broadway jokes a

Musicals Described by Someone Who's Only Heard a Few Songs
  • Chicago: There's a WHOLE TON of jazz & someone goes to prison for a while
  • Wicked: Alphabet and Glissando become besties and sing about being besties
  • Hamilton: Pretty sure it's literally just the story of Alexander Hamilton
  • Phantom of the Opera: There's a party then this girl gets haunted but TWIST the ghost is INSIDE HER MIND (also she might love him? Unsure)
  • Book of Mormon: Mormons. Mormons everywhere. Spooky.
  • Annie: She's an orphan and that's not good because SOCIETY
  • Oliver: He's also an orphan?? Basically Annie I think.
  • Lion King: OOUHFOIDJSDHFNJAIFJOIHEDJSHIJFfioafdjzvk -Simba
  • Into the Woods: Fairy tales an stuff, a creepy dude sings to a girl at some point, everyone sure loves AGONY.
  • Mama Mia: DISCO GIIIRL!!! COMIN THROUGH!! THAT GIRL IS YOOOoouUUUUUUUUUUU!
  • Sweeney Todd: Don't go on that street idiot
  • Music Man: This guy has got a lot of trombones follow him children.
  • The Producers: They want to produce something but halfway through they don't want to anymore so they just make fun of Hitler?
  • Stomp:
  • me: im gonna get a full night of sleep tonight
  • me @ 3 am: I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory. This is where it gets me on my feet the enemy ahead of me.If this is the end of me, at least I have a friend with me weapon in my hand, a command, and my men with me. Then I remember my Eliza's expecting me... not only that, my Eliza's expecting. We gotta go, gotta get the job done gotta start a new nation, gotta meet my son! Take the bullets out your gun! What? The bullets out your gun! What? We move under cover and we move as one through the night, we have one shot to live another day. We cannot let a stray gunshot give us away. We will fight up close, seize the moment and stay in it.It's either that or meet the business end of a bayonet. The code word is 'Rochambeau,' dig me? Rochambeau! You have your orders now, go, man, go!
The Signs as Hamilton Insults
  • Aries: Turn around, bend over, I'll show you where my shoe fits!
  • Taurus: Creole bastard
  • Gemini: My dog speaks more eloquently
  • Cancer: You're mad as a hatter, son, take your medicine
  • Leo: Sit down John you FAT MOTHERFUCKER!
  • Virgo: You're father;s a scoundrel and so it seems are you
  • Libra: You're nothing without Washington by your side. Oh- daddy's calling.
  • Scorpio: I'm sorry is this not your speed?!
  • Sagittarius: And another thing, Mr. Age of Enlightenment
  • Capricorn: Useless as two shits
  • Aquarius: Smells like new money, dresses like fake royalty
  • Pisces: It's hard to listen to you with a straight face