bright-and-bold

Drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra.

The thing that is getting to me the most about news of Carrie Fisher’s autopsy report is not the results themselves, but the way the media is handling it. Like it’s a Gotcha moment—like somehow we were tricked into thinking she was a better person than she actually was.

And that is profoundly bullshit.

Carrie was open about being an addict. Her opening line from her iconic stand up show (and book by the same name) “Wishful Drinking” was quite literally, “Hi, I’m Carrie Fisher, and I’m an alcoholic.”

She talked at length and in often brutal depth about her problems with substance abuse, her compulsive self destructive tendencies, and her dependencies to both illegal and prescription drugs. She wrote about it in her books, she talked about it on talk shows. She made an entire comedic stand up performance out of it, detailing the lengths she went to in order to try and regain some semblance of safety and normalcy in her life. 

She was brutally honest that every single day was a struggle for sanity after years and years of attempting to self medicate a mental illness that for most of her life was mistaken for feckless lack of self control. 

You know how they way “Religion is the opiate of the masses?” Well I took masses of opiates religiously! -Wishful Drinking

She was bright, and beautiful and bold about it. And she didn’t have to be.

Carrie Fisher didn’t have to stand there and take the shitstorm of criticism people launched at her for decades, let alone turn it into humor. She didn’t. She didn’t owe anyone outwith her immediate family an explanation for her erratic behavior over the years, nor the flack she caught for it. (Think of all the male actors in Hollywood who are in and out of rehab centers so quickly they could harness the revolving doors as a wind turbine. Then tell me the media press about her life and now her death are fair.)

But she did it anyway, because she knew it was important. And she took those bright lights of Hollywood shining down on her like a ruthless, malevolent child holding a magnifying glass under the sun—and she turned that merciless heat and pointed it at things that mattered, often at the expense of herself, opening herself up to ridicule and the severe cruelty of others who lambasted her for everything, ranging from her weight, her mental illness or her audacity to simply grow old.

Is it tragic that her addiction likely cost her her life? Yes, of course it is. Does it invalidate any of her achievements? The strength and vibrancy with which she lived her life and touched the lives of millions around her for the better? 

“I call people sometimes hoping not only that they’ll verify the fact that I’m alive but that they’ll also, however indirectly, convince me that being alive is an appropriate state for me to be in. Because sometimes I don’t think it’s such a bright idea. Is it worth the trouble it takes trying to live life so that someday you get something worthwhile out of it, instead of it almost always taking worthwhile things out of you?” 

-The Princess Diarist

Carrie Fisher mattered, her voice mattered. The things that she said and did, mattered. They still matter. And they are no less true and poignant in the light of these revelations.

Addiction is a disease. It’s a dysfunction of the brain’s reward system which requires constant management and care and often goes hand in hand with other mental health disorders. It is not simply a question of willpower or the perceived lack thereof. And while sobriety is to be praised and encouraged—of course it is, of course it absolutely unquestionably is—you cannot possibly know what may cause a person to slip or to feel like they can’t cope without that crutch. And shame on anyone who says it was therefore deserved. 

Shame and my heartfelt wishes that you never go through the things that can lead to serious addiction. Or that you are ever abandoned, derided and regarded as less than human because of it and your death turned into a smear campaign against your memory for the sake of a sensationalist headline.

Yes. Carrie Fisher was an addict, she had drug dependency problems related to her mental health. There was a time she kept it hidden, but after she made the decision to come out about it, she stuck by that decision and became a champion, for herself and everyone like her who struggles. Because she never wanted anyone to suffer like she did in order to get help. And she did it with as much grace and humility as she could manage—and a whole lot more indignity, immodesty, crass humor and love as well. Because that’s who she was and she cared. 

And that’s a hell of a lot more than can be said for those crowing over her death like it’s just deserts.

Fuck you.

People do not exist to stand up to your demands of a perfect ideal of humanity. You do not get to place that burden on the shoulders of someone then tear them apart when they fall under that weight—famous or otherwise.

Fuck you and your whole pretense at moral piety and the horse you rode in on.

Carrie Fisher was not your unproblematic fave. She was in fact extremely problematic, and no one knew that better than she did. 

“I heard someone say once that many of us only seem able to find heaven by backing away from hell. And while the place that I’ve arrived at in my life may not precisely be everyone’s idea of heaven, I could swear sometimes—if I’m quiet enough—I can hear the angels sing. Either that or I fucked up my medication again.” 

-Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking.

Instagram: loganmartintran

before he sells the beans to jack, he is born in a house that smells of ceder.

his name is Tiffany. a bold bright name. a stardust name. a girl name. but he is not a girl. he knows this, even if others don’t. his mother puts him in dresses, teaches him how to sew, chastises him when he lets his voice get low.

“my great-aunt’s friend’s sister,” says his mother, with her red lips tight, “once knew these girls that spoke and diamonds came out of their mouths. you know what happened to the nasty one? she got toads. that’s your future if you don’t figure out how to be a nice little girl.”

so he speaks gently. but the whole time he is wondering: who gave them the language of gems. who gave them the language that rolled out of them. it must be magic. and if there is magic, maybe there is hope for him.

he takes off in a dark night. a sad night. one where the fire was too low and he was sick of mirrors. he leaves his mother a note: gone to find where the gems grow. 

in the black woods, he cuts off his hair. wears his father’s clothes. feels, at last, whole. runs and runs and runs until his air comes out in a wheeze. walks for weeks and weeks.

he finds the old woman carrying water. she is ugly, her mouth all twisted angry. but she carries the water alone. 

the boy does not have much. but he has shoulders. a good back. hands that work. when he takes her burden, she says, “thank you, young man.” and he smiles at her, but doesn’t say anything.

her house is damp. she feeds him stew, apologizes. says she used to make lovely foods but the price of milk and eggs got far too high. she says: if you carry my water for five weeks, i will give you something special. and he agrees.

she talks for him. spends a lot of time telling him of people he never met. girls with lips blood red. girls with white fairy dresses. boys who fell in love with swans. 

the boy says little. just nods. sleeps on the floor of her empty barn. when she’s not looking, he darns her clothes for her, keeps the floors swept, fills the lanterns with oil, makes her a blanket for the coming winter. 

on the end of the fifth week, she gives him the beans. tells him that they have been passed down in her family, that this was her portion. she says that she is too old now for such adventures. that she hears the beans will bring treasure. fortune. all the things of greed. she says: i will give them to you, for what you have done to me.

in the morning, he takes off. he feels the weight of them in his pocket. he thinks of the old woman and the stories and the sight of her tired hands. he stands in the market for a long time, unspeaking, simply staring at the cobblestones beneath him.

jack’s voice is the last call in the evening. a beautiful cow, young and thick and healthy. 

the boy has no money. he bounces the magic bean in his pocket, and thinks of treasures. 

“wait,” he says. 

jack turns. 

transaction complete: one cow for a handful of magic beans. the boy walks the cow home to the old woman, gets there in the morning. they are both very tired. he falls asleep beside the beast in the hay. dreams of the foods the old woman can cook now that she can get milk.

when he wakes up, he is changed. it is as if he simply turned into who he was made to be. not a new body. familiar. the body he could always see.

the old woman stands at the door of his barn. she says, “good morning,” and then she says a new word. a word he’s never heard. a name. his name. a boy name. 

he repeats it. it is a jewel in his mouth, so he says it again. another diamond.

“time to fetch water,” she says, winking. the whole way, he whispers his name. it never quite tastes the same, always beautiful, always a fine thing, always his. the something special he was lacking.

in the back of his pocket, there is one last magic bean. he will fetch the water and plant it. and he will carry that old woman to the castles she has never seen.

Instagram: loganmartintran

Eradicate the idea that darker people can’t wear bold/bright/neon or pastel colors. Eradicate the idea that we can only wear brown and neutral colors. If a dark person wants to wear bold blue let them, bright red let them, bright lime let them, pastel purple let them, and etc…etc… bolder/lighter and pastel colors look better on dark people anyway because it pops out on us. why would we not be able to wear them, we look so pretty in them.

Zodiac first dates

Capricorn: wears exactly the right thing but probably didn’t mean to. Is great at making casual conversation, but feels like they’re being awkward even if you make it obvious that you’re having a good time. Chooses a traditional dinner-date route to keep things familiar and controlled. Is great at hiding their insecurities but can’t hold back a smile. Has all the right manners and picks up the check, won’t try to kiss you unless you make the move.

Aquarius: looks at you with stars in their eyes (but doesn’t realize you can tell). Wears something quirky but still nice and presentable. their hair is messy (even though they spent an hour on it at home). starts with something traditional but invites you to do something else spontaneously because they don’t want the night to end. once they feel like they’ve run out of ways to entertain you, they’ll walk you home and talk about life with you. asks if they can kiss you

Pisces: is super nervous and can’t hide it so they don’t even try. wears something classic and modest, a little bit casual but not too much so. talks too much by accident and feels bad about it, even if you let them lead the conversation. asks a lot of personal questions and gives a lot of info on themselves. makes it obvious that they like you but won’t expect you to like them back. will try to pick up the check or at least go halvsies. too shy to make a move so they just smile really big and dopey until you kiss them

Aries: wears a red and/or black outfit, with a dramatic flair. They look like they stepped out of a magazine and you better notice. takes you to do something different and interesting, probably out of your comfort zone but right in the middle of theirs. asks thought-provoking questions that are difficult to answer, and seems to enjoy watching you come up with creative responses. conversation is intelligent and probably inappropriate. kisses you passionately without warning before the date is even over.

Taurus: wears something sexy but classy. makes good conversation, has interesting things to say but you can tell they aren’t showing their entire true self. Laughs at all your jokes but also has a sarcastic sense of humor and shows it right away. Will call you out on anything you say that they don’t agree with, but doesn’t make a big deal out of it or hold it against you. If they really like you, they’ll kiss you, but if they aren’t sure yet they’ll probably make you work for it.

Gemini: wears bright colors and bold shiny/sparkly accessories. Talks a lot and is very animated, maybe cuts you off sometimes but its by accident. They smile a lot and laugh very loudly, in a cute and excited way. Probably gets a little bit drunk at dinner and definitely kisses you at the end of the night. Texts you right after to tell you what a great time they had.

Cancer: Wears something casual but looks very put-together. More likely to ask you questions than to reveal too much about themselves. May seem quiet but its just because they are listening intently to what you have to say. If you can make them laugh, it melts your heart because their laugh is genuine and their smile lights up their face. Makes fun of you a little bit but only in a light-hearted way. Probably too shy to kiss you but will be upset if you don’t kiss them

Leo: Wears basic clothing that somehow works together to make a perfect outfit. Everyone in the place looks at them when you guys walk in, and more than likely someone else will hit on them while you’re together because they are just that magnetic. They will only focus on you though, and they try to find out as much about your soul as they can, asking deep questions and trying to provoke thoughtful conversation. Kisses you at the end of the night but makes you sweat it out waiting for the next date.

Virgo: Wears normal casual clothes that look good on them, and probably shows off their physique. Big personality, will talk loudly and say the first thing that comes to their mind, but nothing rude. They enjoy laughing, and making light conversation rather than delving deep. Easy to connect with because they are very understanding and can empathize with many different types of people. Will never judge you for your surface-features. Kisses you at the end of the date but is a little bit clumsy/awkward about it.

Libra: Wears light colors, pastels, and probably vintage clothes. Hair and/or makeup is perfect, and they try very hard to be sophisticated (even though they’ll probably spill or break something within the first 10 minutes, then be mortified by it). Is very modest when you ask them questions and doesn’t like to brag about themselves, but will praise you for every accomplishment you’ve made. Their laugh is so cute you want to cuddle them and they will give you their jacket even if you aren’t cold. Wants you to kiss them and will give you the opportunity but won’t be obvious about it.

Scorpio: Wears casual clothing but somehow they look amazing. Their smile is magnetic and they will make you laugh at every opportunity they get, and if you make them laugh too they’re as good as yours. Makes great conversation without revealing any personal information. Will look for excuses to touch you ‘by accident’ all night, and probably wants to take you dancing after dinner. Will probably also get drunk but will buy all your drinks if you let them. If they get the right vibe from you, they’ll kiss you but they won’t put themselves on the line unless they’re sure they won’t be rejected.

Sagittarius: Wears a nice outfit, but nothing too attention-getting. Tusseled hair and bright eyes that captivate you. Smiles really big all night and giggles a lot. Is happy to tell you anything you want to know but probably won’t ask too much about you unless you offer the information, because they don’t want to pry. Takes you to do something lighthearted and fun after dinner, where you can be alone together without too much attention on you. Pays for everything and refuses to let you even touch your wallet. Talks about their big dreams for the future and all the amazing things going for them. Kisses you if they think you’re into it, and is confident that you are (unless you aren’t, then they can definitely tell). 

My Eeveelutions flash sheet is finally on sale! Limited prints were made, so grab yours at https://www.etsy.com/shop/davisriderprints :) 

ideas of exercises to help with your practical art skills, as well as things to keep in mind while making art and new ways to find inspiration:

  1. draw every day
  2. recreate a drawing you did before, but better
  3. draw something using only simple geometric shapes
  4. do studies of famous artworks
  5. listen to artists explain their work, it’s super interesting
  6. take life drawing classes (or use online photo resources)
  7. find an artwork you love, and work out why
  8. draw caricatures of friends
  9. set a 1 minute timer and draw an object as quickly as possible
  10. draw something you can’t see, eg. music, emotion
  11. research artists you admire and find out how they work
  12. think about composition: what stands out, what recedes etc.
  13. find a famous artwork you hate and work out why
  14. sit outside and draw the landscape
  15. copy a photo exactly
  16. draw a scene from a film
  17. draw the contours of an object not the outline
  18. visit an art exhibition near you
  19. draw your bedroom
  20. look up tutorials online - there’s so many useful ones!
  21. practise creating contrast between light and dark in pictures
  22. research colour theory
  23. do a self portrait
  24. learn about art history! Research different movements etc.
  25. try a new medium
  26. consider the feeling you want to portray with the artwork
  27. draw without looking at the page
  28. draw a character from a book you’ve read
  29. draw something you don’t usually draw
  30. look at your pictures in the mirror to help you see problems better
  31. follow artists and galleries on instagram for inspo
  32. draw an ugly object in a beautiful way
  33. try using only bold, bright colours
  34. plan your colour palette before starting an artwork, and stick to it!
  35. if you usually work in 2D, make something in 3D
  36. always remember to add shadows
  37. draw an object which is important to you
  38. use 5 lines to depict an object, make every line count
  39. draw using negative space
  40. always draw from life when possible!
  41. think carefully about which direction the light is coming from
  42. study proportions and anatomy!! 
  43. draw your pet
  44. research items symbolic meanings in art
  45. make an art blog to compile images that inspire you
  46. draw using only straight lines
  47. try accentuating any subtle colours in an image
  48. draw models from fashion websites
  49. sketch with friends! They always have great ideas
  50. keep drawing even if you find it hard, you improve with every mistake!

{my art masterpost might also be useful to you} 

Good luck! xx

unicorn head - rated

very beautiful!  gorgeous horn, lovely hair, she puts a lot of effort into her look & i bet she’s a hard worker! 10/10

not as multicoloured as her unicorn friends, but still very beautiful! she probably has a very kind heart. 10/10

1 word: very lovely. 
she’s a charmer, everyone loves her. i love her too. although she is blocky, she does not let that bring her down! 10/10

he looks so young and innocent! i’d trust him with my life. adorable boy, 10/10

she looks related to Apple in some way. she’s like the pastel version of her, but she’s still very lovely and unique! 10/10 i love her

very majestic. there’s a feeling of dominance around him, but i bet he has a heart of gold. probably the father of samsung and microsoft. he cares deeply about his children 10/10 loving father

wow! bold & bright! astonishing! she would get 1st place at a beauty contest. 10/10 gorgeous girl

hes very confident. he spiked his hair, & he is really beautiful! look at that smile. he’s a gorgeous boy & he knows it 10/10

mysterious gal!  shes quite reserved and tends to keep to herself, but she doesn’t mind being with her friends! you know in those wallpapers where there’s a beautiful horse at a beautiful lake? that’s her. beautiful. i love her so much 10/10