bring lemons

Today I was rehearsing with the guitarist from the show I’m doing and I was coughing up a lung bc I’m sick and I was just kidding but I told him he needed to bring me a lemon for me to slice up and put in a cup of tea and so I show up to the show tonight to get ready and he sets down a big ass lemon on my dressing room table and then brings out like 5 boxes of Halloween Oreos and for those of you who pay attention to my posts you know what a big fucking deal that is and so long story short I now have a lemon and more Oreos than I know what to do with

OK SO DO YOU GUYS WANNA TALK ABOUT THE TIME KEITH RICHARDS WAS TELLING JIMMY FALLON ABOUT HOW WHEN HE’S NOT ON TOUR, HE LIKES TO TEND TO HIS LEMON TREE? APPARENTLY KEITH IS SO PROUD ABOUT HIS LEMONS THAT HE KEPT TELLING JIMMY ABOUT HOW THEY GROW TO BE THE SIZE OF GRAPEFRUITS. SO OF COURSE, THEY SEE EACH OTHER ABOUT A MONTH LATER AT A PARTY AND KEITH BRINGS JIMMY AN AUTOGRAPHED LEMON, SO JIMMY PROCEEDS TO HAVE THE LEMON MADE INTO SOME KIND OF LEMON PRESERVE AND GIVES IT TO KEITH WITH THE AUTOGRAPH ON IT STILL AND EVERYTHING. BUT WAIT,,,,, IT GETS BETTER!!! JIMMY SAVED A SEED FROM KEITH’S LEMON AND PLANTED IT SO JIMMY FALLON NOW HAS THE SECOND GENERATION OF KEITH HECKING RICHARDS’ LEMON TREE AND IF THAT ISN’T GREAT THEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS.

Vanilla ice cream cone from L’Artisan des Glaces located in Epcot’s France Pavilion.

flickr

Keeping it Warm by Jason Ogden
Via Flickr:
Living in the Pacific Northwest requires us to bring in our lemon tree every winter to protect it from the cold…but this might be going a little too far.

i know it’s kind of dumb but my favorite cliché is when the bad guys show up and someone says “we’ve got company!” because the point is that it’s a massive understatement like ??? i love the idea of someone that genuinely has never heard that phrase before and upon hearing it for the first time thinks “oh, what a delight! i’ll bring out the lemon squares!” like no, dave they’re not here to mingle over tea they want to kill us very badly and have a lot of guns please take shelter you silly man

Lemons on the new.

KNOCKOUT (open rp)

“Ow…Ow…Fuck…Ow…Shit…” 

Jewel mumbled to herself as she limped through the empty arena. She knew she should have left with Gordon. But noooo, she wanted to stay and practice. She didn’t expect some of the racers to be waiting outside her dressing room with lemon juice. Some of the rougher competitors liked to bring lemon juice to races so that the could squirt it into her eyes, preferably her third one. And boy was it burning. They may or may not had dislocated a few places too. She thought to herself that she could set them back into place later.

Jewel looked up and saw a figure in the distance. Hoping it was a friend, she limped towards them, waving nonchalantly. “H-Hi there!”

On Friday I bring his lemon cookies and wear his jersey number on my cheek, which delights Peter. He grabs me and throws me in the air, and his smile is so big. It makes me feel guilty for not doing it sooner, because it took so little effort on my part to make him happy. I can see now that it’s the little things, the small efforts, that keep a relationship going. And I know now too that in some small measure I have the power to hurt him and also the power to make it better. This discovery leaves me with an unsettling, queer sort of feeling in my chest for reasons I can’t explain.
—  P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Han
When life gives you lemons |Part 3|
  • When life gives you lemons: throw them at Sara Harvey
  • Hanna: eats the lemons
  • Aria: turn the lemons into earrings
  • Spence: put drugs in the lemons
  • Emily: slaps the lemons
  • Alison: makes lemonade soup for Lorenzo
  • Caleb: hacks the lemons
  • Toby: decides to open a lemonade farm
  • Ezra: brings the lemons to Thailand
  • The moms: Ignores the lemons and drinks a more wine
  • Mona: dress up the lemons to look like Alison
  • Ezria: makes key lime pie
  • Jenna: I still don't see the lemons
  • Sara: to busy taking showers
  • Paige: moves to Los Angeles with the lemons
  • Tanner: accuses the lemons for murder
  • Cece: but did the lemons die?