bringing you all with me to hell

archiveofourown.org
there's a place for us - Chapter 1 - elle_you_oh - Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

For someone who has lived her entire life being passed around, Daisy thinks that all her wishes have come true when her parents find her and bring her back to their home. Several months on, having stumbled out from a cocoon following terrigenesis and shattering everything around her, she wonders if the tales the nuns had told her were true, and that she has been condemned to the depths of hell for her misdeeds.

It’s fortunate that she doesn’t have to remain there for much longer, when a childish attempt to escape the control of her parents has her snatched from earth, and deposited in the faraway city of her distant ancestors, Attilan.

Or, Daisy finds herself abducted adopted by Phil and Melinda, the King and Queen of the Inhuman Royal Family.

this is a birthday gift for @danasmulder , who i love and adore even though she’s a pain in my butt 99% of the time :)

Masterlist

Click here for a computer version with summaries to the stories.

This should work on your phones too. Sorry it’s not been working properly. 
* = popular (200+ notes)

From oldest to newest. 

Late Night Call*

Close to You (Smut)*

Trying Something New (Smut)*

In This Moment - One, Two

Dance For Me*

Uncovered* 

Sex Bomb (Smut)*

Better Together (Smut) - One, Two

Come Home to Me*

Turning Me On (Teasing)*

This Isn’t You (contains a fight)*

Playing Nurse (Smut)*

Try My Best*

Hickeys (Smut)*

Treat You Better*

Losing My Mind* 

Always Be The Same (Smut)*

Craving You (Smut)*

Falling To Pieces*

Bad Reputation*

One Hundred Miles Away (Daddy Shawn)*

Panic Attacks* 

Running Low (Smut)*

Promises (Smut)*

Moans (Teasing)*

Don’t Be A Fool (Smut)*

This Isn’t Love*

So Much More (Smut)*

Turning Me On (follow up + smut)

Car Sex (Smut)*

Priorities (Smut + jeep sex)*

Kids in Love (Valentine’s special)*

Tease (Smut)*

It’s Not Jealousy (can be a trigger)*

Burns*

Anchor (sexual + trigger warning)*

Save A Life*

Keep It Down (Smut)*

One Last Time (Smut)*

Headspace*

Sunday Mornings (Smut)*

L’Uomo Vouge (Smut)*

Holding You Back (Smut)*

Hold On (trigger warning)*

Good Girl (Smut)*

Broken Dreams*

Secrets*

Monsters (daddy Shawn)*

Understand*

Too Much*

Your Body Is My Wonderland (Smut)*

Realization*

Vive el Momento (Smut)*

Just Right*

Quickly (Smut)*

The Only Exception*

Bad Temper*

Issues (Smut)*

Hang on To That Feeling (Trigger warning)*

Views (Smut)*

All My Love*

Little Things*

Boys Like Him*

Harder (Smut)*

Blurred Lines (Smut)*

Act Like You Love Me:

Part One*
Part Two* 
Part Three*

Bring It Back:

Part One*
Part Two (smut)*

First:

Part One*
Part Two (Smut)*

Line blurbs:

Waking up to Shawn’s boner (smut)*

Do You Miss Her?*

I’m Sorry He Broke Your Heart 

What The Hell Are You So Scared Of?

Today Was The Happiest Day In His Life

Do You Ever Think About Marrying Me?*

You Want To Have Kids With Me?*

Not As Much As She Likes Her

We Don’t Make Each Other Happy Anymore*

I Promise You, Nothing Had Ever Happened At That Point* 

Baby Please Wake Up, You Promised You Wouldn’t Do This Again*

Bullet-points:

Dating Shawn would include*
Dating Shawn would include pt. 2*
Shawn dating a short girl*
Shawn dating a tall girl
Shower sex
Bedtime (not sexual)*
Hungover
Shawn coming home from tour*

Yuuri's Evil Laugh
Toshiyuki Toyonaga
Yuuri's Evil Laugh

It looks like someone managed to record a bit of the squid possession fiasco, and I haven’t seen it posted, so I felt I’d share it with all of you! (I also have Viktor bringing Yuuri out of his possession with love, which I might upload at some other point)

Translation (accuracy unchecked) 

Yuuri: You’re all definitely going to hell!!!

Art of kidnapping

I dont understand why the hell kidnappers have to be so extra? Like using chloroform and getting so physical and wearing all black and driving in a van. Like dude . All you gotta do is bribe me with a book and lock me up in a hugeeee library and feed me. That’s it. Easy pesy. Best part? I wouldn’t struggle a bit. You need my soul? No problem. Here have it. Just remember to bring me snickers.

5

You are not to be underestimated, Claire.
Hell, I’m still getting used to bringing the hurt instead of fixing it.
Well, for what it’s worth  I’ve never had a student progress as fast as you have.
Guess I got tired of people doing things for me all the time.
Tell me about it.

Seventeen as shit my orchestra says
— 

Scoups : IM THE MAIN CELLo SO THAT MEANS I AM ALL OF YOU GUY’S FATHER

Jeonghan: I should play in front because I’m the prettiest tbh

Joshua: Jesus has blessed me with the power of playing this violin

Jun: cheese is my favorite string

Hoshi : is it possible to dance hips don’t lie with a bass ? No? Okay

Wonwoo: I forgot to bring my viola- sits in trash can and reads a book-

Woozi : I will hit you with my cello if you don’t shut the hell up - trips on a chair-

Dk: guys, I sacrificed my hair for this bow- horse sound - ( a bow is made up of horse of hair lmao)

Mingyu: how do you read music again- (is in advanced Orchestra)

Minghao : Is it possible to make a viola a gun because I’m about to go thug mode on all of y'all

Seungkwan: GUYS STOP BEING SO BAD , YOURE BECOMING WORSE THAN BAND - falls -

Vernon: guys buy my mixtape, it has Kanye and my badass violin skills in one song

Dino : - eats potato salad while playing on the bass then drops the bass - YALL THE BASS DROPPED

The Lightning Thief Musical Songs + Favorite Lines
  • Prologue/The Day I Got Expelled: YEAH THE GODS ARE REAL, AND THEY HAVE KIDS, AND THOSE KIDS HAVE ISSUES!
  • Strong: Normal is a myth, everyone has issues they're dealing with.
  • The Minotaur/The Weirdest Dream: Oh look, a strange man in a Hawaiian shirt.
  • Another Terrible Day: YOU CAN HATE IT HERE, BUT I HATED IT FIRST!
  • Their Sign: Well, I want my birthday cards and fishing trips, child support and homework tips.
  • Put You In Your Place: IT'S GONNA BE BLOODY MURDER SHE WROTE!
  • The Campfire Song: I hope he shows even a trace CAUSE I'VE GOT SOME CHOICE WORDS TO THROW IN HIS FACE!
  • The Oracle: (just the whole prophecy part tbh)
  • Good Kid: AND NO HOPE AND NO MOM... She’s taken away.
  • Killer Quest!: We're gonna march straight down to the gates of Hell! —Underworld. —Close enough.
  • Lost!: I don't wanna die in the Garden State!
  • My Grand Plan: You better wise up, 'cause I'll rise up, BRING ON ANY CHALLENGE!
  • Drive: Why, my brother and I arrived just yesterday: May 1st... 1939!
  • The Weirdest Dream Reprise: Remember what these god's have done. Remember Thalia.
  • The Tree on the Hill: Maybe if I'd been a little bit braver, maybe if I stayed behind to fight, but maybe doesn't let me go back and save her, maybe doesn't make it all right.
  • D.O.A.: You ain't ever gonna save what matters, you ain't gonna protect your friends, you ain't ever gonna be remembered.
  • Son of Poseidon: You're the two best friends this screw up ever had.
  • The Last Day of Summer: I'll do anything, I don't care if I hurt anyone, it doesn't pay to be a good kid, a good kid, a good son.
  • Bring on the Monsters: I'll be back next summer, I'll be back next summer.
  • demigods book 1: dont say names, they have power! dont say halfblood! its dangerous!
  • demigods now: fUCKING HELL ZEUS YE FUCKIN WANKER COME AT ME I FUCKING DARE YOU, YOU WANT TO MESS WITH A HALF BLOOD? BRING IT ON, PAL. SMITE ME. YOU TOO ARES, ALL YOU DAMN DOUCHES SICK THE DAMN MINOtauR On me Im McFuCKIN READY
TFP characters as dril tweets
  • Optimus Prime: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Ratchet: the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: “theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron”
  • Bumblebee: 1st grade: Mastered. 2nd Grade: MAstered. 3rd Grade: Mastered. 4th Grade: Heres when they start trying to trick you 5th Grade:This ones hard
  • Arcee: strongest blade in the world, howeve,r it is so fragile as to shatter when handled by any force other than the delicate touch of a lesbian
  • Bulkhead: i fear my tropical fish no longer respect me after i accidetnally stumbled backwards & smushed my ass hole right up against their $3000 tank
  • Wheeljack: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
  • Cliffjumper: priest plugs my coffin in at the end of the funeral. “MILLERTIME” lights up in neon on the side, desecrating my corpse & sending me to hell
  • Smokescreen: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. I hoot and holler out of the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
  • Ultra Magnus: Blocked. Blocked. Blocked. You are all blocked. None of you are free of sin
  • Jack: yes trolls. unlike you, i have a brain. its called a " JOB "
  • Raf: downloading shit loads of counterfeit papa john coupons through unsecure wifi net works
  • Miko: DAD: i just heard on t he news that teens are taking the "Kick My Ass" challenge. please dont do this ME: you have no power over me, old man
  • Jane Darby: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no
  • Fowler: i enjoy a bit of "Humour" every now and then, but people seriously need to stop tying me to a chair and injecting me with unknown substances
  • Megatron: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infant
  • Stascream: I just looked up the stats and the number of meaningful relationships ive formed is less than the number of public restrooms ive Screamed in
  • Soundwave: im the guy who airbrushes the nipples out of pro wrestling ads. i make $85k a year. but i have a secret *removs shades to reveal nipple eyes
  • Knockout: I put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like “oh tortures bad” , “its ineffective” fuck off
  • Breakdown: my grave is just a huge tv displaying videos of me doing parkour in hell and it makes all the other graves look like shit
  • Arachnid: i will tell you this right now: I'm from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally
  • Shockwave: i have absolutely zero interest in friendship, i have absolutely zero interest in jokes, i am simply here to collect data and earn respect.
  • Predaking: please bring your rats to the new castle flea market so I may bless/heal them. ill be sitting in a lawn chair wearing a stolen priest outfit
  • Dreadwing: (the trolls watch in astonishment as the milk shake they threw at me flawlessly bounces off of my head wwith minimal pain and mess involved)
  • Unicron: *all horrors begotten by the desire of man flash before eyes* woha! this is awkward *the cries of millions suffering echo* Damn That's Weird

Some of y’all are asking about the ritual with the scotch, so HERE IS A STORY THAT SPANS SEVERAL GENERATIONS OF SHENNANIGANS.

So my dad’s side of the family is a bunch of rowdy farm boys with a dark sense of humor. My oldest uncle Tim was the first to get married and the rest of them orchestrated this complicated, almost medieval style dance routine on the dance floor where they would switch dance partners mid-song and slowly danced the bride towards the door, swept her up, put her in the back of the pickup truck, and took her away.

Tim doesn’t notice until the song ends. This was in the 70′s, way before cell phones. The front desk of the hotel gets a call, it’s one of my uncles. “We have your wife. The price is one bottle of scotch.”

He’s like ‘what is this shit?’ And he figures they can’t hold out too long. They have to come back sometime. No. They are literally driving her around the block several times, stopping at pay phones to check in to see if he’s gotten the ransom. This goes on for about an hour.

So he goes out and gets a bottle of scotch, puts it by the door as they drive by and everyone returns.

All the boys got married in the order of their birth and let me just say… they’re not above petty payback. Next one up is Jay who just… seems to forget entirely that his brothers are complete jackasses. Also, he was kind of the ringleader at the last one so there’s no way they could do it to him!

Haha… ha…. haaaaaaaa… oh, uncle Jay. You sweet summer child… who is also several decades older than me. 

Bride gets kidnapped, almost in the same manner as Tim’s. The price, as always, is a bottle of scotch. But Jay… oh… Jay…

Jay just HAD to get his ass married on a Sunday and this is Indiana, buck-o. There ain’t no alcohol sales on Sundays. No liquor stores, no grocery stores, no convenience stores. Nowhere. But there WAS a bar at the Marriott holding the reception. So he had to pay the front desk $75 for a bottle of scotch maybe worth $20 so he could get his wife back. 

A pattern emerges. 

My uncle Moe was next in line. They…. eloped for reasons, but for the purposes of this story we will say that he avoided a situation where his brothers could steal his wife. It’s kind of a personality thing with him, we’ve noticed. Just… ‘oh! Let me avoid this conflict entirely.’ 

Next up is my dad, who is a fun-loving dude who had his reception at a bowling alley and he was NOT, I repeat: NOT- going to have this night ruined by larceny when there is IMPORTANT BOWLING TO BE DONE. Buys a bottle of scotch and and presents it to his brothers with a big audience just so no one can claim that he didn’t. Everyone has fun. 

Moe’s first marriage falls through, and I’m not saying that there’s superstitious reasons for this but I’m just saying- he most certainly DID NOT present a bottle of scotch as an offering at the reception so we must reasonably assume that this had something to do with it. He gets married again and you better believe that there was a bottle of scotch waiting for his brothers at their table. 

So this tradition carried on into the next generation. No one actually expects that the four of them are up to kidnapping anyone when they’re well into their 50′s, but no one is about to risk it. There is a bottle of scotch at the table where the brothers sit at every wedding. 

But my cousin Julia is a perfectionist and if there is any detail that might go wrong, she is going to obsess over it. Because of this, she has a tendency to overcompensate to make sure that NOTHING goes wrong. NOTHING. 

She plans her big moment TO THE MINUTE and a week before the wedding she has this revelation… she has heard… stories. 

Oh no. 

The scotch. 

Around the same time, my grandma is moving out of her old house and she’s inviting family members to rifle through her old things before she gives them to Goodwill. Me, my dad, Tim, and Jay are all there. We’re about to leave when Moe comes up the drive way with a BIG BOX. 

And Gran is like ‘I don’t need more stuff… I don’t need more stuff.. what the fresh hell have you brought to me this time, son of mine?’

He sets it on the floor and it clinks. 

“Julia has ordered me to bring this as a preemptive offer to ensure that there will be no need for a ransom.”

He has brought 24 bottles of scotch. Each brother, including himself, can have six bottles. Whatever debt might have been incurred from his first marriage has been paid off. Her children, and her children’s children, and her children’s children’s children… will no longer need to live in fear of kidnapping on their wedding night. 

This is a sharp contrast to my sister-in-law, who learned of this tradition a week before her wedding, went out and bought a bottle of scotch, slammed it down on their table, and told them to fight for it. 

Pissed Off Playlist

Hey guys! I’ve made a couple of playlist posts before, and I noticed it’s been a while since I last made one and they seem to be my most popular posts, so here is a playlist for songs that I find help me to release my anger, enjoy!


  • Priorities - Don Broco
  • Mix Tape - Brand New
  • Needed Me - Rihanna
  • True Friends - Bring Me The Horizon
  • I Fucking Hate You - Godsmack
  • U + Ur Hand - P!nk
  • Fire - PVRIS
  • Holy - PVRIS
  • The Last Garrison - Enter Shikari
  • You - The 1975
  • Misery Business - Paramore
  • Sucks To Be You - Emma Blackery
  • Gives You Hell - The All-American Rejects
  • La Di Da - VUKOVI
  • Milk and Cookies - Melanie Martinez
  • Ignorance - Paramore
  • Throne - Bring Me The Horizon
  • The Hunter - Slaves
  • Firestarter - The Prodigy
  • Serial Killer - Tigercub
  • Whole - Basement
  • Hard Times - Paramore
  • I Like To Smile When I’m Sad - FREAK
  • Better Strangers - Royal Blood
  • Seventy Times 7 - Brand New

Hope you’re all having a good week!

Rachel

[Giving Annabeth a tour of Camp Jupiter]

Percy: All right, let me introduce you to some of the Romans. Come on up here. I’d like you to meet somebody. This is Hazel. She was born in 1928, and she used to be in a long-term relationship with a man, Sammy, who broke her heart, but she didn’t bring any of that into our quest, it did not affect her performance whatsoever, and I’m very proud of her for that.

Annabeth: [shaking hands with Hazel] Hey, Hazel, it’s good to meet you. 

Percy: This little hell-raiser is Reyna. She had crushes on a bunch of different guys. [pointing to Jason] The one over there, in the purple.

Jason: Hey-o!

Percy: Hey-o. And I’m the other crush.

Annabeth: You know, Percy, I don’t need to know everyone’s sexual history.

Percy: Well, perfect, because we have now arrived at Frank, and he has no sexual history.