The Skittles 13 Going On 30-Inspired!AU That No One Asked For: [part 3 of ?]

Scott McCall is a freshman, a loser and fed-up with wanting more and never getting it. Of course, his best friend, Stiles is more than okay with just having one friend, but one night, after not being noticed again by the girl of his dreams, Scott wishes that he could be more — popular, older, better — and the next thing he knows, he’s waking up, stronger, a senior, popular, and in a completely seemingly different world — but it only makes him confused, especially the fact that his best friend doesn’t seem to be his best friend…and he’s apparently spouting fangs. 

A SUPER LATE BDAY GIFT KID!SKITTLES THING FOR MY AMAZING FRIEND DYLAN WHO IS THE ONE WHO GOT ME INTO TW (and a buncha other shows dammit) IN THE FIRST PLACE so uhhh SURPRISE~! IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE i had started it before we were supposed to meet but never finished by the time i saw you but i finally managed to sort of finish it OTL I LOVE U ♥♥

alright guys but where is sciles au with stripper!Stiles?

just imagine this: Scott. College sophomore Scott. Lovely and hard working because he values his scholarship and knows he couldn’t be there without it. Co-captain of the college lacrosse team. Not a social recluse but also not the kind of guy who would party all the time. He’s not in any fraternity but some people from the lacrosse team are and he hangs out with them often (some of them - Isaac, Boyd - are his close friends).

And then Isaac’s birthday comes up and the team decides to take him to a strip club (by recommendation - Boyd’s girlfriend [Erica] works part time as a bartender there).

Scott… Okay, Scott is sometimes shy and maybe teensy bit awkward but he’s not a prude and he’s open-minded, he is sexually active and he doesn’t mind. It’s just… Not his place. He doesn’t fit. But it’s Isaac’s birthday and he intends to make it a good one, so he decides not to cut it early. They chip in for private lap dance for Isaac and sit back while Isaac enjoys his show.

And then a guy comes up to dance.

Scott was sitting near the bar all the time but now he leans forward in his seat to see better because this guy? Hottest person on the surface of earth. Ever. The way he sways his hips, wiggles his perfect perky butt, slides his beautiful, long fingers over his chest, licks his pink lips, smiles at the spectators and watches them with this look in his eyes like he knows he owns them…

Yeah, Scott might’ve shuffled a bit closer. And yeah, he might be a bit hypnotised.

He comes back, of course he does, and he knows it’s stupid to crush on a male stripper he has never even talked to. He knows he doesn’t belong here - drag queens keep cooing over his puppy eyes and really, what does a cute guy with puppy eyes even do in a strip club?

But he’s helpless and he can’t stop himself from going. He even has excuse to because Isaac, Boyd and he have taken up to keeping Erica company when she works whenever they can.

Every time Stiles (that’s the guy’s name - he learns things about him, by the way, from Erica and Derek, the bodyguard. Fascinating, awesome things) dances Scott can’t tear his eyes away, like he’s in trance.

A few times Boyd levels him with a knowing look but each time Scott just shrugs because what he can do? Nothing. It’s stupid. He has more chances of marrying James Dean (and mind you that the guy’s dead) than to get Stiles to like him, even a bit.

Or well, notice him.

Scott is sitting in his spot near the bar, next to Isaac, when Stiles does something unusual. He gets on the stage, starts dancing but in the middle of the song he gets off the stage. And yeah, that would be normal, he sometimes does to hop onto one of the big armchairs standing just under the stage to give someone a lap dance but this time Stiles just moves past them, still swaying to the rhythm and walks in the direction of the bar. It’s something rehearsed because the bodyguards are prepared, shielding Stiles from praying hands and Scott can’t fucking breathe because Stiles is apparently about to dance on the bar and Scott is not sure he can handle it.

But instead of climbing on the bar Stiles turns a bit and… goes straight to where Scott is sitting.

Isaac moves away and “Stiles is going to have me thrown out of here” is the only  thought in Scott’s mind before Stiles presses against him and… continues dancing. Then all Scott’s thoughts flight out of the window and into the fucking space because “holy fuck, Stiles is here” and he’s grinding against him and giving him a fucking almost-lap-dance, is this even real life.

Scott’s hands stay glued to his sides, no touching policy, he knows, but his eyes trace Stiles’ every move. This is how he dies, he’s sure of it. They are going to carry his body out of here because he will fucking die.

Then Stiles puts his knee between Scott’s legs to spread them, puts his hand on Scott’s thigh and Scott is sure he could come right this moment. And maybe he does, he doesn’t know because the song ends and Stiles presses a kiss to Scott’s parted lips, pressing his tongue inside Scott’s mouth and yeah, he is totally dead because there’s no way this could be happening in real life.

But maybe it does because when Stiles breaks the kiss Scott can hear whistles and Erica saying “finally” but all of that doesn’t matter because Stiles just kissed him and he’s still there, oh my god.

“You cannot just sit here and stare at me like that,” Stiles says, “and not do anything." 

Scott opens his mouth to apologise but Stiles puts a finger on his lips.

"You,” he continues firmly “are going to sit here like a good boy you are and wait for me to finish my shift. And then I am going to take you home with me and you will do every single thing you’ve ever thought of doing to me. And later it will be my turn. Okay?”

Scott manages to gasp an “okay.”

“Good,” says Stiles and steps away, smirking. “Enjoy the rest of the show.”

Headcanon: Stiles changes Scott’s autocorrect settings on his phone so certain words/phrases get autocorrected into other things.

“I” ➝ “the cutest truest alpha in the universe” (Stiles especially likes this one because it sounds like Scott’s talking in first person and it’s just hilarious until Scott changes it, which he does immediately)

“homework” ➝ “booty” (“Hey Danny what’s the booty in Econ?”)

“tired” ➝ “horny” (this is because he’s a little shit and he gets a kick out of Scott accidentally texting that he’s “so horny” instead of “so tired” when Stiles asks if he wants to come over and play video games all night after work) ((this totally works too because Scott comes over after work and like, tickles him until he says sorry and changes the settings back himself or something))

Anyway this trickery goes on for months, and Scott just keeps changing all of the autocorrect settings back as soon as he sees that Stiles changed them. He doesn’t even bother changing the passcode on his phone because Stiles knows every possible password he could have and he doesn’t want to be bothered with creating a new one. So this goes on for a long time until Stiles changes his own name in Scott’s phone into “Hot Stuff” or “Sexlinski” or “the love of my life” or something.

And he’s looking over Scott’s shoulder as he texts Isaac about a week later. And Stiles’ name autocorrects to “the love of my life” on the screen but Scott doesn’t even go back to edit it.

He just leaves it.

And Stiles thinks that maybe he just hasn’t had the chance to change it, until he sees it happen like five more times while Scott’s texting Isaac (who also doesn’t seem to think it’s weird that Scott is constantly referring to Stiles as “Sexlinski”) and Scott doesn’t even look phased.

And Stiles hadn’t known that Scott hadn’t changed it back because Scott never has to text “Stiles” to him because, duh, he is Stiles and oh my god what does this mean

So this changes things temporarily as Stiles tests the waters by becoming slightly more flirtatious with Scott as the days pass and eventually Stiles just realizes “holy shit Scott’s in love with me” and he confronts him and they touch dicks and make out.

(wow i mean ok this started as a head canon but it ended up being a little ficlet but w/e)