If Jamie and Claire (and Wee Ian) could text: Jamie throws out his back in Drums of Autumn and they get it on in the lean-to Edition because why not (BOOK SPOILERS)
  • Claire: Jamie you've been out in the snow for far too long
  • Claire: are you alright?
  • Claire: Jamie?
  • Claire: Jamie Brigitta Fraser respond to me right this minute
  • >>Wee Ian Murray was added to the chat<<
  • Claire: Ian have you heard from you uncle??
  • Claire: he went out hunting and he's not responding to my demeaning jibes
  • Ian: omg!
  • Ian: are ye sure he's not just sleeping on the hunt and ignoring the texts?
  • Claire: god I hope so but you give it a go
  • Ian: Hey, Uncle, I bedded five different Tuscarora lassies at once last night, and they had me Tuscaroarin'
  • Claire: ohgoodlordIan
  • {{{crickets}}}
  • Ian: oh aye he's definitely not seeing these texts
  • Ian: I'm a half day away but I'll head your way now
  • Claire: I'm heading out into the snow to find him
  • Ian: be safe auntie
  • Ian: dress warmly
  • {{{two hours}}}
  • Claire: Jamie I found your trail but it went cold
  • Claire: PLEASE text me
  • Ian: borrowed a horse, will be there asap
  • Claire: of Course Jamie picks a bloody blizzard to disappear in
  • {{{one hour}}}
  • Claire: I will never forgive you if you got eaten by a wildcat or
  • Jamie: I'm alive
  • Claire: OH THANK GOD
  • Ian: WHEW
  • Ian: what happened??
  • Claire: WHERE ARE YOU??
  • Jamie: Threw out my back
  • Jamie: cannnamove
  • Claire: WHERE??
  • Jamie: those your thundering footsteps I hear
  • Tramping about?
  • Jamie: go down the hill and
  • To the left, my sun and stars
  • Jamie: halpthishurtssobad
  • {{{twenty minutes}}}
  • Claire: found him Ian
  • Claire: made a quick lean to
  • Claire: we're going to wait out the storm a bit
  • >>pings location on google maps <<
  • Claire: come find us and bring the horse as soon as you can
  • Ian: okay still three hours out
  • Ian: two hours out
  • Ian: one hour out
  • Ian: 30 mins
  • Ian: you guys okay?
  • Ian: why aren't you responding ?
  • Ian: okay I think I'm here
  • Ian: oh yeah I see the lean to at the bottom of this cliff
  • Ian: wait are you...
  • Ian: 😱
  • Ian: 😏 oh y'all NASTY
  • Ian: but also adorable
  • Ian: ❄️🎶baby it's collddddddd outttttsiiiiiiiiide🎶❄️
  • Ian: also not to be creepy but you guys have some moves
  • Ian: jaysus
  • Ian: I'm averting my eyes I swear
  • Ian: buuuuuuut first imma help set this #Mood a little better
  • >>incoming files:
  • Like_a_virgin.mp3
  • Missy_elliot_work it.mp3
  • boyz2men_ill_make_love_to_you.mp3
  • Ian: okay I've given you quite a range there
  • Ian: maybe run through all three and see how it goes
  • Ian: you guys do your thang
  • Ian: I'll just
  • Ian: oh wait
  • Ian: sounds like you're finishing up now
  • Ian: you didna get to use the playlist 😔
  • Ian: save for next time aye?
  • Ian: okay I'm guessing you'll be checking your phones in 3...2..:
  • Ian: well yeah that's the whole point!!
  • Ian: was just tryna be supportive!
  • Jamie: oh and that five lassies joke wasna AT ALL funny
  • Ian: oh aye. DEFINITELY was A joke.
  • Ian: ha
  • Jamie: Christyourmotherwilleviscerateme
  • Ian: so are we all finished or should I go take a lap?
  • Ian: dinna want the playlist to go to waste
I need to scream about Brigitta MacBridge, and her wasted potential.

Brigitta is one of the most frustrating characters that I have ever encountered, because she suffers the worst kind of Elle Woods syndrome that has ever existed. Not only does her intelligence drop in the presence of Scrooge, but so does her morality. She turns from fun and sympathetic to a creep, and I hate it. I hate it, because I have seen what a fun character she can be, and am then slapped in the face with sexual harassment as a punch line.

There are two types of Brigitta stories, and I love the other and hate the other.

Brigitta storyline number 1:

Brigitta and her friend Jubal come up with some creative new business idea, they start small and soon gain popularity fast. they became the biggest thing in Duckburg, Scrooge might make a fast cameo as a businessman interested in investing, shenanigans happen and their business crashes and burns because of some flaw in their idea that they had originally overlooked. At the end of the story we have returned back to the status quo, but everyone had fun and it is easy to see yourself in the shoes of Brigitta, who takes very Donald-like role in the narrative.

Brigitta storyline number 2: stalking, the guidebook. 

We usually start with Brigitta making romantic overtures in Scrooge’s direction, Scrooge rejecting her, and then Brigitta is seen outside the money bin shaking her fist and monologuing about the friend-zone. Then she either decides to forget all about Scrooge, (This never works out for long) or hatches some needlessly complicated plan to get him alone and cornered with her. Shenanigans happen and Scrooge finds out that for some reason or another he needs Brigitta’s help. He decides to be a dick about the whole thing. Brigitta is offended, Scrooge is desperate, the entire Duck family makes an appearance, and inexplicably all take Brigitta’s side on the issue. Finally the circumstances force Scrooge to make a deal with Brigitta, which pretty much always includes Scrooge having to spent time with Brigitta in romantic settings. The Duck family makes a comeback in the end, all concluding that justice has been served, and serves their miserly uncle right that he is now punished for the crime of not opening his legs heart to Brigitta. And yes, Brigitta’s romantic plans for Scrooge in the end of the story are presented as a poetic justice for unwilling Scrooge. Yeah, it’s pretty fucked up.

And no, the latter storyline is not just a product of the sixties. I am punished with that exact narrative even on magazines from this year. Please, god, just let it die! 

And there is no reason that Brigitta couldn’t be fun addition to the Duckburg gang even without her weird obsession with banging marrying Scrooge. We have already proven that she is strong enough personality alone that she is fun in her own stories. There is no reason she couldn’t be a friend to the Duck family, without being a blood-relative, and keep interacting with them. And most important of all, there is no reason that she can’t have a fun relationship with Scrooge without it involving weird sexual undertones. Brigitta is already interested in business, just make her look up to Scrooge more as a mentor and a friend, and you can keep the dynamic still fun and interesting. She can still bother Scrooge, just as a younger, over-enthusiastic, friend and an occasional business rival.   

And yes, you could even keep Brigitta’s love-life in focus. Make her go on disastrous dates. Make her yearn for the love of her life. Make her go through hilarious shenanigans in order to land a date. Just, let them be with different men. And not with Scrooge. Make Scrooge the grumpy, slightly unwilling, best friend/wingman in the romantic comedy that is Brigitta’s life. I would actually pay money to see that dynamic playing out. It would be hilarious.  

Just… Look I’m angry and frustrated, and need to scream about how we are never going to have the Scrooge/Brigitta bromance we all so clearly deserve, because for some reason duck comics are stuck in a weird “haha marriage is the worst thing that can happen to a man, which is why they are all trying to avoid it” joke.   


Az Öcsivel tíz éve van egy tök szuper és nagyon összetett játékunk: mindig ilyen fiktív hülye neveket mondva kell egymásnak felvenni a telefont, és utána meg röhögünk.

- Halló, tessék, Szutykondi Ottília. (röhögés)
- Tessék, Bazgovány Kálmán! (röhögés)
- Igentessék, Toszicska Brigitta. (röhögés)
- Hallótessék, Tömötykei Géza. (röhögés)
- Igen, Futyelák Csilla. (röhögés)
- Halló, Csocsánszki Tivadar. (röhögés)

Hát aztán történt, hogy munkahelyet váltottam, és a céges telefonomat megkapta az új lány, a Szotyella Edit, az öcsém meg persze nem mentette el az új számomat, a régin viszont hívott:

- Halló, Szotyella Edit.
- Áhááháááháá, MICCCSODA BAZMEG SZOTYELLA??? Jááááj a taknyom is kijött a röhögéstől, az istenbasszonmeg, te kis Büdös Piroska!  ❤️️ ❤️️ ❤️️

Holy hell, okay, this is not a drill. Goldie O’Gilt is making an appearance in a comic, and it’s not a cameo.

So, my drug dealer got me hooked with some 2017 Topolino, and I need to scream about it, because Goldie!

That’s right, she is back, and looks absolutely stunning.

So, this is an Italian comic, and therefore it can be expected that the tragic romance™, that is more popular in the post-Rosa duck comic tradition, has been toned down a lot. Now full disclosure, I’m shipper trash and am fully committed to the tragic romance™. I wrote a 50 000+ words fanfic about it. I am also known sufferer of Brigitta MacBridge nonsense, so while this rant might be biased, I try to be biased in a gentle way. It’s not your fault Brigitta, that you have been written that way. Or that Scrooge and Goldie are soulmates. Ahem.

But to the comic itself. There are lots of things I love about it, and then there are some things that make me side-eye it in vaguely disapproving manner. I swear, not all of those reasons are shipping reasons. Okay yeah they pretty much are.

(Quick, follow me to the kitchen, you can throw a coffeepot on my face, and we can roleplay our night together in White Agony Creek anew!)

The premise of the story is pretty much, what if Goldie and Brigitta properly met? It’s…not a lot. There is no plot beyond: what if Goldie and Brigitta had a girls’ day out. Which I guess is fine, because that is all it is supposed to be. It is a slice of life character study. Usually I’m all about those, but…well Goldie doesn’t really shine when you don’t give her anything to do. In Rosa/Barks stories (which are the only stories where we see Goldie as a character) the focus has never been solely on anyone’s feelings. They have been very action-packed stories with any hinted romance taking a firm backseat.  

What I’m trying to say is, that I’m disappointed that Goldie didn’t get to join in any of those silly Italian adventures. Not even little bit of shenanigans. Aww, and it could have been so fun too.  

Keep reading