume. “Why don’t you change, Richard? I’ll take care of Damian.”
“It’s only a scratch,” Damian mumbled softly. You gently prodded the wound before grabbing cleaning supplies.
“I knew I shouldn’t have showed him Monty Python,” Dick remarked, leaving the room. He waited until he knew you would be able to help Damian. Honestly, he was surprised when you didn’t react to the blood at all.
Damian mumbled some more, but you couldn’t understand him as you prepared the stitching. “This will sting a little,” you warned as Damian huffed before closing his eyes.
Halfway through the stitches, Bruce marched in, still dressed in his batsuit. “Is he alright?” he demanded with worry in his eyes. You looked up from the stitches to give him a smile before continuing.
“Damian will be fine, Mr. Wayne. The cut missed the tendons, so there will be no permanent damage. He will just have to recover from the blood loss, but he won’t need a transfusion. Just rest,” you detailed, finishing the last stitch. Bruce stood on the other side of the bed, brushing the hair out of Damian’s face. Your heart melted at the tenderness of the moment.
Bruce watched you bandaged Damian’s arm. “You are skilled as Lucius said,” he muttered to himself. Sending him a look, you rolled your eyes.
“Of course I am, Mr. Wayne,” you replied, not knowing what else to say to that. Suddenly, you found Dick, Tim, Jason, Cass, and Stephanie stumbling into the room. The others kept their distance while Dick came to stand at your side.
“He will be okay, right?” Dick asked, frowning at how pale Damian was. You smiled at him before glancing at the others.
“Damian will be fine. He just needs to rest,” you assured, finishing Damian’s bandage to turn to clean up the medical bay. “I have sandwiches ready if any of you wish for one.” Jason, Cass, and Stephanie left the room excitedly for they had grown to love your sandwiches. Tim remained, studying you with uncertain eyes.
“We should probably get him out of his suit,” Bruce stated, glancing at you for permission. You nodded as Bruce scooped Damian up in his arms and carried him towards the changing area. Dick followed, leaving you alone with Tim.
You felt his eyes burning into you. “Is there anything you need, Tim?” He narrowed his eyes at you before turning to swiftly leave the room without saying a word. You furrowed your brow in confusion before continuing your work.
Tim didn’t trust you. Everyone else insisted he was being paranoid, that he had trust issues. While Tim understood he had a hard time trusting people, with you it was different. He didn’t know what it was, but he felt like you were hiding something.
Perhaps it was the way you avoided sunlight at all costs. If you did go outside during the day, you would wear a hat, gloves, heavy jacket, boots, and sunglasses as if you were trying to prevent any sunlight from touching your skin. Then, there was your eyes. They were this mysterious red color with yellowish circles around your pupils. Everyone else thought it was cool, but Tim was sure it meant something.
Finally, there was the fact you didn’t seem to eat. Everyday, you would make meals for the family, yet Tim never saw you take a bite. Even when you had to taste test something, you always called Damian over to do it. You appeared healthy enough, but Tim didn’t know what to think.
Eventually, after being yelled at by Bruce and Dick for being rude to you, Tim decided to take action.
He waited until you headed off to the grocery store. Once he saw you disappear out the door, bundled to the brink even though it was seventy degrees out, Tim secretly made his way towards your bedroom.
The door was locked, but Tim picked the lock in a second before slipping into the room. Much to his surprise, it seemed rather ordinary. It was neat, as could be expected since you were the housekeeper of sorts, with only a pair of tennis shoes laying haphazardly in the center of the room.
Tim inspected the shoes, frowning when they appeared to be normal. Quietly as he could, Tim searched the room. He checked the dresser drawers, under the bed, the closet, and even your bathroom cupboards.
He was quite surprised when he found some empty blood bags in your garage can. Checking the label, he was even more shock to find they weren’t from the cave for they were blood types none of the batfamily had.
When he could find nothing else of interest, and was about to leave the room to reveal his discovery of the blood bags to the family, Tim found himself tripping on a loose floorboard. He landed with a loud thump, gasping when all the breath was forced out of his lungs from the impact. Staying still for a moment to see if he had been heard, Tim turned to investigate the floor board.
Underneath the floor board, Tim discovered three leather journals. The first one seemed to be from the 1980s, the second from 1930s, while the last one seemed to date back to the mid-1800s. Fascinated with his discovery, Tim opened the oldest journal.
After he finished the journal, he moved onto the next one with much anticipation. He was a fast reader, and in a half an hour, he finished all three journals with his mind whirling. Suddenly, it clicked.
Tim’s eyes widened as he ran frantically from the room with the journals in his arms. He searched for the family only to be startled beyond belief when he found you in the kitchen, putting away groceries.
“Hello Tim, I’m planning to make Manicotti for dinner. Mr. Wayne told me it was your favorite,” you said, giving him a warm smile. He flinched, staring at you with wide, terrified eyes. You noticed the fear on his face, frowning. “What’s wrong?”
“You’re…you’re a…,” Tim stammered, backing away from you. You noticed your journals in his hands, knowing right away what he was trying to say. Sighing, you paused your grocery sorting to put your hands on your hips.
“Well, Tim, I’ll have you know it is very rude to go through other people’s things without asking,” you scolded, loving how his jaw dropped open in surprise. He must have been expecting you to attack him or something.
“But…but isn’t it also rude to keep secrets from your employers?” Tim replied meekly before taking a step towards you. Your journals were clenched to his chest.
You tilted your head at him. “I don’t believe any of you ask me if I was a vampire,” you remarked, going back to putting away groceries. “It also wasn’t a question on the application Mr. Fox gave me either.”
Tim was stumped by your answer, his mind racing for a reply. You smiled at him as if you knew you left him speechless. “It’s something we should know,” Tim finally spoke, approaching the other side of the island in the center of the kitchen. He laid the journals carefully on the island. “What if you suddenly get the urge to drink our blood?”
“You’re stereotyping me, Tim. Not all vampires bite humans for their blood, and not all of us have an uncontrollable urge for blood. It’s no different then food to humans. I don’t see humans going crazy over a bit of food if they’re not starving to death. Besides, I prefer to drink from blood bags anyway,” you explained, meeting Tim’s eye. He seemed to relax a little bit. “It’s more satisfying in a way.”
“Is that why there were blood bags in your garbage?” Tim asked, raising an elbow.
You glared at him before nodding. “Yes, and before you ask, I paid for them with my own money. I didn’t steal them from your blood supply.”
“I know, none of the bags held our blood types,” Tim interjected, sinking onto one of the bar stools to watch you. His past fear was replaced with curiosity. “What about the sun?”
Chuckling to yourself, you found it oddly relaxing to explain yourself to someone. You had kept your secret for so long, it was nice to express yourself openly. “Due to my vampirism, my skin is highly sensitive to sunlight, which is why I have to wear so much before going outside. I notice that the older I get, the more sensitive my skin gets.
“According to your journals, you are over one hundred and fifty years old,” Tim stated, his fascination sparkling in his eyes. “Is that true?”
“Yes, and what is with all the questions? Are you really that concerned about me being a vampire?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him as you finished with the groceries and started dinner.
Tim paused for a moment, pursing his lips in thought. “At first, I was, but it was only because I thought you were hiding something from us, but now, I don’t know. I’m just fascinated with the idea.”
You hummed, nodding in understanding before dropping your voice to a whisper. “While I know you wish to ask me questions, but I would prefer if kept this between us. Judging about what I know of your family, I don’t think it would be a good idea to reveal this to them.”
“Your secret is safe with me as long as you’re still making Manicotti,” Tim whispered back at you with a playful smile. Your heart warmed as you felt Tim finally trust you enough to show his true colors, even if it was bribery.
“Alright, we have a deal,” you agreed before gesturing towards the journals. “Would you please put these back where you found them?”
“Yes, (Y/N),” Tim replied, leaving the room calmly. His mind kept racing, wondering about everything he could learn with having you in the household. Part of himself wondered if he should tell the others, but he stopped that thought, thinking of the expressions on their faces when they learned about it on their own.
You know what fucks me up? Damian sketching Alfred in a moment of repose.
It’s not very common for us as the readers to see Alfred doing something not Batman/Bruce/Crime fighting related and Damian’s tender moments are rare too (but becoming more frequent).
Can you just imagine Damian looking over at Alfred drinking tea and catching that moment with his pencil. Of all the things he could create and he makes this, for himself. We get two equally nice things here, Alfred relaxed and Damian showing such affection in this little act.
It’s nice to see Damian doing something so soft.
Can you imagine how much this child loves him. How much he appreciates Alfred for all of his patience and warmth? I’m crying.
The Avengers come back to the tower after a long day of being awesome only to find Ellie there. The young girl has been thinking up ways to improve their superheoring
The team trudged into the Avengers tower. Sweaty, bloody and weary after a long fight. Captain America’s shield was scratched, the Iron man suit was torn with sparking wires by the shoulder. Professor Bruce Banner was in dire need of a new pair of pants, holding the much beleaguered purple sweatpants around his hips as he limped. Hawkeye only had three arrows left. Natasha’s face was smudged with dirt and her hair was falling loose from its ponytail.
So in other words, most days for the Avengers.
Spiderman and Deadpool were currently bickering over reattaching Wade’s severed arm.
“oh my god oh my god peter just let me do it”
“the last time you did it you put it on backwards now stop squirming you big baby”
“nonononono baby boy come on lets be reASONABLE OH FUCK”
Peter had finally jabbed the arm into its correct position, the bones audibly cracked into place as his body accepted the missing piece.
“Jesus fuck on a cracker baby boy warn me when you do stuff like that.”
“I DID warn you! you’ve just been being a baby! You’ve fallen off buildings with less fanfare than this!”
“I probably would’ve complained less if you let me do it!”
Wade and Peter continued to bicker in the background. Out of all of them it seemed only Thor was feeling properly chipper. Thor’s chainmail was bloodied and dirtied but his smile was bright and his gait light as he swung his hammer back and forth.
Thor grasped both Clint and Natasha’s shoulders, one on either side of him as he shook them lightly on their already unsteady feet.
“Indeed friends art there no better sport than the glory of battle?” he grinned wide at the pair of them. The god didn’t seem to notice the poisonous glance Black Widow sent his way at the Comment. Clint decided to intervene.
For Thor’s safety.
“hey Thor, we’re all pretty beat. Mind handling the food?”
The Thunder God perked up at the suggestion, he shook clint harder “EXCELLENT!” his thunderous voice made Peter and Wade pause their bickering and Natasha to glare harder “WE SHALL FEAST AS HEROES!”
“YES FOOD!” Wade pumped both hands into the air, the motion dislodged the newly attached limb and he and Peter watched the limb fall to the ground in a sickening wet splat.
Peter pinched the bridge of his nose “oh for fuck’s sake wade”
Wade motioned to the fallen limb with his remaining hand “that wasn’t my fault.”
Thor merrily jogged ahead of the team as they continued into the tower. He opened the door to the Avenger’s living quarters. In their living room a little girl was coloring with a….is that a hydra agent?
All of her previous weariness forgotten, Black Widow flew across the room, three daggers were flung with expert precision, pinning the hyrda agent to the sofa, a fourth dagger held to his throat. All before hawkeye raised his bow.
Ellie didn’t even look up from coloring as the Hydra agent began sobbing.
“AHHHHH OH MY GOD DON’T KILL MEEEEEHEEEEHEEEEE”
Natasha looked him straight in the eye, her voice steady as a rock and her glare the heat of hellfire.
“Who are you and what are you doing with this little girl, answer me now and I MIGHT not castrate you and staple your balls to your ears like the world’s worst earrings”
The Hydra agent only sobbed harder. Ellie continued to color as she spoke “Aunty that’s just Bob.”
Black Widow loosened the knife a fraction as Deadpool came in with Spiderman holding his reattached arm steady.
The Hyrda agent looked ready to cry tears of joy at the sight of Deadpool. “MR. WILSON THANK GOD!!” He leaned forward only to have Black widow push him back down and press the blade harder against his throat.
“Oh hey Bob! Nice to see you! Hows the Wife? Hows it being held by Black Widow at knife point?”
“ummmm…” Bob squeaked. “She’s fine and to the second question….terrifying and uncomfortable?….”
Black Widow raised an eyebrow at Wade “You know this man?”
“yeah yeah, me and Bob go way back, not sure what he’s doing here though. Thats a little weird..”
Ellie pointed a crayon accusingly at her father “YOU forgot to pick me up at soccer practice! I had to get Bob to pick me up! Do you know how LAME Bob is????”
“Oh shoot baby girl, I’m so sorry, I forgot, Daddy had his arm chewed off by a werewolf ninja…”
She flung a purple crayon at his head “EXCUSES!”
Deadpool pouted at his daughter “Would it help if I told you I saved some werewolf ninja fangs for you?”
Ellie perked up “COOL! WHERE!!???”
Deadpool handed over three long curved fangs for his daughter to inspect “Daddy gouged those out of Daddy’s arm!”
Ellie grinned as she turned the teeth over in her hand “Can I make them into a necklace??”
Wade ruffled his daughter’s hair “Sure thing pumpkin!”
“YAY!” she jumped up and down before she leveled her father with a contrite look “…Sorry for getting mad at you…I know what you do is important…”
Wade dropped to one knee in front of the girl “Nothing is ever as important as you baby girl” he said as he hugged Ellie to his chest.
“Aww thats so cute….” Bruce looked at the tender father/daughter moment, still holding his stretched out pants to his hips.
Suddenly self-conscious he turned to Tony and whispered “…I should probably go put on some pants now that there’s a kid here….”
“yeah you go do that….”
Bob coughed from under Black Widow “…Umm can I go now??”
Captain America made a dismissive motion with his hand “Nat just let him go…”
Natasha took her knives from where she had pinned Bob to the couch, the hydra agent ran, tripping over himself to the elevator. He got inside and frantically started to push the down button, frantically eyeing the Avengers.
At the last moment before the elevator door closed he raised both fists and yelled “HAIL HYDRA!” before letting out a girly shriek as one of Natasha’s knives whizzed past his head and embedded itself into the wall of the elevator behind him. The Avengers all stared blandly as they listened to the sound of Bob’s girly shriek fading as the elevator descended.
The Avengers all got settled in on the couches, flopping to the cushions like battle weary ragdolls as Thor stooped to talk to Ellie. Wade and Peter settled in next to each other, Peter leaning his head on Wade’s shoulder while Wade leaned his head back.
“My heartiest greetings are extended to you young Mrs.Wilson.” Ellie giggled as Thor bowed to the child “Pray thee, what hast thou done in our absence?”
Ellie perked up “I’ve been drawing you guys of course!”
Tony popped up from where he had been sitting “Ah ha! no….no…nope…I’m gone….It never goes well for me when that kid draws…Bye! I’ll be in my lab!….”
Natasha kicks the armored seat of his Iron man suit as he tries to edge past “stop being a jerk and sit your shiny metal ass down, you don’t refuse drawings from kids.”
Tony looked like he was going to protest but a venomous look from Natasha seemed to take any real fight from him. He sat back down, pouting and arms crossed.
“Fine! sheesh fine!” He sighs and motions to the child and leans back “Alright kid, whatcha got?”
Ellie grins and starts to rummage through the papers on the floor “Ok so I’ve got some Ideas!!”
Its then that Bruce returned in a new pair of pants and a t-shirt “What did I miss? Ideas for what?”
Ellie grins wider and every Avenger is suddenly far too aware of just who’s daughter she is “IDEAS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR SUPERHEROING OF COURSE!!!!”
The Avengers all gave each other a worried look as Ellie sorted through her papers.
“OK Aunty Nat!” Natasha straightened at the mention of her name as she was presented with the first drawing.
“OK AUNTY! Picture you! With SPIDER POWERS!!!”
The Avengers all leaned in to see the drawing in Natasha’s hands.
The scribbly Black Widow in the picture seemed to be screaming, her mouth full of sharp fangs and two additional arms below her normal arms, all four arms seemed to be flailing while shooting spiderwebs. a red black widow insignia was adorned onto her chest.
Natasha considered the drawing for a moment. “Wonderful. Though I would like to point out that the red symbol is not very conducive to stealth missions and would likely draw fire…”
Tony raises an eyebrow at the super spy “Really? THATS the problem you have with this? You have FOUR FUCKING ARMS!”
“The more arms to strangle you with now shut up and let her show us her drawings”
Professor Banner continues to look over the drawing “how do you propose we give her extra arms?”
Ellie shrugs dismissively and gently punches the professor on the shoulder “You’re smart, you’ll figure it out! Now I have some ideas for you too!”
The professor begins to sweat.
“You know how you always stretch out your pants when you go all jolly green giant at the bad guys?”
Tony and Clint snigger at the child’s phrasing while Bruce tentatively nods.
“Well my Idea is that you DON’T wear pants”
Tony and Clint giggle louder, Natasha smacks them both upside the head.
Bruce looks even more worried “Excuse me??”
Ellie doesn’t seem to notice the commotion and presents her next drawing. “See dresses and skirts are way stretchier than boring old pants to they ought to stay on you better but then I remembered that not a lot of guys wear skirts unless they’re my dad, so whats LIKE a skirt but not??”
The team all leans forward to inspect the new drawing. Here a scribbly hulk stands proudly in a…….is that a kilt?
“A KILT!!!” Ellie squeals, obviously impressed by her own cleverness.
Clint falls off the couch he is laughing so hard.
“Ummm….” Banner falters under the child’s beaming gaze “yeah….I’ll look into that….”
Ellie turns to Thor “YOUR TURN!”
Thor grins back at the child “Aye I look forward to thy recommendations! pray thee, how dost I improve myself?”
Ellie leans in and cocks an eyebrow at the god “How do you feel about being a…. WEREWOLF!!!” This last word was punctuated with Ellie shoving a drawing into Thor’s face. Thor accepted the drawing and eagerly showed his teammates.
The drawing depicted a very hairy Thor, screaming, eyes crossed, his mouth full of fangs, bushy blonde tail.
Tony looked at the drawing and the jagged werewolf tail on drawing Thor’s backside.
“….Looks like he’s having a fiery explosion fart…..”
Ellie points to a necklace around drawing Thor’s neck “See thats a chunk of moon rock so you can be a werewolf whenever you want!”
Thor nodded and raised an eyebrow in question “Truely is it moon rock? I had thought it a piece of cheese.”
Ellie snatched the drawing back from the god “Its not a piece of cheese!!”
Thor raised a finger “Aye but consider! A cheese necklace may prove to be nigh indispensable on the battlefield! Hunger in the heat of battle is naught a trivial matter!”
Ellie squinted at the drawing and then at the God and nodded “….I didn’t think of that….”
Clint continued to laugh, his wheezing giggles muffled from where his face was pressed to the coffee table.
“OK BIRDMAN YOUR TURN!” Ellie poked the back of Clint’s head. Hawkeye raised his head to rest on his hand as he turned to face the child, his face still beet red from laughing. “OK kid shoot.”
Ellie presented the next drawing “Ok you’re already pretty cool…”
Clint grinned “why thank you!”
“But have you ever considered… KATANA ARROWS!!”
This drawing featured a screaming cross-eyed Hawkeye about to shoot a long squiggly sword from his bow.
Clint eyed the drawing “….Thats actually really cool….”
Deadpool looked at the drawing and nudges Hawkeye “Dude we should try that.”
Ellie turned to Captain America “OK Cap you next!”
Captain America nodded at the child and straightened his back.
“So you are really cool but have you ever considered….” Ellie handed him the next drawing “SWORDS AND NINJA STARS!!”
This Scribbly Captain America, like all the others, was screaming and cross-eyed. the drawing Captain America held one red katana and one white Katana while apparently shooting white ninja stars from his eye balls.
“Get it?” Ellie gestured to the drawing “It’s like the national anthem! the katana swords are your ‘broad stripes’ and the ninja stars are your ‘brights stars!!!!”
Natasha put a hand to her mouth to stifle a giggle and Steve nervously eyed the drawing.
“thank you…Ellie….But I think I’ll stick with my shield….”
Thor nodded approvingly at the drawing “Tis’ good advice brother…A sword is a noble weapon! There is nothing wrong with a diversification of weaponry! before I gained my hammer, I was oft to fight with a battle axe!”
Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his eyes “Thor, I’m not going to fight with swords…” “And why shant thee? a sword is a perfectly honorable weapon…befitting of royalty!”
“Wait a second…It that?….” Tony squinted at the drawing.
The Captain america drawing was set on a beach. In the left hand corner was a perfectly innocuous figure sprawling on the sand in a red bikini. Innocuous except for the blue dot on the chest that was obviously supposed to represent the arc reactor in Tony’s chest.
“IS THIS ME????”
Iron man stooped to the floor and scooped up the rest of Ellie’s drawings. Again and again he was depicted in pinup poses, in either bikini’s or short skirts.
“WHAT THE HELL???” drawing after drawing of perky butted winking kissy-faced Tonys flitted about the room as he flipped through one after another.
“ARE THESE ALL ME??”
Ignoring the panicking millionaire, Peter leaned down to his step-daughter “What about us Ellie?” Deadpool leaned down too “Yeah baby-girl, any suggestions for us?”
Ellie hugged her dad and her step-dad “You guys are already perfect”
Wade and Peter hugged their daughter between them, both planting a kiss to her temples. Peter leaned back to face Ellie and kissed her forehead “Come on Ellie, lets get you home…” Peter placed Ellie on Wade’s shoulders and took Wade’s hand in his own. Their little makeshift family leaving with grins on their faces.
Iron man laid on the floor surrounded by about thirty pinup versions of himself.
“…..Why?” he defeatedly whispered to himself.
Natasha sat on his armored chest perusing the pinups. She nodded approvingly as she flipped through them.
“These are DEFINITELY going up in your office” she announced.