broadway phantom

Quick Descriptions of Some Musicals

Hamilton: The Founding fuckboys Fathers in the form of highschool drama

Falsettos: Lots of Jews, lots of gay, lots of intense crying

Book of Mormon: Everyone is made fun of in this musical. Everyone.

Rent: Money is difficult, but so is AIDS and being gay

Phantom of the Opera: Mysterious man in a mask swoons you faster than you can say “Christine” no matter what your sexuality is

Newsies: Group of guys (that aren’t mormons) aren’t taking shit from no one (also the New York accent will stick with you, believe it or not)

Dear Evan Hansen: Sad musical about teen angst could never be so relatable

Wicked: Hey remember that one movie that comes on tv every now and then during the holidays that your parents reflect on? Yeah this is before that

School of Rock: Fake teachers and rebellious children who are all surprisingly talented

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: why is broadway merchandise sO DAMN EXPENSIVE. all i want is something to commemorate me seeing a show that i already spent a shitload of money on, but i can't do that bECAUSE EVERYTHING IS TOO EXPENSIVE.

Hey, reblog/like if anyone out there has watched a boot but is still dying to see the show live, it just doesn’t work out financially, geographically, or timewise (it’s already off Broadway/tour). I’m trying to make a fucking point.

Some Musicals as Clickbait Titles
  • Hamilton: He didn't throw away his shot- until he did!
  • Phantom: "The strange affair of the Phantom of the Opera, a mystery never fully explained."
  • Assassins: The strangest JFK assassination conspiracy yet!
  • The Drowsy Chaperone: This man listened to musicals so much that he hallucinated he was in one!
  • Heathers: This Teen Murdered Three of Her Classmates- Find Out What Went Wrong!
  • Les Mis: We heard this story about an obscure French rebellion- and we are LITERALLY SOBBING :'(
  • Into the Woods: You'll never look at fairy-tales the same way again!
  • The Sound of Music: New evidence has uncovered what upper-class Austrians did in light of Anschluss, and you'll never guess what it was!
  • Sweeney Todd: "Demon Barber": One Man's Journey of Revenge, Murder, and a Meat Grinder.
  • Waitress: You go, girl! This woman's journey is the most inspirational thing you'll see all year.
  • Psychic: *reads my mind*
  • Me: Veronica! OpEn ThE- OpEn ThE dOoR pLeAsE! vErOnIcA, oPeN tHe DoOr-WhY dO yOu WrItE lIkE yOu'Re RuNnInG oUt Of TiMe-oMiGoD oH mY gOd YoU gUyS lOoKs LiKe ElLe'S gOnNa WiN tHe PrIzE-pOpUlAr YoU'Re GoNnA bE pOpUlAr I'lL tEaCh YoU tHe PrOpEr PoIsE-lEt yOuR FrEaK FlAg WaVe LeT yOuR fReAk FlAg FlY-GOOD MORNING BALTIMORE-wHat TiMe iS iT? sUmMeR tImE-SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS-i'M fLyInG FLYING FLYING FLYING-wHeN tHe WoRlD hAs ScReWeD yOu AnD cRuShEd YoU iN iTs FiSt-tHe PhAnToM oF tHe OPERAAAA-BIGGEST PLAIN FOOL IN THE JUNGLE OF NOOL-GREASE LIGHTNING-lItTlE sHoP lItTlE ShOp Of HorRor-ANYTHING GOES!! *endless loop*
  • Psychic: WTF