brought him home

3

I have so many college deadlines going on right now so I brought Little Boots the Malaysian cat gecko out to explore my sketchbook for a while to cheer me up

“Let’s end this”

So here are my thoughts:

Yuuri just had a panic-attack on the ice. He knows how he he ended the last season. He’s getting caught up in the pressure and seeing the other competitors and watching JJ fall apart has brought home to him that as much as he would like to win, he can’t almost destroy himself again to do so.

When he says “let’s end this”, it isn’t about him and Viktor. It’s about him pushing himself to go further and harder for the gold. Yes, he’s always said he wants to get the gold, but he’s also said that he wanted to remember what he loved about skating.

And this is why I think the quote from their engagement is significant:

When he skated Eros, he wasn’t skating the way he liked best. He was skating the way he knew Viktor would like to see him skate - aka doing the quad flip. He did it and he fluffed it and it almost sent him spiralling. It was a wake-up about how it could go if he keeps on laying the pressure on himself, and for the first time, he’s actively making steps to prevent that happening. 

If he could, he would love to take the gold, but for the first time, he’s deciding that his health - his sanity - must come first. Yuuri wants to skate for him and Viktor alone. He wants to show Viktor the skating he liked best and he doesn’t care about the medals or the points or any of that anymore. He wants to retain the joy of what they have created and I think that may be the thing that’ll actually let him win or at least place high in the end: once he takes away the massive, massive pressure, he can do it and have fun and it’ll be spectacular.

“Let’s end this” is about the constant competition and driving himself to breaking point. He wants to go there and perform Yuri on Ice for himself and for Viktor, the routine he loves best in all the world. The gold medal doesn’t matter. He already got the gold he wanted.

I love Robert Sugden so much??? Like he’s such a complicated and complex character but emmerdale really lets you understand his motivations and he’s got such rich character development?

Like young Robert went out and befriended this boy, Andy, and brought him home, brought him into his life, and then his family decides to adopt him. And suddenly they love Andy so much, and Robert, no matter what, can never achieve their love. They ignore and overlook every bad thing Andy does, love him unconditionally, and support him, while everything Robert does is criticized and scrutinized. He never gets forgiveness. He doesn’t feel unconditionally loved - he doesn’t feel loved at all. And suddenly he begins to feel like maybe Andy was the son they wanted all along. They adopted him to replace Robert, because Robert wasn’t, and could never be, enough.

And then he catches his father cheating on Sarah, the only mother figure he’s ever known. And then Sarah cheats on Jack, and when Sarah leaves with Victoria, the courts force Robert to stay with Jack. Robert can’t help but feel that it was more about sticking one to Sarah than genuinely wanting him. And then Sarah dies, and Jack almost goes to prison for it, when it was really Andy that caused the fire, and killed the only loving parent he had known. And how could it be that Andy had done such an awful thing, yet Jack still loved him? And then Robert starts exploring this new and exciting thing - his interest in boys. And his father catches him and beats him. His father goes from feeling dislike to non-acknowledgment. And to Robert that’s almost worse. He’s so low that his father can’t even muster the energy to criticize him, and it confirms what he had feared: he will never be enough. There was something fundamentally wrong with him, inside, that his father saw and hated. So he hid that part away from the world. 

Despite everything his father said and did to him, Robert idolized him. He wanted his father to love him, and couldn’t understand why he didn’t. Because aren’t your parents supposed to love you unconditionally? He was desperate to earn that love, because how could anyone ever love him if his own father couldn’t? He became obsessed with becoming who his father would be proud of and love. He would be straight. He had to be. He starts dating all these women, multiple at a time, modeling after his father, because Jack cheated on Sarah and Robert caught him. And Andy, despite everything he had done, has the audacity to get at Robert for never being in a relationship and that TERRIFIES Robert. He sets out to prove him wrong at all costs, and he starts manipulating people for the first time, to get revenge on Andy for Sarah’s death. He wants Andy to hurt like Robert hurts, at the loss of his mother, at never having his father’s love, and for this thing inside of him, this interest in men.

He manipulates and cons and threatens for the first time with Katie by his side. He cheats and womanizes. Yet still his father doesn’t love him. Finally, his father disowns Andy for accidentally shooting him, and Robert proposes to Katie, and things are finally looking up. Then Andy ruins his relationship with Katie, and Robert is not only disowned by his dad but also called a traitor. And at this point, in my opinion, Robert locks away his emotions and feelings of love forever (or so he thinks). He dates Debbie and tries to run away with her purely to get back at Andy for killing Sarah. The accident happens where Max King dies, and even after Robert saves Andy, his father disowns him and sends him away with his car and the clothes on his back. Robert leaves the village on his own.

Then there’s whatever happened in the dead period, which we may never know. All we know is Robert headed to London, penniless with no employment. Somehow, during that time, he meets Lawrence, and gets offered a job. And he’s rising in the ranks, and finally making it, and meets the White sisters, and pursues relationships with both of them, to see which one will go the farthest. He’s finally making something of himself. All of Robert’s internalized homophobia and biphobia turns outwards towards Lawrence. But then, they return to the village. And part of Robert is thrilled to show off all that he’s accomplished. He’s ready to rub it in the face of Andy and the ghost of his father what he’s made of himself. But the other part of him is terrified of it all. The memories, and the feelings that will no doubt struggle to break through the wall he’d carefully constructed.

Robert had finally done it - created a version of Robert Sugden that was fiercely heterosexual, homophobic, wealthy and successful, and engaged to be married to a gorgeous woman. He had resigned himself to the fact that he could never truly be himself and be genuinely happy. And sure, all of it felt fake and hollow, but he had done it. He had created someone his father could love and be proud of. Yet still, Andy was hurting him. Andy was getting married to Katie, and Andy got his father’s wedding band. And, to steal from my previous post about this, Robert was marrying Chrissie for his father, to build the life his father might have been proud of, and finally not be a disappointment. That ring symbolized so much more than a wedding band to robert: it was everything he was sacrificing, every piece of himself he was burying, and the very heterosexual marriage he was entering into, all for his dad.

And then Robert meets Aaron. And everything changes. And Robert was right, the village did bring back those old feelings, because all of a sudden he just can’t help himself, and he’s kissing and sleeping with a man. But he justifies it to himself, because it’s just sex, and it’s just cheating again, isn’t it? His father cheated. He’s doing things right. And he just keeps coming back to Aaron, and learning more about him, and all of a sudden he can’t help it. He genuinely cares for Aaron. He cares if Aaron is happy, he cares if Aaron is struggling, and he cares if Aaron lives or dies. Katie dies, and I believe it was genuinely an accident. There was no way he could know that the floor was going to fall through. And then Robert is scared out of his mind, and all he can think is he loves me, and I want him in this with me. I don’t want to be alone. And his mind is reeling and Aaron loves him and Katie’s dead and I have to marry Chrissie and suddenly his whole world is in a slow free fall and he’s trying to right it but he can’t. And suddenly even Robert himself isn’t sure what’s true and what’s manipulation anymore. He tells Aaron he loves him and it’s to keep him from telling everyone about Katie’s death but part of it is also true and does he love him? All he knows is he’s feeling things he’s never felt before.

In the cabin scene, Aaron accuses Robert of only caring about money and power and Robert’s telling the truth when he says “I wish that was all I cared about.” Robert is at his lowest and he doesn’t know what to do and all he can do is cry and be honest, finally, with himself and with Aaron. He can’t bring himself to kill Aaron. He can’t bring himself to follow through, and save the life he’s made. He’s not a killer, he’s not a murderer, no matter what his persona may pretend. Aaron lies, and tells Robert he never loved him, and Robert believes Aaron. And feels his heartbreak at that. Surely, that should be enough anger and outrage to act on his persona and shoot? But he can’t. I meant it, I love you.

Then they break up, thank fuck. Because they were a fucking mess to be honest. Robert was a fucking mess. Then six months pass or more pass, and that’s a long time in soap operas. A lot happens. If Robert’s story was a hero journey, the cabin would be his abyss, and the next section his transformation. Robert comes clean to Andy, fully, about Katie’s death. Then Robert gets shot, and faces his own death. Aaron gets arrested for it, and then Robert faces a reality that somebody who finally, finally, genuinely loved him, despite everything, had tried to kill him. And his vision of unconditional love gets shattered to pieces. But then he finds out it was Andy (which, figures, it fits the whole motif of his life) and frees Aaron from prison, but Aaron still wants nothing to do with him. But through it all, Robert still loves Aaron.

Thus begins Robert’s Atonement. Robert sees Aaron struggling, and he can’t help but need to be there for him. Not for sex, not for wealth, not for power, not for control, but for Aaron. Because he knows what he’s like, and he knows Aaron will bottle it all up and harm himself. Because Robert can’t bear to see Aaron in pain. Robert listens to Aaron, respects his wishes to the extent possible, protects and supports Aaron, keeps his confidence, the list goes on. He says all the right things, and he means them. He’s there for Aaron, unconditionally. And he starts to feel healthy unconditional love towards someone else, besides his father, who never deserved it. Aaron offers up a relationship to Robert, but Robert rejects him. He understands that Aaron is not in the right place mentally or emotionally to begin a relationship, and that nothing was more important than being able to platonically support Aaron through this time. Robert demonstrates that he understands consent fully and completely.

And now we arrive at the present. Aaron won the court case, and Robert realized that with Aaron he had the chance to be genuinely happy as his true self. He actively works against the walls he built and the persona he constructed, every single day, to make Aaron proud of him, but also Robert proud of himself. He works against every impulse to lie, cheat, manipulate, accumulate wealth and power, etc, to live with Aaron. And he’s genuinely happy, in a way he never imagined he could be. He gets to be bisexual (which throughout this whole story he was no doubt struggling with understanding and accepting), he gets to feel true unconditional love, he gets to experience family, and it’s the antithesis to everything he ever imagined as “happy” or “successful”. He’s with a man, he’s living in a crowded cruddy pub, he’s not wealthy, and he’s helping raise that man’s kid sister. Yet it’s everything to him. And as time goes on, he becomes more and more relaxed, and honest, and his heart is full of love, happiness, and family.

This is Kita, he’s my husky pup. When he was little he was left out on the streets and I actually found him on my way home from work. We have been best friends ever since I brought him home.

I Lost Someone

My baby boy died yesterday. He had lung cancer. He was 10 years old.

I brought him home when he was just two weeks old because his mother stopped nursing him and his litter mates.

What we didn’t know at the time was that the rest of his litter (aside from one brother) would later be destroyed. When we found out, we started a shelter and re-homing program for neglected, unwanted, and abused dogs.

This one little pup inspired us to save 106 dogs over a 5 year period.

Like this one:

And this one:

He grew into a prince. A big, beautiful prince.

He welcomed the birth of our two boys. He moved with us across the country, then across an ocean.

He loved me unconditionally. He trusted me implicitly. We were a team. He was my shadow, my sidekick. My solace when times were hard, my motivation to be calmer, slower, more patient.

He taught me about joy.

He taught me how important it is to smile. How to live better in the moment.

He slept in my bed, then when the boys came, right beside my bed. He was unerringly careful, caring, and gentle.

He was my boy. And yesterday I repaid his sweetness and love and did something that hurt so badly, something that scarred, something only true love can do. I gave him peace and I broke my own heart.

Rest in light, my darling boy.

I’ll see you on the Rainbow Bridge.

The day after the election I found Joe’s orphaned, sad little head lying in the street on one of my walking routes at work. I immediately scooped him up, brought him home to my gf and we adopted him as part of the family. We place him in different parts of our apartment and include him in conversations, address him directly, etc. He smiles on, encouraging and enthusiastic as ever. We grow to love our Joe head very much.

Fast forward to holiday time, we’re looking for a star or some shit as a topper for our tree at Target. They were all $40+ glittery corny nonsense shits. At which point I felt a rush of weighted realization smack into my gut, stop dead, grab the gf’s shoulders and yell “WE CAN PUT JOE ON TOP OF THE TREE!”

Anyway, that’s the story of our new tradition. Happy holidays, from our family to yours.

so you all know busbus is mostly blind, or something. We’re not entirely sure but he seems to have very little response to visual stimulus unless it’s something like a lit up screen in a dark room or a laser pointer. We’ve noticed he hunts with his ears for moths because once they stop flying he can’t find them.
which means he catches it, kills it, then gets sad.

Anyway when we first brought him home our cats were like, cat body language at him and he would be completely nonresponsive. They got really upset and diva bit him a lot and had huge tantrums about it. He sat too close to her, he was on her stuff, he wouldn’t move out of her way. She hated it. And for him he was just suddenly getting bitten and hit so he was very confused.

within days both dorian and diva began vocalising constantly, little brrrts and mmmms, very softly speaking all the time. Sometimes they would up the volume, but only when bus wasn’t right there. Within a week they had developed a vocal substitute for every one of their body languages, and no more problems.

Dorian has a specific type of sound that he makes when he wants bus to come to him for grooming. Bus has a specific sound he makes when he is lost and both other cats have their own version of the response. Like marco polo except you say your own name.

They have words now for ‘hey look a thing to play with’ so bus can come over and join in on the gecko hunt, or ‘i am playing with a toy and i want company’.

they started making lots of noise sometimes when they run, by hitting the ground hard and also digging their claws into the carpet so bus can hear them and chase them. If Diva is just running somewhere and not playing, she doesn’t make any noise when she does. She also uses this to sneak up on bus which i think is decidedly not fair.

Bus also knows human words too. He knows ‘cheese’ and ‘bread’ and if you mention ham he appears with his nose bright pink licking his lips waiting for his share because he fucking LOVES ham.

anywya, cat language is so versatile and im always just so impressed at how my cats who were already 4 and 6 changed their whole communications system when it turned out that bus couldn’t understadn them. <3

Jean Stevens and her husband, James, from Pennsylvania, were happily married for 57 years. In 1999, James died from Parkinson’s Disease and Jean had him buried at a nearby cemetery. However, this burial was short lived because after a few days, Jean decided to go back to the cemetery where he husband was buried and dig him up. She brought him home and sat him on a couch inside their garage where he remained.

Jean also had a twin sister who lived 200 miles away with her husband. Sadly, in 2010, her sister also died. As if history was repeating itself, Jean went to the cemetery where her sister was buried and dug her body up too. She brought her back to her home and placed her on the couch alongside her husband.

It wasn’t until the authorities received an anonymous tip that the bodies were discovered. Jean admitted that she didn’t deal with death very well and felt that she was denying they had died by keeping them close by.

Translation of clip: "Ingen lever lykkelig alle sine dager" (Nobody lives happily ever after)

- ISAK is laying in bed trying to sleep
- Noora is talking on the phone outside his room


Noora:
I dont know but..
When you’re in love you sort of think that it’s going to be like in the movies
But, that’s not how it works
I seriously thought that me and William were going to be together forever
Nobody lives happily ever after
Because in the real world,  at the end of the day, nobody is willing to make sacrifices for love in 2016


*ISAK is angry and gets out of bed and opens the door*


Noora: Oh, did I wake you up?


Isak: What are you doing out here


Noora: Eskild brought some guy with him home, so I just moved myself over here - the walls in the living room are pretty thin…. (Eskild getting it on, lol)


Isak: Well, the walls aren’t that fucking thick here either!
I need to get some sleep, and I can’t sleep if you’re going to lie here and talk piss!
It’s 2 am, have some respect!


Noora: Ok… 


I: Sorry, but I need my sleep


Noora: Yeah I get it, of course, I’ll talk to Eva tomorrow.


Isak: Yeah… tell her I said hello.


*Isak starts closing the door*


Isak: And… William is an idiot if he gives up the two of you


Noora: Good night, Isak.


Isak: Good night, Noora.


*Isak closes the door*

Catsby (my emotional support animal) died tonight.

He was with me for eight years, and I just really don’t know what to do right now. I just got back from burying him, and I’m… things are gonna’ be bad for me for a while, so I’d really appreciate if you guys could be gentle and understanding about however I end up being for the next however long.

I fell in love with him the second I saw him, and a few days later, my mom brought him home. Shortly after that, she committed suicide, which made the whole, “Patsy Ann, you’re not bringing another animal into this house as long as I live,” thing a little dark. In her defense, my brothers had three dogs and I already had six tarantulas.

He was the only thing I took with me when I had to leave. I was thirteen, and it was just us and a messenger bag full of cat food and T-shirts. We were inseparable.

I took him everywhere with me, with little exception. He was the only thing that ever made me feel 100% calm. My boss even had a litter box and food in the office because she knew how nervous I got without him. So many people are going to be hurt, and I’m just in no position to deal with any of it.

I’m sorry for spilling this all out like a weepy idiot, but I just don’t know what to do right now.

heyo birblr! ♥ this is my sweet little boy named Speedy! he love to (((yell))) and sit on my laptop being a puffball.


I’ve wanted a cockatiel since 2015, and for my 16th birthday my dad let me get one. out of all the little birbs to pick from, Speedy was the only one with the creamy white coloration that I loved so much. and so I brought him home.

I hope you guys like him! I’ll try to make at least one post a day here. ( ‘ v ‘ )