bringing on the heartache

Books you should read because I LOVE THEM

Dedication: For @kissmybruisedknuckles who told me to make this because she’s too lazy to make one lol

1. Strange The Dreamer - Laini Taylor

The dream chooses the dreamer, not the other way around—and Lazlo Strange, war orphan and junior librarian, has always feared that his dream chose poorly. Since he was five years old he’s been obsessed with the mythic lost city of Weep, but it would take someone bolder than he to cross half the world in search of it. Then a stunning opportunity presents itself, in the person of a hero called the Godslayer and a band of legendary warriors, and he has to seize his chance or lose his dream forever.

What happened in Weep two hundred years ago to cut it off from the rest of the world? What exactly did the Godslayer slay that went by the name of god? And what is the mysterious problem he now seeks help in solving?

2. The Night Circus - Erin Morgenstern

The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it, no paper notices plastered on lampposts and billboards. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within these nocturnal black-and-white striped tents awaits an utterly unique, a feast for the senses, where one can get lost in a maze of clouds, meander through a lush garden made of ice, stare in wonderment as the tattooed contortionist folds herself into a small glass box, and become deliciously tipsy from the scents of caramel and cinnamon that waft through the air.

Welcome to Le Cirque des Rêves.

3. Unwind - Neil Shusterman

The Second Civil War was fought over reproductive rights. The chilling resolution: Life is inviolable from the moment of conception until age thirteen. Between the ages of thirteen and eighteen, however, parents can have their child “unwound,” whereby all of the child’s organs are transplanted into different donors, so life doesn’t technically end. Connor is too difficult for his parents to control. Risa, a ward of the state, is not enough to be kept alive. And Lev is a tithe, a child conceived and raised to be unwound. Together, they may have a chance to escape and to survive.

4. Cinder - Marissa Meyer

Sixteen-year-old Cinder is considered a technological mistake by most of society and a burden by her stepmother. Being cyborg does have its benefits, though: Cinder’s brain interference has given her an uncanny ability to fix things (robots, hovers, her own malfunctioning parts), making her the best mechanic in New Beijing. This reputation brings Prince Kai himself to her weekly market booth, needing her to repair a broken android before the annual ball. He jokingly calls it “a matter of national security,” but Cinder suspects it’s more serious than he’s letting on.

5. This Savage Song - Victoria Schwab

Kate Harker and August Flynn are the heirs to a divided city—a city where the violence has begun to breed actual monsters. All Kate wants is to be as ruthless as her father, who lets the monsters roam free and makes the humans pay for his protection. All August wants is to be human, as good-hearted as his own father, to play a bigger role in protecting the innocent—but he’s one of the monsters. One who can steal a soul with a simple strain of music. When the chance arises to keep an eye on Kate, who’s just been kicked out of her sixth boarding school and returned home, August jumps at it. But Kate discovers August’s secret, and after a failed assassination attempt the pair must flee for their lives.

6. The Darkest Part of The Forest - Holly Black

Children can have a cruel, absolute sense of justice. Children can kill a monster and feel quite proud of themselves. A girl can look at her brother and believe they’re destined to be a knight and a bard who battle evil. She can believe she’s found the thing she’s been made for.

Hazel lives with her brother, Ben, in the strange town of Fairfold where humans and fae exist side by side. At the center of it all, there is a glass coffin in the woods. It rests right on the ground and in it sleeps a boy with horns on his head and ears as pointed as knives. Hazel and Ben were both in love with him as children. The boy has slept there for generations, never waking.

7. Red Queen - Victoria Aveyard

This is a world divided by blood – red or silver.

The Reds are commoners, ruled by a Silver elite in possession of god-like superpowers. And to Mare Barrow, a seventeen-year-old Red girl from the poverty-stricken Stilts, it seems like nothing will ever change. That is, until she finds herself working in the Silver Palace. Here, surrounded by the people she hates the most, Mare discovers that, despite her red blood, she possesses a deadly power of her own. One that threatens to destroy the balance of power.

8. Daughter of Smoke and Bone - Laini Taylor

In a dark and dusty shop, a devil’s supply of human teeth grows dangerously low. And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherworldly war.

Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real, she’s prone to disappearing on mysterious “errands”, she speaks many languages - not all of them human - and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she’s about to find out.

9. Illuminae - Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff

The year is 2575, and two rival megacorporations are at war over a planet that’s little more than an ice-covered speck at the edge of the universe. Too bad nobody thought to warn the people living on it. With enemy fire raining down on them, Kady and Ezra—who are barely even talking to each other—are forced to fight their way onto an evacuating fleet, with an enemy warship in hot pursuit.

BRIEFING NOTE: Told through a fascinating dossier of hacked documents—including emails, schematics, military files, IMs, medical reports, interviews, and more

10. Legend - Marie Lu

What was once the western United States is now home to the Republic, a nation perpetually at war with its neighbors. Born into an elite family in one of the Republic’s wealthiest districts, fifteen-year-old June is a prodigy being groomed for success in the Republic’s highest military circles. Born into the slums, fifteen-year-old Day is the country’s most wanted criminal. But his motives may not be as malicious as they seem.

From very different worlds, June and Day have no reason to cross paths—until the day June’s brother, Metias, is murdered and Day becomes the prime suspect. Caught in the ultimate game of cat and mouse, Day is in a race for his family’s survival, while June seeks to avenge Metias’s death. But in a shocking turn of events, the two uncover the truth of what has really brought them together, and the sinister lengths their country will go to keep its secrets.

11. Angelfall (Penryn and the end of days) - Susan Ee

It’s been six weeks since angels of the apocalypse descended to demolish the modern world. Street gangs rule the day while fear and superstition rule the night. When warrior angels fly away with a helpless little girl, her seventeen-year-old sister Penryn will do anything to get her back.

Anything, including making a deal with an enemy angel.

12. Caraval - Stephanie Garber

Remember, it’s only a game…

Scarlett Dragna has never left the tiny island where she and her sister, Tella, live with their powerful, and cruel, father. Now Scarlett’s father has arranged a marriage for her, and Scarlett thinks her dreams of seeing Caraval—the faraway, once-a-year performance where the audience participates in the show—are over.

But this year, Scarlett’s long-dreamt-of invitation finally arrives. With the help of a mysterious sailor, Tella whisks Scarlett away to the show. Only, as soon as they arrive, Tella is kidnapped by Caraval’s mastermind organizer, Legend. It turns out that this season’s Caraval revolves around Tella, and whoever finds her first is the winner.

13. The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer - Michelle Hodkin

Mara Dyer believes life can’t get any stranger than waking up in a hospital with no memory of how she got there.

It can.

She believes there must be more to the accident she can’t remember that killed her friends and left her strangely unharmed.

There is.

14. An Ember In The Ashes - Sabaa Tahir

Laia is a slave. Elias is a soldier. Neither is free.

Under the Martial Empire, defiance is met with death. Those who do not vow their blood and bodies to the Emperor risk the execution of their loved ones and the destruction of all they hold dear. It is in this brutal world, inspired by ancient Rome, that Laia lives with her grandparents and older brother. The family ekes out an existence in the Empire’s impoverished backstreets. They do not challenge the Empire. They’ve seen what happens to those who do.

15. The Darkest Minds - Alexandra Bracken

When Ruby woke up on her tenth birthday, something about her had changed. Something frightening enough to make her parents lock her in the garage and call the police. Something that got her sent to Thurmond, a brutal government “rehabilitation camp.” She might have survived the mysterious disease that had killed most of America’s children, but she and the others emerged with something far worse: frightening abilities they could not control.

16. The Wrath and The Dawn - Renee Ahdieh

One Life to One Dawn.

In a land ruled by a murderous boy-king, each dawn brings heartache to a new family. Khalid, the eighteen-year-old Caliph of Khorasan, is a monster. Each night he takes a new bride only to have a silk cord wrapped around her throat come morning. When sixteen-year-old Shahrzad’s dearest friend falls victim to Khalid, Shahrzad vows vengeance and volunteers to be his next bride. Shahrzad is determined not only to stay alive, but to end the caliph’s reign of terror once and for all.

There are some people we cannot help but love, no matter how complicated or disastrous it may be for us. If we could choose not to love them we would, simply because they bring us nothing but heartache and despair… Yet for reasons beyond our control, we cannot help but love them… and as painful and as complicated as the situation inevitably is, our love for them remains simple and pure. We don’t want to love them, we try not to love them… in fact there are times we’d almost love to hate them for the anguish they cause us – but still our hearts refuse to give up on them as a lost cause when our better judgment tells us differently.
And ultimately relationships like that are indeed a test of love – but not in the way that we think. They’re not there to test the limits of what love can endure… they’re there to test if we love ourselves enough to walk away.

So, @thepsychicclam posted this, and then this happened:

Stiles listened to the latest musicians that Derek had brought to court to play for him with a wide smile and a thankfully small amount of hand movements. They were, as all the artists that Derek presented to him with startling frequency and fervor were, wonderfully talented, and playing a piece that had been commissioned just for him.

Sometimes, Stiles thought that his husband’s gifts and ever increasing support of Stiles’ interests might mean that his own feelings of deep abiding love may be returned by his king, but in his more reasonable moments he knew his love was unreturned. Derek had always been a generous and attentive man, even as a child he would allow Stiles to choose their activities and humor him in his frequent schemes. When Stiles proposed that they sneak into the castle kitchens to steal some of their favorite cakes, Derek rolled his eyes fondly (“They’re my kitchens, Stiles! And yours as well!” “Yes, but we aren’t meant to be in there now, silly!”) and acquiesced with enthusiasm as they tiptoed around the halls and into the pantry.

The head cook had found them covered in icing and failing to contain their laughter.

Thinking of it now brings a warm glow to Stiles’ chest even as it sets off a cascade of similarly joyful memories of growing up as Derek’s best friend. They were so close that Stiles had never considered that he would marry anyone else, though when he was old enough to understand that he was in fact Derek’s intended, the betrothal sent a panic through him. How could he ever think that a union with a man he loved so deeply, but could only look upon him as a dear friend, would bring him anything but heartache?

In the end, Stiles had decided that life without romantic love but with Derek by his side was far better than life away from the man who reigned in his heart.

Sitting now, beside his husband, ensconced in ornately carved thrones with soft velvet cushions, Derek’s arm resting close enough to his own that he can feel the warmth radiating from him, seeing his friends in court smiling and enjoying the music created just for him, Stiles knows he’s exactly where he wants to be. Even Boyd and Isaac, their usually stoic guards appeared to be enjoying themselves, though each man was regarding their kings with indecipherable looks.

Stiles takes a deep breath and turns to his husband only to find Derek looking back at him, a smile curving his lips in a way that still makes Stiles’ heart flutter. He can feel his own grin widen in response as Derek’s eyebrows raise in question. “Are you pleased, my dear husband?”

Stiles’ heart stutters then gallops at the thoughts that assail him, all the ways he’d like to please his king, the oft imagined looks of pleasure he’d like to paint upon Derek’s beloved face. He must get lost in thinking about how Derek’s skin would feel beneath his hands, because Derek’s brow furrows in concern. “Stiles? Is something the matter?”

“No, my king,” Stiles hurries to reassure, “I was simply trying to decide how best to tell you how perfectly lovely this evening has been thus far.”

Derek’s smile is so bright it puts the castle’s chandeliers to shame, and Stiles feels an elated pride bubble in his chest.

“I am exceedingly happy to hear you say so,” Derek says genuinely, the radiant smile still in place and the corners of his beautiful eyes crinkling slightly. The way Derek looks at him then, his entire regard focused on Stiles and the force of his honest joy makes Stiles forget that they are a couple bound by duty and friendly affection. It makes him believe for a moment that they share a love that will inspire artists for decades.

It emboldens him, and he places his hand over Derek’s, suppressing a shiver when Derek moves ever so slightly so that his thumb can run lightly over the outside of his pinkie. “I am exceedingly happy that you are exceedingly happy,” Stiles teases.

After another long moment simply getting lost in watching one another, a particularly evocative piece of the song draws Stiles’ attention and he turns to see how those gathered to dance interpret it. He can feel Derek still watching him, and it turns his smile small and private as he ducks his head briefly. Derek’s hand is still warm and real under his own, and as the evening stretches into night, it remains there, tapping the occasional rhythm against Stiles’ hand, their fingers eventually entwining.

Neither dares acknowledge it, but neither do they pull away. When it is time to applaud, the lost contact is nearly unbearable. When their hands automatically settle back together, Stiles feels like he’s soaring.

Whenever you find yourself lost, just sit down and look at the stars,and remember that wherever you go, I’ll find you and bring you back home.



❝ you don’t listen to me anymore. ❞
❝ your voice is a weapon, and we’ll do with it what we can. ❞
❝ i’ll fall into your arms again. ❞


❝ you don’t have to look any further. ❞
❝ i’ve been waiting here for you for a time. ❞
❝ you’re missing what is right before your eyes. ❞
❝ no one’s gonna stick the pieces together for you. ❞
❝ you’ve got your claws buried deep. ❞
❝ you better sink your teeth before i disappear. ❞
❝ i’m trying to keep my composure. ❞
❝ you’ve been looking me over. ❞
❝ i’m tired of waving my arms in the back of the line. ❞
❝ there are only so many times that i can come running. ❞
❝ and there are only so many times that i can come running for you. ❞


❝ what do you say? ❞
❝ air knocked out of my lungs, your cue to stay. ❞
❝ yeah, that’s your cue to stay. ❞
❝ don’t turn your back on me. ❞
❝ don’t bury your head deep just cause you don’t know what to say. ❞
❝ it’s true that it kicks you in the teeth when you are least expecting. ❞
❝ oh it beats you black and blue before you see it coming. ❞
❝ bad news like a sucker punch threw me away. ❞
❝ people fill the streets like nothing has changed. ❞
❝ they don’t look the same. ❞
❝ maybe i just want some words of distraction. ❞
❝ i feel like i’m being consumed. ❞
❝ maybe i’m expecting the perfect reaction to pull me back. ❞


❝ shout out from the bottom of my lungs. ❞
❝ this thing. it’s a family affair. ❞
❝ it’s drawing out my weakness. ❞
❝ there was a time when a moment like this wouldn’t ever cross my mind. ❞
❝ the sun will rise with my name on your lips. ❞
❝ ‘cause everything will change tonight. ❞
❝ i want to be back on the ground where my feet touch my shadow. ❞
❝ i want to dig my heels in the dirt, feel it break between all my toes. ❞
❝ anything to stop floating 'round. ❞
❝ take breath and push the anger down. ❞
❝ try to remember calmness.  ❞
❝ what’s the gravity upon your face? ❞
❝ so i’m the one who’s bleeding. ❞
❝ real men. always thinking with y/our fists. ❞
❝ my turn to be the victim. ❞


❝ long lost opinions, all the words you can’t redeem. ❞
❝ don’t come round here and be a slave to old ideas. ❞
❝ scream hallelujah if it’s a thing that helps you breathe. ❞
❝ your iron rule has often had me on my knees. ❞
❝ you better sharpen up 'cause all you have is your axe to grind round here.  ❞
❝ breaking the silence like i’m bursting at the seams. ❞
❝ so many stifled thoughts and long forgotten dreams. ❞
❝ i can almost taste reprieve. ❞
❝ keep on talking to yourself. ❞
❝ 'cause no one needs to hear the words your read. ❞
❝ 'cause you’re gonna have to swing that axe round here. ❞


❝ i could only be myself with you around. ❞
❝ and now there’s nothing left for me to think about. ❞
❝ and it hurts like hell. ❞
❝ we were born to be together, torn apart. ❞
❝ you stepped with a heavy tread and left your mark. ❞
❝ oh, you left your mark on me. ❞
❝ it hurts like hell to be torn apart, to be thrown around. ❞
❝ my yin and yang is killin’ me. ❞
❝ gotta get back, back to the synergy. ❞
❝ don’t forget where i been. ❞
❝ but you’re gonna remember. ❞
❝ buddy i, i don’t mean to kill your vibe. ❞
❝ but if you got it, you get it, and i’ve been gettin’ this shit for a long time. ❞
❝ happiness only brings heartache. ❞
❝ i’m so beyond naughty. ❞
❝ and if you don’t like it then why do you want me? ❞
❝ don’t front if i tickle the strings on your heart. ❞
❝ you play second fiddle to my instrumental. ❞
❝ your critical nature departs in the middle of all of my riddles. ❞
❝ you’ve given up trying, and now you just tear me apart. ❞


❝ this is a vocal confession. ❞
❝ right now your cause is at war. ❞
❝ right now your voice is a weapon. ❞
❝ watch all the storms on the rise. ❞
❝ no more falling to pressure. ❞
❝ no more failing acceptance. ❞
❝ throw all your hells towards the heavens. ❞
❝ we dance with the devils and make your halos the color of sinners’ portraits. ❞
❝ and smothering it means everything’s lovely again. ❞
❝ nothing’s quite as it seems. ❞
❝ society’s altered, you see. ❞
❝ kill all your fear in your sleep. ❞
❝ cause everything’s formed in a dream. ❞
❝ breathe in insanity’s grip. ❞
❝ those are words from insanity’s lips. ❞
❝ we’re falling from sanity’s cliff. ❞
❝ you’re watching your vanity slip. ❞
❝ run before the evil erupts. ❞
❝ this is volcanic feverish lust. ❞
❝ vengeance is me speaking up. ❞
❝ this is me speaking up. ❞
❝ choose your words and etch them on your soul. ❞
❝ make them heard when crowds drown out your call. ❞
❝ leave behind your questions, silent thoughts and mentions. ❞
❝ a wake has to be left, so never falter down. ❞
❝ so do with it what you can. ❞


❝ i came here for sanctuary. ❞
❝ to be away from the winds and the sounds of the city. ❞
❝ i came here to get some peace. ❞
❝ yes, way down here where the shadows are heavy. ❞
❝ i can’t help but think of you. ❞
❝ in these four walls, my thoughts seem to wonder. ❞
❝ to some distant century where everyone we know is six feet under. ❞
❝ so when all of your friends are dead and just a memory, and we’re side by side? ❞
❝ it’s always been just you and me for all to see. ❞
❝ when our lives are over and all that remains are our skulls and bones, let’s take it to the grave. ❞
❝ hold me in your arms. ❞
❝ i’ll be buried here with you. ❞
❝ i’ll hold in these hands all that remains. ❞
❝ i don’t want to rest in peace. ❞
❝ we can haunt each other’s dreams. ❞
❝ we’ll fight underneath this surf, bicker away in the darkness. ❞
❝ we’ll find our way to result away from the lands of the living. ❞
❝ we’ll find a common ground and fall in love all over again. ❞
❝ all of our friends are dead and just a memory. ❞
❝ from dusk 'til dawn, the other’s screams grow silent  ❞
❝ i know i chased a memory. ❞
❝ but you used to taste so sweet. ❞
❝ as you faded away, i realized it’s all over. ❞
❝ nothing stays the same. ❞

A Defeated Man

Characters:  Dean, Reader

Summary: The reader is the only one that Dean can share his secrets with.

Warnings:  I fell into the angst hole with this one.  Sorry.

A Defeated Man

If you knew Dean when he was younger, you wouldn’t recognize the man he is today. I can say that with confidence because I knew him back when. Back when he used to be cocky; cocksure. Full of confidence, full of fight, ready for anything. He was full of life back then. I can’t say that Dean was ever happy, but he had a lust for life. There was zeal in his heart, excitement in his eyes.

Today, he’s a different man, a defeated man. His knuckles are bloody and scraped, his face mottled with a mosaic of bluish purple bruises. He has a mark seared into his skin of his arm that he can’t rid himself of. It’s slowly eating away at every scrap of goodness left in him, the pieces of his humanity that haven’t yet been destroyed. Dean is changing in ways he doesn’t understand. Maybe he doesn’t want to understand. Gone is the man who’d laugh in the face of evil and taunt monsters, here sits a man wearied and worn. He quite literally carries the weight of the world on his shoulders some days, and the bone-crushing heaviness weighs him down, pulling him into a dark abyss of sorrow and sadness. He spends far too much time inside a bottle, the blood on his hands seems as if it will never wash away.

My fingers skim over the nape of his neck, his hair has begun to curl slightly along the hairline. It’s been too long since he’s had it cut, he can’t find the time or the will for the mundane. Involuntarily, he flinches away from my touch, he doesn’t even realize he does it.

I long to take away his pain, to lock it up in my own heart, to carry his burdens, the brokenness of him. I want to stitch his heart back together, gathering the pieces in my hands and tenderly molding them back into something he can recognize, something that will quiet and calm his soul.  

I’ve been with Dean for years, in some way or another. We were important to one another, we leaned on one another, from time to time we shared physical comfort. We were never two halves of a whole, never destined to be, not star-crossed lovers. Despite it all, we formed a connection, a bond that linked us. Maybe it was the life, the shared tragedy. Only a hunter can truly understand one of their own.  

In the end, I’d become another check mark on his vast and ever growing list of things that cause him pain. It was through no fault of my own or of his. But this is an inherent part of Dean, this is the crux of the man that he is - he takes everything on as his own fault. If only he’d been smarter, faster, stronger. I know he has these thoughts because he’s shared them with me.  

He still talks to me about these things. Truthfully, since that fateful day, he’s only become more open and more honest with me. He tells me everything, the darkest things, the things I wish I didn’t know. He has no one else to talk to. The words tumble out in a rush sometimes surprising even him, filling the empty air with his heartache and loss. Sam tries to bring him out of his shell, but he can never speak freely with his brother. There’s too much history there. Dean, forever and always, will seek to protect his brother from the darkest secrets, the ones he harbors deep inside of him. With me, there’s no judgment. Which is part of the reason I can’t bring myself to try and leave.

Even if I could leave, I don’t think I would. He doesn’t even know how much he needs me, the small comfort I can bring him. Sam doesn’t know about this, it’s our secret. Or more like my secret.

For years now, since that day, he’s worn the talisman I crafted for him around his neck on a silver chain. He never takes it off, not even to shower.

If he knew the truth, he’d take it off. He’d burn it in a heartbeat.

He never would have wanted this, and that’s why I can never tell him, never reveal myself.

The talisman is what binds me to him, keeps my spirit here. Even after my body was burned on the pyre and reduced to ash, it keeps me here.  

It’s like I said though, even if I could leave, I wouldn’t. I’ll stay by his side until that mark takes away every bit of the man inside, until Dean Winchester no longer exists.

He needs me and I won’t abandon him a second time.

Keep reading

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
—  A Fine Frenzy

anonymous asked:

I just absolutely love the idea of Lance feeling replaced when Keith brings in Shiro, but imagine if it's SHIRO THAT BRINGS IN KEITH. Imagine Lance having heartache that his idol, who returned his feelings, simply wanted to replace him. -whumpdump

Oh my god yes!! I love that. Ugh, small fic inspired by it below (Btw I love your blog, omg yes. you’re one of the people who got me to make this blog here!! Love your writing so much!!) 


Lance thought that finally, finally he had been accepted. Been needed for who he was, it was amazing. Especially because it was his idol, Shiro. He was so happy, loving the affection and the attention he was given. Then Shiro decided, maybe Keith would be a good addition to their relationship. 

Instantly Keith took over everything Lance previously had done and was given. They became distant to Lance and honestly he felt useless. Just like in the Garrison, never enough to beat Keith. It was those thoughts that got Lance to stop taking care of himself. If he couldn’t beat Keith in a relationship everything was pointless right? 

He stopped eating, barely nibbling on the food Hunk brought him when he stayed in his room all day. Practicing until late at night and blacks spots began creeping into his vision. Forgetting his skin care routine and sometimes forgetting to even bathe for a few days. 

He assumed the negligence lead to his demise of getting a high fever and being unable to move. His limbs felt numb and heavy like lead and his head pounded. His throat was scratchy from coughing, trying to get rid of the mucus in his lungs. His nose felt stuffed up and his face felt congested, forcing Lance to breathe from his mouth shallowly. 

He accepted his fate, unable to get help as he couldn’t find the energy to get up to even find Hunk. His eyes began slipping close, a cough escaping his lips again, the wetness moving up the more he coughed but never finding its way out of him. Sighing he rested back into his cool sheets and blanket, the fabric feeling soft and cold on his burning skin. His face was flushed as visibly as his tanned skin could be. 

He barely registered the door opening before a cold hand pressed back against his neck. He squeaked out, coughing and trying to turn to the body next to him. “S-Shiro…?” he mumbled, seeing the metallic hand, explaining why the hand was freezing cold against his feverish skin.

“Lance what’s wrong, you’ve been getting worse these days…” Shiro said, kneeling and finally pressing his human hand to Lance’s forehead as the boy almost coughed up his lungs for the fifteenth thousandth time that day. He instantly recoiled and was about to speak but Lance sputtered out a few words. 

“I-I’m fine.. Just go back to Keith… He needs you more than me..” he said weakly, voice hoarse and raw from the coughing. As Shiro pressed a hand to his hot cheek he couldn’t stop himself from leaning into it. “Keith can wait, you’re my boyfriend too, and i guess i wasn’t making you feel that way and neither was Keith. After this passes we’ll make it up to you Kitten, for now let’s go and get you some medicine because i don’t want you coughing up your insides,” Shiro said making Lance whimper. 

“I love you shiro… I don’t wanna be second place to Keith again,” Lance whispered, delirious as he passed out, face in Shiro’s hand. Sighing Shiro smiled sweetly and pressed a soft cool kiss to Lance’s hot forehead. “You’ll always be first place in our hearts Kitten,” Shiro whispered, thankful Lance wasn’t awake as he pulled away. Snickering he picked the boy up, deciding that before he began loving on him to go and get him fixed up and feeling better. 

It had been a full 24 hours since Alec had seen Magnus. A full 24 hours since he watched the love of his life walk away from him. A full 24 hours of feeling numb, of feeling like there was nothing, not even the impending war, that would break him as much as watching Magnus step into that elevator.

Alec supposed he was lucky that there was a lot going on, that he had a big enough distraction so that he could block out the thoughts that wanted to invade his mind. Jace kept sending him apologetic looks, seeming to know exactly what happened – Alec supposed he could feel his heartache through the bond, but he couldn’t bring himself to talk about it.

Izzy seemed to understand his feelings better than he did, kept pressing Alec to just slow down, rest for five minutes, talk to me. But he couldn’t. Maybe if he kept ignoring what happened, maybe just maybe it would all turn out to just be a dream. A horrid, horrid dream.

It had been 24 hours and he was faced with the fact that they needed to go out and fight, they needed to stop Valentine and Jonathan before it was too late. It was 24 hours and he was faced with the fact that they needed Magnus’ help, needed the warlocks on their side. 24 hours and he had his mother looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to contact Magnus. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t.

“Mum, I’ve already contacted Magnus, Alec has been busy. He does run this Institute, he has to make sure everyone here is ready and prepared to fight. I got the warlocks, Clary got –“ Jace’s voice became background noise. Everything became background noise. Except for the thoughts in his head. You should’ve done better, you should’ve loved him stronger, you should’ve refused to let go.

“I’ve gotta go, we need everyone in teams to head out.” Alec blurted out, quickly leaving the office. The far too quiet office, where only a couple days ago him and Magnus had sat to eat dinner. The same office where everything had gone wrong. Where he lied and lost the trust of the one person he thought he could hold on to.

Another hour had past bringing the total up to 25 hours since he had seen Magnus – not that he was counting. He hadn’t slept, he hadn’t eaten, he just spent his time sorting everyone out and beating the punching bag that had probably grown to resent him. He was so tired that he didn’t hear the opening of a portal, missed the sound of footsteps from behind him. It wasn’t until he heard his voice that the hairs on his arms stood up, that a shiver went down his spine. He was here.

He knew he had to talk to him, to them. He had to do this for everyone else; his happiness was not important right now. But then he turned around to come face-to-face with Magnus. And then bloodshot eyes met bloodshot eyes. He had seen Magnus in pain, in tears, and the thought that he caused him to feel that way broke Alec even more – if that was even humanly possible.

And it was in that very moment that he knew; he knew he wasn’t going to give up that easy.

He had spent 25 hours without the love of his life. And he was damn well certain that he was going to do everything that he could to get him back. That he would grovel on his knees if he had to.

But right now, all he could do was throw all caution to the wind and pulled Magnus in for a bone crushing hug that felt like home, which felt like breathing again. He felt Magnus’ arms wrap around him and felt the tremors rolling through their bodies as silent tears collected in their eyes, neither of them caring about all the prying eyes around them.

All he could do was whisper I’m sorry’s and I love you’s into Magnus’ shoulder. All he could do was listen to the same sentiments roll from Magnus’ own mouth. All he could do was promise, promise with his whole being that he would make everything right again.

Not everything was perfect; they still had a long way to go. But in that moment, where they were wrapped around each other and their own love, in that moment Alec knew he would truly do anything for this man. That he would do anything to make him happy again.

It was a full 25 hours since they last saw each other, but they still managed to make their way back home.

Unrequited // Kol Mikaelson // requested

Request : can u do a onesided kolxreader where she has a crush on kol but he is with readers sister? Whether kol n sister know of your feeling or not is up to u. Thanks. 

Sorry for the long wait!!! This has been in my ask for like a month lol.

Requests are closed. xx

Pairing : KolxReadersSister

Originally posted by rescuemeifyoucan

Originally posted by peudefoi

s/n - sisters name

I stood on the other side of the bar, watching as he danced with my sister. I could see why he chose her. She’s beautiful, smart, and everything I’m not. I’m just the stupid sister with a third grade crush. But that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. They look so happy.. I just wish I was the one who made him that happy.

Love is a terrible thing. It’s even worse when it’s unrequited. You know almost every detail of this person, you know how to talk to them and how to make them feel better. Yet… no matter how hard you try they only want that other person. When I couldn’t watch anymore I quickly turned on my heel and left the building.

Keep reading

There’s hurt already for the ways I will leave you. did you know you’re supposed to build a coffin in advance? seems presumptuous. seems baiting. i hope you don’t mind the nails in our bed.

i texted your friend when you were driving, just to feel like someone else for a bit. it might make me a bad person but, that’s who I was before you.

the clanging has started in my bones again. i know I shouldn’t burn us down but my hands are aching for gasoline. i just want to feel the heat. take apart the foundation. this won’t last the summer.

have you ever been in love? it’s nothing like this. it’s nothing like this.

Killing me softly: Part 2

Originally posted by nojillnolife

A story filled with angst, heartbreak, love and sex. It is a Finn Balor/Reader/Kenny Omega story. Comments ARE welcomed! Let me know if you would like to be tagged.

Note: This has semi sexy times. Be gentle with me ya’ll the next chapter is ALL smut.











































Part 1

No one knew I was coming.

I didn’t want them to know either…at least for right now.

I made my way to the familiar Sushi restaurant. I was welcomed with smiling faces and the heartache I felt before slowly disappeared. I made my way towards the table that Finn and I first met. It wasn’t like I was purposely trying to bring more heartache to myself, but it brought back memories of simpler times.

Times where Finn would always pretend to be my boyfriend when I was getting uncomfortable with someone approaching me. Times where I had to do the same because the girls couldn’t get the hint. Times where Finn would spend hours in the ring with me even if he had a match later that night. Times where I would often wake up from a reoccurring nightmare to only have him end up sleeping with me every night. The warmness of his body always brought me peace and the way his arms held me gave me hope.

As I sat there slowing tracing the pattern on the table I couldn’t help but wish that Finn would suddenly appear and sit beside me like he did before. I wanted my best friend back but I knew it wasn’t going to be simple. It never is. As I ate my food, playing with it more than eating, I quickly paid and left. The memories becoming too strong for me to handle. It wasn’t until I saw the server pick up my food that I noticed I didn’t even order my favorite I ordered his.

Keep reading

“Dear younger me,
If I knew then what I know now
Condemnation would’ve had no power
My joy my pain would’ve never been my worth
If I knew then what I know now
Would’ve not been hard to figure out
What I would’ve changed if I had heard…

Dear younger me
It’s not your fault.

You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed

Every mountain every valley
Thru each heartache you will see
Every moment brings you closer
To who you were meant to be!”

How wonderful it is to discover that you are loved!  When you thought you were alone, to find that you are wanted!  To know that all along there were those who believed you were great!

@merlinsmushrooms had this song on a playlist for Cedric and I just couldn’t stop thinking about it so have some art.


In Love with Def Leppard, I would have LOVED to see them live in the 80’s and I still do!