bring yourself

The fact that Oswald was still holding his drink when Barbara came to wake him up is just… So painful?? Like he’s literally been drinking himself to sleep each night ON HIS AND ED’S COUCH, waiting, HOPING, that Ed will come back, and then he wakes up clearly hungover with drink still in hand and the first thing out of his mouth is where is Ed. Like. Oh Oswald. Why, why did you bring this on yourself??

The worst part is looking back
And wondering exactly when
You stopped loving me the way I loved you

I think it was a little before
That night I thought I’d kill myself
And you left me there laying on the floor
To go and be with him
What the fuck was that?

What really hurts the most is that
For a while I could tell that you wanted me to leave
But couldn’t bring yourself to say it
Why couldn’t you just be honest with me?

And all the times that you agreed
That you should stop with hurting me
And that you should stop seeing him
Well, look at where we are now

I still get drunk almost every night
Thinking about this all the time
You brought all the way up here
And couldn’t even let me down softly

A reminder that it is totally okay to take inspiration from other people and to encourage yourself to live a similar lifestyle as somebody you admire. But do not stray away from who you are. Do not bring yourself down by trying to become exactly like someone else. Become proud of yourself because you believe in your own unique personality and strengths. You do not need to constantly compare yourself to other people. Embrace your own opportunities and successes, and remember to surround your life with people who will support you every step of the way.  

Sometimes i wonder if people who claim to be genderfluid really are just binary Trans people that don’t understand dysphoria is not constant and consistent of a feeling. Like that you can have bad days, or good days. Some days being misgendered doesn’t hurt so bad, and some days being misgendered feels like a stab in the gut. Some days it’s easier to function than others, and you can take a shower without feeling too horrible, while other days you can’t bring yourself to look in a mirror.

It is not a constant state of severe suffering, just as mental illness is not always a constant state of severity. Having a better day doesn’t suddenly make you not the gender you identify as. Everyone can have different levels of severity in gender dysphoria and that’s okay.

“but poe wouldn’t even be ‘space latinx’ because yavin 4 was abandoned, stop acting like he has to be headcanon’d as speaking space spanish or having a latinx identity!1!”

first off: just say you’re racist, it’s who you are

second off: yavin 4′s first permanent settlement colony was the survivors of the alderaanian genocide. alderaan was space latinx, or at LEAST space spain if you really can’t bring yourself to think that a space latinx planet could have been “the jewel of the core” bc you are racist.

2a) let’s take a look at some canonical alderaanians:

the most notable alderaanian besides leia with an actor counterpart is bail organa, played by jimmy smits, who is puerto rican-american.

“but AHA!” you racistly claim, with a racist finger in the air, “what about max von sydow? HIS character is alderaanian!”

2b) let’s look at some traditional alderaanian names from canon:

  • anandra milon
  • santigo milon
  • lor san tekka <– max von sydow
  • liana merian

i mean they’re star wars Space Names but you have to be purposefully obtuse to ignore the earthbound schema they’re based on. alderaan = a part of Space Latin America. alderaanians = colonized yavin 4. their names are as reflective of alderaan’s space puerto rican identity as “cassian jeron andor” is of fest’s mexican coding. stop being deliberately obtuse; you’re not being MORE creative by insisting on whiteness or whatever it is you think you’re doing.

also, in the words of oscar isaac, aka poe dameron himself: “ Because Latino is not a race – it’s a culture. There’s Chinese Latinos, there’s very white Latinos, there’s very dark Latinos, there’s black Latinos. There’s all sorts of variants – it’s not one thing.”

you’re not being pinned down to one idea/theme when people criticize your White Poe headcanons and say that he has to be space latinx. you’re being challenged for your narrow-mindedness and lack of creativity.

2c) yavin 4 = literally guatemala, by the way, like that was… the whole. thing. of making poe yavi. yavin 4 itself is meant to be read as part of space latin america.

2d) let’s look at how alderaan, also, was not the only planet coded as being part of space latin america, given that cassian andor is from fest. where were shara and kes, poe’s parents, from? we don’t know. but you know what probably encompassed many planets? space latin america. like earth latin america: a wide variety of cultures and countries and spread across races.

2e) that said, let’s look real quick at how shara and kes are not white people.

third off: let’s look at oscar isaac, who is guatemalan and specifically asked for poe to be from yavin 4 BECAUSE it is guatemala and it was important to him and that’s reason enough to stop being a dickhole about the canon fact of poe’s latinidad:

(side note:HOW PERFECT ARE SHARA AND KES? THEIR CHILD TOTALLY /WOULD/ BE POE.)

thank you.

QUESTION ONE:
when is a bed not a bed?

when it’s a prison. when it’s a morgue. when it’s 4 in the
evening and you
can’t get out from under the covers. when you just want to study but
every bad thought
is hitting you and all the bruises are showing. nothing is working. you’re tired
but then again
you’re always tired. you’re always tired.


QUESTION TWO:
did he ever love you?


short answer- no
evidence- he’s with her now. he could’ve been with you but instead you’re alone
and you can’t
bring yourself to think of her as anything less than something ruinous,
something with blood on her hands.
you ignore the taste of metal in your own mouth,
like your innocence really is still there after everything.
like hers wasn’t.


QUESTION THREE:
are you going to survive this?


survive what? the divorce or
the emptiness? the way your dad fell out of love with your mom or
the way the boy in next semester’s guitar class is
never going to look at you like you
mean something to him.
survive what?
be more specific. the answer is only yes sometimes.

—  please answer truthfully. this is a test– lily rain 

writer problems

  • fighting with a sentence for literal hours before realizing that it works fine enough on its own
  • asking advice for pieces you will probably never publish, leaving your readers hanging, wondering why the hell you needed to know what getting your ass squeezed felt like
  • realizing you have no less than three fics/updates complete but can’t publish any of them for various reasons
  • dialogue
  • just
  • fuckin
  • dialogue
  • blank word documents
  • babbling excitedly to yourself about new aus that will never see the light of day
  • getting really invested in these aus but not having a plot with which to bring them to life
  • crippling self-hatred and doubt
  • rediscovering really old documents that are literally just one or two lines of dialogue and wondering where the fuck your past self was going with them
  • rediscovering really old documents that have entire scenes in them and realizing you still really like the concept of those fics but being unsure of how to continue them from there
  • redundancy
  • knowing you should edit your pieces but being unable to bring yourself to give a fuck
  • deciding that your 20 wips can totally take a backseat to the shiny new idea you just got like 5 minutes ago
  • forgetting your entire vocabulary
  • sitting down and writing 2k of your new idea before you realize the internal logic doesn’t work
  • wondering if you can find enough fucks to care
  • finding enough fucks to care
  • digging through 2k of brain-excretion to find the specific phrases where the logic falls through and trying to fix them
  • failing
  • giving up and jumping to the next shiny new idea instead of working on any of your now 21 abandoned wips

Understanding and improving your own mind, and bettering your experience of being a person is really a full time hobby. It take practice, just like any vocation. Learning to be a violinist or a carpenter takes training, and so does simply learning to be

It takes a lot of time, patience and compassion, to bring yourself balance, to learn to live in harmony with yourself. No one really tells you this, but you have to be your own therapist and your own best friend. It’s a lot of work: it requires sustained conscious effort and attention. But it’s so worth it. Nothing else can improve your experience of being alive as much.

Be mindful of the way you speak to yourself. You can lift yourself up or bring yourself down just as much as anyone else can.
POSITIVITY POST

i just wanted to say that every single one of you reading this are beautiful. no matter what society says, no matter what the kids at school say, no matter what your siblings say, no matter what your parents or grandparents say. you are beautiful. inside and out and hopefully you see that and if you don’t, i hope one day you do. you are not fat. your hair looks amazing. your eyebrows are on point. your outfit is perfect. look in the mirror and tell yourself “i’m beautiful” and smile at yourself and i promise you, it’ll make your day so much better. you are amazing. you are beautiful. you are worth it. and above all you are loved. i love you. your parents love you. your family loves you. your idol loves you. please, never let anyone tell you who to be. you do you. you are your own person and what others say, it doesn’t matter at all. what you think of yourself, is the only opinion that matters. if any of you ever feel sad, lost, lonely or just want a friend, i’m always here to chat just message me! i love you, you’re beautiful. stay strong, stay alive. 🖤

The Wiccan’s Glossary

A rainbow obsidian heart is a wonderful crystal to use to nurture and rejuvenate your heart after experiencing an emotional trauma, such as a broken heart or period of grief. Lay the rainbow obsidian heart over your heart, with the heart patterned side facing down, and bring yourself face to face with your emotions in order to heal.