I remember everything.
I remember how you used to pretend to be happy thinking no one could see through your act, but i did. I saw it all.
I remember how you opened up to me bit by bit, & i was so blinded by your strength that i didn’t realise that you weren’t getting better. You just got better at hiding it.
I remember how many times i had to talk you out of suicide & you promised me you wouldn’t go through with it ever, but little did i know you had crossed your fingers behind your back.
I remember how you called me at 4am that night & told me that no matter what happens i have to be strong, for you.
I remember how you said you loved me to death, i didn’t think anything of it. I should’ve realised what you meant by that, but i didn’t.
I remember how my heart broke as i read the note that you left me, telling me that you were sorry for leaving like this and that i was the best thing to ever happen to you. So why wasn’t i enough to make you stay?
I remember how angry i was at you for being selfish and for not thinking how this would affect me. How was i supposed to carry on without my best friend?
I remember how every little thing would remind me of you, of us.
I remember how as time went past, i slowly accepted the fact that you’re gone, that you’re finally happy, even if that meant without me.
I remember how i bumped into your brother the other day, & when he mentioned you, i smiled and for the first time in ages, no tears came out.
I remember how you used to tell me to follow my heart, so i did & it still led me to you.