"I have to go, they'll think I'm pooping."
"The only straight I am is straight up bitch."
"Who is Josh Groban?! KILL YOURSELF!"
"PLOT TWIST! LIMA DOESN'T HAVE A ZOO, WHY DID WE THINK IT DID?!"
"You smell like Craigslist."
"I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then, on some dark, cold night, I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face."
"There is nothing ironic about show choir!"
"Now remember, if the balloon pops, it makes the angels cry."
"Things are serious, a man in a dress is dead."
"It's a Britney Spears sex riot!"
"Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?"