Al Calavicci is a curmudgeonly librarian, he's been there too long, but he likes that he doesn't have to deal with people much. He spends most of his time pretending to be reading classy literature, but really there's nudie magazines stuffed inside. Anyway, there's this kid Sam that comes in every day, checks out a dozen books, and reads them in the corner. Al thinks he's a weirdo but whatever, everyone's kind of weird. Then one day, he tells the kid he's checked out everything in the library.
Al sits at the info desk with his Encyclopedia Britannica turned to the entry on Miss July’s thighs while some nerd-o shuffles around the periodicals holding a thick tomb. Eventually he’s gotta check out so al’s gotta pause on the erotic imagines and do the whole song and dance when he notices this kids name is on the check out card a whole
“Seventeen times??? Kid how good can ‘Wuthering Heights’ be on the seventeenth time?”
“Sorry,” the kid, a sam beckett according to his library card says, “but I guess that’s abt how many times I’ve read everything here.”
“Oh yeah,” sam gets excited, “I love this library no one’s ever here and you hv good editions of all my favorites!”
“You read everything in the library? Even the encyclopedias?”
Sam shrugs like uh duh doy I said everything. Al puts the book down, staring at the kid. Easily a bean pole and looking like he’s nvr though a bad word in his life.
“You need a job?”
And that’s how the library gets to hv it’s first volunteer librarian who is holding 7 doctorates.