Caps drinking game

Take a shot whenever:

  • ovi and nicky display PDA
  • locker pronounces johansson “joe hanson” or burakovsky “bear-akovsky”
  • holtby leaves the crease
  • tom wilson gets in a fight or scrum
  • joe b says that someone “rips one wide”
  • that ad that goes “jay beagle’s a sport fan, you can be one too” plays
  • tj oshie scores a shootout goal
  • ovi moves up the ranks of some NHL list
  • kuzy has an overdramatic celly
  • jay beagle gets a point of any kind
  • someone’s facial hair is mentioned
  • joe b and locker call out a reporter or analyst by name
  • joe b and locker imply that they’re going to dinner together
  • you get 50% off papa johns
  • mcgriddles are mentioned

Take two shots whenever:

  • holtby wanders near the blue line or looks like he’s aiming to get an assist
  • a defenseman scores a goal
  • pittsburgh is mentioned in a game in which they’re not playing Pittsburgh
  • there’s a goalie change
  • someone other than tom wilson gets in a fight
  • a goalie gets a shutout
  • nicklas backstrom is talked about beyond play-by-play on a national broadcast
  • Someone scores a hat trick
  • caps win in OT

Take three shots whenever:

  • brooks orpik scores a goal

i spent 3 hours on this

Caps True Nicknames

You’ve heard of nicknames like “Ovi,” “Nicky,” “Kuzy,” “Beags,” and “Burracuda,” but get ready for the true nicknames of the caps players:

  • Karl “Iron Man” Alzner
  • Nicklas “MVP” Backstrom
  • Jay “Lord and Savior” Beagle
  • Andre “Needs Adult Supervision” Burakovsky
  • John “Beanie” Carlson
  • Taylor “Rhinoceros Horn” Chorney
  • Brett “Steel Jaw” Connolly
  • Lars “Good Genes” Eller
  • Philipp “Pure Soul” Grubauer
  • Braden “Sock Enthusiast” Holtby
  • Marcus “Silent but Deadly” Johansson
  • Evgeny “Wizard Boy” Kuznetsov
  • Matt “Murder Face” Niskanen
  • Dmitry “Hip Check” Orlov
  • Brooks “Grandpa” Orpik
  • TJ “Baby Face” Oshie
  • Alex “hahaha )))))” Ovechkin
  • Zach “Nipple Piercing?” Sanford
  • Nate “Sunshine” Schmidt
  • Jakub “Favorite Son” Vrana
  • Justin “Ridiculously Good Looking” Williams
  • Tom “Sin Bin” Wilson
  • Daniel “Lord of the Beard” Winnik

I like to save the feature bits (usually all the derpy player survey stuff) from Breakaway, the monthly game playbook the Caps give out at Verizon. Here’s December 2016, and January/February/March 2017 (I uh sorta forgot I was doing these). Click to embiggen. Notable:

  • Ovi and Nicky both list Gladiator as their favorite movie. They are clearly soulmates.
  • Everyone except Holtby said their role model growing up was their mom, their dad, or both. Not Holtby. Holtby picked… Patrick Roy. This explains so much.
  • Karl Alzner’s favorite sports team is the Washington Nationals because he has excellent taste and is an excellent person all around.
  • Not gonna lie, as much as I’ve gotten fond of him, it still gives me a pang to see Brooks Orpik take sole possession of the Brooksie nickname.
  • Still not over Tom and Andre’s favorite television shows being “One Tree Hill” and “The O.C.” respectively.
  • Lastly, it took them three months to correct but Taylor “Chroney” Chorney finally got his name spelled correctly. Drinks all around!

Previous Breakaways

  • Nate Schmidt: Skates sharpened?
  • Brooks Orpik: Check.
  • Nate Schmidt: Sticks taped?
  • Brooks Orpik: Check.
  • Nate Schmidt: Did you have breakfast?
  • Brooks Orpik: Breakfast is not on the checklist.
  • Nate Schmidt: I added it because I care about you.
  • Brooks Orpik:
  • Brooks Orpik: No, I did not have breakfast.
  • Nate Schmidt: Unacceptable. Look in your bag.
  • Brooks Orpik: *pulls a protein bar out of his bag*

alright a bunch of people wanted it, so here’s the family tree i made awhile back

brooks orpik is everyone’s grandpa, beags & carly & alzy & nisky are brothers to nicky, holts & oshbabe are brothers to ovi (basically they’re all brothers). Mojo is nicky’s child but also brother to andre, orly and kuzy are ovi’s kids, and the rest of them belong to both nicky and ovi. also beagle is andre’s step-dad

My Top 10 Favorite Caps Moments of the Season Thus Far *Part 3*

30. More Oshie shootout goals (3/23/17 vs CBJ)

Shootout King TJ Oshie decided to give us an encore of the 2014 Olympics with this shootout goal against Bobrovsky. To date, the Caps have won 2 out of 7 shootouts, Oshie has participated in all but one (injury), and has made 4 out of 6 shootout goals.

29. More Burky goals (2/4/17 at MTL)

Between my last top 10 post and Burk’s unfortunate injury, he scored a goal in Montreal, and of course I’m going to put it on this list because it’s beautiful and I love him.

28. More shutouts (2/5/17 vs LAK, 2/7/17 vs CAR, 3/2/17 vs NJD

With these three shutouts combined with the ones I’ve already covered, our goalie tandem has given us eleven shutouts. Holy friggin god.

27. More overtime winners (¾/17 vs PHI)

It’s been awhile since we had an OT winner. I covered most of them in the last post. But the latest addition was from my love Nicklas Backstrom, the true MVP. It was so pretty and I cried about this for awhile after it happened cause I love Nicky a lot.

26. More shorthanded goals (2/11/17 vs ANA)

Personally, I believe that shorthanded goals are more exciting than powerplay goals because they don’t happen as often and are really sweet. Daniel Winnik had a really pretty one to add to the other ones this year.

25.  Brooks Orpik’s fight against Steve Ott (2/18/17 at DET)

Brooks Orpik, in by far his best moment of the year, absolutely friggin pummeled Steve Ott, and it was awesome.

24. TJ Oshie poppin’ bottles (2/5/17 vs LAK)

It took everyone a minute to realize that not only had Oshie scored, but had knocked the top off the goalie’s water bottle. Visual of the year.

23. TJ Oshie’s hat trick against the Lightning (3/18/17 at TBL)

TJ Oshie scored two goals early and then threw an alley-oop shot to the empty net to finish the hat trick. It was his first official hat trick as a Cap (cause evidently playoff hat tricks don’t count in official stats).

22. Jakub Vrana’s first NHL goal (12/9/16 at BUF)

I can’t believe I forgot this one in my other lists. Jakub Vrana is such a cutie, and one of these days he’s going to be a goal-scoring machine. I was so happy when he got his first in the big leagues.

21. Zach Sanford’s first NHL goal (2/11/17 vs ANA)

God bless our sweet young giraffe. I rooted for him so hard in his first stint, but he just couldn’t break through. Turns out he couldn’t have picked a better time to get that first career goal. He put the Caps up late in an incredibly exciting game, and I think I might have cried actual tears of joy. And now he’s gone. I miss him so so much and I hope the Blues are treating him well. I think he’s doing really well in St. Louis so I’m happy for him but I also miss him a lot.

Part 1 (1-10) here

Part 2 (11-20) here