(Creds to @t-a-e-g-i for this amazing idea and for letting me bring it to life!)
Suga: Hello listeners, you are on with me, DJ Agust D on Korea’s very own hot96FM. I’ll be answering the phone lines now, so feel free to give me all your requests.
Listener 1 : Hello? Agust D? Hi I’m calling because I cheated on my girlfriend and now she won’t talk to me anymore. I really love her and want her back so can you please play a song that will let her know just how I feel?
Suga: *puts on Hate by 4Minute*
Listener 1: B-but—
Suga: *hangs up* Alright moving on to the next caller.
Taehyung: Hello? This isn’t Taehyung. Can you please play Cypher pt 3? It’s my favorite song, I’m not Taehyung by the way.
Suga: We have caller ID
Taehyung: Oh….um well the–
Suga: *hangs up* Next Caller!
Listener 2: Hi Agust D, I’m feeling really down my boyfriend says that he doesn’t want to marry me because I don’t have any ambitions or goals for my life. I think it shouldn’t be a problem that I want him to take care of me. Can you play something that will speak to me?
Suga: Sure I’ll play a song by Winner
Listener 2: That’s good! I need to know I’m a winner and that my boyfriend was just being a hat–
Suga: *plays Winner’s cover of “Loser” by BigBang*
Listener 2: B-but–
Suga: *hangs up*
Suga: Alright listeners now we’re going to kick it old school by playing one of my favorite songs that was written by a musical genius.
“jammed into dishes and cups and what have you” !!!!!!!! the relics are one thing??? one thing split many ways— one person, split many ways????
theres something almost… tragic about the destruction of the previous four then. if they weren’t just objects. also the objects themselves have never been presented as evil, just powerful, which is bad in the wrong hands (which is everyone’s hands), but not… inherently worth destruction. if the relics are living thats… a whole set of revelations and morality
ok, but you gotta appreciate how brilliant and terrifying min yoongi is. after many a year he finally came up with a way to express his undying admiration for j-bae as much as he wants while doing it right in your face and also making it look like a joke.
Oh, look, Barça ladies humiliated our men in their own stadium.
The black cat jokes were funny but let’s not forget the club let them live in Camp Nou and club facilities so it’s all good (they didn’t bring us any bad luck in 2008, did they?)
I know I complain about CB Masche but did you see him while chasing the cat? A tRuE dEfEnDeR1!1!1
Messi started so good should I get excited?
But this is why I don’t like winger, false 9 and CF Rafa. He is not a goal scorer, he is more useful in midfield. In first 15 mins, he wasted 3-4 chances and one of them was because he couldn’t decide when to shot.
I don’t want CB Masche, he doesn’t like it, we don’t like it but damn, did you see his tackle in first 15 mins? Brilliant.
Munir’s league debut by the way. What a talent, he promoted to Barça B this summer!
Munir off the crossbar in 20th (or something like that) minute, what a shot! Did I mention how talented he is? If we can manage his development (protect him from Eusebio) then he will be something special.for sure
Rakitic plays deep, did Lucho want more defensive play?
Beautiful from Messi and Iniesta! Their tight space passing is just orgasmic! Someone please gif all of these because I am lazy
Messi is so determined. Asking again, should I get excited?
Mathieu’s tackle was perfect, he will keep roving that age is just a number as long as you stay fit.
Wait, why are we keep hitting the bar?! I start to believe that cat did something to our players.
Great set piece there tho (the one Alves missed). Oh, how things changed!
Are Elche playing with 6 defenders or..?
LEO GOOOO- wtf Masche?! (this is how you all reacted, right?)
If you feel bad about Masche’s red card, just look at wet haired Ivan Rakitic. Heaven.
By the way, Rafinha needs to go back to midfield in the second half.
MUNIR!!! Did I mention how talented he is?
Munir is the 3rd youngest player to score for Barcelona in La Liga at the Camp Nou (after Bojan and Messi). I hope his future will be like Messi’s, not Bojan’s (we still love you Kiki)
Btw, did anyone see Bravo on the pitch tonigh? Let's recommend him our favorite apps so he won’t get bored.
Messi and Iniesta are so good together, can we keep them forever?
One of the most important things about La Masia is, you need to grow up fast. If you are good enough, you will play, end of story. Age doesn’t matter.
Messi is pressing again and that great tackle! Oh the good old days. Asking one more time, should I get excited?
Okay I am definetely getting exciting and it’s not even about the season. We are playing good, Messi looks good, new guys (especially Ivan and Mathieu) are great, above all they all look so happy, fans are passionate and chanting! Please, it must be a beautiful season!
Wait.. are we playing with 10 men? Oh… didn’t even notice.
Standing ovation for Munir. Remember when we gave a standing ovation to another 18 year old.. Messi. Okay, shut up Mel
Remember the article I posted 1-2 weeks ago. Messi only wants to make fans happy, if he can’t he will leave. I think we can put it off for a while what do you think? (did those fans read the article as well?)
Board, see, this is what a rested and healthy Messi can do. Think about it before firing our fitness coach again or forcing unfit players to play stupid games.
Messi-Alves connection tho. Knowing that it’s coming to an end makes me sooo sad.
Standing ovation for Iniesta? Can this night get any better?
Told you it’s our cat. Bad luck? For Elche!
Btw, Lucho’s first games always went wrong until this season. Is this a good sign?
Messi tracking back, scoring goals, playing in midfield, creating chances. This is what I was asking for! Finally a coach who understands me. God bless Lucho tbh (even tho I still doubt him).
Friendly reminder that we are playing with 10 men.
Fans are chanting “Luis Enrique”, I am so emotional. Now, welcome back to home, Lucho!
Ivan is an amazing player. I can forgive Zubi just because this signing.
It’s good to see Munir feels more comfortable with the first team now. Even Eusebio said he will hang out with big guys. It’s good, because now Pedro and Neymar have watch their back and stay awake.
Mathieu keeps telling his haters (lmao) to suck his dick. Age DOES NOT matter.
Anyway, don’t forget it’s not how you start but it’s how you finish. Please, keep playing like this Barça.
Mil vuit cents noranta nou, neix el club que porto al cor, blaugrana són els colors.. FUTBOL CLUB BARCELONA!