The greatest trick GRRM ever pulled was using a single act in the beginning of book one to convince the reader that Jaime Lannister, the biggest procrastinator this side of Rhaegar Targaryen, is impulsive. 

Even defenestrating Bran isn’t truly impulsive. A quick decision, sure, but an impulsive act is one that is performed in a moment when it could’ve been delayed until further consideration could be given. So, a bad choice? Sure. But it isn’t like he could’ve put off killing the kid until later on. 

Same with everything else he does. Going back for Brienne? A considered choice performed within the available time limit. Leaping into the bear pit? Same. 

This is a man who spent fifteen years knowing Robert was abusive, yet did nothing to stop him. True, Cersei asked him not to…but wouldn’t an impulsive man have done it anyway? Sometime over those fifteen years? A man who even as a teenage boy waited well over a year, until the last second, to kill Aerys…and even changed clothes to do it. A man who waited until the last possible second to bust Tyrion out. A man who hangs around King’s Landing pretty much watching the Kettleblacks humping Cersei’s leg and does nothing. Who finally gets Lancel, the “other man,” alone, and instead of attacking him listens and counsels and tries to get him to eat something and encourages him to get out there and live his life. 

Now Cersei? She is impulsive. Falyse and Mr Falyse, go kill Bronn for me. Oh no, Qyburn, here’s Falyse for your vivisection needs. Oh hey Qyburn send Falyse back I have use for her. This pattern - decisions made in the moment based upon whims that she forgets she even made at all and then when the whim turns out to have been a massive fuckup she covers up with even more impulsive bad moves - repeats for her. But Jaime is not this way. This is yet another of the million ways Jaime and Cersei - who are truly nothing alike - differ. 

The only truly impulsive act I can remember seeing from Jaime Lannister? That one time he busted Red Ronnet Connington upside the head for trash talking Brienne. The Golden Bitchslap was performed without thought or planning and did not have to happen.

But other than that? Nah. This man is not impulsive. And to be fair, though he waits until the last second, unlike Rhaegar, he does know when the last second is. 

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“Most have been forgotten. Most deserve to be forgotten. The heroes will always be remembered. The best. The best and the worst. And a few who were a bit of both.”  — A Storm of Swords

» requested by @kingrobb​ // tumblr awards prize

anonymous asked:

Love reading your headcanons! :) What's your favorite headcanons for how Jaime and Brienne's first time might go down? Setting/their reactions/how they will be like with each other... I want all the details!

Haha, I have a lot of fun writing them up, too. ;)

Aw naw, anon, don’t make me choose between my headcanons! I love them all equally! ;) So since I cannot possibly choose…

In Jaime-voice: We don’t get to choose what headcanon we love…

… I will give some detailed scenarios (books and show alike), though I say here beforehand that Wacky is no smut-writer (I have no talent in that department):

I am still all up for armor sex *chink* *chink* *chink*, a messy clashing of mouths and they try to kiss each other properly, but armor complications until they *rid* themselves of those constraints, LOL.

Now in all sincerity, the first time’s gonna be awkward and hesitant, the way I imagine. For Brienne, it will most definitely be the first time, for Jaime it will be a strange sort of first time likewise, because it won’t be like the sex he’s used to before, where he has to steal away, where it’s only the act and then disappear again, etc., and with the woman he *chose* instead of the woman he always felt he had to love no matter what.

I also imagine that Jaime will want to make it *different* from the way he and Cersei had their first time, because back then he didn’t care about consequences/ ignored them (including consequences for himself as well as Cersei). With Brienne, we have already seen that he is *aware* what her status as a maiden means on a social and political level, and sees something protection-worthy in it. He’s protected that status when they were with the Brave Companions and they meant to rape her (aside from simply protecting Brienne from rape, obviously). So I do think he will come to care about consequences now, having realized that this was *not* good for Cersei or for him, for the matter, and knowing what the *loss* of virginity means in the social spectrum they operate within (because in this society, it is a status sign for women when it comes to the marriage market and a woman will be judged differently if she isn’t a maiden before the wedding night).

That leaves me to imagine that he will mean to wed Brienne before they get down to business or at least that this will be discussed prior to the first time, however awkward and tension-filled such a conversation would be. 

Hand in hand with that idea goes the thought that there will be a period of time where they will feel driven to do it, but will restrain themselves. You know, awkward glances, hands brushing against each other but then drawing away, hesitant kisses, that kind of jam. 

In which case I can again see two alternatives, one being that it will *overcome* them at some point and we get an almost angry marching off to a Septon or other priest “to wed so they can finally bed”. And Jaime just pulls Brienne away once it is done to get down to business as desire overtakes them both to the point that it’s simply unbearable. The other being really that they do things right, if in private and it’s really almost like two teens stuck in adult bodies having their shared first time, uncertain of how to move, what to say, what to do, having to learn/re-learn (in case of Jaime) how this is done, having to get to know each other on a completely new level.

With that also goes the idea of insecurities. I can fully imagine that being true for both Jaime and Brienne. For Brienne, that seems rather straightforward in that she has complexes about her looks. This can go all the way from her wanting to know all candles out or not looking at him or trying to cover up her body in a futile attempt to cover herself up and hide from him, and since that is my kind of jam, Jaime, in that alternative, would pull the covers away and tell her to look at him or whatever else. She may be no beauty to look at, but Jaime’s found something to admire about her and her *body* before, so that is what he can easily say, and e.g. compliment her on her eyes and that he doesn’t want her to hide from him (because he’s done hiding). At the same time, I can also imagine that Jaime may feel uncertain because of his hand/stump. For matters of shippery shipper feels, I’d tend in the direction that he would mean to take the hand off because it was a gift from Cersei (in the show) and hence it’d be also the symbolic act that it’s just the two of them. If she grabs or kisses the stump, I’ll be done forever and simply die a happy shipper-death yo. Or really, it’s a combination of both in that either one has that moment of hesitance in-between and they help each other through it by accepting each other’s *flaws*.

I can also imagine both of them cracking up laughing at some point, realizing just how awkward and tensed they make this when there is apparently no need.

Just like I can imagine the much more dramatic circumstances of them marrying only short before all hell breaks loose with the WW, and the two decide that if they are to die the day they fight, they want to die as husband and wife, and so they get wed and have the first time. And yeah, I can also imagine baby ex machina right at this point and all that, but that’s another matter. It would be desperately holding on to each other in the face of apocalypse, somewhere up North, the night before all of this could be over, furs all around.

*spoiler* inside that headcanon both still survive yo. I am happiness trash and so I have my headcanons mostly set on JB Happniess Forever Ever After and all that stuff. I am cheap like that.

Inside my mind, no matter what (and no matter books or show), it will be gentle and hesitant. Because I don’t want to imagine rough sex for the first time. I am fine with eventual *hot* sex and *hot* make-out session before that (let’s be real, I am craving this!), but I’d find that closest to where I see Brienne and Jaime when around each other.

Especially in show-terms, it’d be nice for a change to have a woman *lose* her virginity (sorry, I just find that wording so funny, like “where did it go?!”) without rough sex or rape. I’d genuinely find it such a great thing to have this idea carried out till the end that we see there two *grown* characters (and not so much (though I see correlations) the Robb-Talisa thing allover, between two *supposed* young adults/teenagers (in the books)) experiencing the first-time-insecurities and angst that comes along with it.

In book-terms, it remains the same with hesitance and gentleness. I don’t know if we will get the first time *on-screen*, really, might be, but I just don’t know. *waves fist in the air* Where is Winds, George, where is it?!

What belongs to the headcanons I have for the books (though it may still become part of my show-headcanons likewise, depending on where the show takes us) is that he touches her scars, specifically the one she got from Biter. Just like it also belongs there that she may touch his stump. It’s just that I would find that so very symbolic of how the two see each other as true, and appreciate and love each other as true that I gotta roll with that. Both are so used to hiding those things, and put them behind walls “ higher than Winterfell’s”, that I would find it just about right to see there two characters appreciating and loving each other no matter the looks, no matter the scars, or perhaps *because* of those scars - because they suffered those scars *also* for each other for a great deal.

I obviously always hope for some Jaime-inherent snark once it’s over, or at least a comment and Brienne nudging him in the side, being flustered or whatever else. I’d find it oh so joyful that in the afterglow, we see them loosely entangled and he makes comments and so, only to then have that moment when he looks up, frowning to himself, realizing that he can stay, that he doesn’t have to go, and that Brienne also *wants* him to stay. The same way Brienne would have to see that this man loves her an wants to keep her company, that this is *more* than just the act, and speaking book-terms another time, that Septa Fuck You Roelle was wrong about it all the while that no man would ever truly love her or be interested in her - just like I’d love that moment for her when she realize that the first time is not as bad as the Septa liked to paint it to make her afraid of it. Simply that there is this moment when both realize something about themselves, that this is what they *wanted* for much longer than they were ever aware of. 

So, to sum up the essence of all of my headcanons is that I imagine it at every step to be more cautious, hesitant, and insecure, but also gentle and filled with care. That both commit to this, aware of the consequences and aware of their mutual feelings for each other. That the first time for them is really a turning point in getting to know each other on a completely new level, on a level that no one got to know the other yet. Specifically Jaime would gain a private, secret knowledge of her that no one else would have up to this point. That they find solace, strength, and confidence in each other’s arms. But that they also find not only each other but themselves in each other’s arms.