bringing it as a god

anonymous asked:

I'm sure Dean/Chuck parallels have been drawn already w/ the pieces of exploded Cas/siren clinging to them stuff (&we all know Cas is Dean's siren ;) ), but I wanted to point out how big of an asshole Chuck was in that moment bc it hit me looking at gifs that, horrible & funny in a terrible way as that moment was, what I can't forgive is Chuck being like ''I dunno, I guess" or smth similar when asked if Cas is dead, I BET he was still undecided whether or not he was gonna bring him back, BOO!!

God, yeah. (probably the wrong turn of phrase when I’m side-eyeing God the character :P)

It’s always interested me that Cas has no timeline for his resurrection there. He seems to know that Sam and Dean are alive and how that happened but then he might have just been brought back and been fighting angels ever since, trying to get to them sooner - not like he booped into existence moments before he starts fucking shit up on screen (although tbh what a resurrection if his first moment IS him just showing up and stabbing someone :P) 

But no… Knowing Chuck IS God for definites, it seems in the fandom to be a sort of consensus that he decides Cas is worth resurrecting after 4x22… but what if he was going to let that be a big heroic sacrifice and everything continues on its merry (tragic) way, but then Dean doesn’t do what he expects - he grabs a car, and immediately drives miles in the wrong direction BACK to Chuck’s house to see what happened to Cas as a first priority, and then is visibly devastated when all that happens. Like, he doesn’t care if Chuck is alive or not and since Chuck’s protected by Raphael Dean would have no reason to think he wouldn’t be - that was all back tracking to see if Cas was okay, and he doesn’t even ask Chuck for any advice/prophecy/whatever, so Chuck has to go send Becky after them when they don’t even use him for plot purposes. And then there’s “learned that from my friend Cas” to Zach…

Maybe Chuck realises there that they’re A: really going to be in with a shot at resisting his story (I think 4x18 was a test too because it’s like a microcosm of season 5 and they win, so he’s already sort of seeing if they’re up to it) but B: they’re going to need Cas. Or, Dean is. He saw in 4x22 (and 4x18) that Cas could use free will and would pick humanity… I guess in 5x01 he sees Dean genuinely cares and learns from Cas… And he changes his own story just a little to see what else they can do together. 

I mean he kinda sucks as God but he does ship it hard :P 

Our Lord Christ speaks: “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live.” Thus he says: You have no idea who I am and what I mean for you, have done and will do for you, if you do not look beyond this life to eternity.… If you want to understand me, you must go beyond the temporal to the eternal, for I am he who brings the kingdom of God to you.… To those who are satisfied with the world and the things of the world I will have nothing – nothing at all – to say except this: that they must go to their own ruin. But to those who have noticed that this earthly life in itself has no meaning but can receive its meaning only from beyond, to them I say: I guarantee you this goal; yes, even more: I am this goal. I am the resurrection and the life.
—  Emil Brunner, I Believe in the Living God
Morning

Slept last night or should I say slept last midnight with papers and pens surrounding me, lights on and I’m in my most uncomfortable position. This is my set-up for the past six months. But I know it will be worth it. All of these will be worth it. I dont know when, Im uncertain about the future but God wont bring me this far for nothing. He has a plan and I know it’s better than my personal interests. He has prepared everything and all I need is to trust in Him. Minsan nakakapagod na but giving up is not a choice. It will never be a choice. Heart strong, Nikki. You can get through this. 💪👏🏻

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Looking back, I can’t remember the truth. I blew everything out of proportion so I could feel the hurt and betrayal and write about it in vivid detail. It was my own method of torture. My own undoing; and I enjoyed every second of it.
—  c.j.n.