bring back the fanny

Things I’ve Actually Said on Skype Sentence Starters 2
  • I’m still being bombarded with love and it’s confusing me.
  • I’M HALF CANADIAN DON’T ASK ME SUCH THINGS.
  • I remember shit, but not enough shit?
  • It’s 2:37 in the morning, forgive me.
  • Eyebrow game on fleek. Like. He could fuck with his eyebrows.
  • Gayday so on point; I know who’s gay before they know they know they’re gay.
  • I have over a thousand pics on my phone, and it’s ninety percent gay.
  • They got addicted to sucking pacifiers.
  • I hide the bong I smoke from on the bookshelf, obviously. 
  • I don’t think grandmama will care.
  • She looks great covered in blood, like? How the hell?
  • Your love is being denied until further notice.
  • I DON’T HAVE A FOLDER OF LESBIAN GIFS, NOPE.
  • My mom called me, but she’s not wrong. I nap all the time and complain about my hip.
  • Oh my fucking stars, I will strangle you all.
  • Am I ungrounded yet or do I need to start working out shirtless?
  • I don’t know what possessed me, but I was writing an essay for Civics one time, and we had to do it on a president and I just titled it “Valley George.”
  • I’d tear someone apart by the asshole if they touched a hair on my brother/sister’s head.
  • At least I went out with the fucking hotties.
  • I’d a fuck a guy for Italian food and I’m a lesbian.
  • I just sat in a god-damn freezer for five minutes and I’m still hot. Help.
  • My mom never gave me the talk. She handed me a book and looked me dead in the eye, and just said, “They’re married, so it’s okay.”
  • She took away my stuffed pikachu man, it was cruel.
  • The worst time to be a lil’ bitch about something is when I’m on my period. I become a ruthless monster, spawned by the devil himself to drag dunces to hell.
  • We should bring fanny packs back, they’re so useful. 
  • We’re bringing fanny pack.
  • Someone drew cult symbols all over a board and someone wrote how ‘CULT'ivating next to it.
  • Don’t skip leg day kids. Don’t have chicken legs, have horse legs.
  • I don’t want to be arrested for murder, or manslaughter, or obstruction of evidence and assault.
  • Am I allowed to marry video game characters?
  • Why isn’t selective aseuality a thing? Like I don’t wanna have sex with anyone, but there are just some people where I’m like, “Take me now.”
  • I’m two episodes in, i’ve cried, and I’m extremely invested.
  • Yes, we like to call it, “Deprived of mental stability and possibly oxygen.”
  • Let’s make this bitch brave.
  • C’mon tittio we gotta make these homeless fucks better.
  • Obviously, sir bitch, we use them as pillows.
  • I actually said that to a guy one time, he was mortified and actually believed me.