Any lady who’s like “British guys are so hot” and lists a bunch and lists Butternut Clusterfuck and not Idris Elba just baffles me like I get that you’re probably racist but Idris Elba is literally the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen and Bitterwort does not look how human beings are supposed to look
Summary: You meet Boomerang while stealing and you strike a deal
"You know. You’re absolutely wonderful.“ I laughed placing my hand on this guys. While I was doing it I slipped his watch off and quickly shoved it into my bag. "You know I have a room right in this hotel. Do you want to go upstairs?” I smiled,
“I’d love to.”
“British girls are so hot.” The guy said kissing my neck. “And rich guys are so idiotic.” I quickly flipped this guy over and slammed his head of the bed frame, knocking him unconscious. “Don’t worry you’ll just wake up with no memory of what happened.” I had drugged his drink so he would just assumed he was drunk, gone to his room, and passed out. I started to raid his room looking for something that I could easily transport. “So you have a wife.” I say looking at the diamond necklace that he must of just bought before pocketing it. “Which means you have a ring.” I grabbed his hand and quickly slipped it off.
Once I’d pocketed all the things most of the things that I could sell, I walked out of the room and left the hotel. “Well that guys going to be pissed when he wakes up in the morning.” I heard an Australian accent say to my left. I looked and saw a guy who looked homeless. He was wearing a blue hoodie and an grey jacket both of which were covered in dirt, it also looked like he hadn’t shaved in months. “I don’t know what your talking about.” I say calmly. “The posh accent does you well must mean you can blend in well. But we both know you’re just a thief like me.”
“I’m not a thief but I will call the police on you.”
“And I’ll just tell them to look in your bag and they’ll see 1000s of dollars worth of jewellery.”
“Fucking hell.” I said rolling my head. “What do you want?”
“I want in on your whole thing.”
“Why would I do that?” I said putting my hand on my hip. “Because otherwise I’ll tip the police off about you.” He smirked. “They’ll never find me.” I smirked in return. “Come on. You could use the help.” “No I couldn’t.”
“Well if you won’t let me in on this, why don’t you let me in you?” He said moving closer to me. “Excuse me?” I said pushing this guy away. “I don’t even know your name.”
“I’m George or Captain Boomerang.”
“Well Boomer, I don’t appreciate what you’re implying.”
“Boomer? I like that.” He said trying to kiss my neck. "Your fucking disgusting.“ I said putting my hand on his arms and keeping him at arms length. "All you have to do is say yes to my little deal and I’ll leave you alone.”
“Fine let’s go to my hotel room and discuss this.”
“So we split the goods 50:50.” He said once we’d discussed a plan. “No way! I’m doing way more work and I have to have the creeps hands all over me. It should be at least 60:40 to me.” “No way. We’re splitting even.”
“I get more otherwise this is a no deal.”
“Okay how about 55:45?" "60:40 or no deal. I’m not negotiating this.”
“Fine.” He sighed “You’re a little bitch. You know that?” “Oh I know.”
“But for some reason I like you.” He said placing his hand on my thigh. Fuck, I hate this stupid short dress. “I thought you said you’d stop if I agreed to work with you.” “Well princess maybe I lied.”
“I don’t like liars.” I said leaning closer. If he wants to flirt then I can do it a hell of a lot better. “Yeah well you like thieves, what’s the difference?”
“I like money. I don’t care about thieves or men.”
“Well I can make you care about this man.” “Oh really. How?”
“Like this.” He moved his hand from my thigh onto my hips pulling me onto his lap and roughly kissing me.
“You know a girl like you shouldn’t be putting herself out this easy.” The middle age guy said as he opened the door to his room. “Well I don’t usually do stuff like this. Only for handsome men.” I laughed placing my hand on his upper arm. “Oh well aren’t you a charmer.” He said pulling me into the room and kissing me. I saw Boomer lurking in the shadows, like so many times before, and I made a look with my eyes telling him to hurry up and knock the fucker out. I felt the guys hands move down to my ass and motioned for Boomer to hurry up and throw his goddamn boomerang. I eventually saw Boomer raising his hand with the boomerang in and throwing it at the guy and knocking him out. I threw the guy onto the ground and walked over to Boomer. “You know I don’t like seeing a guys hands all over my princess.” Boomer said.
“Well then you should’ve worked quicker.” I said walking over and kissing him.
“I know but you should’ve given the signal.” He put his hands on my hips and pulled me closer to him. “I did, you weren’t paying attention.”
“I’m sorry princess” He said kissing me roughly. “We’ve got to get the stuff Boomer. Before the guy wakes up.” “He’s not waking up for a while. We can have so fun.” He pushed me onto the bed and climbed on top of me. “Fine.” I said pulling him down to me.
Aaand up next for my modest Red Dragon con write up…
I LOVED HER. I’ll admit I didn’t give her much thought beforehand, as Margot Verger didn’t necessarily do much for me, but oh boy did Katie steal my heart! She’s racy and outspoken and loud, and super friendly and approachable. She’s soooo much fun!! She loved my jumper (black with a deer skull on it) and wanted to know where I got it. I told her she was fantastic and that I hoped she’d never stop being awesome. She also put her head on people’s boobs, like… a lot. The lady loves boobs, what can I say.
the con people accidentally spelled her name ‘Katherine’ and she corrected it indignantly with a black marker and I loved her even more.
Katie had only ever seen Joe Anderson with the full-face prosthetics on, so one day a really hot British guy walked into the make up trailer and she was like ‘oooh, who is that hot dude?’ and the make up people said 'that’s your brother, you’ve been working with him for two weeks…’
She described filming the Alanna/Margot sex scene as 'six hours of scissoring’ and 'the best day EVER’. She and Caroline were both naked save for stick-on thongs and nipple daisies, and neither of them had eaten all day so they’d not look bloated. Except halfway through shooting a hotdog cart was wheeled into the studios… And both of them, being super hungry, ended up sitting naked in a corner shoving hotdogs into their faces. The mental images are killing me.
Alanna and Margot’s son is named Morgan!
The kid who played Morgan seriously hated Katie and was really uncooperative.
Katie says that Caroline’s hair is super soft.
She was raised a vegan but “got over it” after a particularly good beef chili.
She owns 2 horses, despite being terribly allergic. She has to use a neoprene mask to be able to groom them. The Hannibal producers offered her riding lessons, but she was like, oh hon, naw, but she did require them to bring her 'pre-groomed’ horses and could only sit on them for like half an hour lest she legit die.
At one point a dude did a terrifying Mason Verger impression and it was awesome. This is not a tidbit about Katharine but it’s worth a mention.
“She supposes the reason she tells him is the same reason she kept his phone number after all those weeks."
Notes: Sorry this update took a while. Job stuff and life stuff, but thank God for days off, amen? Anyway, enjoy. (Disclaimer: I still know nothing actually about pregnancy other than what I’ve gleaned from google searches. Apologies for gross inaccuracies.)
She can’t remember when Wednesday lunch became a Thing but it did, some time, and she can barely remember what she used to do with her Wednesday lunch breaks before she spent them with Mary Margaret and Ruby, trading stories about their weeks and the men in their life and their jobs. Emma didn’t have many friends growing up, her childhood something of a study in movement, and then she had Neal, and then that fell apart but she had Henry. Though, as the 18 year old single mother she was hardly invited to the potlucks and teas and shit that the other moms on the playground organized. Mary Margaret and Ruby were really the first real, good friends she’d had.