broadway theater district

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Imagine Bucky befriending and taming the ice beast from the post credits scene of Thor 2

Outlandish Crime Duo Wreaks Havoc on Times Square

Security foorage shows the beast terrorizing onlookers outside the Doubletree.

The New York Police Department has warned New Yorkers to avoid the Broadway Theater District after a mysterious flurry of destruction tore its way through Times Square in the early hours of this morning.

Eyewitnesses report that a man in black riot gear was seen crashing through the plaza shortly after 3am, in pursuit of a large unidentified animal trailing a heavy chain leash from its neck. No casualties have been reported, although early estimates suggest that the property damage sustained could cost the city hundreds of thousands of dollars in taxpayer funds.

“It was unreal,” said Frank Mancini, a local entrepreneur whose restaurant was among those damaged in the stampede. “I’ve never seen anything like it…bigger than an elephant, it was, thrashing its tail all over the place, knocking down street poles like toothpicks.”

“As for the army fella, he did his best. Kept yelling ‘heel, Fido, you ******* mongrel.’ I think it was some kind of pet.”

Authorities have not confirmed if the incident is related to the previous alien attacks on the Square. Anyone with information regarding the identity of the culprits is urged to contact the NYPD.

(Christine Everhart reporting)