bring me the chosen one

Okay, as promised: Etta Candy.

So. Listen. I know that Marston was a million years ago and the dude was basically a crackfic factory with a lot of weird and unproductive ideas about gender and BDSM but he is still the progressive and inspired genius who created Diana and if your Wonder Woman has nothing in common with his it is not a good Wonder Woman. And here is a major thing about Marston’s Wonder Woman: Etta Candy was her Robin.

Now admittedly this is something that was erased really thoroughly by ten minutes into the Silver Age and has remained basically abandoned ever since, largely in favor of making Steve way the fuck more central than he was ever meant to be, because it was and is ~just~ tolerable to have a female hero if you make her life entirely about romance, but God fucking forbid you let more than one woman be important to the story at once. So I can understand that most people aren’t really aware of it. But under Marston’s pen, Steve was not part of Diana’s inner circle. Etta was. Etta came to Paradise Island with Diana, Etta met Diana’s mother and participated in her culture, Etta helped Diana preserve her secret identity from Steve, Etta and her crowd of sorority hooligans were the ones Diana went to first thing when she needed help with a villain or to get someone to guard her comatose body while she astrally projected herself to another world. Etta was Diana’s sidekick. Steve was a major character, yes, and often helped to move the plot, but he was ultimately far less intimate with Diana than any of the women in her life; he was kept constantly in the dark, spent most of his time as an affable damsel in distress, and existed primarily to teach boys that a man looking up to and relying on a woman was totally manly and acceptable, not to be anything remotely approaching Diana’s equal or partner. To the extent that Marston’s Wonder Woman had a partner at all, that was Etta’s job.

And while the romance with Steve is a perpetual stone in my shoe in post-Marston adaptations of Wondy, the continual aggressive use of him as story-consuming male lead and central figure around whom Diana’s life revolves while Etta is lucky to even exist is really the part that’s just fucking rage-inducing. To imagine Steve as Diana’s closest Man’s World relationship and just shove Etta in a corner is to put Commissioner Gordon in tights and a cape alongside Batman and turn Dick Grayson into some random clerk at the police station who gets four lines and a first name only, and yet it happens all the goddamn time.

And you know, writers who understand Wonder Woman’s feminist center do try to ameliorate the fact that Etta got dropped off a cliff the minute Marston left the book. We do get other women (about one per new author in fact), plus Hippolyta when she’s not being crazy, and for a few nice decades there Steve just kind of fell off the same cliff as Etta, which isn’t great but is still better than making him more important than Diana’s family or the few female friends she occasionally manages to be allowed to have. And since those are the decades the film draws from most strongly, the fact that movie!Steve is the deuteragonist and Etta is a trivial tertiary character who barely interacts with Diana at all is all the more blatant a deviation and all the more blatantly wrong.

And she wasn’t even a bad Etta, really. She’s short and (Hollywood) fat and mostly cheerful - she lacks the proper joie de vivre in favor of a sort of upbeat snark, but she projects a very can-do roll-with-the-punches sort of attitude that I don’t think is a terrible translation - and she’s apparently extremely competent, to the point of casual field promotion to spy handler in a crisis. She’s the most visibly, verbally feminist character in the movie, actually (which is a painfully low bar to drag your feet grudgingly over but at least someone for one half second in this story about a historic feminist icon glancingly acknowledged that maybe women haven’t always been treated 100% fairly in non-Themysciran society). And despite having, as far as we know, absolutely zero combat training, she baldly stalls out a German spy with a sword she held for the first time all of five minutes prior, which is the most Etta fucking Candy thing I have seen since she was a nineteen-year-old in Beeta Lambda. (Note to whoever was responsible for the finished screenplay: that scene would be a perfect fit for a “humans have more worth than they at first appear” sort of flashback, just saying.)

But like. All the points they get for that? They toss about a third of them back when they make her an adjunct to Steve instead of to Diana who has no relationship with any other women onscreen and zero agency in the plot, and another third when they make her impatient with/snippy about Diana’s naiveté while Steve is of course patient and charmed. I mean at least she and Diana don’t get in a shitty little sexist catfight thing like in the DTV animated thing, but if that’s the highest standard we’re trying to beat, why even bother.

Grandeur- John Murphy Imagine (Splendour Part 2)

 Decided to take a brief break from ships to finish writing this one-shot so SURPRISE! Ahahaha anyway time to return to writing ships. Have a good day/night! Xxxx

P.S this one-shot might make zero sense but idk man it’s 1am and I’m so seriously sleep deprived so hey, let’s just ignore how terrible my writing is, yeah? thanks friends :)

Originally posted by john-murphys-trash-queen

John Murphy x Reader

Word Count: 923

Wanna read Part 1 of this one-shot, ‘Splendour’? You can find it here

It had been numerous weeks since I had accepted John Murphy into Polis, and we had certainly grown closer. Long gone were the feelings of mistrust; all that I held for the boy was respect. I had taken a liking to him, though to what extent, I was unaware of; or rather, a topic I did not wish to address. We often stayed up late talking, laughing and enjoying the cool night air in each other’s company.

The air was warm, and as a treat, had decided to visit the market located in the centre of Polis. Of course, I had chosen to bring along Murphy with me, now one of my closest companions. Noticing he had strayed from the group that accompanied me, I looked around for him, my eyes falling on his figure talking to a girl at a kebab stand. The scene looked innocent enough, though their conversation looked to be far more serious than the food she was serving, judging by his suspicious looks and her pleading gaze. I was ready to tear my eyes away, when he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek lightly. Though the gesture was small, it caused my heart to snap in two, instantly crestfallen.

Of course, I thought bitterly. Of course there’s someone else.

My mental rambling was interrupted by one of my guards, who asked me if I was alright. Solemnly, I nodded, ordering them to escort me back to my chambers, leaving John to himself in the market square.

Keep reading

Actual lines from Star Wars: The Force Awakens, part BB-8
  • *An average day outside Maz Kanata's tavern. Rey and Finn are walking by a babbling brook. Yes, there totally was a babbling brook*
  • Finn (romance novel-like): Rey, I have something really important I want to ask you. First off, I want to look really beautiful today. The way the light catches your eyes, I just want to stare into them for the rest of my life.
  • Rey (in her head): Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god...he's finally doing this. I don't know how I feel about this.
  • Finn: I can't deny what I feel for you. You're my forever girl and I want to ask you-
  • *Suddenly, Kylo Ren drops from the sky. He removes his helmet and flips his hair sexily. Rey and Finn both blush*
  • Kylo (tortured soul mode activated): Hey babe...we've only just met but to me, you're the real chosen one. You bring balance to my life because I love you. You bring me to life and you taste like Vader, only sweeter! I want to be with you to the point that I'm willing to brave the coldness of the long as you're the light at the end of the tunnel.
  • Rey (in her head): Oh...okay. I didn't know that about him but for some reason, I'd be totally okay with that. Man, what's happening right now? Is this 'confess your love to Rey day'? Who's next-
  • *Poe Dameron flies in on his X-Wing and jumps out, blaster at hand*
  • Poe: HEY. Get away from Rey, I'm her one true love!
  • Finn: What are you talking about? You didn't even share a single scene with her!
  • Poe: The absence of a scene does not mean the scene did not occur! Rey, you remember that time I confessed my love to you before taking on a rancor, an army of jawas, and a Sith lord that was sent to kill you, right?
  • Rey: Um...I think...I think I gotta go. Yeah, this has been great and all but-
  • *At this point, a whole bunch of characters start showing up as Rey looks more and more confused*
  • Jessika: Hey, me. Ladies night. Then maybe we can go back to my place and test out my whips. (winks)
  • Statura: Only an admiral can show you a good time, not like these clowns! You like ships? I got a whole fleet! (starts tossing out credits, making it rain)
  • Chewbacca: *sexy roar*
  • BB-8 (in droid speak): I'm just a bachelor! I'm looking for a partner! Someone who knows how to ride! Without even falling off!
  • Luke: Well, we don't know if you're my daughter yet so...
  • Captain Phasma: *flexes muscles while still in chrome suit*
  • TR-8R: I'M A TREYTOR BECAUSE I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU! JUST FOR YOU, I WILL ALSO DESERT THE FIRST ORDER! (performs an elaborate mating dance routine with his spinning baton thing)
  • /
  • /
  • /
  • *as everyone argues, Rey flees*
  • Narrator: And at that point, Rey realized that this was one star war that she wanted no part of. No other war was as deadly as a shipping war. That's why this chapter's called, 'Rey Doesn't Need a Lover'-
  • Rey (breaking the fourth wall): Damn it, Quentin Tarantino, go back to the Hateful Eight!
  • --------------------------------------------------------------
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