N ext to me her thigh presses hard on my soft skin. it isn’t anything but safe. light pressure, a flare of awareness across my skin, and this moment in and out of focus.
O ur eyes meet. blue, brown, green, gray. a false sunrise of pinks clashed on blue skies in a terrible display of beauty. in those eyes lay just a little bit of beauty, just a little bit of everything. it seems like watching universes born and die in billions and billions of seconds, that planet’s floating dust come together and form explosions of rocky color, only to fall apart and float again. every color in the eye of a telescope is you.
R eal life crashes hard on my shoulders sometimes in the spaces between that freckle on my back and the one on my neck. this moment doesn’t have the taste of real life. it feels like waking up sharp and letting my eyes fall, watching colors dance across my eyelids in reds, oranges, pinks, golds and the skies over beaches and lakes and cities and towns. letting my mind draw itself up and float around at the top. listening to quiet air. no thoughts, no feelings, just this, out of word.
A nxiety pumps my heart, all that blood has nowhere to go. these veins were never made for fast track life full of scarlet passions and crimson furys and cherry lips and rose splotched skin, but a slow dream under yellow yolk suns and yellow honey’s slow drag and yellow flowers sway’s in time to light breezes. and then- your fingers are sharp when they dig into spaces between my thumbs and pinkies, and I am a fish caught on hooks after hours and hours of a glass still pond, dragged into a tossing salt ocean burning my mouth, tumbling my head.
So if you’ve ever picked out paint, you know that every infinitesimally different shade of blue, beige, and gray has its own descriptive, attractive name. Tuscan sunrise, blushing pear, Tradewind, etc… There are in fact people who invent these names for a living. But given that the human eye can see millions of distinct colors, sooner or later we’re going to run out of good names. Can AI help?
For this experiment, I gave the neural network a list of about 7,700 Sherwin-Williams paint colors along with their RGB values. (RGB = red, green, and blue color values) Could the neural network learn to invent new paint colors and give them attractive names?
One way I have of checking on the neural network’s progress during training is to ask it to produce some output using the lowest-creativity setting. Then the neural network plays it safe, and we can get an idea of what it has learned for sure.
By the first checkpoint, the neural network has learned to produce valid RGB values - these are colors, all right, and you could technically paint your walls with them. It’s a little farther behind the curve on the names, although it does seem to be attempting a combination of the colors brown, blue, and gray.
By the second checkpoint, the neural network can properly spell green and gray. It doesn’t seem to actually know what color they are, however.
Let’s check in with what the more-creative setting is producing.
Later in the training process, the neural network is about as well-trained as it’s going to be (perhaps with different parameters, it could have done a bit better - a lot of neural network training involves choosing the right training parameters). By this point, it’s able to figure out some of the basic colors, like white, red, and grey:
Although not reliably.
In fact, looking at the neural network’s output as a whole, it is evident that:
The neural network really likes brown, beige, and grey.
The neural network has really really bad ideas for paint names.
“YOU DON’T LOOK NATIVE” - is something that bothers me greatly. I see it happen all the time, especially to Natives in the US & Canada.
Telling any Native person that they aren’t Native because they don’t fit your superficial stereotype is RACIST! Every single person pictured above is a NATIVE.
This is something that all non-Natives need to understand, there is no “Native look”.
- Not all Native women look like Disney’s “Pocahontas”.
- Not all Native men look like a Plains NDN with long flowing hair.
- Not all Natives have high cheekbones.
- Not all Natives have black straight hair. Some have brown hair, some have curly hair, some have light hair and so on.
- Yes Native men CAN grow beards and have facial hair.
- Not all Natives have brown eyes. Some have blue eyes, some have grey eyes, some have green eyes and some have hazel eyes.
- There are tall Natives and there are short Natives.
- There are dark skinned Natives, light skinned Natives and pale skinned Natives.
It’s one AM and these kinda just popped into my head LETS GO
• Connor fails his suicide attempt, Zoe finds him in his room about a minute after Connor swallowed a fuck ton of pills
•Evan hears about this cause Connor is always a main source of gossip at the school
• especially for Jared
• Evan thinks about when he failed his suicide attempt and knew, at least partly, how Connor felt
• Evan, knowing he wouldn’t be able to just walk up to Connor and start talking, starts writing letters
• Dear Connor Murphy, I heard what happened and I want you to know, I failed as well over the summer
• Evan always signing them as Sincerely Me
• Connor getting the first letter five days after he leaves the hospital, two days after he goes back to school
• Connor reading it, and thinking
• maybe I’m not completely alone
• Evan writes Connor a letter every Tuesday and Thursday
• Whenever Connor ditches school he makes sure it isn’t a Tuesday or Thursday
• Evan mentions things that go on in his life, how he wishes he could stand up for himself, how he wishes he could help his mother, how he wishes he could talk to the girl he likes
• Connor starts to develop feelings for the mystery writer but ignores it cause
• A. Who would like him
• B. I don’t even know who writes the letters, how the fuck can I be in love
• Evan slowly starts to make sure Connor is doing okay when ever Connor actually shows up to his math class
• Evan slowly starts to realize that he doesn’t like Zoe as much, but why?
• Evan shoots up in bed one night thinking
• Fuck. I like the school stoner
• Evan then slaps himself cause that’s not all that Connor is
• his mom hears him talking to himself and asks if everything is alright
• Evan quickly shouts back a yes, and gets back in bed, still thinking of Connor Murphy
• the last day of school before Christmas Break, Evan leaves a small gift at Connors locker and a note even though it’s Friday
• he’s surprised to see that Connor also left a gift at his locker for the mystery writer
• Evan puts it under the tree
• Heidi asks where it came from and Evan starts blushing and stuttering and mumbling about how he writes letters to Connor Murphy
• Heidi sees the light in her sons eye that hasn’t been there in years
• She bakes cookies for Evan to give to Connor
• Evan brings the cookies to the Murphy’s house, rings the door bell and runs
• Cynthia opens the door to see a plate of cookies and card saying ‘Dear Connor Murphy, have an excellent Christmas, sincerely me’
• Cynthia is super excited cause she believes that Connor has an actual FRIEND
• Cynthia takes the cookies up to her sons room
• Connor opens the door, glaring at his mother, and then he sees the cookies and the note card
• he picks it up and reads it quickly before blushing and grabs the plate, shutting his door
• on Christmas Evan opens Connors present last and is very happy to see that it’s a tree encyclopedia with a note that said ‘you always talk about how you love trees so, here’ and on the other side is a beautifully drawn tree
• CONNOR MURPHY CAN DRAW SO FUCKING WELL AND EVAN JUST MELTS AT THE TREE AND HE INSTANTLY PINS IT TO HIS WALL
• Connor opens his gift in his room, and is surprised to see two new black sweatshirts and a bottle of black nail polish, the saying ‘Dear Connor Murphy, your sweatshirts seem to have a lot of holes, I didn’t know if it was for comfort or what but I got you a new one. Oh and I really like your nails so here’s some more polish, sincerely me’ Connor actually smiles, and he feels all warm inside AND WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS WHAT THE FUCK
• Jared eventually finds out that Evan writes Connor letters cause he saw the tree on the wall while Evan was getting snacks and flipped it over and read the note
• he immediately asked Evan who it was from
• Evan blushes and mumbles Connor
• Jared demands a wider explanation
• he doesn’t stop teasing Evan about it
• At school Jared starts acting funny around Connor and Connor starts to freak out cause
• SHIT IS JARED THE LETTER GUY
• but he calms down for a second when Jared accidentally spills the beans
• Connor was reading another one of Evans’s notes, Jared walks up to him with a shit eating grin and says
• 'Another love note from Evan Tree Boy Hansen I see.’
• Connor is instantly relieved they’re not from Jared
• he then freaks out cause THE CUTE QUIET DORKY NERD THAT SITS BEHIND ME IN MATH WRITES ME FUCKING LETTERS
• Connor corners Evan after school
• Evan is nervous cause he thinks Connor hates him.
• he is pleasantly surprised when Connor gives him a quick thank you before dashing off
• Connor then starts to write Evan letters on Wednesdays and Fridays. Monday’s are the chill day
• Connor finally accepts that he totally loves Evan but he still thinks that Evan could never like him that way, especially since the guy Evan mentions in his letter can’t be him
• beautiful brown hair? Nope
• gorgeous blue eyes that seem to have a hint of brown in the left one? Well yes but they aren’t gorgeous, his are hideous
• a face that was crafted by God himself? Absolutely not
• Evan starts to wonder if Connor wants to be friends with him and asks him exactly that in a letter
• Connor replies with a 'no shit’ and his phone number
• Evan was ecstatic when they hung out for the first time
• so was Connor
• and their moms
• at the end of senior year, Evan tells Connor that he has to take a gap year to save up money
• Connor decides he’s not going to college without Evan as he doesn’t know how to make friends and he was just fucking lucky with Evan
• They were hanging out at Evans house the next winter and they both had a few drinks cause what 18 year old doesn’t drink. Evan isn’t THAT innocent guys
• they both tell each other that they like one another and share a small kiss that they both have wanted for a while
• they fall asleep on the couch, holding each other
Imma stop there. Feel free to add on, that was insanely long and I might write an actual thing for this?
This is Sam Wise Gamgee. Whenever there is a broom around, he has to cuddle and be protected by the nearest human. He’s a 7 year old Australian Shepherd! His left eye (our right) is actually half blue half brown. He’s the most handsome boy.