I need to scream about Brigitta MacBridge, and her wasted potential.
Brigitta is one of the most frustrating characters that I have ever encountered, because she suffers the worst kind of Elle Woods syndrome that has ever existed. Not only does her intelligence drop in the presence of Scrooge, but so does her morality. She turns from fun and sympathetic to a creep, and I hate it. I hate it, because I have seen what a fun character she can be, and am then slapped in the face with sexual harassment as a punch line.
There are two types of Brigitta stories, and I love the other and hate the other.
Brigitta storyline number 1:
Brigitta and her friend Jubal come up with some creative new business idea, they start small and soon gain popularity fast. they became the biggest thing in Duckburg, Scrooge might make a fast cameo as a businessman interested in investing, shenanigans happen and their business crashes and burns because of some flaw in their idea that they had originally overlooked. At the end of the story we have returned back to the status quo, but everyone had fun and it is easy to see yourself in the shoes of Brigitta, who takes very Donald-like role in the narrative.
Brigitta storyline number 2: stalking, the guidebook.
We usually start with Brigitta making romantic overtures in Scrooge’s direction, Scrooge rejecting her, and then Brigitta is seen outside the money bin shaking her fist and monologuing about the friend-zone. Then she either decides to forget all about Scrooge, (This never works out for long) or hatches some needlessly complicated plan to get him alone and cornered with her. Shenanigans happen and Scrooge finds out that for some reason or another he needs Brigitta’s help. He decides to be a dick about the whole thing. Brigitta is offended, Scrooge is desperate, the entire Duck family makes an appearance, and inexplicably all take Brigitta’s side on the issue. Finally the circumstances force Scrooge to make a deal with Brigitta, which pretty much always includes Scrooge having to spent time with Brigitta in romantic settings. The Duck family makes a comeback in the end, all concluding that justice has been served, and serves their miserly uncle right that he is now punished for the crime of not opening his legs heart to Brigitta. And yes, Brigitta’s romantic plans for Scrooge in the end of the story are presented as a poetic justice for unwilling Scrooge. Yeah, it’s pretty fucked up.
And no, the latter storyline is not just a product of the sixties. I am punished with that exact narrative even on magazines from this year. Please, god, just let it die!
And there is no reason that Brigitta couldn’t be fun addition to the Duckburg gang even without her weird obsession with banging marrying Scrooge. We have already proven that she is strong enough personality alone that she is fun in her own stories. There is no reason she couldn’t be a friend to the Duck family, without being a blood-relative, and keep interacting with them. And most important of all, there is no reason that she can’t have a fun relationship with Scrooge without it involving weird sexual undertones. Brigitta is already interested in business, just make her look up to Scrooge more as a mentor and a friend, and you can keep the dynamic still fun and interesting. She can still bother Scrooge, just as a younger, over-enthusiastic, friend and an occasional business rival.
And yes, you could even keep Brigitta’s love-life in focus. Make her go on disastrous dates. Make her yearn for the love of her life. Make her go through hilarious shenanigans in order to land a date. Just, let them be with different men. And not with Scrooge. Make Scrooge the grumpy, slightly unwilling, best friend/wingman in the romantic comedy that is Brigitta’s life. I would actually pay money to see that dynamic playing out. It would be hilarious.
Just… Look I’m angry and frustrated, and need to scream about how we are never going to have the Scrooge/Brigitta bromance we all so clearly deserve, because for some reason duck comics are stuck in a weird “haha marriage is the worst thing that can happen to a man, which is why they are all trying to avoid it” joke.
Holy hell, okay, this is not a drill. Goldie O’Gilt is making an appearance in a comic, and it’s not a cameo.
So, my drug dealer got me hooked with some
2017 Topolino, and I need to scream about it, because Goldie!
That’s right, she is back, and looks absolutely
So, this is an Italian comic, and therefore
it can be expected that the tragic romance™, that is more popular in the post-Rosa duck
comic tradition, has been toned down a lot. Now full disclosure, I’m shipper
trash and am fully committed to the tragic
romance™. I wrote a 50 000+ words fanfic about it. I am also known
sufferer of Brigitta MacBridge nonsense, so while this rant might be biased, I
try to be biased in a gentle way. It’s not your fault Brigitta, that you have
been written that way. Or that Scrooge and Goldie are soulmates. Ahem.
But to the comic itself. There are lots of
things I love about it, and then there are some things that make me side-eye it
in vaguely disapproving manner. I swear, not all of those reasons are shipping
reasons. Okay yeah they pretty much are.
follow me to the kitchen, you can throw a coffeepot on my face, and we can
roleplay our night together in White Agony Creek anew!)
The premise of the story is pretty much,
what if Goldie and Brigitta properly met? It’s…not a lot. There is no plot
beyond: what if Goldie and Brigitta had a girls’ day out. Which I guess is
fine, because that is all it is supposed to be. It is a slice of life character
study. Usually I’m all about those, but…well Goldie doesn’t really shine when
you don’t give her anything to do. In Rosa/Barks stories (which are the only
stories where we see Goldie as a character) the focus has never been solely on
anyone’s feelings. They have been very action-packed stories with any hinted
romance taking a firm backseat.
What I’m trying to say is, that I’m
disappointed that Goldie didn’t get to join in any of those silly Italian
adventures. Not even little bit of shenanigans. Aww, and it could have been so