bruce wayne is mean to his robins

anonymous asked:

BATFAM PLAYING CARDS AGINST HUMANITY

-they are all so dirty when they play this game and if Alfred were to ever see them, they would all feel his Disappointment in their very souls because he did not raise this type of child

-Tim is surprisingly very good at the game and often wins when they all play together

-Damian is not allowed to play because the rest of the kids do not want to have to explain what the cards mean to an impressionable youth such as Damian

-Jason is the best judge out of all of them because he has the filthiest sense of humour and will find most of the cards entertaining

- Bruce low-key wants to cry because these are his CHILDREN and it felt like only yesterday that they were little and now here they are talking about “Daniel Radcliffe’s delicious asshole”

So I have been checking up discussions from last year about Santa Claus being Black and how much of an unnecessary controversy it caused and it got me thinking, does the public even know if Batman was white or do people just assume he is? cuz lets be real, the man is covered from head to toe and only appear at nights, that’s not enough to know someone ethnicity so what if every kid in Gotham believe that Batman is the same race as them and will not allow someone to tell them otherwise?

.

White kid: But why do you think Batman is black?!

Black kid: Why do you think he isn’t?

White kid: Why? have you see his chin skin? its white so how can he be black?

Black kid: Heelloo, black people with vitiligo exist so….

White kid: Bu- thats-….that’s just an unlikely to thing to be. Thats all. 

Korean kid: Well if you’re so hang up on skin color then Batman might be Korean? we have fair skin too.

White kid: What?? how can he be Korean if he doesn’t have Asian eyes??

Korean kid: Ah, well not all of us have “Asian Eyes” and even if we do, Batman has his mask on him at all time, so how do you know he doesn’t have “asian eyes” under there?

White kid: Because I’m being logical and going by facts unlike you.

Arab kid: Well if you really wanna be “logical” wouldn’t it make the most sense if Batman was middle-eastern?

White kid: And how does THAT make any sense?!?

Arab kid: Well I mean the current Robin is obviously Arab and unlike all the other Robins he refer to Batman as “father” which would mean Batman is his father so it would make sense if Batman too was the same ethnicity as his son.

White kid: Okay all of you really need to stop attacking me right now because Batman is white just like Jesus is >:(

Arab kid: Oh boy if you think Jesus was white then I got some news for you…

“He fights your fight. Lives your life. I don’t give a @#$% what you call him, you’re his father.”
- Green Arrow to Batman, Green Arrow/Black Canary #5

I’m actually warming up to the Rebirth redesigns, kinda. I mean, it’s weird that Robin has more red than Red Robin and I think I’ll be forever mourning Nightwing’s finger slips but ya know…
Drawing Cass fighting is. so. much. fun.

Arrow family / Flash family / Green Lanterns / Amazons

  • batman comics: batman is super sad because his parents are dead, and is either angsting with his alternative universe father, dramatically looking off into the night after parents are mentioned in any capacity, or staring up at a large portrait of them
  • me: [barely awake, drooling, 'kill me now' written on forehead]
  • batman comics: "jason was the best", batman calls robin "kiddo" and "smart pup", family portraits, batman taking his kid to a baseball game, batman taking his other kid to a rock concert, "i think of dick and tim and my life seems that much richer", batman grieves for his lost children deeply
  • me: [tears streaming down my face, cheering, nothing but praise, howls endlessly]
Bat Aunt: Part 8

Prompt: How Bruce Wayne’s life changes when a little sister is thrown into the mix

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7


“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you right, can you repeat that?”

    “I adopted another child.”

    You close your eyes, brace yourself for the incoming headache, and let out a sigh, “That’s what I thought you said.” You plop down into your office chair. “I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone with Alfred. He’s always had a hard time saying no to you.”

    You watch as Bruce rolls his eyes, “He’s a kid, not a puppy. He was lifting the tires off the Batmobile. He’s entirely too thin, and he’s living on the street.”

    “How are he and Richard getting along?”

    Bruce smiles, “You know Dick. He’s always been great with kids. And now that he’s splitting his time between Gotham and the Titans… well, it just makes sense.”

    You log onto your computer, “Yeah. I saw the pictures of his new suit. Were the finger stripes his idea, or yours?”

    Bruce lets out a laugh, “Dick was born to be in the center ring.”

    “What’s his name?”

    “Jason. And I’m sure he would love to meet his wonderful Aunt Y/N.”

    You smile, “Well, of course he would. I’m amazing. Now tell me, do you plan on having him take the Robin mantle?”

    Bruce finally takes a seat, “He has what it takes, but I’m being cautious. The more training the better I think.”

    You smile, “I can’t help but agree. I’ll stay at the Manor while I’m in town, and get to know my new nephew.”

    Bruce leans back, “Does that mean, you might just knock off early?”

    You lean forward, “What are you up to, Bruce Wayne?”

    Your brother gives you an easy smile, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

    You roll your eyes, “You’ve been talking to Barry again, haven’t you?”

    Bruce doesn’t even bother pretending, “He says you’ve been pulling a lot of late nights.”

    “No more than usual.”    

    He groans, “Wasn’t the entire idea behind you moving to Central City and moving in with Barry, actually living with him? Having a life outside of work?”

    You shrug, and a moment of silence lapses between the two of you, “What’s going on, kid? Barry says you’ve been really distant lately. You’re pulling away from him, you barely return my calls, Dick says you’re answering emails with only one or two words, and you’re refusing Alfred’s face time.”

    You run your tongue over your teeth, “Bruce, I have a lot to do. I’ll try and stop by tonight.”

    Your brother scowls, “So, you’re going from staying at the Manor, to trying to stop by.” You don’t say anything, and he sighs, “Fine. I’ll talk to you later. If you pick up.” You wince as he walks out. You scrub your hands over your face before turning around to look at Gotham’s skyline.

    You’d been living in Central City for two years now. You’d been happier than you’d ever been before. But slowly, you’d found yourself homesick. You missed the manor and your family, and any reminder of them made you resent Barry just a tad. You knew he couldn’t leave Central City… but you missed your home.

    You get lost in the sight of your home. You watch as the daylight fades and the buildings slowly light up. You listen to the police sirens, and the faint sound of live music coming from the bars. Finally, the need to be on the streets overtakes you. You grab your coat and make your way out of the office.

    You find yourself sitting on a park bench. You watch the people walk by. You can’t help but smile. You feel at peace for the first time in months. Knowing what you have to do, you begin your walk back to the office. You’re passing an alley when you hear it. The grunts and groans of someone being beat up.

    It’s the flash of red that catches your eye. You turn and watch as the young boy searches through the pockets of the unconscious man on the street. You smile as you walk further down the alley, the click of your heels drawing his attention. “Now, I know my brother wouldn’t approve of this.”

    The boys scowls at you, “And your brother would be?”

    “Your mentor. Jason Todd, right?”

    His eyes go huge, and you motion with your head for him to follow you. He drops the wad of cash on top of the man’s chest before following you. You dig out a spare pair of clothes from the back of your car. One of Dick’s old outfits. He changes in the car while you wait outside.

    When he knocks twice on the window, you slip into the driver’s seat. He says nothing as you drive to your destination. You smile as you pull to a stop, and he follows you in. It’s been months since you’ve been in, but you’re greeted like it’s only been a day. You go to your usual booth, and Jason slides in across from you.

    You catch him staring at you, “If you have a question, I recommend asking it.”

    “Why didn’t you take me home?”

    “Because, I’m the cool aunt. That means bailing you out of bad situations and not telling my brother when you’re doing something stupid. That being said, you sneak out again, I’ll make sure you never make it into those tights again.”

    He scowls, “I’ve been training for two months. I’m ready.”

    You smile, “You’re over eager.”

    “Let me guess, Dick wasn’t?”

    You raise an eyebrow, “Dick had eight years of circus training to propel him forward. From the looks of it, you’re a small time thief.”

    He scowls, “This is part of being the cool aunt?”

    “This is me making sure my brother actually lets you out on the streets some day. He finds out about that stunt and you won’t even be allowed in the cave.” Silence lapses between you. You chat with Diane when she takes your orders.

When she’s gone, Jason asks, “Has he always been such a stick in the mud? Bruce, I mean.”

You stare at the boy, “He’s better now than when he was a kid. He kept himself very isolated after our parents died.”

“He was there, when they were killed?”

You nod, and he leans back in his seat. “He’s not all that bad. I mean he teaches me

some pretty cool things, and my new school is pretty cool.”

You smile, “You like school?”

He nods, “They offer a bunch of literature classes. It’s awesome.” And just like that you

watch the icy exterior melt away. Jason entertains you with stories from school. You don’t realize how late it is until Lew gives the signal to start cleaning up.

You drive Jason home, and give him your cell phone number. “Call me anytime you need it.”

He smiles, tosses out a “Thanks for the food, Aunt Y/N.” And runs inside. You pull away from your family home with ease. It takes a bit of time to get to the airport, and you’re on the next flight out.

You land in Central City at three a.m. and you nearly fall asleep on the ride home. Bone tired you open the door to the apartment and you freeze. You walk further in, to find a red blur zipping around the apartment.

It stops at the sight of you. Barry’s voice is soft, “Hey.”

You smile, “Hey.”

A moment of silence ticked by before Barry starts talking, “You’re homesick. I should have realized it sooner. It really was stupid of me. I mean your entire family is in Gotham, your company’s headquarters are there. You’re done setting up the satellite office here, you’ve been done for months, and to be honest I should have seen it earlier. You need a challenge, and Gotham provides that both professionally, and superhero wise. So I put in my notice at work, and Gotham PD has already taken me on. They were kind of desperate actually. And you own the apartment building, so we don’t have to worry about breaking the lease. I figure we could live at the manor for a few months, and we could get our own place close by, or maybe our own wing if you want to stay there. Wow that sounds weird … and I’m babbling. But Y/N I love you something fierce and I don’t want to lose you …”

By the time he’s done talking, he’s actually out of breath. You take the three steps needed to reach him, before throwing your arms around his neck, and kissing him. When you pull back you say, “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, but I don’t want you to give up everything for me.”

His voice is soft, “I’m not giving anything up. I don’t have much left here. Iris is married, and pregnant. Joe is getting ready to retire, Wally can more than handle the City, and to be completely honest I’d follow you to the ends of the Earth, because Y/N you’re my home.”

You kiss him again, long and slow, before pulling back and asking the question you’d intended all along, “Barry Allen, will you marry me?”

Avengers, Assemble!

Pairings- Damian Wayne x Sister!Reader

Word Count- 1556

Hopefully, this will be fluffy. I got the idea when a kid in my skating class made me promise to go over to her house and play with her.

Keep reading

Rockabye

A little over a month ago, I posted a request that was about Damian coming to live with Dick and his s/o and seeing them as his new family and this is the part 2 to that! Thank you so much for sending in this request and I am quite sorry it took such a long time for me to post this! I hope you enjoy reading this!

ONE


“What does this mean?” You ask Dick when he opened the letter he had received from Bruce. Dick lets out a sigh before shaking his head. “Dick, come on, tell me – I deserve to know too.”

Dick looks away from the letter to stare at you. He brings you closer to him, wrapping his arms around your torso and you gingerly wrap your arms around Dick’s body – you can feel how tense he is and whatever the letter was about, it was nothing good. You can feel Dick kissing your temple a couple of times before pulling away to look at you.

“It really hurts me to say this,” Dick shakes his head and you can hear the hurt in his voice, “Bruce wants Damian back and he says… if we do not hand Damian over, he will be seeing us in court.” You let out a gasp, your hand flying over to cover your mouth.

Bruce had only recently come back from his long disappearance and despite how you had been over the moon with his reappearance initially, that feeling has long gone the moment you hear those words from Dick. You are afraid of what’s going to happen to your entire family and you also know just how important family is to Dick too. What scares you the most is the fact that Bruce wants to bring this entire thing to court and you know just how many connections he has and that scares you a whole lot.

“But Damian’s happy with us!” You exclaim as quietly as you can, reminding yourself that your baby is still asleep and that Damian could be eavesdropping your conversation at any given time – he does it a lot and you have yet to break that habit of his. “Does Bruce not know that? Why is he doing this to us, Dick?” You grip his shirt tight in your hand and Dick sighs before shaking his head.

“I’m, I think I will go and talk to Bruce.” Dick gives you one last hug before pulling away. “Maybe we can come to compromise and I know if I let Bruce know just how nicely Damian is adapting to life with us, it would be alright.”

You look at him skeptically. You really want to trust Dick’s words – he has rarely ever let you down – but you still have that doubt at the back of your mind.

“Do you trust me?” Dick immediately asks you as he holds your cheek in his palm and you nod your head. He gives you a small smile but that, in itself, is already enough to reassure you that Dick knows what he is doing.

“Of course I trust you, Dick. I trust you with my entire being.” You tell him earnestly and Dick nods his head.

“That’s enough for me, Y/N. I’ll be back soon alright?” He presses his lips against yours a few times. “Just make sure to keep Damian in the house – I really want to talk to Bruce first and if worse comes to worse, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.” Dick smiles at you and you give him a small smile.

You are somewhat thankful that your son is still asleep at that moment so when Dick left the house to go talk to Bruce, you sought out Damian. He is currently reading through another history book and you smile as you lean against the door frame.

Ever since Damian came to live with you, he has mellowed down – obviously, he still goes on missions and patrols and can be quite bratty every now and then but he definitely has mellowed down. You liked to think that being with your family, Damian has gotten a second chance at being a kid.

“You seem to be enjoying that book.” You softly call out, not wanting to surprise Damian. He looks up from his book and a small smile graces his face.

“How are you, Mother?” Damian closes the book he had been reading and sets it aside before sitting up. You slowly walk over to where he had been laying down and sit down beside him. Damian immediately leans against you – one thing you noticed ever since Damian came to live with Dick and you is that he is very affectionate with you when the two of you are alone – and he wounds an arm around your waist.

You drape your arm over his shoulder, pulling him against you. “I’m fine, Damian. Just worried.” You finally remember to answer his question and Damian pulls away to look at you. You give him a small smile before pushing his head against your shoulder once more. “Nothing to worry about, Damian – I trust Dick and I know things will turn out alright.”

You have faith that Dick knows what he is doing and you also have faith that Bruce will come to understand that Damian is better off living with Dick and you. You would not even try to stop Bruce from coming over and seeing Damian – after all, he is still Damian’s biological father.

“Tt.” Damian shakes his head but proceeds to talk about his entire day – he had managed to build his own kite from scratch and given enough time, his kite will probably be able to deploy miniature bots that can track down enemies once he fixes the system to deploy them. Although you have very little understanding about everything Damian had just said, it really is nice listening to him talk about his day. “I also read the Little Prince to beloved brother.” Damian tells you – this is also one of the things Damian loved to do: reading books to your son. You find it very endearing that he takes some time off every night to read something to your son.

“Thank you, Damian.” You press your lips atop his head and Damian shrugs his shoulders.

“Tt. I should be thanking you, mother.” Damian replies and you chuckle before nodding your head. You’re just going to let Damian have the last word today.

Prodigies Part 1 (Jon Kent x Reader: Damian Wayne x Reader)

Anon: “Can I request reader as the new wonder gal and forming a team with damian and jon kent”

Schninner: Whew! And done! Sorry this took a while squad, I’ve just been so busy with work and school, but I promise there will be more stories this weekend! And who know! I might even finish up requests! Anyways, I hope you like this anon, I really enjoyed writing it! OH! I was also thinking about making this an ongoing series, where The Wonder Gal (you as the reader) just is having these missions with the boys, and I’m up for any suggestions on what they should do next! Thanks squirtles!

(Reader is a Girl)

Key: [H/L] Hair Length [H/T] Hair Type [H/C] Hair Color

Warnings: … None?

Word Count: 725

Masterlist

Part 1 * Part 2


“But mom!” You groaned, your head rolled back on your shoulders so you could look your Amazonian mother in the eyes. “I don’t want to go!”

Your mother bent over, adjusting the small, tiara on your head that matched hers. “Why not? I thought you wanted to meet new people, try new things?” She brushed a stray strand of your [H/C] hair out of your [E/C] eyes.

You narrowed your eyes, crossing your arms you crossed your arms over your white sleeveless uniform shirt with a golden W across the chest, your bottom lip sticking out in a pout.

“Yes, new people, as in, not them!”

Your mother gently chided you, sternly patting your cheek, before standing up once more, “You are an Amazon [F/N], Amazons don’t pout. It makes us look weak.”

“Besides, “Your mother continued, adjusting the sheathed sword at her side, before walking into the entrance of the bat cave, “all great teams require a woman to keep the men in check.”

“Father, this is preposterous.” Damian hissed to Bruce, hearing the nearing footsteps of wonder woman and his new teammate.  “Kent and I do well on our own.”

“Yes, that’s right, in fact you do so well That Superman and I have had to interfere several times in the past.”

Damian clicked his tongue making an irritated clicking noise. “They were simple mistakes; anyone could have made them.”

‘which is exactly why this is happening.” Bruce replied calmly, “trust me, this’ll be good for the both of you.”

Damian clicked his tongue once more and briskly walked over to where Jon stood, he halted next to the younger boy and crossed his arms. “He’s not budging on the matter; did you manage to get your father to see it our way?”

No response from the boy of steel, his young face was twisted into a look of deep thought, his piercing blue eyes pointing toward the entrance to which their new team mate would inevitably make her appearance. Damian looked to his friend, waving a hand in front of Jon’s Face, he shouted, “Kent?”

Unfazed by Damian’s outburst, Jon kept His eyes trained on the doorway, “I wonder if she’s nice…?”

Damian groaned, “Not You too Kent!”

“Ahh, I see the pace hasn’t changed at all!” A commanding, yet warm voice boomed throughout the bat cave.

“Hello to you too Diana, “Bruce replied as Wonder woman walked over to him with a young girl following close behind, shaking his hand with hers while giving him a friendly clap on the back, then turned to Clark to do the same. The girl stood close to the Amazon, a smile on your face, but Damian could tell that you wanted to be here as much as he did.

“This is my daughter, [F/N] [L/N], or Wonder Gal.” Diana told Bruce and Clark, motioning for the girl.

“Nice to meet you! It’s a real honor!” You beamed as she shook their hands.

Bruce gave Diana a quizzical look, “[L/N]?”

“Her fathers.” She replied simply, with no intention of giving any more information.

“noted.” He replied, before turning to Damian and Jon.

Jon was at his father’s side in a flash, while Damian took all the sweet time he needed.

Jon was the first to be introduced, his eyes sparkling with excitement as he thrusted his hand forward for you to shake. Pumping your hand up and down he chirped, “Hi! I’m Jon Kent! But you might know me better as super boy!”

A tense smile pressed at your lips as you politely responded with a “Nice to meet you Jon.”

Damian on the other hand remained silent, with his arms crossed across his chest and his eyes narrowed. He observed you, your [H/L] [H/T] [H/C] hair and [E/C] eyes that seemed to pierce his very soul, and especially your height. You had at least a good 4 inches on him, meaning that he was still the shortest team member.

His scowl deepened as t=he thought of this, causing Bruce to give him a gentle, yet commanding nudge. Damian reluctantly extended his hand and shook your hand. “Damian Wayne, Robin.” He quickly dropped your hand, and crossed them once more across his chest, which earned him another nudge from Bruce.

He sighed and rolled eyes at his father, “Welcome to the team.”

I keep picturing what would happen if Damian gets kidnapped. He obviously would, somehow, since his dad is THE most influential and powerful businessman in the city.

Just imagine, the kidnapper calls Bruce for a ransom, and Bruce is all panicky and desperately screaming into the phone like “DON’T KILL HIM PLEASE I BEG YOU”, and the Kidnapper replies “Just give me the money and I’ll spare his life” and Bruce is just “I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU YOU DUMB FUCK”

Lost Sister

Prompt ~ Can I request one where the reader had lost her memories at young age and got adopted by Barry, only for years later to turn out to be Damian’s sister? 

Extra ~ Damian Wayne x Sister!Reader


 Life is full of obstacles, especially in yours. You don’t recall much from your childhood or any early memories at that. You were an orphan, the only place that came close to a home was an orphanage. One day as a young 10 year old a blonde man came by. The kids whispered around saying he was looking to adopt a baby. Which sent your hopes down to the bottom, yet that day you had a new home and a new dad, Barry Allen.

 Barry was an amazing father, it was hard getting use to being in a new environment but you soon adapted. Iris became a mother to you, she was always there for you and helped you through rough times. Everything seem perfected, besides Barry being ‘the fastest man alive’ which kind of freaked you out at first. Once you found out his not so little secret a whole new world opened up to you, a dangerous one. One full of supervillains and vigilantes, that you soon found yourself apart of.


 Gotham Academy was okay, sure it had snobby rich kids but it also had nice people there too. It seemed to be an average day, well as average as it can be in Gotham. You were currently checking blood samples in the lab to connect to your family tree, which didn’t really make sense to you but at least you would know what blood type you were. Your partner Damian was doing the same, you both had become close due to your nightly activities and both your parents being in the Justice League.

“Here.” Damian said handing you your results, it wasn’t anything surprising to you just average results. Damian peeked over your shoulder curios of what blood type you were just in case he needed a quick blood donation.

“What?” His voice faltered.

He snatched your paper, “Hey!” You protested, you watched curiously as he put his paper besides yours, his eyes scanning between both sheets.

“T-this can not be possible.” Damian’s eyes widened, “What was it?” You asked curiously unaware of what was happening.

“Y-you’re my sister.” He whispered, your mouth dropped open in shock. You snatched both papers and looked over them, you both had the same DNA. Every single bit, you looked up in shock.

“How? When- what?” You gasped out, feelings overflowing you.

“You’re my brother?” You faced Damian, just as you finished your sentence the bell rung, the last period of the day.

“Quickly we must get to the bat cave.” He hastily put all his stuff away into his bag, you doing the same, and rushed you out to his motorcycle.


“So you’re telling me that my innocent precious [Y/N] is your daughter?” Barry asked flabbergasted.

“Well biologically speaking, yes.” Bruce responded, while you sat shocked behind him.

“You won’t take her away fro me.” Barry said speeding over to your side.

“She’s my daughter too.” Bruce interjected.

“She is also my sister!” Damian growled.

“Barry is my dad.” You cleared up, “No offense Bruce, but I do still want to get know my biological father, if he’d like too?” You asked looking back to Bruce.

“I would be glad.” Bruce smiled sincerely at you.

“This doesn’t change our relationship what so ever.” You told Barry, holding his hand.

“This changes everything!” Tim butted in.

“What do you mean?” Barry asked.

“Damion can’t use the excuse of being the true child of Batman! When there’s actually two!” Tim replied, a grin on his face.

“This does not change nothing Drake! I am still The Son of Batman.” Damian roared, prepared to lunge him.

“Jesus my family is all types of messed up.” You muttered under your breath.

Things I love abt the Lego Batman Movie (Part 2 bc this movie is amazing)

- Harley’s roller skates!
- Galifinakis’s amazing performance as the Joker
- “You…complete me” “HAHAHAHAHAHA”
- Bruce’s comments during Barbara’s speech (“Woo, let’s hear it for BATMAN” “He has aged phenomenally”)
- The fact that Bruce has been Gotham’s most eligible bachelor ‘for like, 90 years in a row
- The Joker’s coat tails!
- The references to Harley Quinn’s former title of Harleen Quintzel
- Barbara KICKING ASS at the gala
- The Joker’s purple and green color combo
- The Joker and his gang doing yoga in the prison courtyard
- “She has no idea what’s going on in my super mind.” “Super mind?” “//GASP// Smoke bomb!”
- Batman hasn’t noticed an entire child running around his mansion
- Dick keeps the shark repellent as a souvenir
- “You have beautiful abs, sir.” “It’s my curse to bear.”
- “I like that one!” “That one is culturally insensitive.”
- “Now I’m free, now I’m moving! Come on Batman, let’s get grooving!”
- AGAIN, DICK IS 100% OKAY WITH HAVING TWO DADS!!
- “Now I have two dads, and one of them is Batman!”
- Robin is 100% ready to do anything for Batman
- The references to Batman VS Superman in Batman and Superman’s dialogue
- Batman pretending like he’s not sad after finding out about the party being held without him
- “I’ve already got my catchphrase. Tweet tweet I’m on the street!”
- Batman feeling pride for the first time
- “So, what’s the vigilante policy on cookies?” “UNLIMITED”
- The song that plays whenever Batman sees Barbara
- The amount of weapons Batman is able to hide in his bat suit
- “Namaste, Batman”
- Joker just wants Batman to admit that he loves him-I mean, hates him.
- MICHAEL CERA’S PERFORMANCE AS ROBIN/DICK!!!!
- The Joker’s questionable title as a bad guy by the other villains in the phantom zone
- The Joker in denial that he has vulnerabilities
- “I’m so bad I got myself thrown into this…'heck hole’…on purpose!”
- Ralph Fiennes is in the movie but he doesn’t voice Voldemort
- “You want us to make the rivers of Gotham City run red with his blood?” “WHOA-”
- The giant projection of the Joker’s face in the sky after he escapes the phantom zone
- The Joker’s game show introductions for all the phantom zone villains
- Daleks are called ‘British Robots’
- “Are you trying to tell me that Bruce Wayne is Batman….s roommate?” (Also the fact that Sauron doesn’t bother to correct him on it)
- “Haha, I’m rubbing my butt all over your stuff.”
- Batman-Robin beatbox duo!
- “Alfred, what are you doing.” “I missed the 60’s.”
- Alfred runs with his hands folded behind his back
- The Joker making fun of Batman’s secret stash of RomCom movies. (“OH, SERENDIPITY?” “Serendipity?! I love that movie!)
- The 'pewpewpew’ sounds everyone makes while firing a weapon.
- “Alright guys, until I get back, rope’s in charge.”
- “Alfred, you better un-time out me right now.” “No! Not until you un-time out Master Dick!”
- Batman diving from the ship to save Robin!!
- Myself legitimately thinking that Alfred was gonna die
- Sauron’s very anticlimactic death
- The Batman-Barbara romantic subplot never really exists in favor of elaborating on Batman and Joker’s character development
- Batman shooing away the Scuttler like a dog
- The villains acting like supportive friends to Joker during his breakup
- “You have never once said the words…I hate you, Joker.”
- “Listen, Batman. I…hate you.” “Awwww!” “Now you say it.” “…Me too.” “//FRUSTRATED SHOUTS//”
- “I am NOT gonna be part of a one-sided relationship ANYMORE!”
- Batman revealing his identity as Bruce Wayne to Robin before getting sucked into the phantom zone
- And of COURSE Batman finally telling Joker that he loves him…I mean, hates him. Because of course they’re totally not gay. Not at all.

SOme lego batman hcs!

-joker and robin do a cute magic show/circus act together for bruce and try to make him smile, whoever makes him smile first wins. they both wind up winning in the end when joker does a card trick and coughs up a card that isnt even the card robin picked and he spent a good ten minutes coughing up various cards before realizing he never asked for robins card back. they’re very good at magic shows.

-whenever bruce says hes proud of robin, the kid genuinely tears up and gets really emotional, usually resulting in hugs and a trip to get ice cream in the batmobile.

-barbra insists on helping cook dinner a lot and alfred really appreciates the help, even if he insists that he doesnt need it. alfred refuses to ask for help when he needs it, taking after bruce in that aspect. once everyone else moves in they all help him out a lot and he feels very loved from it.

-alfred and robin play croquet together every saturday morning, while bruce is asleep. one day bruce walks out and sees them and they all play a game together that ends in bruce grabbing the croquet ball and hurling it into the ocean.

-robin can speak spanish and french roughly. alfred teaches him french a bit more fluently and they have conversations together, much to the bewilderment of everyone around them. usually they just make jokes about the others.

-barbra and bruce teach robin some hand to hand combat skills and robin picks them up very quickly, often accidentally winning fights a bit more roughly than expected. he always feels bad when he hurts the others, even if they say its okay. hes surprisingly powerful for his size

-robin and bruce make little mixtapes together and keep them in the batmobile at all times. once joker accidentally locked himself in the batmobile and listened to all of them, much to  bruce’s embarrassment.

-even though joker knows that bruce wayne is batman, he likes to pretend theyre different people so his fun isnt spoiled with bruce’s pretty and delicate image. but that doesnt mean he wont mess with bruce wayne a little along the way

-harley, pamela (poison ivy), and selina (catwoman) are in a poly relationship and whenever joker is having boy troubles (thinking about batman) they all have a girls night and hang out and paint eachothers nails and stuff. he’s, in ivys words, like the sister they never asked for but got anyway and love regardless.

-joker picks robin up from school one day and sees some kids picking on him. he tells bruce about it and bruce seems upset but takes a deep breath and decides to let him deal with it himself and see how it goes. when he picks him up again they keep doing it, mostly one kid in particular. robin is too anxious to fight back.  joker makes the executive decision to drive to the kids house and show robin how to stand up for himself. robin winds up breaking his nose. joker is unspeakably proud. so is everyone else.

Bruce [to the Press]: I can assure you that my family is back on track and no longer in any trouble.

Lucius: *whispering* Not according to today’s paper.

Bruce: *tightens his grip on the podium* Hrrn. What have we done this time? 


I mean, did Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin have anything to do with five million-worth of property damage last night fighting off criminals in Gotham City? Nah.

I mean, we ALL know Damian listens to music. ALL THE TIME, Every chance he gets. But like, what kind of music does he have on his phone? What Genres? What’s his favourite song? Does he have a favourite artist? Favourite Genre? Does he have playlists he listens too when in a certain mood?

Dami, love, what kinda music ya got there? I’m sure we all would like to know.

Friends?

 Request: Can you write an imagine where the reader is the daughter of some big business man and is threatened bc, “hey your dad’s is rich,” and Batman and Robin are assigned to protect her until it blows over, and during this time Dami begins to form a crush on her? Please and thank you! 

“Are you sure they’ll come?”

 Commissioner Gordon was on the roof, accompanied by a man. With the three of them was the Bat Signal shining in the sky. Thumps came from behind; causing the men to turn. There stood Batman. His voice low and grumbled asked, “Why did you call us?” Gordon opened his mouth to answer; but the man put his arm on Gordon’s chest. “You need to help me. My daughter’s being targeted. They want our money.” 

 “Tt.”  The men turned to the corner, where Robin stepped out. “What do you suppose we’re supposed to do?” The men stepped out and stood in front of the duo. “Please, take her until we can find him,” he stopped his sentence, waiting for them to speak. Batman nodded. “Where-”

 “I’m here.”

 You stepped out from behind the door, walking to you father. “We’ll hide her and look for the men threatening her,” he gestured to younger one. “Robin, take her to the batmobile.” He took you by the arm and grappled into the sky with you. Without warning.


 Riding back to the cave with them was quiet. Which would be an understatement. Neither of them talked; the only sound being the street under the car. When it came to a stop, they stepped out of the car; Batman coming to the side and helping you out. “Stay here until we can find a place for you to stay.” The two of them went to the other side of the cave, leaving you. You nodded your head absently and began wandering around. Before you knew it, you were out of it and in some sort of mansion. Looking around, you made sure no one was there before you continue. 

 Damian shook his head as he followed his father. He had never felt happier to be on a mission. Sure he had seen attractive girls; but never one as beautiful as you. All he knew was that he had to protect you. So when you weren’t where he left you, he set out to find you. 

 Walking around, you stopped in front of a painting. Your eyes widened, realizing where you were. Backing up and turning, you ran into something hard. “What are you doing up here?” There stood Robin. “You’re Damian Wayne. That means that… Batman is Bruce Wayne?” 

 He sighed and lead you towards the stairs. “Father figured you might find out. There’s a room set up for you.” You found yourself inside of a room. Your fingers ran over the bed; feeling the silk sheets. Turning around, you found that he was gone. “Excuse me miss,” an older man stepped into the room. “I’ve left clothes on the bed for you to change into.” Then he made his way out. 

 Grabbing the clothes, you walked into the bathroom to change. Walking out, you saw that the boy was back. “If you don’t mind, I’ll be staying with you.” When he saw a smile spread across your face he added, “To be sure you’re safe until we can catch the men threatening you.” You yawned and made your way towards the bed. “I don’t know about you Damian, but I’m tired.” 

 Wiggling into the sheets, you turned to face him. He made his way towards the chair and laid in it. You closed your eyes and wrapped yourself in the blankets. Damian watched looked at you with adoration. You were beautiful before; but now you were stunning. It looked as if you had no worries. Before he Damian knew it he fell asleep watching you.


 You eyes fluttered open. Taking in the sight in front of you, making you laugh. There was Damian sprawled out across the chair. You reached out your hand and tapped him. As soon as you did he sat up straight and looked at you. “Y’know,” you laughed, “I don’t bite.” “I’m aware but what does this have to do with you waking me up?” 

 Sitting up you held your hand up. “You can sleep in the bed Damian.” “Tt.” Shifting over, you allowed him to crawl into the bed. You pulled the covers over the two of you. Slowly, you felt his hand hold yours. “Goodnight Damian.”


 You woke up to whispers in the room. “Grayson, I am going to maim you.” “Aww but Dami you and your girlfriend are so cute.” You turned over to see that Damian was awake and whispering harshly at a man by the door. He slowly put his hands up in surrender when he realised that Damian wasn’t letting down anytime soon. Walking out of the room, the door closed behind him.

 Damian looked down at you to see if you were awake. When h saw you staring at him he apologized. “I’m sorry my brother woke you up.” Laying beside you, he stared at your face; looking at you eyes and how beautiful you were. Over the weeks you’ve been here, he’s been captivated by you. This was the first time he’s ever felt this way about someone. And it scared him. He came out of his thoughts when your hand stroked his cheek. Damian flinched away from your touch. 

 Your eyes widened and you pulled back your hand. “I-uh, I shouldn’t have.”

 “Damian, Y/N”

 Both of your heads snapped to the door where Bruce stood. “Y/N, we’ve found the men threatening you. You can go home now.” You nodded and got up from the bed. “Damian, a word?” You watched as Damian walked to his father. Giving you one last look, he walked out and shut the door behind him.

 By the time you had your stuffed packed, Damian walked into the room. “Y/N, may I speak to you?” “Sure Damian.” He took your hand and guided it to the bed. When you sat, you laid your other hand on top of his. “Y/N,” he began. “Over the weeks that you have been here, I have grown close to you. And…” Damian stopped looking into your eyes. 

 He took a piece of your hair and tucked it behind your ear; all while blushing. “I would like it if we could remain friends after your return?” You frowned for a second, hoping that maybe he’d feel the same towards you. When he saw your face you quickly smiled; trying to cover it up. 

“I’d love to, Damian.” 

 AN: Idk how I feel about this. Haven’t been in the right state of mind while writing.

Sickness [Batboys]

A/N: This got really out of control idk man this wasn’t my initial plan… but I still liked it in the end XD

Pairing: Batboys x Sister!Reader

Warnings: Just a bit of language

Word Count: 1618

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Usually, you’d find any excuse to lie in bed in the morning, relaxing and escaping from responsibilities. However, this wasn’t the case. 

“Dick, please.“ you whined at your older brother, swatting his hand away when he tried to touch your forehead, though you were too weak to keep him away for long. 

”[F/N], you’re burning up.“ he stated worryingly, frowning at your pale face.

“I’m fine. I want to get up and walk.” you insisted in a scratchy voice. Lying in bed was proving to be very uncomfortable in your current condition. Everything was just not right to you and it was horrible. 

"But you’ll only make it worse.“ Dick stated, denying your request. 

"Please?” you asked softly, trying hard not to cough. 

"A no is a no.“ you heard Jason’s voice from the doorway, and instantly you groaned. You could probably win Dick’s heart, but you knew Jason would never let you leave no matter how many bribes you tried to make. 

"I hate you guys.” you muttered in defeat. 

"Nonsense, you love us.“ Dick claimed, grinning. 

"We’re only trying to help you [N/N].” Jason sighed, he himself checking your temperature and grimacing in disapproval. “Drake should be back any minute with the medicine. Where the fuck is the demon spawn?“ 

“Jason, watch your language.” Dick scolded, covering your ears, much to your annoyance. You were a teenager for heaven’s sake. 

"He claims he doesn’t want to be anywhere near me, he’s afraid he’d catch my sickness therefore throwing him off his game.“ you informed weakly. "And Dick, can you remove your hands?" 

"You’re kidding, right?” Jason rolled his eyes as Dick did as you requested. “His sister is bedridden and he’s scared of some sickness." 

"Hey, I am not that sick.” you protested. Your body betrayed you by making your throat itchy all the sudden, and you couldn’t help cough painfully afterwards.

Okay, so you were that sick. Your head was pounding, your entire body was burning up, your throat hurts like hell and whenever you coughed you found it hard to stop. Your coughing fits were so violent it pained you every time it happened. On top of that, you were unusually nauseous, preventing you from eating a single thing because it would just come out five minutes later.

“I’ll get some water.” Dick said in a concerned voice, rushing out of the room. You struggled to regain control of your body and shifted your position into a more comfortable one so it was less painful. 

You ended up turning to one side and curling your body slightly. You felt a hand rubbing your back soothingly, and surprisingly the little action helped.

“Don’t push yourself kid. You’ll only make it worse if you don’t rest up.” said Jason softly. Out of all his siblings, there was no doubt that Jason loved you the most. You never minded his foul language and loved his sense of humor. Many times you were his partner in teasing the fuck out of everyone. Of course, you weren’t as cruel as Jason, and nobody could stay mad at you for more than a day.

“Is death easier than this?” you groaned at him. He simply chuckled and shrugged.

“Hey, sorry I took so long.” Dick said as he entered the room holding a glass of water, Tim close behind him with a bag of what was undeniably medicine.

“You look really bad [F/N].” Tim commented as Jason helped you up so you could take the medicine. You swayed a bit because of the dizziness but managed to stand up right. 

“Here.” Tim opened the medicine and helped you take it. After that, you snuggled under your blanket and tried to have some rest.


You felt soft lips on the top of your head, stirring you awake. You opened your eyes and saw your father’s worried face.

"Hi dad.” you said in a cracked voice. You swallowed, wincing at the burning sensation.

“Hey… how are you feeling?” Bruce asked gently.

“Tired.” you mumbled, burying your face in your pillow. “Where’re the others?”

“They’re on patrol.” Bruce informed. You glanced outside and noticed that it was dark. How long had you been out? “Are you hungry?” You shook your head. “You haven’t eaten anything since this afternoon, are you sure? Alfred could make you chicken soup.”

“Dad, I don’t think my body will digest anything.” you stated. “Shouldn’t you be patrolling too?”

“The boys told me they’ll deal with it. I want to spend some time with you.” said Bruce.

“I’m not going to talk very much, and even if I do I sound like Gollum.” you chuckled weakly, swallowing the itch that threatened to emerge.

“I don’t mind.” He sat down on the edge of the bed and helped you sit upright. “If you want, I’ll tell you about my day.”

“I’d like that.”

Bruce stayed well into the night talking to you. He told you about the stack of work at Wayne Enterprise, the chaos of the paparazzi, the corrupted millionaires he had to meet and the update on the current case he and the boys were working on. He also informed that Stephanie and Cassandra briefly dropped by and even Barbara called. You were touched they were worried about you.

Eventually, you fell back asleep. You didn’t know how long you’ve been out for, but when you woke up a second time it was still dark and your father had left.

Sighing, you turned to grab the glass of water on the table and almost screamed when you saw Damian standing in the shadows.

“Dami, you scared me!” you exclaimed in a pathetic voice, though it was an improvement from earlier.

The said boy stepped into the light. You could see he still had his Robin costume on.

“What are you doing here?”

Damian’s cheeks turned a little red and he averted his gaze. “I-I wanted to check on you.” he admitted shyly, “I was… concerned about your health. You are family and you should be a priority.”

You felt touched that Damian Wayne was worried about you. You knew he had a heart of gold under that tough facade of his, and you spent enough time with him to be able to ruffle his hair and embrace him without getting a limb chopped off, but he would always deny admittance to any form of affection. This was the first time he said anything like that out loud.

“Thank you Damian.” you smiled, “your concern means a lot to me.” Your throat began to feel itchy again, so you reached for that glass of water and chugged it all down in one go. However, you immediately regretted it when you felt it coming back out. You gagged and the water spilled out of your mouth and onto the floor.

“[F-F/N]!” Damian cried, rushing to your side.

You were leaning off the edge of the bed, trying to stop that nauseous feeling. The water almost choked you and you couldn’t stop coughing. It was getting increasingly difficult to breathe.

“I-It’s gonna be okay!” Damian exclaimed, sounding panicked. You figured he never had to deal with a sick person before, maybe only cuts, internal bleeding and all the injuries that came with his night job.

He climbed on the bed and softly patted your back, holding your hair up and keeping you from falling headfirst onto the puddle of water your body rejected.

Somewhere along the way Alfred and Bruce also appeared by your side. After your unattractive little mishap, you rested on the bed, breathing heavily. Your eyes were watery and you just wanted this to be over.

“Here [F/N].” Bruce helped you off the bed. You grimaced at the mess you made, a mess Alfred would have to clean.

You made your way to the bathroom with the help of Bruce and Damian and washed your mouth. You couldn’t get that disgusting taste out no matter how much you tried.

Damian helped you back to bed while Bruce went to get another glass of water.

“Sorry Alfred.” you whispered, looking down.

“It’s no problem Miss [F/N].” the kind butler reassured, “you had no control over your body. Compared to the mess your siblings make, this is nothing.”

You laughed and sighed, finally feeling better. Damian was still by your side, studying you carefully in case you needed anything.

“It’s okay Dami. You can go to sleep now, I’m fine.” you said to the younger boy.

“I don’t trust the others to take care of you.” Damian protested.

“Hey, I’m hurt.” Dick said as he entered the room, followed by Tim and Jason. You mentally groaned; all of them in one room? It was a recipe for disaster, and judging by the exasperated look on his face, Alfred knew it too.

“What are you three doing here?” Damian hissed, his eyes narrowing.

“I’m here for [F/N].” Jason snapped, crossing his arms. He didn’t want to be with his brothers, but it seemed he had no choice.

“She’s in perfectly capable hands.” Damian growled.

“Yeah it totally seemed that way when you panicked just then.” Tim countered. Damian’s cheeks turned a brilliant hue of red.

“I didn’t see you do anything Drake. You were most likely too engrossed in your useless technology to notice!”

“Okay that’s enough.” Dick said, stepping up. “We’re all here to help [F/N], not give her another headache.” You glanced at him gratefully.

“Says the walking headache.” Jason muttered under his breath.

“Hey! That’s mean!” Dick whined.

And so the arguments started again, making you bury your head in your hands because you know there was no way in hell anyone was getting anymore rest that night.

  • Clark: Bruce, let's get real here, that boy needs to be in school.
  • Bruc: I knoooooooooow, but after he was expelled from Gotham Academy NO private school will take him. And I am NOT exposing Public school to my son, I love him but those poor kids don't deserve his madness.
  • Clark: I WANT to say that's a mean thing to say about your son...but true.
  • Bruce: The boy has FOUR pets, FOUR, and he's still grumpy all the time!
  • Clark: Well he did di-
  • Bruce: WE ALL DIED ONCE CLARK-I don't see YOU whining about it all the time.
  • Clark: Yeah...but I DO reminisce about it to myself quietly!
  • Bruce: </b> NOT the same.
Attempted Friend Murder

request (yes):  Could you do one with Damian with the sentence. “What a little attempted murder between friends”

word count: 531

A/N: y/h/n = your hero name

warning(s):  none???

Tagging: @bat-lakota @tim-help @queen-of-all-the-fandoms @just-a-girl-maybe @geeky-girl-394 @gokusanfan @ti0261 @clenf @lucianacornwell @angstytodd @starshipofgotham @crimesloversherlock @yj-tt-batfam-forlife @lovingmytelevision @aworldwideapart  @loverandomness2 @breecandraw @pinkwitch21 @schninner-writes-some-stuff @comicbookworm @timdrake-redrobin  @thevillainousnoble  @shittyflowerduck @kimianostalgia  @dylanobeminegrantgustin

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