brown purses

badboy!jungkook + the reality of us

Six years ago…


“I told you I hate that flavor.” He glared, swiping at your lips with his thumb until you were slapping his hands away because he was wiping it all off.

“Well when you start paying for my lip gloss I’ll take it into consideration.” You spat, licking at your lips anyway because they taste less like grape and more like Jungkook.

Jungkook glared down at the little black bag sitting in the cab of his truck, a muscle in his jaw ticking until he reneged, ripping open the glove compartment to shove it in ‘til it was out of eye sight. After a final curse he unlocked his phone.

Jungkook [6:01:45]: when I say 5:30 it doesn’t mean make me wait in your drive way for 30 goddamn minutes

Jungkook [6:05:34]: what the fuck are you doing up there

Jungkook [6:07:23]: one more minute and I’m leaving your ass here

Jungkook [6:10:12]: fuck right off

He had only just sent the text when your front door was flying open, your very flustered self sprinting down your driveway until you could yank open the door of his truck with a grin. He wanted to glare, do anything but return your stupid goo goo eyes but he couldn’t help himself.

Not when it’s been an entire month since he’s seen you last, save for through the small rectangular screen of his phone. Especially not when you had returned home from camp looking gorgeous and brown from the summer sun, nearly blinding with your own radiance. He hadn’t understood, even all this time the point of going to a stupid fucking cheer camp the summer before college started and you would end whatever little thing you and Jungkook had had for the past year for good. But you had patiently if but a little patronizingly explained to him that you wanted to keep in shape for the fall tryouts at your school.

You sure had kept your fucking word about that. Somehow your body looked even more delectable than when you had left, the smooth expanse of your back revealed in a tank top cut so low there was no way you could possibly be wearing a bra under that. The ripped and frayed state of your jeans and scuffed white converse proved to be much less scandalous than your shirt choice. However—

“You cut your hair.” Jungkook said lamely, stating the obvious.

Your only response was to turn back to him with a grin, before attempting to throw yourself on him over he middle console. He still caught you though, his firm grip around your waist betraying the sneer he was sporting—it only made you grin wider when you brought your lips together.

Jungkook’s eyes widen the slightest when an eager tongue swipes over his lips and your physically climbing over the middle console to get to him, his hands catch you around the waist and he’s suddenly just as invested in the kiss. His mouth is scalding on your own, lips sealed over yours in an almost feverish haze as though he’s trying to communicate just how much the distance affected him in a single kiss. Your touch is just as desperate though, reaching up his shirt to press against the smooth muscle there. It had been so long, you just needed to touch him, feel him, feel the familiar press of his erection—one that never failed to make an appearance in your presence.

And then he’s pulling away from you, hands clutching your face a safe distance from your own, “Your parents.”

He asks the logical questions because it appears you weren’t going to be the level headed one this time around. Still, you try and dive back in for another kiss, but his grip only tightens with a frown.

“Out of town.” You whimper, making another attempt to get closer to him. This time you succeed and Jungkook waits all of five seconds with his mouth against your own to pull away again.

“Then why the fuck,” he says between kisses and swipes of tongue, “are we hooking up in my truck?”

“We’re not.” You groan, pressing your core deeper against the zipper of his jeans, “We’re not fucking. I’m just… I just—”

“Will you stop grinding long enough to finish your goddamn sentence. Jesus Christ,” he curses when your head dips back, and a hiss slips through his teeth on a particular roll of your hips, “You act like.. l-like we’ve been apart a year instead of a month. Fuck baby, quit that.”

“Okay, okay I’m s-sorry.” You say on a shudder when his teeth nip roughly at your lower lip. You still can’t help but dip your head into the crook of his shoulder and inhale his scent, “I don’t do good with distance s-sorry. I missed you.”

“I couldn’t tell.” He replied dryly, sending you a cocky grin when you glare at him.

Your glare is gone just as quickly as it came though and your eyes flutter shut in defeat, or a pout, Jungkook could never be sure with you.

“I’m so wet.” You whined before exhaling with a shake of your head, “We are not fucking today.”

Jungkook snorts, “Are trying to convince me or yourself?”

“You,” you answer firmly before cocking your head to the side with a frown, “No me. Wait… both of us?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes but catches you by the scruff of the neck, gaze laser focused on your full lower lip before he’s dipping in for another kiss—it’s slower this time and reverberating a softness you weren’t aware Jeon Jungkook was capable of.

“You irritated the hell out of me for a month.” He glared, but he was hugging your waist, you cocked an eyebrow at his contradictory behavior. As though a switch had been flipped, his gaze narrowed to slits and he was cocking his head at you.

“What?” You sigh.

“How was camp?” He implored, but his words were laced with suspicion.

“It was good.” You shrug, “Actually I kind of miss it. I made a lot of friends there.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook asks stiffly, “Then why’d you bother coming back at all?”

“Don’t start.” You groan, hands going to cup his face and though his pouting was adorable it ruffled your feathers.

“And what about that nerd…. Taekyung? You two keeping in touch over break?” He sneers.

You let out a deep exhale at the mention of your companion—you and Jungkook had been getting along well, fucking great in fact, as though the distance had triggered something in the both of you and lit a fire under Jungkook’s ass. He would call almost everyday, text you when he was busy, it was almost… domestic of him. You had gotten too comfortable with the Jungkook that was caring in his own roundabout way that you forgot to be wary of the green eyed beast that lurked just beneath the surface of his cool exterior. He had asked for a selfie and you had tugged one of the girls in your squad, and a very discombobulated Taehyung into a picture after one of the more intense days at camp.

Safe to say, Jungkook didn’t appreciate it—your lack of clothing or Taehyung’s close proximity.

No. I haven’t been keeping in touch with him.” You snapped, “But how are you and Jennie, I saw you tagged in more than one of her pictures on Instagram. Is she doing well? Still sucking dick under the bleachers?”

“If she is its not fucking mine.” He bites out crudely, “Considering I’ve only had my dick in one uptight bitch for the past year and half. I haven’t even seen her since we fought on the phone for a fucking hour because of that stupid ass picture.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

“Yep.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose before matching Jungkook’s glare with intense scrutiny, “We’ve been together all of five minutes why are we fighting already?”

“It’s not a fight.” He spits.

“Then what the hell is it?” You scoff.

“A discussion, a very loud fuckin’ discussion.”

“Are we seriously fighting over whether or not we’re having a fight?” You exasperate, running a hand through your hair. You pin him with a look, “I came here to hang out with you. I… I haven’t even bothered to call anyone else because you were the first person I wanted to see. So could you stop being a dick long enough so we can go on a da….”

Jungkook raised a brow at you. The two of you had long since been toeing the line of domesticity and while you were both aware of it neither of you was willing to swallow their pride long enough to show all your cards.

Movie. Let’s go to that movie and then when we get back we can do something that you like.” You say with a teasing smile, going to straighten his the ties on his hoodie.

Jungkook sighs but lets you pull him in by his sweatshirt for another kiss, this one longer but less heated than the first. 


“God that blew.” Jungkook stretches and you roll your eyes at him.

“How would you know, you slept through the entire thing.” You snorted.

“Not the entire thing.” He smirks, throwing an arm around your shoulder.

“Right I forgot you woke up in the middle to finger me.” You scoff.

“As if you didn’t enjoy it.” He chides.

“I never said that.” You hum before shoving the popcorn at him, “Hold this, I have to pee.”

Jungkook grumbles something that sounds dangerously like an expletive and you don’t wait for him to agree, rushing to the restroom to relieve yourself.

It isn’t until your washing your hands that you remember the crumpled brown bag in your purse. Your hands flutter uselessly as you try to take it out, hoping to God that it’s not wrinkled. You grin to yourself when you find it in perfect condition.

“Would he feel put out if I got him something?” You grumble before worrying your lip between your teeth, “You’re overthinking it, ___. Its just a stupid t shirt.”

Right it was just a shirt. No big deal. Just something you saw in passing that you thought would look good on him, no big deal.

“No big deal.” You repeat to yourself before taking a last minute glance at yourself in the mirror. You looked nice… or you thought you looked nice but Jungkook hadn’t mentioned anything about your haircut other than the initial shock he sported when you were coming down the stairs.

You push back through the bathroom door, taking extra care not to touch anything after having already washed your hands, your eyes scan the room for Jungkook, letting out an annoyed huff because you told him to wait outside. You falter when you come across a broad back, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck in a familiar fashion.

“Jungkook I told you to—oh.” You hesitate at the halting laughter, whatever inside joke they were giggling about brought to an abrupt close when you draw near, “Hey.”

“Hey unnie.” she greets, hand coming up in a stiff wave, “… are you two here together…?”

Jungkook hesitates for the briefest of moments, eyes searching yours for an appropriate response. You don’t know why it annoys you so much or why you’re suddenly schooling your features into a tight grin.

“No. I, uh… we ran into each other and he was holding my stuff for me while I peed.” You lied, taking in the way the younger girls shoulders slump in relief.

“Cool.” Jennie grins, “Jungkook’s really helpful like that.”

Isn’t he?” You agree curtly, your gaze hesitates at the familiar black fabric wrapped around the girls shoulders, “Cute jacket.”

“O-oh this?” She asks before sending a shy grin Jungkook’s way, and you swear his eyes close in defeat, “He lent it to me a while ago I never did get to give it back so I was excited to see him and maybe return it but we got a little side tracked.”

You send a questioning look Jungkook’s way but he’s as silent as he had been the entire five minutes you spent having the fucking conversation.

“I’m sorry, don’t let me interrupt.” You feign apologetic, “I’ll just leave you two to it.”

Jungkook lets out an exasperated sigh but if the younger girl notices she doesn’t say anything, only smiles politely at you.

“Wait, er… what about that ride you asked me for earlier?”

He’s grasping at strings.

“It’s fine, I’ll find my own way home. Don’t worry about me.” You send a fake smile their way.

“Quit being ridiculous.” He seethes before turning back to Jennie, “Uh… it was cool seeing you or whatever but I’ve got stuff I got to handle and—shit. ____ will you wait up?”

“Jungkook!” Jennie calls.

You don’t even bother turning around, your feet are eating up concrete before you have half a mind to realize that the heavy footsteps are getting closer. No, you don’t realize that until a hand is yanking you back by the wrist.

“Will you wait a damn second?” Jungkook grits out.

You bite back the immature words that are clawing their way up your throat and feign innocence.

“Oh. Sorry. Were you calling me?” You hum, but the angry flush in your cheeks give you away and Jungkook’s narrowing his eyes at you.

“What the hell was that about?” He implores.

“What was what about?” You frown.

“I’m not in the mood for your fucking games tonight alright, would you—would you just,” he ends on a growl, “tell me what’s bothering you.”

“Nothing.” You chime, “Absolutely nothing is bothering me. If you were talking about in there when I came out and saw you talking to some random girl who you said you had nothing to do with and yet she’s wearing your hoodie then you’re wrong.”

Jungkook blinks at your for a moment.

“We’re not fucking… we’re not anything!” He groans, running a hand through his hair and trying to figure out how the hell you two ended up here.

Why you always end up here.

“Are you talking about me and you or me and Jennie?” You spit back, “Because you’re right about at least one of those things.”

You try to storm away again but he drags you back by a belt loop, bring you toe to toe with.

“We’re not anything—is that what you’re saying?” He queries and he doesn’t know why it irritates the hell out of him.

“We’re not.”

“Then why are you so fucking pissed, why are you so jealous about some random girl if we’re not anything, huh? Does any of that make sense to you?”

“I’m not jealous.” You hiss, “But if I were mad about this entire thing, which I’m not I’d tell that you I’m not fucking mad about you talking to some random girl I’m mad that you lied to me.”

“Stop fucking talking in hypotheticals!” He yells suddenly and you’re only partly aware of the fact that he’s already dragged you to the car and you’re slamming the door angrily. “When the hell did I lie to you?”

“You said you didn’t talk to her anymore but why is she wearing your jacket, are you two fucking?” You shout back and your tone has Jungkook reaching for you, hands clenching around nothing like he wanted to choke you before he was dropping his head back against the headrest.

“No I’m not fucking her!” He huffs, “I’m not fucking anyone but you and okay I admit I did lie I saw her last weekend, we’re in summer school together and the classroom was cold so I gave her my fucking sweater. I only lied for your benefit.”

“Do I look like I’m benefitting from your dumb fucking lie?” You spit, “And are you her goddamn boyfriend, let her freeze to death for all I care.”

“Well am I your boyfriend?” He demands and the car falls into utter silence around his question.

You inhale through your teeth before turning to face him, a frown marring your expression, “You’re right. You’re not my boyfriend because a stupid fucking boyfriend would at least say something about my haircut that I dumbly got for him but no you’re not my boyfriend you’re not my fucking anything.”

“What the hell are you talking about, when did I ever say anything about your hair? You look fine either way, who the fuck cares—”

I care!” You shout, “I care because I care about you and you’re stupid fucking opinion and I want to be your dumb girlfriend, okay? I don’t want to look fine either way, I want to look beautiful to you. I want you to call me for a change. I want… I want to be able to give you this stupid fucking gift without having to overthink the consequences—if I’m going to be moving us forward or back two steps and I… I like you, I like you so much that I remember things you say when you’re not paying attention like how much you liked some dumb actresses hair and so I do… I do stupid fucking things because of you.”

Your panting by the end of your confession because it was a lot, it was all the things you wanted to say, all the insecurities weighing heavy on your mind while you were away from him. And in a perfect world, Jeon Jungkook would have looked back at you and wiped your tear streaked cheeks and coo back all your rushed declarations.

But this wasn’t a perfect world and this was very much the reality of you and Jeon Jungkook.

“I… you… we said that we wouldn’t complicate things.” He says quietly, hands gripping the steering wheel, unable to meet your gaze.

All you can do is let out a bitter laugh.

“Right.”

“I think that it’s better this way,” he says lowly, “you’re going off to college and I’m probably not fucking going anywhere. It’s better if we end this now before either of us gets too invested.”

“Either of us… gets invested,” you repeat slowly before unbuckling your seat belt, “Why sugarcoat it? I’m the only one that’s invested, clearly. It was fun while it lasted right?”

Jungkook lets out an exasperated sigh when you open the truck door, “Let me at least drop you home.”

“Fuck you and enjoy your stupid fucking present. And in the very unlikely future you feel inclined to try and talk to me—don’t.” You throw the brown paper bag at him before slamming his truck door.

“____!” He calls, but you’re already jogging back to the theater. Jungkook yanks open the glove compartment and grabs his idiotic present before throwing it out the window, watching as small tubes of ridiculously priced lip gloss go flying.

I wrote a series of apologies to a landscape. The geums turned to seed clusters. The face of the stream bank crept into shadow. We avoided trading upon the exposed roots of trees. And walked through this transition as if our arms were streamers. Those things which changed became rocklings. Who will remember which days were exchanged for roots? Leaves may carry a message when circling the body. Sash ideogram.
—  Laynie Brown, from “30,” Mermaid’s Purse (Spuyten Duyvil Press, 2005)
Wait...

Wait….I’m not so dense that I never noticed Will purse his lips here, am I?

I have a shameful Brownham rock on my shoulder so it might just be me-

inform me of who Will is making this face at please. Halp.

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etsyfindoftheday 1 | 5.24.17

amazing leather goods by hustleandhide

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