brie is the god of cheese

elements1999  asked:

"You can trust me." - DJNoir (reveal?)

::Cackles in glee:: Yeeeeeessssssss Ninoir! 


“Come on this way,” Nino shouted grabbing the frantic looking boy by the hand and practically dragging him towards a small storage closet across from the library. They ran, both conscious of the high pitched beeps signaling the final minute. 

Nino through open the door to the closet and Chat Noir dove inside, slamming the door behind him just as a flash of brilliant green light burst out from the crack at the bottom of the door. 

Nino slumped to the floor, his back pressed against the closet door and his breathing heavy. That had been close. 

“You ok in their dude?” he asked between gasps. 

“Yeah, thanks,” came the nervous reply from the other side of the door. The voice sounded softer somehow. Probably a result of the lack of transformation. 

“Don’t worry, I promise I won’t try to look or anything,” Nino said, “you can trust me.” 

“I know,” Chat Noir replied. Nino flushed with pleasure at the indisputable certainty in the heroes voice. 

“Can I get you anything? Some water maybe,” he asked, tilting his head towards the door even though there was no way his companion could possibly see him. 

“Get me some cheese,” a different voice whined. 

“Plagg stop being a glutton for two seconds will you?” 

“But I’m hungry!” 

“Who is that?” Nino called curiously through the door. 

“Oh… it’s… well it’s Plagg. He’s my kwami. It’s sort of a long story.” 

“Is he like your superhero sidekick?” Nino asked excitedly. 

“Sidekick?! I am an immortal demi-god I am no one’s sidekick,” the high pitched voice shot back at him, “without me there would be no Chat Noir. If anything the kid is my sidekick.” 

“Oh,” Nino replied soaking up the information. Alya was going to be so jealous. 

“Now bring me some cheese, puny mortal, before I perish from starvation! preferably some well aged Camembert.” 

“Plagg!” the boy who was Chat Noir groaned, clearly embarrassed by the demi-gods demanding attitude. 

Nino couldn’t help but smile. How cool was this guy that he could be so chill towards an immortal being that grants you super powers? 

“It’s too bad my boy Adrien isn’t here,” he laughed as he pulled out his bag and began rummaging through it, “I swear he is obsessed with that stuff.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice,” the strange creature replied with a sly tone, “I bet your friend wouldn’t be stupid enough to leave all of his delicious camembert locked away in his bookbag instead of carrying it around in his pocket where it belongs.” 

“Plagg I swear to God-” Chat Noir growled, and Nino couldn’t hold back a small choked laugh. 

“Hey,” he cried triumphantly pulling out a small snack bag his mother had once again snuck into his satchel, “it’s not camembert, but I do have some Brie and-” 

Before he could finish the sentence a small black blur shot out through the door and landed on his knee. 

“Hand it over kiddo!” the tiny catlike creature purred, tail twitching in anticipation. 

Wordlessly Nino held out the small container full of grapes, crackers, and of course the coveted cheese. 

“So,” Nino called to Chat Noir as he watched the little god happily nibble on his treat, “does this happen often?” 

“Does what happen often?” he called back. 

“Getting stranded without your powers?” 

“Sadly more often than I would like,” he admitted, “its pretty rare that I am not the first one to use my powers but I can’t exactly just ditch My Lady in the middle of a battle. It’s a bit rough but I’ll take a few close calls if it means I keep the people I care about safe.” 

Nino grinned again. God this guy was cool. 

He wondered if anyone had ever given much thought to this particular dilemma Chat Noir faced. So much attention was given to Ladybug because of her amazing powers. Not that he thought she didn’t deserve the attention, but Nino had always felt that a lot of his friends undervalued how important Chat Noir was to the dynamic duo. Where others saw weakness- namely Chloe and Kim- he saw sacrifice. After all, how disastrous would it be if Ladybug ever fell under the influence of an akuma? Nino spent enough time hero chasing with Alya to know that most of hits Chat took were for the sake of his partner. Perhaps it was his devil may care attitude, or perhaps it was that unspoken knowledge that his powers were actually pretty terrifying, but not a lot of people seemed to give Chat Noir the kind of appreciation he deserved.

“You know,” Nino said careful, “no offence to Ladybug, but you’re my favorite.” 

“Really?” he replied sounding more than a little awed. 

“Yeah. I mean it’s a lot easier to be the hero when you get all the praise and the cool finishing move. It’s a lot harder to be the person who’s job it is to soak up the damage, you know?” 

“Thanks. I… it’s really nice to hear you say that.” 

“How old are you anyways? I mean if I’m allowed to ask.” 

“I just turned 16.” 

“Dude! You’re my age, that’s crazy!” Nino said with a chuckle. “How do you do it? How can you stand going out there every day knowing that any second you could be fighting another monster? Doesn’t it get exhausting?” 

“Sometimes. But it’s worth it. If it means I am protecting people like you, it will always be worth it.” 

Nino felt his cheeks go scarlet. “Wow man… thanks.” 

“I mean it,” Chat Noir said, his voice barely audible through the door, “you help make this fight worth fighting. You are brave and loyal, and don’t need superpowers to be one of the most heroic people I’ve ever met.” 

Nino’s breath caught. “I… jeez… what am I supposed to say to that?” he joked weakly, “Chat Noir is calling me a hero.” 

He heard a small scoffing sound from the little being still perched on his leg gobbling up the last of the cheese. “You’re little blogger friend was right. You two really are one of those obnoxious lovey-dovey couples.”

“What?” 

“Plagg!” 

“How did you- she was talking about-” 

“I swear to God Plagg, you are not getting another bite of camembert for the rest of the month.” 

“ADRIEN???” 


Interlude (When Duty and Desire Meet)

She didn’t realize that something was off at first.

When Marinette first woke up, it was in a familiar haze of warmth and comfort. The skylight above her was propped open and she could hear the bustle of the city - the hum of traffic and calls of pedestrians - slipping in with the late summer breeze. Her eyes slitted open momentarily before sliding shut to more fully appreciate the softness of her pillow and the warmth of her blankets, rolling her ankles and stretching her toes as she always did first thing.

Then her foot touched something that wasn’t her sheet, and her eyes flew wide as she was suddenly, all at once, very, very awake. Marinette jerked in an effort to quell the reflexive flailing as the arm draped over her waist shifted, tightening briefly as the person behind her grunted in sleepy annoyance at the foot colliding with his shin.

Chat. Chat was behind her and oh God that wasn’t leather her heel had hit! Marinette froze, trying to relax as Chat yawned, burying his face against her back before he stilled. Marinette licked her lips, tentatively reaching back with her foot… just in case.

Nope, not leather. Thick fabric that she recognized as terry fleece was bunched up around his shin - he must have been wearing lounge pants before he’d come to her house last night. Her toes slipped down, sliding over smooth hairs and ridiculously soft skin, traced over the arch of Chat’s foot before coming into contact with individual toes that twitched at her touch.

Yep, Marinette thought hysterically, trying not to squeak, definitely not leather. Oh god oh god oh god ohhhh buddy-

It wasn’t like they’d planned on Chat staying the night. But she’d already been heading to bed when he appeared, and she hadn’t seen him - as Marinette or as Ladybug - in weeks. He’d been out of town “on work”, and had just gotten back. Since he’d had nothing scheduled for the next day, he’d wanted to come over to say hello before he went to bed.

“Time shifts are always a pain.” He smiled ruefully. “I’ll likely be awake until four or so, thinking it’s noon. So I figured I’d just come say hello to you first - if you were awake, that is! I wouldn’t have woken you up or anything if you had already been asleep. But, since, you know, your light was on and all…”

Marinette laughed. “Come on in, Kitty. I was just heading to bed, but I guess I can stay up a little later to chat with you.”

He’d been so pale he was nearly gray. Clearly, whatever “work” he’d had to do over the summer was wearing him out, and the two weeks out of the country hadn’t helped matters much.

She should have sent him home - even with the suit on, she could see he needed rest. But she’d missed him, so she had been selfish, letting him slide in the window and snuggle with her on the bed, trading kisses and cuddles as they talked. At some point he’d tugged the throw at the end of the bed up around her hips, and she only half-remembered the gesture as she’d discussed summer classes and the latest shenanigans of the gaming club on campus.

Clearly, sometime between then and now, they’d fallen asleep. The only saving grace was that she’d rolled over to face away from him, or her super cat would be down one secret identity.

Not that she didn’t want to know. Temptation gnawed at her for a brief second before she shoved it away as unfair - it wouldn’t be right, to take that from him, when she was still being so dishonest herself. So Marinette forced herself to relax, savoring the warmth of his body as it pressed against her back and the weight of his arm as it curled over her ribs to rest against her stomach. His breath puffed slowly and evenly against the nape of her neck, and Marinette wondered if he was naturally a deep sleeper or if he’d just been that worn out?

She rather suspected the latter. Sighing, Marinette lifted his arm, bringing his hand up briefly to kiss his bare knuckles before she slid out from under it, letting it settle behind her and carefully not looking as she made her way down the stairs.

Tucked up on a shelf, behind her hand-sewn plushie collection, Tikki lay nestled in a shoebox, buried in a thick scarf and curled around a black shape that was snoring gently. Marinette tapped the side of the box.

“Tikki!” She whispered. Big blue eyes blinked up at her a second before the black shape stretched out, resolving into a small black cat with acid green eyes that regarded her balefully.

“Morning, Marinette.” Tikki yawned. “How did you sleep?”

“Oh, you know, pretty good, except for there’s a random guy in my bed.” Marinette hissed, trying for nonchalance as she shrugged. “I see you have a visitor, too.”

“Yes. This is Plagg.” Tikki nodded, and Marinette wasn’t sure if she was oblivious to or disregarding the gravity of the situation.

“Morning, Princess.” Plagg’s tiny white fangs winked at her as he grinned widely. “Sleep well?”

“Yes.” Marinette eyed him. “But you left something in my bed.”

“A gift.” The little cat smirked. “Unless you’d rather have a beheaded mouse or a dead bird?”

Marinette glared.

“Yeah, look, I can’t hold a transformation all night.” Plagg dropped the smirk and glared back.

“So why didn’t you wake him up? You know that isn’t what he wanted!” Marinette scolded.

“It wouldn’t have done any good - I would still have needed to recharge to transform, and he didn’t have it.” Plagg argued. “I wasn’t going to wake him up so he could freak out and break his neck trying to scale down your walls at three in the morning.”

“And what do you need to recharge?” Marinette asked patiently, hoping it wasn’t something exotic like pickled chilis or monkey brains, else they’d be in the same situation regardless.

“Cheese. Camembert, if you have it.” Plagg replied promptly.

Marinette blinked. “That’s it? Tikki could have helped you get that last night. I could have gotten that for you last night. Come on.”

Luckily, her parents were in the bakery, so Marinette didn’t have to explain the second kwami following her around.

“No camembert,” Marinette muttered as she looked in the refrigerator. “But we have brie, cheddar and muenster.”

Behind her, Plagg gave a long-suffering sigh. “Fine. Brie, then.”

Marinette cut out a few wedges, setting them on a plate in front of the tiny god while Tikki rummaged around for her usual cookies.

“So,” She continued, “why didn’t you just wake Tikki or I up last night? Chat is going to be really upset when he realizes he slept all night here and lost his transformation to boot. Even if you didn’t want me to wake up, Tikki knows where everything is - she could have gotten you this last night and Chat could have escaped with no issues.”

Plagg paused, chewing his cheese as he regarded her solemnly. “Because you two need to cut this shit out. I really can’t hold a transformation all night, and if you two had woken up and seen each other, it would have solved half of the problem.”

Marinette scrubbed at her face before turning to hunt up a coffee cup. “That doesn’t make it right, Plagg.”

“Little girl, I am the avatar of bad luck. I don’t care about right.” Plagg sniffed.

“Stop being difficult, Plagg.” Tikki scolded. Sighing, she turned to Marinette. “Plagg won’t say it, but I will: Chat really needed the rest, too.”

Marinette paused, mug halfway to her lips as her gaze sung back to Plagg, who busied himself rearranging his cheese wedges.

“Yeah, well, little brat has been working too hard.” Plagg grumbled. “If he doesn’t relax and get some rest, he’s gonna keel over again. I don’t want to have to train a new wielder ‘cause this idiot worked himself into an early grave trying to please that asshat.”

Marinette’s eyes narrowed as she sorted through his words. “Keel over again?

Plagg looked at her and deliberately stuffed a chunk of cheese into his mouth.

“Oh, no. No no no.” Marinette glared. “That’s not going to fly - what is going on with my Kitty?”

“Can’t tell you.” Plagg snapped. “But if you’d have just, oh, I don’t know, rolled over, you’d probably have figured it out on your own.”

“Well, pardon me for respecting my partner too much for that!” Marinette snarled right back. “But you can’t just drop bombs like that and not expect me to-”

“Okay you two, that’s enough.” Tikki dropped her cookie and floated up between them. “Both of you care about Chat. Let’s just accept that as a fact, alright?”

Marinette nodded tightly, and Plagg grumbled around a chunk of cheese. Whether that was actual assent or not, Tikki took it as such and continued.

“What Plagg is trying to say, Marinette, is that Chat relaxes more when he’s around you. Even if he’s not sleeping, he is resting. And he needs that, whether he’ll admit it or not.”

Marinette whined. “But you said ‘keel over again.’ Like it happened before.”

“It has.” Plagg bit out. “Kid is nothing but a giant wad of work, stress, and anxiety. Even his ‘relaxation’ is scheduled.”

Marinette worried her lip. Chat had never struck her as being that uptight. “But why? He’s never seemed like… like that much of an A-type, you know? I mean, maybe a little tightly wound, but not someone who would work himself into the ground voluntarily.”

Having run out of cheese, Plagg settled for simply staring at her.

“So this is something that isn’t necessarily him, then.” Marinette hummed, piecing things together as she sipped her coffee. “And you wanted to force a reveal?”

“This has been going on too long.” Tikki pointed out.

“I know.” Marinette’s gaze dropped to study the linoleum, abashed. “But this wasn’t the right way, either.”

“True.” Tikki nodded. “But it was done with good intentions.”

“Right.” Marinette sighed. “Well, what’s done is done. Let’s just get you back upstairs and not give poor Chat a panic attack, okay?”

Adrien was about five seconds from a full-blown panic attack. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but he hadn’t seen Marinette more than a few times over the summer, and he’d desperately wanted to visit her when he’d finally crawled off of the plane last night.

His summer had been busy. Granted, he’d still have to miss school for the Paris fashion weeks in January (and wouldn’t starving himself to fit the men’s line be a treat?), but he’d be allowed to give the New York shows in November and Milan ones in February a miss before gearing up for Paris in July. But his father had taken advantage of the break between semesters, and his relatively light summer course load, to have Nathalie schedule him for a mass of shoots and fittings that he wouldn’t be able to do once the heavier fall courses started back up.

But as relatively pampered as his globe-trotting lifestyle was, Adrien was still working on his doctoral thesis, and taking online summer courses for his secondary degree in business. Even getting to the Gaming Club (which did run through the summer, despite the lower attendance) was a challenge: he only managed it about twice a month. His patrol runs with Ladybug had been cut down by about half, and still he was only able to visit Marinette about once a week while he was in town. And even if that amounted to twice a week between Adrien and Chat, it wasn’t enough.

So when he’d landed back in Paris after two weeks in New Zealand shooting winter looks, he’d been exhausted and desperate for honest affection, instead of the catty model behavior and suck-ups looking to snag the boss’ son. And instead of going to bed as he should have done, Adrien had ignored his cold sheets and his too-large room and climbed in Marinette’s window to let her soothing chatter and warm embraces comfort him.

And had apparently crashed harder than the meteorites he was still trying to learn about. Because the last thing he remembered was tugging the throw blanket up her legs over her sleepy protests and thinking that he’d leave in just a minute, and now the sun was streaming down through the open skylight and the bedside clock was blinking 8:23am at him.

And he was Adrien, not Chat.

Cue the panic.

“Plagg?” Adrien called as loudly as he dared, in case Marinette was around. As if she hadn’t probably already seen him! Could Plagg have held on until after Marinette had woken up and gone downstairs? He didn’t hear movement in the room, but what if she was just hiding, traumatized, in the bathroom or something? Because she’d woken up to the wrong man in her bed! “Plagg! This isn’t funny!”

There was a sound of footsteps below, but it was curiously muffled, like it wasn’t in the room. Panicking, Adrien did the only thing he could think of: he yanked the blanket up and flipped the pillow he was laying on up and over his head.

This is my life. He thought hysterically. I’m a twenty-four year old man, hiding under my girlfriend’s blankets with a pillow over my face, desperately hoping her mom won’t catch me. Please just shoot me.

“Is he good?” Marinette’s voice asked softly.

“Yeah, he’s covered.” Plagg’s voice drawled from somewhere close by, before Adrien had a chance to wonder who she was talking to. …Then he got the opportunity to panic because Oh my God, she knows about Plagg? And why was there no screaming? He totally thought there would have been screaming.

“Honestly, I’m not sure whether he’s awake or not.” Plagg continued, as if his chosen wasn’t busy trying not to fly apart in a fit of nerves. “He’s got a pillow over his head, so either he’s hiding from the sunlight or he’s trying to suffocate himself.”

Scowling under the pillow, Adrien raised his middle finger in the direction of Plagg’s voice.

“Let’s go with sleeping.” Marinette sounded amused as he heard her mount the stairs towards the bed. “And if he is, let him sleep. You said that nobody was expecting him today? Good. I mean, wake him up before Alya comes over at two, but otherwise, let him sleep. I’ll be downstairs in the bakery helping out, so no rush.”

She was too good for him, Adrien thought, feeling absurdly grateful that Marinette wasn’t going to try to yank off the pillow and expose him for the cowardly fraud he was. Something heavy made a faint thunk as it was set down near her bed, and Adrien felt a hand touch his leg, trailing gently down the curve of his calf and tracing the dip of his heel before patting his foot fondly and letting go.

Tears pricked the corners of Adrien’s eyes: Marinette really was too good for him. He heard her walk down the stairs, and waited for the trapdoor of her room to close behind her before lifting the pillow to glare at Plagg.

“Did you get enough beauty sleep?” The tiny little troll smirked at him.

“‘Trying to suffocate myself?’” Adrien deadpanned in response.

“Don’t tell me you weren’t thinking about it.” Plagg sniggered. “Either way, your ‘Princess’ left you some coffee - better drink it while it’s still hot.”

Adrien glanced at the bedside table to see that, yes, there was a mug sitting there, next to a small pastry box from the bakery below.

Sighing, Adrien sat up, pulling his legs up to sit comfortably as he pulled the mug and box towards him.

“Just…tell me what the hell happened.” He mumbled into his coffee, dreading the answer.

“Well, contrary to all previous indications, your girlfriend actually has the self control to wake up next to you and not look at you.”

“Are you telling me you did that on purpose?” Adrien huffed, glaring at the coffee.

“Excuse me?” Plagg glared. “Look, Sleeping Beauty, I’m not the one who suited up and hauled himself out of the house at half-past midnight to visit his girlfriend, then fell asleep in it. I’m a god, but I’m not not able to hold the transformation infinitely.”

Adrien sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. Guess I lucked out this time.”

Plagg rolled his eyes. “Or didn’t, depending on your point of view.”

“Because waking up to her screaming would have totally been the better option.” Adrien muttered, picking up the danish and taking a bite. After weeks of extreme calorie-counting and pitiful meals, the fruit pastry was almost too sweet to handle. Still, Adrien forced himself to take another bite before he put it down and resolved to eat the rest later.

The coffee was better: a little bit of cream to mellow the bitterness, but no sugar to make it too sweet for him to handle. Adrien paused, then sipped again. “Did she use actual cream in this?”

“What do you mean?” Plagg asked, drifting closer and snagging a cube of cheese out of the box.

“It’s…rich.” Adrien considered. “Really rich. Like, smooth? Did you see what she put in it?”

“Well, she didn’t use that no-fat, no-taste crap you’re used to.” Plagg said. “It was in a small carton.”

Heavy cream, then. Adrien sipped the coffee, savoring the unusual treat. He couldn’t remember ever getting to sample actual cream.

Still, he finished his coffee and picked at the croissant before deciding his best bet was to write his girlfriend a thank-you note and head out. Risking it, Adrien trotted down the stairs and scrounged around her desk for a spare piece of paper and a pen.

He was just about to sign when a thought occurred to him.

“Plagg?” He glanced up at the kwami floating over his shoulder. “How did she find you?”

“I wasn’t hiding.” Plagg said. “I needed food to recharge, and she got it for me.”

“She didn’t, I don’t know, get upset? Freak out? Why didn’t you just wake me up?” Adrien asked, remembering his own reaction to Plagg’s appearance. If finding a tiny black cat floating in your room demanding food wasn’t a good reason to scream, what was?

“What, could you have gotten me cheese? I didn’t see you shove any in your pajama pants last night.” Plagg snorted. “And don’t worry about your ‘Princess’; she’s not as easily rattled as you think.”

Luckily, it was one of the nights when the gaming club was supposed to meet. Adrien hadn’t seen Nino much over the summer either, so the two had arranged to meet up at the campus coffee shop before heading over to 03B to set up for the ongoing tabletop games.

Not that he would be able to stay too late - there was an assignment he’d put off the past few days that was due soon. And since it was one of the last for the summer semester, Adrien wanted to do well on it. Another fitting for next year’s spring line was scheduled during the day, and there was an online lecture to attend in the morning.

Still, he was grateful for the time with his friend as he swung towards coffee shop, only to pull up short when he saw extra people at the outdoor table.

“Adrien!” Nino glanced up, raising a hand in greeting. Next to him, Alya and Marinette looked up and smiled, Marinette offering a cheery wave. “Go get your drink man, we got here a little early.”

Adrien emerged a few minutes later with his drink (decaf coffee with fat free creamer) and took the extra seat, silently thankful that the table was one of the round cafe-style ones and not the regular rectangle ones. Next to him, Marinette offered him a bright grin.

“Hey, stranger! Long time no see!”

If you only knew. Adrien thought, laughing nervously and trying not to blush. “I know, right? Been a while.”

“You’re looking pretty good, man, guess the Kiwis agreed with you.” Nino added.

“Yeah?” Adrien sipped his coffee, eyebrow raised questioningly.

“Yeah.” Nino nodded. “Last time I saw you, you were looking a little ragged. You’re looking better now. More rested? Whatever, how was New Zealand?”

Adrien grinned and launched into a tale of how a model had greeted a photographer at a party, only to find that not everybody appreciated the French custom of cheek bussing. The man’s wife, least of all. Alya recounted the college shenanigans of her teenage sisters, who were semi-stalking some cute boy in their class as he worked his summer job at an ice cream parlor (“They must have eaten gallons of ice cream, I swear!”). Marinette had made a batch of cupcakes for tonight’s gaming club, and hoped there would be enough. Nino told him of how his grandfather and cousin had come to visit from Morocco, his fingers casually laced with his girlfriend’s under the table as the other waved expressively in the air.

Adrien glanced at Marinette’s hand as she gripped her cup, laughing at something Nino had said, and wished he could reach out and entwine their hands together as casually. To feel her hand under his, or have it casually rest on his thigh as she spoke to friends.

How he envied Nino and his easy romance.

“Adrien?”

Adrien glanced up into Marinette’s bright eyes as she gave him a curious look.

“Yes?” He asked. “Sorry, I zoned out for a second.”

“I was just asking if you’re ready to go?” Marinette gestured to her phone, showing him the time. “Nino and I need to start setting up, if you want to walk with us?”

“Yeah, sure.” Adrien replied, smiling. “I’d like that.”

“Great! Are you done with your coffee, or are you taking it with you?” Marinette asked, gesturing towards his cup as she stood.

“Finished.” Adrien said. “I had a cup earlier, and I need to be able to sleep tonight.”

“Okay then.” Marinette scooped his cup up, taking hers and toting them towards the garbage as Nino and Alya moved off of the patio towards the sidewalk. “Let’s go!”

Adrien blinked in surprise as she reached out, casually encircling his wrist with her fingers and tugged him along. She turned, saying something to him, but all Adrien could see was the afternoon sun glinting off of her hair, and her smile flash as she talked. The gentle pressure of her fingers around his wrist burned like a brand.

Maybe, just maybe, his dream wasn’t so far off, after all.

Reveal Week Day 6: Consensual(ish)

[ao3 link] @miraculous-weeks

When Adrien saw the card with a butterfly embossed on the back, he knew he was screwed. There was only one person he knew of who would think to get that kind of stationary, and he knew he wasn’t going to enjoy the message inside.

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anonymous asked:

35 & Jason Todd please? I love your writing btw ❤️👌🏼

35. “If you make one more stupid pun, I will literally stab you.”

Tension was growing high during your mission, the severity of your situation finally setting in. The fact that you and Jason were both tied up and dangling over a vat of acid helped greatly in both of you realizing you were doomed. With no other obvious option you turned to humor to try and alleviate the stress you two were under. Of course it didn’t occur to you beforehand that your humor might not exactly be the best in such a situation…

“Well, this situation seems…vatty…”

Jason’s head lolled over to look your way and you could practically feel his unamused grin.

You returned it with an innocent smile, “Don’t just leave me… hanging.”

“(Y/N)” Jason warned though the slight laugh he gave was obvious.

Your feet wiggled around as the container started creeping closer, “Good thing we aren’t in a cheese factory or else there’d be de-brie everywhere after we blow up.”

“(Y/N), I swear to God..”

“The chemist who made this acid is going to have a good time barium us.”

In your babbling haze you didn’t realize Jason finally cut himself free and pulled your still tied body over to the platform he was now on.

As he cut your ropes he glared at you through his helmet, “If you make one more stupid pun, I will literally stab you.”

You grinned and ran alongside him to work your way out of the factory, “As opposed to figuratively stabbing me?”

With a groan Jason rolled his hidden eyes, “You’re ridiculous.”

Drabble Prompts are closed.

anonymous asked:

now i just imagine in their younger templar years cullen talking about how much he likes bree and samson gifting him a block of cheese...

THIS ACTUALLY MADE ME LAUGH HOLY SHIT. 

I don’t think Cullen would have spoken—consciously, anyway—a word about the whole… ordeal and his crush on Amell and whatnot, but this was too much fun NOT to imagine.  Like can you see Samson being like ‘Cullen just shouts about cheese in his sleep I’ve never roomed with a man who had recurring dreams about cheese but ok I’ll roll with it poor kid’ and then gives Cullen a wheel of brie and OH MY GOD WHAT IF CULLEN THOUGHT SAMSON WAS TEASING HIM???  SHIT.  AND THEN YEARS DOWN THE LINE…

blanket-fictions  asked:

write me FIC with sakura and sasuke "vibin'"

“I think I love you.”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Sakura, scraping a chunk of brie out of wheel of cheese and onto his cracker. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Sakura took a sip of her wine. She took another sip and then a gulp and after a moment of pause, finished her glass. Grinning, she pointed it Sasuke’s way and he refilled it without question. “I like this. Eating cheese, drinking wine, listening to music. With you. It’s nice. You’re nice.”

“I’m not nice.”

“Pleasant, then.”

“Not pleasant either.”

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spikytyphoon  asked:

For the ask thing: 21, 24, 31 and 50

21) If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

oh my god. I’d be a b/rown boy, OH NO! Anyway I hope I can at least be one of the attractive charming b/rown boys and not one of the creepy ones. :’))))) I can’t imagine what I’d do though, I really would not want to be a b/rown boy. 😩😩😩

24) You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Brie cheese sandwiches are the BEST. Brie cheese is the ultimate cheese, the PINNACLE OF CHEESE. THE BEST CHEESE FOR CHEESE SANDWICHES. IT’S NOT DEBATABLE

31) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

😏 i wonder what kind of person i would be without daddy issues 😏

50) What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

The very day that @capthawkeye and I first started talking, we had a discussion about hentai. A full discussion. 😳

Thank you for the asks!! :D

send me a number!

I’m cheese-crazy. It’s my big dairy weakness. Manchego! I love feta! I love goat cheese! I love mature chedda! I also love Wensleydale, I have no idea how you spell Wensleydale, especially with cranberries in it, it’s the perfect cheese for Christmas. The only thing I can’t do is blue. I can’t do blue cheese. It just doesn’t work with me. It’s not even so much the smell, I just can’t do it, you know? Maybe as a bit of a salad, but… hahaha. I mean, very rare circumstances! Brie, I love brie, melted brie. Burrata! God I love a Burrata. I literally could talk about cheese for 10 minutes.
—  Natalie Dormer when asked “Whats your favorite kind of cheese? [x]

clarz  asked:

Drarry

just letting you know now that i might end up taking this in a pretty cracky direction. crack direction, featuring hannah, banana, hgc, and me. (there used to be a fifth member but we don’t talk about her.)

How they got together: okay OKAY so they both go back to hogwarts for year eight, and you know, not everyone is completely cool with draco, considering, so draco spends most of his time alone. he’s not often around during meal times, turns up late to class, never goes to quidditch matches or hogsmeade. and harry the chosen one the saviour of the wizarding world potter is kind and understanding and benevole- hah fuck that he’s freaking suspicious as all hell because it’s malfoy and the last time malfoy started acting a bit dodge he was trying to assassinate someone. so harry does the usual, by which i mean he becomes paranoid and obsessive and ends up flat out stalking malfoy because what else has he got to do RON the dark lord is dead who else is he supposed to have a big epic duel with at the end of the school year? anyway, the stalking culminates in harry following draco out into the forbidden forest at sunset one evening and this is it harry is about to uncover malfoy’s nefarious plot except that it kind of turns out that malfoy’s feeding the thestrals and um it looks like they kind of adore him and all the little baby ones flock to him and start nipping at his fingers and malfoy is kind of actually really gentle and also yeah he’s pretty competent and oh boy this could be a problem. and draco turns around and just raises an eyebrow at where harry has not at all subtly hidden himself behind a tree and drawls, “what, potter, do you want to creep on me having a wank too?” and harry turns bright red but doesn’t say no and that is the story of how harry and draco scarred the hogwarts thestral population for life. 

First date: does the aforementioned sunset romp in the forest count? no? well then harry organises a midnight picnic on top of the astronomy tower and draco just about falls over the parapet he’s laughing so hard because harry potter just brought him to what is essentially make-out point and the silly git thought he was being romantic

Who’s more romantic: harry tries really really hard but he usually bungles it somehow and bloody malfoy’s just so fucking smooth all the damn time how is he supposed to compete?

Who cooks: harry. harry cooks because malfoy was a spoiled brat who had house elves cook for him while harry was a (not at all) glorified butler so harry actually knows how to cook whereas malfoy once set an apricot on fire.

Who shops for groceries: draco shops for groceries, because while he may have changed a lot after the war, he’ll forever be a pretentious snob when it comes to cheese and “merlin, harry, can you really not tell the difference between camembert and triple cream brie?” “your face is a triple cream brie” harry mutters, stalking away to go find some marmite to terrorise his boyfriend with.

Who is more messy: harry. god, have you seen his hair?

Who hogs the TV: draco absolutely hogs the tv because this is a wondrous contraption and he can vote people off an island, harry. 

Favourite thing to do together: it’s actually horrendously vomit inducing but they just like to sit on the couch and be together and as much as draco pretends to hate it he will always inevitably end up with his head in harry’s lap and harry’s fingers running through his hair. (who am i even kidding, they like to sex each other’s brains out.)

Who gets more jealous: they both get pretty jealous over each other. because, yeah, okay, harry’s the bloody wunderkind but does everybody really have to touch him so much. and harry finally has somebody he can call his own, somebody who is just his, and nobody is trying to kill them or anything, and he’s holding onto this with both hands even if it means glaring at random baristas who dust chocolate hearts onto his boyfriend’s coffees. 

Who steals the other’s clothes: “jesus fucking christ on a cracker, draco, are these actual silk underpants? i can’t believe how much of a ponce you are, you are honestly completely ridiculous, these pants are- oh. these pants are nice.”

Blessed

Ocean and I have been going out together a lot more, trying to pick up where we left off. We always got along so well and it was a bit of an awkward falling out. I have a little more time available since Versace extended his family visit and I am slowing down with school.

Something I really admire about Ocean is his young heart. Yesterday he picked me up in his car, he told me I have to cancel all my plans (although the only plans I had were to lay on my couch, eat Ben & Jerrys and watch Netflix) and that we were going to have a day of spontaneous fun. We drove to the beach, went out on his boat, visited his friends new restaurant and got a secluded nook to ourselves for a late lunch. We went and looked at cars, as I am planning on selling my current vehicle for something newer. Later in the evening he took me to a private wine tasting - MY GOD, was the cheese ever good. Oven baked brie cheese with apricot jelly, fresh pesto on a slice of Italian bread, MMM. The wine was alright too.

I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life. My birthday is coming up in May and he said he has an early birthday surprise for me, for all that I do. I literally feel guilty because I already receive such a lucrative, generous amount of money from him and I couldn’t ask for anything else. 

I have been receiving a lot of questions regarding how I achieve my allowance and I seriously think it comes down to having a genuine heart and actually caring about your SD. I know we all joke about things like “If you don’t have money, I’m not into you” okay.. maybe we’re not really joking BUT a SD is still a person with feelings not just a human bank machine. If you invest time and effort in getting to know your sugar daddy and do little things that make them feel special, I truly believe you will be rewarded more often. This is just from my experience. This is also why I constantly stress to find a SD you can tolerate because you won’t be able to force feelings for somebody you cannot stand. You feel me?

XOXO

TIBERIUS, PART XVI

okay so this scene is RIDICULOUSLY LONG, so i’ve cut it into two parts because i’m a monster (hey theappleppielifestyle lookie lookie)

previously on tiberius

inspired by pixieknight10805’s post here

No warnings.

Rome is perfect.


They run around like kids, Tony breaking out his Italian to purr dirty things in Tiberius’ ear until he drags him back to the villa, then they spend nearly ten hours straight in bed. And if Ty comes back the next afternoon with lipstick on his collar, Tony pushes it out of his head.


When they come back two days later, Tony is loose and happy, a grin breaking across his face every time Ty catches his eye. He feels more relaxed than he has in weeks and he’s still got Thursday night to look forward to. On Wednesday, he charms his way through a couple of interviews about the new product launch and does the walk-through with Pepper, which goes surprisingly well.


The lion’s share of Thursday passes in a blur in R&D, which he’s grateful for at six when the team starts packing up and heading out, because now that he’s got a second to breathe and remember he’s got plans, his nerves surge to life. Then he looks at the clock and realizes what time it is and that Steve will be here in less than a half an hour. “Great work, guys, drive safe, kiss your families, we’ll fix the timing circuit tomorrow!” he yells, bolting for the elevator.

Keep reading

Manchego! I love feta! I love goat cheese! I love mature chedda! I also love Wensleydale, I have no idea how you spell Wensleydale, especially with cranberries in it, it’s the perfect cheese for Christmas. The only thing i can’t do is blue. I can’t do blue cheese. It just doesn’t work with me. It’s not even so much the smell, I just can’t do it, you know? Maybe as a bit of a salad, but… hahaha. I mean, very rare circumstances! Brie, I love brie, melted brie. Burrata! God I love a Burrata.
I literally could talk about cheese for 10 minutes.
You found my achilles heel, reddit!
—  Natalie Dormer when asked about her favourite cheese…(x)