That Rattmann den with the radio playing “Exile Vilify”
The Announcer’s dialogue when he’s monitoring your tests
Literally everything Doug Rattmann
Panels. Just… panels. The way they morph in and out, the way they go absolutely berserk while GLaDOS is trying to put the facility back together… PANELS, MAN.
That part where Wheatley’s waiting for you by the ceiling when you jump on that faith plate and he yells “hey, hey, it’s me! I’m okay!” and he sounds so gosh darn happy, and ugghh, WHEATLEY, who gave you the right to be so adorable, you jerk?
That dense, slooshing liquid noise that happens when you try and shoot a portal on a surface where you can’t
EVERYTHING HAS A LEITMOTIF. Lasers have a leitmotif! Funnels have a leitmotif! Hard light bridges have a leitmotif! Rat dens have a leitmotif!
The vitrified doors that show how completely off-their-rocker Old Aperture was. Your blood will be replaced with peanut water? WHY
That one Rattmann den with thE DOOR THAT CLOSES BEHIND YOU?
For anyone who doesn’t know, Bilbo is the rattie in my icon. He’s a 3.5 year old dumbo rat and he’s doing very poorly. A week or two ago the vet diagnosed him with a pituitary tumor. They are always fatal and generally come with a a lot of unpleasant side effects. His caused a stroke that left him unable to walk properly. He couldn’t hold food anymore. That was about two and a half weeks ago and thinggns have gone down hill fast. My poor baby is still alive but only barely. He can barely eat (I’m now feeding him with a syringe because he can no longer hold his head up), he can’t walk or move much, and you can feel his bones he’s lost so much weight. All he can do is lay and keep warm, and swallow a little food and water. I’ve been cuddling with him on and off, giving him water and food (which is banana baby food at this point because bananas are his favorite but he can’t chew anymore) and medicine, helping him keep clean (which he can’t do on his own anymore)….whatever I can do for him. The vet doesn’t have the necessary things in stock to humanely put him to sleep and they likely won’t come in before he dies of natural causes (or so the vet believes). So now it’s a waiting game.
He’s currently tucked in his favorite hammock (which he will be buried in) with a warm blanket and a warmed rice heating pad in a pocket in the hammock (or, rather, I stuffed it in the pocket that was created when the brats pulled out the stuffing) because he barely has any fat on him and it’s cold where I am. He’s as comfortable as I can make him and I’m doing my best to make his final days (however many that might be) as comfortable and loving as I possibly can.
I know it might seem silly but if any of you can please keep him in your thoughts (or prayers) I would appreciate it because he’s a brave little fighter and he deserves to pass over the rainbow bridge as gently as possible knowing he (like all pets should be) is very much loved.
i don’t care
how people will
like the poems i wrote
new york city
i don’t care i haven’t found
a good egg sandwich
having to trudge retired legs
two miles for coffee
it all seems sentimental
to me anyway
i crossed a bridge above and underwater
rats wore bigger spectacles
than the buildings and avenues
even all the pretty fish
falling over couldn’t
continue any clever thoughts
beyond pointing here
and pointing there
The last of “the children” passed away tonight. Tara and her sisters were the best little group of ratties I’ve ever had and they’ve been a big part of my life for the last 2 and a half years. They helped build the friendship between my two best friends and me freshman year. I remember sneaking them into my dorm room in our sweatshirts, hiding the cage from the RA, and calling them “our kids.” Tara, you were the “evil mastermind,” always getting into trouble. I remember one time in my dorm room I was studying when all of a sudden I heard screaming coming from the bathroom. I run in there, and there you were running around, terrorizing all the girls! You had somehow escaped (like you always did) and managed to wander into the bathroom. In your older days, you were the biggest snuggler. You would sit on my lap and brux during late study nights. And you’re probably one of the few rats that has ever lived in the same cage as a ferret for several months. You were our sweet girl, and you will be missed. Now go play with your sisters. I’m sure they’ll be glad to see you again. “The children” are together again. Rest in peace, Tara.
My last video of Briar, he’s literally the happiest rat. Unfortunately this was taken an hour before I brought him in to the vets to be put to sleep… I’m glad I did it though, I’m slowly coming to turns with losing him but it was for the best, he had been refusing to eat or drink, syringe feeding him only made Briar upset and I didn’t want that for him. He refused his favorites including yogies, yogurt and chocolate almonds. I made the appointment that morning to bring him in that afternoon, they let me hold him and be with him every step of the way including the injection. Tears were rolling down my face but I didn’t make a noise I stroked my baby boy every second showing him I was there for him. The only time I wasn’t holding him was when he checked for a pulse, the vet told he’s slowing down and gave Briar back to me as I cuddled my baby one last time. Then he was gone. I’m bringing him in to get cremated tomorrow morning so I can have his ashes in a special shelf on my wall with my first dog who was special to me as well. I still cry, feel numb, and get a lump in my throat as I think about Briar or go near the rats cage. I love him more than most people and value his life over most people as well. Briar was my sunshine, my baby, my boo, my heart, my love, my very best friend, and a family member
I will never forget you and you will never leave my heart, in a couple of weeks I’ll be getting my tattoo of his paw prints. rest in a peaceful paradise my heart, we will see eachother again one day