I’m in a shit mood so I’m writing shit things about something I’ve been thinking about. Because I’m shit.
“She stapled her finger? Like this?” The girl moved the stapler as if to staple her finger, a devilish smile on her features.
The boy with the brown hair and a cheery smile grabbed her hand, stopping the stapler from closing with his finger.
“I wasn’t going to.” She grinned, though something made her cheekiness fade. He’d cared.
There were a few moments of awkward silence before the pair went back to stapling the newsletters together for their classmates to take home later that day.
Small glances between them, little smiles.
And the next week when they were on the playground and she’d run away after another boy had grabbed her too hard and ripped the hem of her school dress, the boy with the smile had run after her, telling her to wait, he’d fix it.
And she’d smiled at him and told him she was okay. But he took her by the wrist and led her to the classroom, picking up the stapler and bending down on one knee to staple the hem back up.
It was then that she’d felt like crying, felt like pulling him into a hug and telling him how much she liked him.
But instead all there was was a small smile and thank you, a grin in return and an “Anytime.”
The next year was their last at primary and the dark clouds of Intermediate school loomed over them, threatening to drench their happy lives of water fights and grass stains at any moment.
She was going to a different school, with only four others from her primary but he wasn’t among them.
They had been put at the same table of desks for most of the year, her sitting by him.
He was the only one in the class who wrote stories which didn’t bore her and he was the one who asked her if she was okay when she left her best friend in frustration when two other girls in the class pushed her away.
He sat and talked to her, about Doctor Who, England and things that primary school kids talked about.
When the year ended, with games of dodgeball and water fights and silly videos, they barely said goodbye. But he gave her a Christmas card, and she gave him one as that was the custom. There was more awkward smiling, and he told her he liked her eyes and she said she liked his smile.
And through the two years of Intermediate school, she didn’t think about him much. She was closer to her best friend than ever, and she’d made new friends too.
Those years past quickly and then she was thrown into the whirlwind of College. She coped well, because that’s who she was.
She got facebook and the boy with the grin sent her a friend request, he ‘liked’ her profile picture and she ‘liked’ his. She tried not to look at his page as it just made her sad, he was at a school with all her primary friends.
She heard his name mentioned once by a boy in one of her classes and that made her hands shake and her face turn pink. She wondered if the boy had changed, if he’d still be the same happy, boy who always knew how to make her smile.
And so another couple of years passed. She deleted her Facebook, then made it again a year later, suddenly too shy to send the boy a friend request. As time passed it became harder.
The girl didn’t see the boy again until she least expected it. Sixteen and with her friends, one of which she really, really liked. They were talking about Marvel, after she’d shown him her earrings.
In a line at the local Comic Convention, her wearing a Marvel jumper, she saw out of the corner of her eye a bright red shirt but she thought nothing of it except it was a nice red.
It was then that her best friend whispered that he was here. She froze, whispering “Where?” under her breath.
Directed it the right direction, she turned to see him.
A big grin on his features, he seemed taller, but six or so years will do that. He’d also lost weight but his hair looked the same.
He was trying a video game with his friends, laughing. His gaze seemed to lock onto her and his grin suddenly faltered, she felt her heart beat faster, worried that she’d ruined his day.
But then he smiled, a small, shy smile before turning away upon noticing she was looking at him. She looked down, knowing that they were different now.
Her friends pushed her up the line and she pulled her attention back to them.
But all day, her heart rate sped up when she saw a flash of red, a happy smile or a mop of brown hair.
Matt is a great cook and always snuck in his homemade meals for Jess whilst she’s in the hospital because she really didn’t like hospital meals.
Matt is very aware of Jess’ agoraphobia so he always keeps an eye out for her - stealing the corner seats on the bus, holding her hand when they go out, always has water and an iPod in his bag and always looking out for somewhere small and quiet in case Jess has a panic attack.
Jess hums/sings quietly sometimes when she thinks Matt is asleep. Sometimes Matt pretends to sleep for a little longer just to hear her sing.
Matt and Em had lots of fights during the time Jess was still in the hospital, and they eventually went their separate ways. But not before Matt could convince Em to come in one day to see her ex-friend at least one more time. Seeing Jess that way made Em feel bad about how she treated her, they made up and became friends again.
Em respected Matt’s decision to stay with Jess, and Mike eventually did too. Em and Mike came in to see them regularly, sometimes together.
Jess wasn’t allowed make up in the hospital, but she loved doing make up - it felt therapeutic to her. So Matt let her put make up on him. (Needless to say, he looked fabulous and most definitely did post pictures to his and Jess’ instagram)
Matt orders Starbucks for Jess, so just imagine this tall, built football player ordering a pumpkin spiced latte with whipped cream and cinnamon sprinkles with a straight face.
There were a few times when Jess was having a panic attack in her hospital room and the doctors/nurses won’t let Matt in to help her and he’d get a little violent and very frustrated. But the sound of Matt’s voice just outside of the corridor alone would make Jess feel easier.
Jess loved summers, but was too self-conscious to wear short sleeves and bikinis. Matt would often walk around topless or wearing something very eye-catching (bright shirts, speedos, crocs) anything for him to be catching the attention instead. It also made Jess laugh.
During a very bad winter, Matt bought Jess plane tickets to Australia and they spent a month there to escape the cold.
Matt and Jess goes on double dates with Chris and Ashley (as Matt and Ashley are pretty good friends). They’d go to theme parks, drive in theatres, picnics, etc. Ashley’s gentle nature made her easy to talk to for Jess, and Matt enjoyed the nice casual conversations he has with Chris.
Although Matt isn’t horrible academically, he’s still very sports-orientated. When Jess was hospitalised, he did extra reading, contacted lecturers and went to study support sessions to take more notes to bring back to Jess. He’d read to her from the textbooks and recite the lectures. Jess didn’t like the subjects, but hearing him read was very calming to her.
Listening to Matt drone on about school work was one of the few things that gets her straight to bed, so Matt uses this to his advantage when Jess is suffering from those sleepless nights.
Probably won’t ever top this for the largest thing I’ve designed. Advert for Bright Eyes’ sold out seven night run at Town Hall in NYC. A few of us took a trip out there to check out a couple of shows. There were special guests playing before (and occasionally along side) Bright Eyes that were different every night. Lou Reed was one night, and Gillian Welch & David Rawlings were the next. Gillian and David fucking killed it, of course. You should check them out. Lou Reed was kind of weird, but I never really got him (sorry). My friend CJ who works at Saddle Creek is a big Velvet Underground fan, and he was noticeably less moribund than usual when he got to see Lou play. Anyway, I never knew how these huge murals were made, and was surprised to see guys up there on scaffolds hand painting this. I was impressed and appreciative, it was a unique experience to see. We got to hang out with Kaite Murphy, who lives in NYC and works in the fashion industry. She did the lino cuts and letter press elements for “Lifted, or the Story is in the Soil”, and a couple of the best Bright Eyes t-shirts (snake and bats).
It was really quite a complicated set with cameras and lighting and various members of various crews constantly shouting to get what they need. The chaos was not what you would expect from a big budget film like The Winter Soldier, but you became accustomed to it. Besides, you weren’t really that involved, you were a costume designer, your work was already done. All you had to do on a day-to-day basis was repair the odd costume here and there and sit dreaming about Sebastian Stan.
There were those few golden moments where you got to speak to him, and you always begged for that day that his costume ripped, or he required an extra feature which meant you got to talk to him. And today, you were going to hit the jackpot.
He was on set with Chris Evans, performing some sort of fight scene, either way it was very physical, and he twisted slightly too violently for the tight leather, ripping it the whole way down the side, exposing his torso. The director called cut and you and Sebastian went back to your trailer to fix the costume. He walked in, slightly banging his head on the door in his adorable clumsy manner. “Nice place you got,” he said looking around. You took a deep breath in and couldn’t help but stare at him. He looked at you in the silence and your mouth curled into a slight smile, which surprisingly was returned by him. “You’re going to need me to take my top off, aren’t you…” he said looking at the rip down the side of the costume. “Um…” you were stunned. You were going to try and sew it up while he was still wearing it, but now he had offered you weren’t going to turn him down. “Yeah, I mean, if you wouldn’t mind.” You could feel your blatant shyness and couldn’t help but blush. You looked up at him expecting an odd look, but instead he just smiled, making eye contact with his pale, bright eyes and pulling his shirt over his head. His muscular body was exposed, coated with a thin layer of sweat. “Sorry, it was a bit hot in there.” He said pulling a face, while handing you the shirt. You quickly sat down at your desk and grabbed a needle and thread, desperately trying to hide your attraction to him.
He didn’t exactly help, he continued the conversation, asking about your job and whether you enjoy it on the set. He was wandering around your trailer, occasionally pausing behind you, resting his arms on your shoulders, meaning you could feel his bare chest against the back of your neck and back. You were purposely taking a long time but eventually you had to be finished. You sighed and handed it back to him, feeling sad that he was going to have to leave. He took it, pausing for a moment on your hand before looking at the ground and pulling it over his head.
“Well, thanks for sorting me out I guess…” he said slowly, before pulling you in and kissing you on the cheek politely. “I guess, I’ll see you around…” he made a move towards the door. Just before he opened it he paused and turned. Without saying a word he strode up to you, wrapped his arms around you and kissed you. Properly this time, not just on the cheek. It took you a moment to register what was going on, but, of course, you kissed back.
After a few seconds of warmth he broke away. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” he said grinning at you and holding you. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to do that,” you said, raising your eyebrows before grinning at him and pulling him in for another kiss.