Saw Great Comet yesterday (7-30-17), and I just wanted to share some of my experience with you guys! I was sitting in the rear mezz, which I highly recommend!
*I'mma skip over a lot of the main details just because they’ve already been covered, but I’ll try to include things that were particular to this show/not often talked about.
• There’s a little vignette right before the show starts where Andrey is leaving for war, and it begins with Natasha screaming the most heartbreaking no you’ve ever heard in ur life.
• When Oak came out, there was thunderous applause. Like, it went on for at least a full minute. I was so happy.
• Also, hearing that first accordion note reduced me to tears bc I’m sensitive™.
• So lemme talk about Oak’s voice real quick. Someone noted that it’s this perfect blend between Groban’s smoothness and Malloy’s roughness, and I have to wholeheartedly agree. It’s absolutely beautiful. He’s a beautiful Pierre.
• Also, he plays Pierre with a lot of melancholy. It’s almost as though he’s always on the verge of tears.
• “He’s charming; he has no sex.” While the ladies are skipping around him, Hélène is conducting them, and it’s hilarious.
• “I pity you. I pity me. I pity you.” — Oak sings these lines so gutturally. His agony echoes off the very walls of the Imperial.
• “Pierre” received a long applause as well.
• GRACE MCLEAN DESERVED TO BE NOMINATED FOR A TONY AWARD!1! HOLY CRAP. HER VOCALS BRING THE HOUSE DOWN!!!!!!!
• The moment she belts her first lines, you know exactly what kind of personality Marya D. has, and that’s a tribute to her actress. Srsly.
• During the song, Marya will sometimes act maternally to Sonya, but the moment Natasha comes back into sight, she’ll roughly push Sonya away, and it’s hilarious.
• Natasha’s humming is absolutely heartbreaking. It’s one of the many moments in the musical when you realize how young she is.
“The Private and Intimate Life of the House”
• There were understudies for both Mary and Bolkonsky/Andrey, Courtney Bassett and Ken Clark respectively. They were wonderful. Ken’s performance especially stood out to me.
• “People enjoy me, though…” Before he sang these lines, he held eye contact with a person across from him for, like, five seconds, and it was incredibly funny. (Same goes for him patting his wig and powder flying into the air.)
• “BRING ME MY SLIPPERS! YES, FATHER. YES, FATHER. BRING ME MY WIIIIIIIIIIIIINE.”
• The audience interaction in this one is A+. Mary’s suitor and Bolkonsky’s cheap French thing draw huge laughs from the crowd.
• “They are there upon his head.” I’ve seen a few posts where people lament that the audience laughs at this line, but I truly think it’s supposed to be laughed at. Mary is kind of coy when she says it, like she’s laughing at it herself. After that, though, her mood dips, slowly sinking into this utterly palpable reproach.
• The audience was completely silent.
• While she’s singing her final lines, Bolkonsky is slowly making his way back to his chair, and your heart shatters as you watch. He’s clutching his back and using the railing for support. When he finally collapses in his chair, he kinda puts his head in his hands.
“Natasha and the Bolkonskys”
• Towards the beginning of the song, Natasha and Mary hoist chairs over their heads and join a table of people on stage. It’s hilarious. They really milk the awkwardness of the moment.
• “Constrained and strained” is so frickin’ good. When Courtney and Denée sing it, it’s really low and creepy.
• “Says the mean, old man in his underthings” drew huge laughs, especially bc of Bolkonsky’s hand movements. He kept gesturing towards his entire body.
“No One Else”
• Honest to God, I could write essays on how perfect Denée Benton and her performance of this song is. She emotes so beautifully. Her voice, her movements, her facial expressions all come together to create Natasha, a young, lost girl who wants nothing more than to see Andrey again.
• I cried (obviously).
• The blue light is absolutely gorgeous in this song. (The blue light is meant to be the moon.)
• At one point, Andrey shows up, and snow begins to lightly fall on him. He reads one of Natasha’s letters, brings it to his lips tenderly before walking away, and just behind him, almost able to reach him, is Natasha, her face the perfect picture of despair.
• Denée Benton.
• The applause after this song was long and well-deserved.
• Just for the record, songs like this one, “The Duel”, and “The Abduction"—where all of the cast members are out—are absolutely electric. The energy is incredible.
• “The opera, the opera…” Marya D. belts these lines so loudly, lololol.
• On one side, you can spot Heath Saunders as one of the opera goers, and lemme just tell you guys, that long, black coat suits him.
• “Hélène and Dolokhov arm-in-arm…” They aren’t so much arm-in-arm as they are passionately making out on stage. Omg. I love them.
• “Noooo, I’m enjoying myself this evening.” Pierre pumps his fist and smiles this absolutely giddy smile.
• When Marya sees that Natasha is talking to Hèlène, she runs up and pushes Nat behind her.
• To indicate that the “curtain rises,” some of the light bulbs retract. It’s a cool effect.
• I know the literal opera part of the song sounds incredibly weird on the recording, but in person, it’s more hilarious than you’d think. The actors are doing ridiculous things and making animalistic noises, lol.
• When it’s over, the spotlight turns to Natasha and Sonya. Sonya’s asleep, lolololololol.
• Right before Anatole comes in and around the time Natasha begins to “pass into a state of intoxication”, she hallucinates Andrey being injured during the war. The two circle each other around Pierre’s salon, simply gazing into each other’s eyes, and it’s intense.
• Anatole’s entrance is frickin’ ridiculous and amazing all at once.
• You know those measured beats at the beginning of his introduction? During each of those, he sharply turns his head in a new direction, ostensibly to show off his head.
• Also, his walk is literally a swagger.
• Either in this scene or during “Natasha and Anatole”, he caught a lady unaware and kissed her on the cheek. She jumped so badly, lolololol.
“Natasha and Anatole”
• During the intro of the song, Anatole checks himself out in a mirror before posing himself perfectly for the moment Natasha turns around to see him.
• Also, let’s talk about Lucas Steele for a hot minute. He is Anatole Kuragin, from his almost exotic voice to the way he walks. Out of the cast, I’d say that Steele is the one who plays the crowd the best.
• Throughout this number, Anatole and Natasha play the roles of pursuer and the pursued. Natasha tries so hard not to be wrapped under his spell. :(
• When he takes the flower off her head, Natasha makes a perfect :O face. I love Denée Benton.
• “And kiss me on the neck.” He does manage to get this kiss, and it’s really rough-looking.
• “How do you like Moscow?” Lolololololololol.
• For the most part, the two are roving around the stage (mostly bc Natasha is running away from Anatole), but at the end, they sit down next to each other, and it’s played as a really significant moment.
• “The Duel” is epic live. Holy freakin’ crap.
• The moment Dolokhov, Pierre, and Anatole clink their glasses together, the strobe lights come on and the real party begins. There’s intensely sexual dancing, half-naked people, and glow sticks everywhere.
• Y'all, I saw Marya D., in a skin tight, black costume no less, whip several people with a riding crop with my own two eyes.
• Also, in the very back of the rear mezz, there was, like, a threesome going on.
• The energy during this song was absolutely nuts.
• Sonya’s party outfit is so cute. It’s an almost innocent looking dress, and she’s wearing bright sunglasses.
• The ensemble echoing back “corpulence” is really frickin’ funny.
• Nick Choksi really highlights the psychopathic part of Dolokhov, especially in the “Here’s to the health of married women” sequence. His movements are jubilant but also shark-like. He and Hélène make out for a loooooong time.
“Dust and Ashes”
• Oak’s “Dust and Ashes” is an absolute privilege to hear, and if you have the chance, I would go and listen to it while you can. His voice could have shaken the entire foundation of the theater.
• While he’s singing, the entire cast lines up in the rear mezz to provide backup vocals, and it’s incredibly poignant. (Also, tho, Lucas Steele stood in front of me, and I died.)
• “Don’t let me die while I’m like this…” During these lines, Oak starts crying, and it guts you.
• There was a two minute applause for “Dust and Ashes”, and I was on the verge of crying just bc he was getting such a huge applause.
• Oak is perfect, okay?
“Sunday Morning” / “Charming”
• “Everyone sees a man!” Ingrid delivers this line so well. It got a huge laugh.
• AHHHHHHHHH, now here’s a symbolic moment for you. When Natasha says that she can see a shape in the darkness as she’s looking into the mirror, Pierre is standing up right behind her. Pierre is her future.
• (The moment Nat leaves, he sits back down.)
• Amber Gray can slay me, tbh. “Charming” is everything I could have ever asked for.
• When she walks in, the lights are bright behind her, and her hood is over her head, effectively masking her identity. It’s a really neat moment.
• The lights dim when she takes off her hood.
• Natasha is in her undergarments throughout the song until Hélène gives her her cloak. (Btw, Natasha looks gr8 in said cloak.)
• At some point, Natasha starts mimicking Hélène’s movements, and it’s adorable but also a really nice character touch. Same goes for Hélène snatching Andrey’s necklace off of Nat’s neck and exchanging it for her own pearls.
• This number was enchanting. I had a hard time focusing on the main stage bc the dancers in the rear mezz. were so mesmerizing in their movements.
• Also, tho, the ensemble dancers mimicked what Anatole and Natasha were dancing at times.
• When Natasha tries to run away from Anatole, he pursues her up the steps and forces their first kisses. She’s surprised at first, but gives into it with abandon a few seconds later. The kiss lasts a very long time.
• At the end of “The Ball”, Natasha and Anatole run through the doors together and then turn to face the audience. They’re holding hands. The lights are bright behind them.
• “Letters” is such a frickin’ jam, y'all.
• When it starts, the cast members spill out of the double doors singing.
• At the beginning of “Letters”, just as Pierre is addressing Andrey, Andrey appears at the top of the stairs. Pierre faces him.
• “I see nothing but the candles in the mirror.” For one of the very few times in the play, Natasha and Pierre face each other.
• The geometric symmetry in the choreography is really wonderful all around. For instance, at one point, Mary, Natasha, and Pierre are all positioned in a triangle, taking turns facing one another.
• Anatole’s love letter was an absolute showstopper. People were whistling, clapping, and screaming when he started holding those really long notes. Holy crap @ Lucas Steele!!!!!
“Sonya and Natasha” / “Sonya Alone”
• “Sonya and Natasha” is intense. I was on the edge of my seat for their fighting.
• “I’m soooooooooooooo happy, and sooooooooooo frightened.” Kill it, Denée!!!! (When she’s singing about her happiness, her arms are extended widely, and when she’s singing about being frightened, she withdraws into herself.)
• “I have no will. My life is his.” During these lines, Natasha is wrapped around an increasingly agonized Sonya.
• “Sonya Alone” is one of the most powerful numbers in the show, and you really don’t recognize it until you see it live.
• The theater is almost completely dark with the exception of a spotlight on Sonya. Throughout the entirety of the song, Natasha is ambling about, tightly clutching Anatole’s letter.
• Sonya never takes her eyes off of Natasha, and your heart can’t help but ache for both of them.
• Ingrid Michaelson is truly a wonderful Sonya—maybe not as sure as Brittain but she definitely doesn’t lack heart.
• On the first “I will protect your name and your heart”, Natasha stumbles on a stair, staggered by the weight of her friend’s words. Then, she walks to the opposite side of the stage, only to be completely stopped by Sonya’s, “I know you’ve forgotten me.”
• For the rest of the song, Natasha is still, her head inclined towards Sonya.
“Preparations” / “Balaga”
• When Pierre greets Anatole at the beginning of this number, it’s almost as though he’s caught Anatole out. Anatole had been trying to sneak past unnoticed.
• Anatole shaves in front of a mirror during “Preparations”, lol. At one point, he turns to the crowd with shaving cream still on his face.
• Dolokhov sings his arguments at Anatole very fiercely during this song, even more so than he does in the recording.
• I looooooooooooove “Balaga”. It’s such a wild performance. Paul Pinto moves with such agility and manic energy. The ensemble hands out the egg shakers during this one.
• “THE ABDUCTION” IS SO GOOOD. HOLY CRAPPP.
• Anatole singing “WHOOOOA” while swinging his green jacket cleared my skin, watered my crops, and cured my depression.
• The whole theater is absolutely alive with commotion. There’s a dance off between a guy in the rear mezz and a guy on stage that’s frickin’ amazing.
• People are doing backflips.
• Natasha smashes a painting on Balaga’s head.
• Marya and Hélène are making out.
• Pierre is doing a cute jig.
• It’s beautiful, beautiful chaos.
• When Pierre screams his “WHOA” part, everyone collapses on the floor, absolutely exhausted, and then, then, the most wonderful thing happens.
• Pierre giggles.
• God, I love Oak.
• “Wait, wait. First we have to sit down.” Anatole made room for himself next to a girl, which was hecking funny, but what was even funnier was that the girl leaned her head on Anatole’s shoulder. The whole theater dissolved in laughter. Anatole held the quiet for a comedically long period before getting up, and when he did, he kissed the girl on the cheek. It was really cute.
• When Marya entered at the end of the song, surrounded by this harsh, red light, there were audible gasps in the audience. People weren’t expecting her, lol.
“In My House”
• GRACE MCLEAN DESERVED A TONY NOMINATION: PART TWO.
• She acted her butt out through this entire song. I’m serious.
• Her voice is dangerously quiet until, “YOU LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU. YOU LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU.”
• The tension in the room was palpable.
• Also, all of the yelling you hear on the recording? It’s so much more intense live. It’s fierce enough to make you flinch.
• “Don’t touch me!” At one point when Natasha screamed this, she physically pushed Marya away, and Marya wasn’t angry so much as she was stunned.
• “Natasha’s whole body shook with noiseless, convulsive sobs.” She was literally bent over, grasping the railing like she couldn’t breathe.
• “And she threw herself down on the sofa.” Natasha stands erect with her arms crossed and her head buried in them. The spotlights focus on her, and that’s when Marya softens.
• You can see the fight leave Grace McLean’s body. Her voice is incredibly tender.
“A Call to Pierre” / “Find Anatole”
• GRACE MCLEAN DESERVED A TONY NOMINATION: PART THREE.
• Her face is absolutely devastated as she’s talking to Pierre. Like, I still have chills thinking about it.
• Also, Pierre is waking up from a nap at the beginning of this number, lol.
• “I have been… studying.” He glances quickly at the place he had been napping.
• The sheer power in Oak’s voice really comes out in these next songs. Anger and fear simmers behind the way he sings. A+++
• At the beginning of “Find Anatole”, he truly sounds out of breath. His body is fully bent over for a couple of seconds.
• “He can’t be married!” The absolute horror in Denée’s voice nearly slaughters you, tbh.
• When Pierre discovers Anatole and Hélène and gets mad, they start to run away.
• Pierre is livid when he finds Anatole and Hélène. I mean, livid.
“Pierre and Anatole” / “Natasha Very Ill”
• Pierre nearly throttling Anatole is a sight™.
• “Amuse yourself with women like my wife!” The spotlight shines on Hélène as she stands up and bristles indignantly. What an amazing character touch.
• During that long pause before Pierre apologizes to Anatole, Natasha walks right between the two and drinks the arsenic. A few moments later, it begins taking effect, and she starts screaming. It’s a terrible, convincing sound. She runs off stage. Marya and Sonya follow her.
• “FOR PETERSBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURG!” :’)))
• There was a pause between “Pierre and Anatole” and “Natasha Very Ill” while we all wildly applauded that C#. Holy crap @ Lucas Steele!!!!!!!!!!!!
• “Natasha Very Ill” is sad. Everyone is devastated, especially Sonya and Marya.
“Pierre and Andrey”
• Ken Clark is an amazing Andrey. He has a v. human approach to the prince.
• When Pierre and Andrey are trading insults, there’s a lot of affection between them. It’s really as though the two haven’t seen each other in quite awhile.
• Andrey’s somewhat tender tone continues until he asks Pierre to confirm whether the rumors he had heard were true, and when Pierre replies in the affirmative, that is the very moment when Andrey assumes his colder exterior.
• It frickin’ breaks your heart.
• “If you wish to be my friend, never speak of that again.” During “If you wish to be my friend,” Andrey’s voice breaks seemingly on the edge of tears, and then it hardens at the end as he jabs a finger in Pierre’s chest. The moment he does so, though, he immediately looks horrified. Did I really just threaten my friend?
• “Well, goodbye” is soft.
• CRAP. I FORGOT THE WORST PART OF THIS SONG. Behind Andrey and Pierre, Natasha and Sonya are standing in a darkened corner. Whenever Andrey refers to Natasha, she flinches and buries herself into Sonya.
“Pierre and Natasha” / “The Great Comet of 1812”
• “Pierre and Natasha” broke me.
• At the beginning of the song, Natasha slowly makes her way down the staircase, entirely dependent on the railing to get down. It tears at your heart. You can’t help but remember how lovely and vibrant she had been at the beginning of the play.
• The nightgown she’s in makes her look so small, and with her braided hair, she looks just like a little girl.
• Oak emotes his lyrics so tenderly, so gently in this one. His voice is always on the verge of breaking.
• “She began to cry…” Yeah, no. She sobbed, and you sobbed with her. Her whole body was shaking. She had to hold on to the rail.
• An interesting tidbit: Hélène is sitting right behind Natasha, and she has her head in her hands like she’s reacting to the sadness of this scene, too.
• “All over…” At this point, Natasha is walking back up the staircase, and the theater is absolutely silent. You could have heard a pin drop. Oak says the written line to her back.
• I’ll never forget the way Oak delivered it, and I will never want to either.
• His voice simply broke on “if I were free”.
• Pierre turns away from her, and then she turns towards him, slowly making her way back to him.
• During her last lines, Natasha touches his cheek, and it is sincerely one of the most beautiful moments of this very beautiful play.
• “The Great Comet of 1812” was moving, too.
• The theater very much looked like a beautiful night sky. The comet prop was stunning, too.
• Pierre sat down at the end of the song and gazed reverentially up at the comet.
This play was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life, and I recommend it with all of my heart and soul. Please, please support it if you can.
Prompt: Y/N has always been a student at Hogwarts but has gone through her years practically unnoticed by anyone that caught her eye. This year, she expects that to change. Instead of shoving her nose between the pages of books someone will be begin to take quite the interest in her. Watch her finish off her last year of schooling while fucking around with guys along the way.
Warnings?: Smut, DRUGS, alcohol, cursing
A/N: sorry this took me forver to put out and write, i’ve been having writers block lately. ANYWAY, I just finished this about five minutes ago and haven’t read over it too thoroughly so there might be a few mistakes. Much love and keep requesting :))))
Why do I do what I do? Merlin, I fucking hate myself. One minute I am collected, and the next i’m off the chain, what the hell is going on with me?
I don’t like him, I don’t
Yet, I crave him so much
But maybe it’s not a want
It’s a need.
I bloody need him.
I want to feel him once again, but this time I want him to remember, I want him to remember.
All night these dastardly thoughts have been racing through my head, the night me and Sirius shared resides in the darkest parts of my memories, for I shouldn’t even dare to remember at all, yet I do, I keep thinking about it, and it just makes me want it more and more.
When I awoke I had a massive headache, my eyes could barely open because of the bright sunlight shining in on me. I twitched slightly, too tired to pull the covers over my head.
“Morning.” Lily said.
I peered over to her, she was sitting on her bed, a cup of tea nestled in between her hands, and a pair of sunglasses placed on her nose.
“Need some?” She questioned, referencing to her sunglasses. “S’quite bright in here.”
I sat up slowly, rubbing the bridge of my nose.
“What the hell happened last night?” I asked, looking down at a set of lingerie lying on the floor.
“Well, we got drunk, and I mean bloody drunk,” She said, getting excited. “I brought some of my favorite muggle alcohol and you and I finished them off.”
“Me and you finished off two bottles of…” I looked down at the floor reading the labels on the front of the glass. “Jack Daniels?”
Lily got quiet all of the sudden, looking down into her mug.
“Lily…” I pressed. “Who else was with us?”
She stayed quiet, still looking longingly into her mug.
“Just James, and Remus and Peter…” She said half-heartedly.
“You’re telling me Remus drank hard liquor? Because we both know good and well he doesn’t drink hard liquor.”
“…And Sirius.” She said quietly, sounding ashamed.
“And Sirius!” I laughed sarcastically, getting angry.
“Lily,” I questioned.” “What the hell happened last night?”
the night before…
“He did what!” Lily whisper yelled at me, dragging me into the corner.
I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms protectively.
“How many times do I have to say it. I started freaking out, then I leant up and kissed him.”
Lily scoffed, not knowing what to say.
“What?” I yelled. “It’s not like I haven’t kissed him before!”
“Y/N…” She sighed. “This is different, you were…you were…”
“Lucid? Yeah I know.”
She eyed me up and down, flashing me a quizzical look.
“You don’t like him… do you?”
I got choked up, my air catching in my throat
“Pshh… What, me? Like Sirius? Haha, of course not!” I said, trying to play it off, but the thoughts inside my head were contradicting everything I was saying.
She raised her brow at me and shook her head as we walked into the common room, running into James and Remus.
“Oi, where are you two off to?” James asked, pulling Lily into a hug.
“Just going upstairs, a long day it’s been.” Lily replied, rummaging her head into his neck.
“What she said.” I added.
“Are you guys not going to the party tonight?” Remus asks, smiling at me.
“Party?” I asked. “What party?”
“Just a house party for Gryffindor’s, maybe a few Hufflepuff’s.” Remus added.
I scoffed, biting my lip instinctively.
“No Slytherins?” I asked.
“Merlin no, definitely not. Sirius made it very clear he didn’t want them here.”
James coughed and nudged Remus’ side, I guess that was something he wasn’t supposed to say. Me and Lily looked at each other suspiciously and waltzed up the stairs to our room.
“What are you wearing?” Lily yelled to me from the bathroom.
I couldn’t find anything I wanted to wear in my wardrobe despite the countless dresses and denim I had all lined up.
“Not sure yet.” I added.
She walked out of the bathroom, sliding in an earring, her hair freshly curled and bouncing along with each step.
“Let me look.” She said, pushing me out of the way and searching my wardrobe.
Then it caught her eye, the light pink, holographic dress. It was tight up top and flared out at the bottom, quite skimpy. If I bent over too far everyone would have quite the view of my arse.
“This,” She said. “This is what you’re going to wear.”
“That?” I yelled, a bit curious.
“Yes that! You’ll be the talk of the school, why haven’t you worn it yet?” She asked.
“Well it was more of a collective purchase, I wasn’t planning on wearing it.”
“Well you will tonight, and I bet you’ll get more than just a few cheeky glances.” She said, winking.
I rolled my eyes, but gave into her pressure, slipping up the small dress wearing nothing but dark red underwear beneath.
“We look good.” She said, I agreed, nodding along with her.
“Great, even.” I added.
My hair, once again, sat high atop my head, my makeup still natural, but with a hint of flare.
The party music was booming, we heard the rumble from atop the stairs. Some couples were getting a head start already, pushing each other up against their bedroom doors, making out vigorously.
“Bet ten galleons you’ll fuck Sirius tonight.”
“I won’t so, you’re on.”
“You will.” Was all she said and we began to strut towards the compacted crowd.
The moment I stepped foot on the floor seemed all the attention in the room was on me. Guys were ogling over me, girls were slapping their men on the arms so they’d pay attention to them, yet I could careless. I had one person on my mind, I had one person I wanted to impress.
I saw him with James and Remus and a few other guys from our house horsing around with one another. They all had drinks in their hands and seemed a little buzzed. I looked down quickly, checking my dress to make sure I looked alright, that there were no wrinkles. Why did I care so much? Maybe Lily was right, maybe I did like him, maybe I just couldn’t accept it.
When I looked back up he was already staring at me, his mouth watering. His eyes met mine, intensely. He stared into them for a good five seconds before they started travelling down, lower and lower. The guys around him began to notice.
“Sirius?” Remus shouted to him. “Are you alrigh-”
And that’s when the others caught on, when they all got sight of me. Something about this dress was illuminating, it made me stand out against everyone in the crowd. Sirius finally took a sip of his drink, still staring at me. He chugged it all down, placing it on a table next to him, and waltzing over to me.
“Fancy seeing you here t’night, you look ravishing.” He said wrapping his arm around my waist pulling me into him, whispering the last part of the sentence into my ear.
“Thank you.” I gulped, barely being able to speak, my stomach erupting with butterflies.
“Well,” James said, Sirius still gazing into my eyes. “Let’s get this party started.”
One shot, lime, two shots, lime, three shots, lime. Apparently I liked tequila.
My vision began to lighten as the liquor in my stomach began to churn, cooking up a spell. Sirius stood behind me, his hand around my front, he held a lime in his mouth and each time I downed another i’d turn around and suck the juice out of it, making sure to look him right in the eyes.
“Sirius, Y/N!” Lily slurred, her pupils insanely dilated.
“Evans!” I yelled. “What the hell are you on!”
“Molly… or maybe it was acid, either way come upstairs with us!” She yelled back, undeniably fucked up.
“Upstairs? The party is down here!” I shouted back, making sure she heard me over the music.
“Yeah but upstairs I have two bottles of Jack Daniels with our names on it.” She said with a sly smile, biting down on her tongue with her teeth.
I looked up at Sirius who was already looking down at me. We both nodded to each other and followed Lily, James, Remus, Peter and two other guys up the stairs to our dorm room.
“Whiskey for everyone!” Lily yelled, us all stumbling into the room after her, everyone giggling back and forth to one another over our drunken states.
She pulled out eight shot glasses and placed them all upside down on the floor, Remus rolled a blunt and placed it down next to them, while Peter peppered a few psychedelics here and there.
“Let’s play a game!” She squealed, pulling us all down to the floor, Sirius pulling me into his lap, he didn’t like the hungry looks every guy was giving me.
“Truth or dare,” James said. “The game for the brave and the… weak.”
He proceeded then to go over the rules of the game, saying that if you refused a truth or a dare you had one of three options; take a shot, hit the blunt, or take a psychedelic, and if you had already chose one, the next time you’d have to pick another.
We were an hour into the game, but still barely made a dent into it. Remus and Peter were stoned out of their minds, Lily and I well, let’s just say we drank a little more than anticipated, and everyone had officially taken at least one psychedelic.
“Lily, Y/N,” One of the other guys with us murmured. “Truth or dare?”
“Both of us?” I asked, slurring my words.
“Both of you.”
“Isn’t that like, against the rules?”
“Nope,” He said, popping the P. “So what’ll it be?”
I was about to speak before Lily answered for me.
“Dare.” Lily said suddenly, a devilish gleam In her eye.
The guy started laughing, and whispered something into one of the other guys ears.
“Strip.” Was all he said, leaning back on his hands.
Since I was far from sober, the phrase was almost like music to my ears, but a clarifying sobriety deep down was yelling at me, telling me not to do it.
“You’re not too pussy are you?” He asked.
Me and lily looked to one another, raising our eyebrows.
“M’not too pussy, maybe Y/N, but not me.” Lily slurred, standing up all wobbly.
“Well, I said both of you, so strip or pick.” He said, the word pick referring to the drugs.
“This isn’t fair,” I whined. “You lads will take advantage of us!”
“Advantage?” The bloke questioned. “Never in a million years.”
I looked down to Sirius who seemed rather annoyed, jealous the other boys could see me… exposed.
“Or,” The boy called. “Give me and… Remus a lap dance.”
“What?” Remus asked, the statement sending him quickly back into reality.
“You heard me Moony. I mean if you don’t want to I bet there’s someone who’s far more anxious to take your place.”
I looked to Sirius who was watching me like a hawk, he looked like he wanted to kill the guy who had dared me, his blood boiling and pumping through his veins.
“I’ll do it,” Sirius said all of the sudden, loud and stern, his jaw clenching. “Give me the lap dance.”
He stood up swiftly, his hand grasping onto my upper arm, a tight lock on it.
“And slip into something more… comfortable.”
Me and Lily disappeared into the bathroom, pulling two select pieces from our wardrobe. James was pass out drunk, he slept soundly on the wooden floor so Lily had no choice but give one of the others a lap dance. We were both still under the influence, completely hammered, so I left on my dark red underwear but slipped a bra over my breasts and a silk teddy over the top as well.
“C’mon ladies,” He called. “Don’t keep us waiting.”
We both sauntered out, Lily’s hips swaying much more than mine. The sudden exposure of my skin making an uncomfortable feeling erupt from within me, my hands instinctively wrapping around my chest.
“C’mon, don’t be shy.”
I dropped my hands walking right towards Sirius, an angry look still plastered on his face.
“Merlin…” I heard a boy call.
I looked over to my right and Lily had already began to dance. Getting low to the ground, swaying her hips, rubbing up on all the guys around her. I saw Remus scoot backwards, undeniably uncomfortable, yet he still watched from afar, a strange sight it was indeed.
I straddled Sirius, my legs wrapping around his lap, sinking down onto his crotch. His hands never touched me, they just held him up from behind, his eyes looking into mine then down my body quizzically.
“This feels so, familiar.” He stated, trying to sound calm but still I heard the rage spitting through his teeth. He really didn’t like the looks they were all giving me.
“Familiar?” I asked, acting like I had no clue to what he was referring to, watching him try to figure out what about this was so strange.
But I knew, I knew the feeling, a feeling I’ve been trying to shake ever since it happened, no matter how badly I didn’t want to. He was remembering the time we spent together, that I prayed so dearly he’d forget.
Suddenly I was being lifted off Sirius lap and placed into someone elses, their hands gripping roughly to my hips.
“If you’re not going to do anything to her I sure as bloody hell will!” One of the boys from earlier squawked.
He looked at me with a distinct hunger in his eyes, he was devouring me with them. He started moving me up and down onto his crotch, trying to get some friction between the two of us. This is not how I wanted it, this wasn’t how I wanted any of this to be. Suddenly I heard a thud and a shuffling of feet and once again I was being yanked off someone else’s lap. Sirius threw me off to the side, and yanked up the kid who pulled me into his lap by his collar.
“Who the hell do you think you are, mate?” Sirius yelled. “You think you can bloody treat a woman like that, my woman?”
The guy was petrified, looking at Sirius then back to me.
“D-didn’t know she was yours, mate!” He squealed while falling back down onto the floor with a thud.
And for the last time Sirius yanked me up, throwing me over his shoulder, and pulled me into the bathroom. I was pushed harshly against the door, smacking my head a tad on the wood. I felt Sirius’ hands wrap around my waist, one of them also holding me up under my bum. He rested his head on my chest and stayed quiet, my hand landed in his hair, playing with it.
“Sirius?” I asked looking down at him sleepily, watching his chest heave up and down.
“Hmm?” He asked.
“Didn’t know I was yours…” I said playfully, biting my lip, a small smile sweeping up onto my face.
He smiled into my skin, I felt the stretching of his lips against my chest,a low rumble escaping them.
“You aren’t really… s’just like you is all… got a tad jealous.”
“A tad?” I asked, pulling his chin up so he looked at me, he tried to hold back a smile on his face.
We were startled by Lily’s playful squealing coming from my room, and the sound of pounding music being turned up. We looked back to one another and began to laugh and he set me back down on my feet.
“You’re drunk.” He said laughing.
“So are you!” I yelled back, poking his chest.
“Yeah but I wasn’t the one who almost gave four different guys a lapdance.”
“You’re just jealous.” I said, sticking my nose up in the air, walking away from him.
“Oi!” He yelled. “Of what?”
“You wanted one, a lap dance.”
“Did I now?” He asked, testing me. “How are you so sure?”
“Well for starters I saw your dick jump out of your pants when I walked out of the bathro-” I couldn’t even finish my sentence before he cut me off, tackling me to the ground.
“We won speak of this!” He yelled playfully, pushing his hand over my mouth.
And suddenly we were in the position again, me straddling him, my crotch coming close and closer to his. He looked down at me on his lap, one of his eyebrows raising, then looked back up at my outfit. I kept my eyes on his, watching him as I lowered myself a top his pants, pressing down hard.
“Y/N,” He moaned, his head falling back. “You’re drunk.”
“Doesn’t mean I don’t know what I want.” I said back.
And with that sentence he latched on tightly to my hips as I began to grind harder and harder onto his erection. My hands flying back into his hair, my fingers tangling themselves within the strands.
I turned around swiftly, trying to synchronize my moves to the beat of the music. I began to pull my teddy down, strap by strap, making sure to give him a show. He sat there, leant back, watching me with a glaze over his eyes. I dropped the pink silk to the floor, becoming exposed to him like I was that one time.
I bent over infront of his face, then sat down on him backwards, his hands massaging hard into the skin of my ass. I moved my bum into the crotch of his jeans again, enjoying the sound of his breathless moans escaping from his lips.
I pushed him down on his back sitting down on his stomach and leant down to kiss him. Our lips pushing into each other roughly. There was a definite need there. I heard him whimper as I bit down on his bottom lip, pulling on the now pinkened skin.
I began to scooch my crotch lower and lower until I was perched on his cock again, grinding hard down onto it. I began to dry hump him, suddenly feeling the pleasure from my side. To make the friction much greater, Sirius pushed himself up on his hand, rubbing himself into as I was to him.
His mouth was wide open, attaching to my neck from time to time. I rubbed vigorously into him, the material of my panties beginning to bunch up onto one side. I could tell he was getting close, the sound of my moans filling his ears and a sudden wetness now covering his clothed cock. Then I watched as his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he let out a throaty district moan, saying my name softly as he came. I too, trying my hardest still to reach my desired place, and within no time I was there, a moaning mess just like him.
He fell back onto the floor and I feel on top of his, my ear to his chest listening to the pounding of his heart and the shortness in his breath.
“Hot damn,” He said. “I don’t think I’ve ever came so hard in my life.”
The room was now empty, no sounds of music, no more squealing. Lily had finally laid her head to rest that night, Remus tucking her in after she got a little too crazy with that one boy from their house. Her soft snores were the only thing filling the room, well, that and the sound of Sirius whispering to Y/N, goodnight.
She slipped into bed as well, looking up to him as he placed a chaste kiss to her forehead, praising her once again for the beautiful work she had done that night. He walked out of the room, a small smiled placed across his face as he hopped quietly back to his dorm.
When he entered he sat down on his bed, laughing at James sprawled out on the floor, Peter looking practically dead, and Remus asleep as snug as a bug under his covers. Sirius peered over to his bedside table, looking at the family photo which sat gloomily next to him. Not a hint of a smile coming from any of their faces in the picture. He picked it up, getting a closer look at his brother whom he envied so deeply, but wanted to love so bad. The green surrounding the picture frame seemed to look so obscure next to the red lace panties that were sitting behind it.
Red lace panties.
Only then was it when Sirius realized everything he seemed to forget.
PSA in dealing with blindness or the partially sighted
So those who know me know I lost my vision at 14 due to some freak immune system issues (I’ve talked about it on here) but that I still function. In fact, if I didn’t tell you I had a giant hole where your face is, you’d never know it, but I do. Because I have one foot in the world of the sight, having been extremely visual as a person, and one world in that of the visually impaired because of the extreme flux in my visual acuity, I feel like I can give you some useful tips, if you ever need to help a visually impaired person, or someone who is completely blind.
1. Don’t just help.
This is the biggest fucking issue. The fact is if I’m using my cane, I’m looking for things on the ground that are landmarks to my location. Which means if you suddenly open the door for me without saying anything and my cane can’t find it, I become extremely disoriented. ALWAYS GIVE AN AUDITORY CLUE THAT YOU ARE ASSISTING.
This includes you well-meaning but completely idiotic people who stop at intersections and then wave the blind pedestrian on. You know who you are. I don’t know, obviously, because I can’t see you, but the people that I’m usually nearby often point this out to me.
2. It’s okay to ask if the person needs assistance.
We may be frustrated but it has nothing to do with you. You won’t hurt our feelings. We don’t like NEEDING help, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need it. Just say “Excuse me, can I help?” But only if it seems a person is lost or confused.
3. Don’t shout at us.
We’re blind. Not deaf. And usually our hearing is our predominant sense. You’ll figuratively blind us by shouting.
4. If a blind person is about to step into something physically dangerous, shout “STOP” with commanding authority. And then be apologetic and humorous afterward. It’s how our cane training is done and so we learn to respond to it.
5. NEVER GRAB A BLIND PERSON.
Offer them your elbow with a verbal cue like “Here’s my arm on your left, if you need it.” The blind person has to govern their own equilibrium, which means they need the flexibility of letting go of you. If you tug them, you also pull them off balance or faster than is comfortable for them to “see” with a cane or foot.
6. Blind people don’t tap the cane for themselves.
The “tap tap” of the cane is usually used only in groups of people to alert you of their coming (though sometimes it is used the brush the cane over uneven terrain that might catch the cane and jab it into our chests). When we walk with a cane, the tip is always aligned to the opposite foot, ACROSS the body diagonally for bodily protection. We then step forward and swipe the cane to the opposite side, along the ground to accurately read the ground a few steps ahead. Tapping the cane actually can remove some of our perception of the land, but we do it for you normies, so you don’t stop dead in front of us and get your ankles bruised by a titanium rod.
7. We obey traffic patterns.
We learn these. And even if we don’t, you aren’t helping us by holding up traffic and honking at us to go ahead and cross. Actually you’re annoying us.
8. Only a small number of visually impaired people are actually COMPLETELY blind.
We are taught to optimize our sight for US. NOT YOU. So if you see a person with a cane who looks completely normal and doesn’t wear sunglasses? Guess what? They’re still partially sighted/legally blind. They’re not less deserving of attention. We wear sunglasses if our eyes are sensitive to sunlight - “photophobia”- like mine. Or we wear them to prevent the embarrassment of the wandering eye. Don’t judge a person’s capability by how they use their cane or their their eyes. Some legally blind people are only blind at night, some at day, some are blind in certain lighting conditions, some can still read with assistance and some can’t visually read at all. There is no uniformity and we optimize for us, not you. You don’t matter. So please don’t do the thing that woman on my flight to LA did and whisper to your friend that you saw me reading my (magnified and adaptive tech phone) and that you’re sure I am only playing blind to get priority boarding. Go fuck yourself with that bullshit.
9. Don’t point.
It really amazes me how many times I’ve said “what’s this?” Or “where’s that?” Only to have someone point. The fuck is wrong with you?
10. Don’t you ever dare touch a service dog unless you believe there is an immediate risk of danger.
11. Proper auditory cues.
You can’t say “it’s at 1 o'clock” for everyone, because guess what guys…not all blind people have seen clock faces! What?! OMG you’re kidding!. Instead give distances in steps, give direction in angles, give directions via landmarks not street signs. I remember one time, my friend Kirsten was asking what a person looked like, and someone said to her, “Well, they’re blond and have a heart shaped face” She said “What’s a heart shape like? And blond is yellow right? That the color of a lemon, right?”
The wrong way: “Oh it’s on Barrett street, about one hundred feet from here, at three o'clock.”
The right way: it’s about fifty paces at a right forty five degree angle from the direction you’re facing, beside a giant open park surrounded by a large metal fence. They may not be able to see the thing, but they can locate things with canes and hands, and get a feel via sound. If you know ground landmarks, like changes in paving, those are also helpful.
12. DONT HAND BLIND PEOPLE A WAD OF CHANGE, you assholes.
Hand them the change first and allow them to put it away, which they do by feel. Then hand them the bills sequentially by denominations so that they can fold and stow these bills in the way that helps them keep track of denominations. THEN hand off the receipt.
13. Don’t ask how they lost their vision.
Don’t be that guy. EVERY GUY. Jesus Christ. Some people are still dealing with the trauma from whatever it is that cost them their sight. I’m not, but I get tired of explaining it to every single fucking person I meet. Don’t say that line “Do you mind if I ask if you were born this way?” It’s none of your business. Stop treating the person like their limitation IS them. You should be helping them through their limitation so that you can GET TO THEM, and get to know the person behind it.
14. If you see a blind person traveling alone at night, and you notice someone watching or casing them, it’s okay to approach the blind person and say “I think you might be in danger. How may I help you?” And then explain the issue.
I have been followed, cased, and tracked. I realized it was happening and prevented it, with some hilarious results, but it happens. Which is why it’s ok for you to be protective of a person, it’s just not ok to be all up in their business.
15. Some blind people wear headphones or earplugs.
These aren’t a “stupid idea”. They’re actually there as a visual aid. What? Well blind people often have very sensitive hearing. Especially to high or low pitch. Many will wear earplugs or headphones to dampen or heighten certain sound values as a visual aid. I personally carry a pair with me everywhere. If I’m on a bus or train, the headphones dampen treble or higher decibels. If I’m in a noisy place like a bar or club, the plugs soften the noise, almost like wearing sunglasses in bright sun.
16. Don’t ask for Braille tutorials.
Not all of us read it. It takes a long time to learn and it’s almost entirely self taught. So if you want to learn, buy a card and get to work.
17. We memorize.
We know the layouts of rooms as instinct. Which means if I walk into a hotel, I am instantly without even thinking about it, running my hands over things, finding switches, marking strides, counting to myself, running my fingers over edges and so forth. This is how I see. So DONT MOVE SHIT. And DONT LEAVE YOUR FUCKING STUFF IN MY PATH.
18. Ray Charles was blind. Not all blind people are Ray Charles.
Stop assuming we all play music. Stop assuming that we all experience things in the same way.
19. Blind people have insomnia.
It comes from not being able to differentiate light from dark. It throws off our circadian rhythm. Meaning it can often interfere with our job, and also that we tend to become creatures of habit in order to avoid difficulty. Don’t break our habits, it throws us off.
20. Give yourself some sensitivity training.
If someone in your family or circle is blind…heck if you’re just a nice person, spend a few hours trying to do everyday tasks with your eyes shut, or put on a pair of fucked up sunglasses, or just give it a shot as you’re at work. See how long you can go before the urge to open your eyes is so powerful and overwhelming that you have to…and then imagine you don’t have a choice. That’s how it feels, every day. In every task. Be patient and kind.
There’s probably a lot more I’m forgetting. Maybe some of my blind peeps can add in?
a concept: neil josten becoming obsessed with sunglasses so all the foxes buy him a pair whenever they’re out. they range from black aviators from allison to bright pink gas station sunglasses from nicky. andrew thinks the whole thing is stupid until one day he finds a pair with little cat designs on the frames. when he comes home and tosses them at neil with a muttered “230%”, neil smiles and adds them to his collection. they are also not so secretly his favorite pair.