brotp: i came here for you


get to know me meme: favorite relationships [1/5] - eleventh doctor and amy pond

↳ It’s funny, I thought, if you could hear me, I could hang on, somehow. Silly me. Silly old Doctor. When you wake up, you’ll have a mum and dad, and you won’t even remember me. Well, you’ll remember me a little. I’ll be a story in your head. But that’s OK: we’re all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? Because it was, you know, it was the best. (…) And the times we had, eh? Would’ve had. Never had. In your dreams, they’ll still be there. The Doctor and Amy Pond… and the days that never came. The cracks are closing. But they can’t close properly ‘til I’m on the other side. I don’t belong here anymore. I think I’ll skip the rest of the rewind. I hate repeats. Live well. Love Rory. Bye-bye, Pond.

Cassian/Mor - Trauma meta

Right I’ve been a grouchy salt goblin for days and I feel the need to talk about something else so we’re going to talk about the Cassian/Mor brotp and how this one aspect I’ve been meaning to meta on for decades was actually sustained incredibly well across the two books (consistency, god bless) 

The basic outline is that Cassian has been, consistently, the most concerned for Mor’s emotional and mental well-being. He reacts the most strongly to her returning to the CoN, understands her trauma, shows concern for her, and he’s there for her when she needs someone. 

“I came in here to say I’m not going with you—to the mortal realm.”
“Because of how they treat women?”
Her rich brown eyes were bright, but calm. “When the queens come, I will be there. I wish to see if I recognize any of my long-dead friends in their faces. But … I don’t think I would be able to … behave with any others.”
“Did Rhys tell you not to go?” I said tightly.
“No,” she said, snorting. “He tried to convince me to come, actually. He said I was being ridiculous. But Cassian … he gets it. The two of us wore him down last night.”
My brows rose a bit. Why they’d gone out and gotten drunk, no doubt. To ply their High Lord with alcohol.

Obviously the fact that women in the mortal realm tend to be smothered by their husbands, married by their fathers and then used for simply breeding and rearing children is probably not something that Mor gets a huge kick out of. Rhys tries to coax her into coming with them but Cassian is on her side and argues for her staying in Velaris because he understands why it might upset her and works to protect her. 

Mor shrugged at the unasked question in my eyes. “Cassian helped Rhys get me out. Before either had the real rank to do so. For Rhys, getting caught would have been a mild punishment, perhaps a bit of social shunning. But Cassian … he risked everything to make sure I stayed out of that court. And he laughs about it, but he believes he’s a low-born bastard, not worthy of his rank or life here. He has no idea that he’s worth more than any other male I met in that court—and outside of it. Him and Azriel, that is.”

I feel like this is probably why. Cassian helped Mor get out of the CoN which means that he saw her in there when she was at her worst and her most vulnerable. He saw first hand what those people and that place did to her and he’s never forgotten it.

 I feel like…People talk a lot about Cassian’s childhood and how difficult it was but they dismiss Mor’s because she had a roof over her head and was well-off. But I think…Cassian of all people, who was abandoned, who was alone, who had to make his own way, yes…But he was also taken in by another’s kindness, understands what that is. He had a mother-figure who loved him, who showed him gentleness and love while Mor’s mother tried to sell her to a sadist right along with her father. 

I think he knows what a difference that can make, what a difference it did make to him, to have brothers, to have a mother-figure, to have a family and I think he looks at Mor’s situation and it sickens him that she never had that, never had anyone, that she spent her entire childhood living in fear without love or kindness. I think he tries to be that person for her, the one who protects her and listens to her and never dismisses her feelings they were in the CoN. 

Maybe I should have asked Mor to come. But she’d left after dinner, pale-faced and jumpy, ignoring Cassian’s attempt to speak with her. Azriel had taken to the clouds to contact his spies. He’d quietly promised the pacing Cassian to find Mor when he was done.

This is just after Rhys announces that they’re going to make an impromptu visit to the CoN in order to steal the Veritas. It bothers her. It bothers her a lot and Cassian notices that, and Az notices him and assures him that he’ll talk to her and look after her. 

Cassian’s focus had gone right to Mor, Azriel indulging in all of a glance before scanning the people around them.


Cassian gave Keir a slow nod that told him he remembered—and would never forget—what the Steward of the Hewn City had done to his own daughter.

While their in the CoN, Cassian keeps an eye on Mor and there’s a perhaps pointed reminder that Cassian got her out and remembers exactly what Keir did to her. 

When do you head for the Hewn City tomorrow?” Cassian said to her—quietly enough that I knew it was probably time to head upstairs.
Mor scraped the bottom of her bowl. Apparently, Cassian had made the stew—it hadn’t been half-bad. “After breakfast. Before. I don’t know. Maybe in the afternoon, when they’re all just waking up.”
Mor and Cassian both stared at their empty bowls of food, softly talking for once.

Cassian and Mor have a volatile relationship, they’re both intense people and they run hot. They rub off some of that friction with one another and they bicker and they tease except for when Mor is to head off to the CoN. Cassian is deliberately quiet and gentle with her beforehand in case she’s feeling on edge about it. The two of them just talk quietly and keep each other company before she has to leave. 

“Thank you,” she said, coming over to watch me. “Visiting them always leaves me raw.”
“Cassian seemed concerned.” Another prying question.
She shrugged. “Cassian, I think, would also savor the opportunity to shred that entire court to pieces. Starting with my parents. Maybe I’ll let him do it one year as a present. Him and Azriel both. It’d make a perfect solstice gift.”

Mor is not immune to what happened to her. Mor faces the CoN for the same reasons that Rhys spent fifty years UtM, that Cassian returns to those war camps and the sneering camp lords, that Azriel tortures and spies: for her Court. She doesn’t enjoy it. She is strong but she’s not invincible and spending prolonged periods of time in the company of her abusers, completely alone but for herself, is difficult, it takes something out of her. 

So of course Cassian is concerned about her, understands her trauma and protects her (even when others are a little dismissive about what she endures. Cass has her back, always, and she can rely on him for support in cases like this…which becomes especially important as we move in acowar where Mor gets trampled under what she’s endured about 16 times and needs someone in her corner. 

“You’re working with that prick,” Cassian cut in, whatever catching-up now over, apparently. He moved to Mor’s side, a hand on her back. He shook his head at Azriel and Rhys, disgust curling his lip. “You should have spiked Eris’s fucking head to the front gates.”


Mor blinked. Cassian’s hand moved to her shoulder and squeezed.

Mor shook her head as she whispered, “He’ll still destroy it.”

Cassian slid his arm around her shoulders, his face harder than I’d ever seen it as he studied Rhys. Then Azriel. “You should have warned us.”

 This is after….The scene which I am not getting into here because we don’t have all day but Cassian very, very firmly places himself on Mor’s side here. Which no-one else does until Amren intervenes to stop the fight, and even then she agrees with both sides. Cassian is the only one who solidly has Mor’s back in this. Rhys and Azriel are united together and Feyre sides with Rhys to support him. Cass firmly sets himself against them to defend Mor because he knows exactly what she must have went through down there alone. 

He makes sure that he’s there for her, he uses touch to comfort her and he doesn’t bother to hide his disgust and his anger at what Rhys and Az have done to her. (And just…thank god for Cassian jfc because everyone else in this scene, Rhys in particular, but also Azriel, dismisses her. They talk about her like she’s a child (you should have stopped the deal, we had to keep it a secret from you) or implies that she’s selfish and oversensitive to have been affected this way. Cassian just has her back and calls Azriel and Rhys out for not warning her, not warning ‘us’ he says, because he’s firmly on her side in this) 

Mor was indeed sprawled on a couch—one wary eye on Azriel. Cassian sat beside her, holding her feet in his lap. He’d taken the spot closer to Azriel—right between them. As if he’d leap into their path if need be.

[…] Cassian now rubbing Mor’s feet. 

Yes I’ve wiffled about the feet rubbing already, it’s precious, but I think it’s also important. This is just after the meeting with the High Lords where Azriel’s sudden outburst triggered Mor. Cassian is there for her afterwards, he understands why she was so upset and he sits with her, again comforts her physically. He also puts himself between her and Az, a little bit of distance, making her feel safe and reinforcing those boundaries and that little bit of domesticity and normality to help calm her down and ground her. But the point is that he’s there for her, even if she doesn’t seem that distressed in this moment, he’s there and he’s there for her and that’s important. 

TL;DR: Cassian is the good bat that Morrigan deserves and he’s always been sensitive to her trauma, her response to her abusers and makes sure he’s there for her to protect her from triggering situations and to take care of her after she has been triggered. He supports her, he takes care of her because she is strong and she is powerful but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have scars and it doesn’t mean she doesn’t sometimes succumb. He helps her make sure that the hard days don’t win when they come for her. 

  • me after initially watching S2: I mean Minty is okay. I don't really see it yet, but I do love Miller. It has potential I guess but whatever. :)))
  • me after joining the fandom: *cracks knuckles* *loudly clears throat* *opens PowerPoint* alrigHt kiddoS here I aM all aboard the MintY traIn choo choo motherfuckers clear the tracks. Nathan MilleR is my favorite delinquent fight me on it I could do this all day. He's easily one of the most interesting side characters and has such an incredibly fascinating backstory when you consider who he's become as a person. He isn't afraid to follow his own moral code. I have respect for that. Monty Green was always generally shown as Jasper's sidekick, but he came alive in season 2 and ultimately showed how heroic and loyal he was to his people and his friends. Minty? What a concept. A dream. A light in the darkness. A wondrous marvel. This is a glorious ship. I am alive and thriving for this ship. It's just a crackship? Buddy, I have some wild news for you; that will not stop me from shipping the notion of Monty Green and Nathan Miller romantically or even as a mere brotp--there's no discrimination here I'm shipping all of the possibilities of Minty my dear don't be afraid. Minty may never happen but rest assured it's not dying off any time soon you could kill one of them and I'll still be here banging pots and pans shouting their names to the sky from the deck of my glorious train. Also, did I mention Jarod Joseph himself conducts this train? What a time for breathing, kids. All aboarD, my friends--free tickets we're not stopping anytime soon choo choO.
The 100 ramble (Ye Who Enter Here)

  Okay, guys that was a wild ride. I think during the hiatus and first two episodes I kind of forgot about the fact, that The 100 is a show that will only bring you pain and misery and kill everyone Bellamy you love. Well they remind me about that now.  This episode was so good I want to curl up in the corner and cry untill I die from dehydration. So let’s get it started.

1. #BellamyVoiceInTheOpeningAppreciation. Good show *pets JRothenberg on the head* good show.

2. This shouldn’t be surprise for anyone, but I’m not a big fan of Clarke and Lexa relationship (no matter in which way you see them) because I just don’t like it when people manipulate each other and they both did it,  so the opening scene between them was really meh for me especially bits like “I went on all that trouble to save you”, “I know you, Clarke it’s just easier to hate me than hate yourself”, “You would have done the same”. No, Lexa just no. At least not season 2 Clarke. Now I kind of hope she will pull something like this. But still better not. I don’t want Clarke to hate herself even more.

Also I’m not sure that throwing that Ice Nation embassadore  from the balcony was really smart desicion. I mean I kind of get that it was “No one mess with heda” message. But wasn’t it also the act of war? Or maybe Lexa and Queen Elsa (sorry, I’m to lazy to google Ice Nation Queen name) just go around killing people just to piss each other, but that’s okay because that’s their thing? Idk. On the one hand that moment get me like “Holly shit, Lexa, you still got it girl, still got it.”, but one the other hand… You see there is this one thing I really like in Lexa desicion in this episode, and let’s put aside all her feelings for Clarke, I know they played I huge role in that, but that’s not my point right now. Queen Elsa wanted kill Wanheda to get her power, Lexa wanted Wanheda to bow before her to show that she can conquer that power, that she had something in her that made even great Wanheda recognise her as a leader. If any of you are Teen Wolf fans you can draw paralells to True Alpha stuff. You know when you can attain the status  by strength of character instead of taking the status by killing another Alpha. Lexa obviously tried to played it that way and that was smart. But killing that dude not so much.

2. All the Kabby in that episode. Just yes. And honestly Kane is such a sweetheart, no wonder Abby is all “heart yeas mothfucker” at him. 

Abby: You should be chacellor this week.

Kane:No, you should be chancellor this week.

Abby [blushes]: I was chancellor last week and the week before, now it’s your turn. You’re so sweet and caring, people should see you as an example, there should be more people like you. Have you consider having kids? You know, so there could be more people like you. I could help you with that. Wanna go make babies?

Kane: Omg yes. But who’s gonna be the chancellor?

Abby: We should make elections, so people could choose.

Kane. Baby, you’re so smart. But no matter who’s gonna win we still gonna rule together, right?

Abby: Of course, power couple high five?

Kane: Power couple high five!

Could they be more ridiculously cute? Also who’s gonna tell them that if they arange real elections other people can take part too and even [gasps] win? What a wild though, right?

3. Indra is smiling, I repeat Indra is smiling! It’s almost like smiling Raven but more rare.

4. I honestly think I’m more into Gina than Bellamy is. Not that any of this even matter anymore. Ginnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Sorry, we’re still not there yet. Let’s be happy for a moment and appreciate that cuteness between Raven and Gina. 

Girls, you are so great together. Why can’t we have them be friends or even more? why can’t Raven have someone nice? Was it necesarry to kill Gina? I really liked her. Why show, why?

5. Crossing fingers for some Clarke/ Roan bonding time. Am I smelling new brotp? Yes, yes I am.  Prince Roan of Azkeda and Princess Clarke from Arc. They could bitch to each other how hard it be royalty with mummy issues.

6. Blake siblings feels strikes again and it’s massive ouch. Can women who Bellamy love stopped leaving him, because they can’t stand to stay with Sky people? “If you need to leave you get that, but you always fit in with me”. 

Just kill me, would you please?

7. “Echo! Hey girl, it’s so nice to see you. Where have you been? What have you been up too? You came here to warn Sky people because you remember how Bellamy helped you and now you want to help too?” that was what I though when that horrible traitor started her act. Ugh, Echo, and I even liked you.

8.Lexa training little kids was really cute. You know, in some nice, paralell universe Bellamy, Lincoln and Lexa can open their own school where they teach kids how to fight and be bros, all three of them. Woudn’t that be nice, guys?

9. It was nice to see Sinclair again and you know what? Every persone who cares about Raven and want her to bee happy deserves world.

10. Honestly I lost it when I realise that dude was in Mount Weather. That was really scary and I wanted to cry from that moment till the end of the episode.

11. Gina my beautiful tropical fish did not deserve that shit. She did not deserve being that horribly stabbed and die suffering and coughing with blood. But you know what? Baby girl died like a hero, trying to save everyone, even knowing she’s already gone. That’s my girl. 

12. Was that the first time Bellamy and Lexa actually talked to each other onscreen? Because that was intense.

13. I wasn’t even hopping for some Bellarke interaction in this episode but here it is and I love it. I mean, obviously everything is horrible and Bellamy is so hurt and Clarke almost lose it when he tell her to come back home for her people (I might be reading way to much from this, because of course I’m biased, but have you seen her face before she said “I’m sorry”? she almost broke her mask and that didn’t even happened when she talked to Abby, only with Bellamy. This ship, I just can’t.) Things gonna hurt, my fellow bellarke shippers, but you now what? The next episode is written by  Dorothy Fortenberry. You might ask me who the hell is  Dorothy Fortenberry? I will tell you. That’s the women who gave us the gift of 2x09 “Remember me”. You know? That episode with “I can’t lose you too”, “I was being weak. Love is weakness.” That episode where they oficially confirmed  that Clarke loves Bellamy and at the same time riped our hearts and destroy them. Remember how fun that was? Yeah, I remember too. What I’m trying to say - next episode gonna hurt like a bitch but with this writer we can hope for some awesome Bellarke build up at the same time. So bring it on, the 100! I’ m ready.

P.S. I also checked and I saw that 3x05 is written by  Charlie Craig, who wrote 2x05  “Human Trials” (with epic Bellarke hug and that scene near fire where they stare at each other eyes and support each other) 2x11 “Coup de Grace” (the one when Calrke were freaking out and losing hope and giving up because Bellamy still didn’t communicate with them on the radio and when he finally did she made this face

and then was like “okay Bellamy is alive, life has meaning again, gonna save your asses, losers, babe have my back ”). and I’m not saying that there have to be some good Bellarke in 3x05 because of this, but there have to be some good Bellarke in 3x05.

Also Kira Snyder the writer of 3x06 has some small but really good and one of our favourite Bellarke moments in her episodes. Like this 

“Who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things”

and this Unity Day flirting

and “i’m going by myself” -”you won’t be by yourself”

So I think good shipping things awaits for us in the future. Brace yourself, guys!

the sappy stuff

first thing’s first, gotta get all sentimental with you all.  cat’s going to be two years old in three months ( or two months… i should double check the date.  mAYBE EVEN FOUR WHO KNOWS ), and i can’t even begin to explain how much she means to me.  she’s a character i can’t move on from – she lives in my head and just constantly annoys me.  roleplaying her is a joy, i never hate having a lot of drafts because honestly what makes me happiest is when other people enjoy her to, something that is best shown me through interactions.

i know there are parts of her that seem stretched or cliché, i know that she can be overly dramatic and that moody, brooding character that seems to exist everywhere, but developing her has been the most fun i’ve ever had as a writer.  i can’t imagine being without her, she’s one of my best friends, as well as probably my most worked on creation.

and i’ve been roleplaying for over ten years now.

but what i’m trying to say is thank you to everyone who gives her a chance.  thank you to you all who have inspired me, inspired her, taken an interest, and taken time to listen and love my pun saying, duck loving, doughnut eating, trash stealing tormented soul.  just… thank you.  roleplaying keeps me sane.  writing keeps me feeling alive.

and to be back at the number of followers i have obtained after archiving her last blog with around 2k followers, this… this means so much to me.  not that followers matters in the end but…

it’s still kind of a really nice number, y’know?

anyways, i’m not good at being overly sweet for too long so lets get to the good stuff 8D

…under the cut

Keep reading

I just finished watching the episode and here are my thoughts:


I’m so annoyed with this whole Spaleb thing, like it’s really unnecessary and lame, they make a good brotp and they just don’t work as a couple to me.

It annoyed me when the girls were joking about mental illness when it came to the drinks like that was uncalled for, like this show mocks mental illness at times and I’m really sick of it.



The Spoby and Haleb moments were so awkward like what did they do to our ships? I’m so upset.

Overall the episode was okay, it felt kind of slow and sometimes it felt really rushed. Nothing really exciting about it and the show just seems really different now. But this episode made me like Aria even more than I already did because she stood up for herself and I am just so proud of her.