brooklyn general

  • General: Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist?
  • Cunningham: Yes.
  • General: I was hula hooping. I attend a class for fitness and for fun.
  • Cunningham: Oh, my God.
  • General: I’ve mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle.
  • Cunningham: Why are you telling me this?
  • General: Because no one will ever believe you.
  • Cunningham: You sick son of a bitch.
When everyone is in the hospital because SpaceKid got hurt
  • Nikki: This brings back memories to when I'd play doctor.
  • [Flashback to a few years ago Nikki with a stethoscope and a teddy bear]
  • Nikki: [to the bear] The cancer has spread.. You're going to die... GET YOUR HOUSE IN ORDER!
take off your shoes, come in the room (and baby, let’s try not to argue)

part 2 of i’m in love with a girl i hate (she enjoys, pointing out every bad thing about me) AKA drama club AU part 1 is here!! yeah i know i said that i’d only start writing during the weekend but here i am, several days early,, it’s scary the things validation makes me do

JAKE’S HOUSE, 1455 HOURS, PACING BACK AND FORTH IN FRONT OF THE FRONT DOOR ANXIOUSLY

Jake’s pacing back and forth in front of the front door anxiously- they’ve agreed on meeting today, for the first time, and Amy’s supposed to reach at three in the afternoon.

To say Jake feels nervous would be the understatement of the century. The moment he got home, he took a shower, using all the fancy soaps they had, which means he combined Fresh And Flirty Rose! with (an extremely old) Head To Toes Babies. He also put on some suspicious looking cologne that might’ve been left behind by one of his mom’s exes.

Not that he’s trying to impress Amy, or anything, but if he were to smell bad he wouldn’t be able to blame it on some other dude’s B.O. or the stank-iness of the room in general. And he doesn’t want Amy telling the whole world that he reeks, right?

After his long shower, Jake stretched out on his bed, leaving the door open so he could hear Amy ring the door bell.

But then a thought occurred to him- what if she doesn’t notice the doorbell, and chooses to knock on the door, but he’s too far away to hear? Does their doorbell even work anymore? Do they even have a doorbell?

He raced out of his room to check, (and after conducting five tests) relieved to know it worked, but he still couldn’t quite quell the bundle of nerves that refused to stop making his heart jump.

Perhaps it was best for him to wait at the front door until Amy arrived, the clock and door taking turns to be the subject of Jake’s glares.

This brings us to Jake’s current state- he’s been ambling back and forth for close to ten minutes now, and Amy should be here soon.

Unless she’s late- which Jake doesn’t expect her to be because Amy’s never late, but at the same time, their meeting is unofficial and could be something she doesn’t care about being punctual for, right?

But then- what if she’s early? A possibility that dwindles with each passing second, yet something Jake can’t help but think about because the alternative would be to think about how crazy this arrangement is.

Because it is crazy! Amy’s literally coming over to his (empty) house so they can practice kissing. Why did he think this was a good idea? Why did he suggest this? And why did Amy Santiago, known for her rationality, agree?

At the same time, if Amy doesn’t come soon Jake might just combust, and he can’t pinpoint why. Maybe it’s a combination of fear and uncertainty and unwillingness, like something bad you want to happen quickly so you can get it over and done with, because waiting in anticipation of it feels worse than actually having to do the bad thing.

Keep reading

  • Hamilton: Guys, what the hell is going on?
  • Lee: Charles Lee saved the day!
  • Washington: No, you plugged ten fax machines into one outlet and caused a fire.
  • Lee: But I pointed to the fire extinguisher and was like, "The fire extinguisher's over there".
  • Burr: You pointed at the toaster oven.