britishparadise

Womens Perspective On the word "fat" Part 2

The side of the media has a bigger part to play but my personal experience revolves around the subject of thought and mental illness. 

My thought of my weight began around 11 years old where i was heavily bullied not specifically about my weight but the way i acted and my involvent socially. I wasnt the social beauterfly i was the social slug who didnt speak, didnt go out or didnt exactly like anyone. It made me mentally think about ways in which i could change myself to become more accepted within new groups in high school I didnt know whether it was heavy pubety or just my different way of thinking but my determination was clear. I was 5 ft 7” and got my weight from 8-9 st to about 6st 8 lb throughout the next 3 and half years.I was following the orders of this voices in my head explaining on a daily basics the pros of being thinner and the cons of gaining weight. Silly things which hit me hard. I brought concern up with people but never was anything done about it.All the times i fainted, abused drugs (including diet ones), band rehearsls in which i was so ill i stuggled to play it didntt stop me. However after getting back from a holiday to spain crying most days after big meals and seeing pictures of myself in bikini with skin and bones i realised. Something was wrong. I changed so much i lost my identity.

I did what i had to do to save myself and eat normally, get healthy and forget what people said. It is the hardest thing to do. I still try every day and have been doing foor 6 years now.

The internet brings back the voices at times. The fuel being the skinny, unhealthy tumblr idols with captions of “fat” “good girls dont swollow”. Its disgusting but you can not shy away from the fact it is there on your screen everyday.

Mental illness is the biggest contributer which is not just inspired by media and the internet. It is inspired by our self worth and percpection. Its up to the individual to accept your self. The long journey has those great rewards