brides stories

Okay guys but a remake of The Princess Bride where the frame story is a sick little girl home from school, playing like Breath of the Wild when her grandmother comes in to read her a book. And she starts reading aloud, and the fantasy part starts and it’s footage from the original film that plays for 30 seconds, before the little girl interrupts to be like “is this a story where a bunch of guys save a girl?” in this really annoyed voice

And the grandmother is like “……nooo, let me start again, I misread,” and the fantasy starts again, except this time Wesley is a farm girl and Buttercup is the haughty boy who doesn’t realize he loves her, and Inigo Montoya is a woman, and so is Fezzik and Vizzini, and Humperdinck and Miracle Max, they’re all women, and the only men in the story are the ones playing the roles that were originally female (so: Buttercup, Max’s wife, old lady who boos in nightmare sequence, I literally think that’s it?)

(I thought about lesbian Princess Bride because of course, but then I thought what if you kept the script almost exactly the same, and when reviews complain that the men were boring, we can be like THE ROLES WERE ALWAYS BORING IT JUST WASNT NOTICEABLE BECAUSE THAT’S HOW YOU WRITE WOMEN)

(Lesbian Princess Bride tho, that’s giving me a lot to think about)

And there’s nothing gritty about the remake, the swordplay is as acrobatic as it is unrealistic, the quips are just as light, the colors just as bright, the characters just as ridiculous, and the rodents of unusual size are still giant puppets except women, everywhere women, women women women of all kinds, and it wins a billion oscars

Thoughts for Another Bride

You told me you loved my hair. I hadn’t had time to put it up yet, so I was standing in pre-op with my hair falling to my waist (8 months of residency and no time to get it cut). You pulled your cap off to show me yours was gone now.

You touched my ring and showed me yours. You told me the proposal had come before the diagnosis. Everything was on hold for you now, waiting for the end of the chemo and the surgeries. I thought about the unfinished pile of invitations on my coffee table, the dress hung in the closet at my parent’s house.

The man who loved you is like the man who loves me – tall but not too tall, broad shouldered, with a big, easy smile.

Then it was all blue paper drapes and silver instruments and I knew I wouldn’t get a chance to tell you all the things I should have said. The words maybe I could have given you - if any of them would have mattered.

So instead, I gave you what I could, I closed slowly; tiny stitches to make the scar as small and perfect as I could, so maybe it wouldn’t show if you wanted to wear a strapless dress. I squeezed your hand as they woke you up.

I think about you here in blue scrubs and I’ll think about you again when I’m wearing white. I’ll forget you in a hospital gown, and think of a wedding gown instead.

Brand New

🌟old movies renamed🌟
  • <b> rear window: the boy who cried murder<p/><b>an american in paris:</b> i guess we should add some singing to all of these dance numbers<p/><b>the philadelphia story:</b> i want you back, i want you back🎵<p/><b>how to steal a million:</b> gullibility and sarcasm fall in love and steal a dinky statue<p/><b>cabaret:</b> drag and scandalous dances in WWII<p/><b>the sound of music:</b> where a kid can be a kid (and fucking sing like a normal child)<p/><b>bringing up baby:</b> can we keep him? please?<p/><b>seven brides for seven brothers:</b> abduction cause its romantic<p/><b>singing in the rain:</b> good morning🍊🎵there are 16 oranges in every tropicana pure premiu-<p/><b>it's a wonderful life:</b> a cute old man fixes jimmy stewart's many problems<p/><b>the shop around the corner:</b> we're better staying pen pals than actually dating<p/><b>breakfast at tiffany's:</b> she's lowkey a psycho but it's all about love and cats anyway<p/><b>roman holiday:</b> tomboy princess takes a day off and then has to face reality again<p/><b>star!:</b> gertie get your shit together<p/><b>my fair lady:</b> men are snobs and the english have a social system based on speech<p/><b>sabrina:</b> you got hurt and couldn't go on dates with me so i dated your brother instead<p/><b>thoroughly modern millie:</b> everyone is extra and there are white people who play asian people and horrible sex trafficking but it's okay because carol channing<p/><b>west side story:</b> why the fuck do you love him after he literally murdered your brother oh well he died so who cares anyway<p/><b>harvey:</b> polite and innocent man is a bit loopy so everyone tries to lock him up<p/><b>gone with the wind:</b> you don't love me?!?! but you gotta, i guess i'll marry all of the south to make you jealous<p/><b>casablanca:</b> paris and kids being looked at<p/><b>the african queen:</b> oh we almost died but we didn't so let's kiss and build a torpedo from scratch<p/><b>on golden pond:</b> where everyone won best actor/actress and 74 year old katharine hepburn did her own fucking stunts<p/><b>annie get your gun:</b> frank butler is a fucking selfish wienie<p/><b>lawrence of arabia:</b> nice, noble man goes crazy over the course of 4 hours<p/><b>the wizard of oz:</b> everything magical and good in the world is a hoax, kids<p/><b>cinderella:</b> cinderelly, cinderelly, we're woodland creatures providing comical pastime<p/><b>snow white:</b> practice makes perfect, disney, because this movie was on drugs<p/><b>sleeping beauty:</b> let's take a story about rape and make it for kids but then add unrealistic body types<p/><b>gold finger:</b> look it's the german villain from chitty chitty bang bang in a bond movie<p/><b>chitty chitty bang bang:</b> this movie was also on drugs but it's still great<p/><b>funny face:</b> audrey and fred in france<p/><b>🌟i love all these movies so much so don't get your panties in a wad it's a joke:</b> <p/></p>
I like to think music can save the world because you know it’s fucking saved me
—  Jacoby shaddix

anonymous asked:

I wanna start watching ancient magnum bride but what te heck is it about??????


The OVAs we have so far (two parts out of four three) are a companion story to the manga and don’t really follow the main plot (there may be a full anime series coming this fall though?? Unsure). 

The manga is about Chise, a gal with some special abilities bought by this fella Elias, a non-human magus/mage, who intends to teach Chise magic, keep her alive (people with her abilities tend to burn out and die young!), and eventually make her his bride.

This mighty be throwing up all kinds of Wow Unhealthy red flags for you. But the writing is handled fantastically and this odd situation that could have easily turned into one of your standard Weird Gross Anime IPs is instead something super cool and awesome. First off, Elias not being human and not understanding how humans work is a HUGE part of his character and development. Secondly, all Elias’ human pals are immediately like Elias What The Fuck You Can’t Buy People Because We Said You Need An Apprentice Chise Here Is My Number If You Need Help Don’t Hesitate To Call. And thirdly, Chise seems cool with all of this and agrees to teach Elias How To Human better while he teaches her magic and the whole bride thing is like almost never mentioned again.

Over time, the manga delves into things like “Why the fuck does Chise seem cool with this?”, “Chise why are you doing that stop?”, “Both of y’all have an unhealthy attachment to each other please get out of the house sometimes”, “Elias why are you acting like a pouting baby?”, “Elias, no you can’t control everything all the time.”, “By the way, what the fuck are you?” Also this one dude is trying to fuck everything up and there’s all these other ppl who want Chise for shit.

In short (lil too late for short lol), its about two emotionally stunted, lost, and confused people living on the outskirts of their respective societies, slowly realizing things about themselves and working past their flaws and figuring themselves out. And as they grow as people, they grow together as closer companions. Though framed as a romance, that’s really not the focus of it. The focus is more about them becoming healthy and good people. The growth feels natural and appropriate, and I love that. 

Also LOTS OF COOL MYTHOLOGY SHIT HELL YEAH. YAMAZAKI KORE DID HER DAMNED RESEARCH OK. If NONE of what i just said grabs you then you could read for the mythological shit alone. It’s great. 
I think that’s it. Other fans feel free to add to this,,,

You can read it here (which has a nice description itself)
And the OVA bits are on crunchyroll


Hope you check it out! 

A Bride’s Story /  Otoyomegatari (2008 -)
Kaoru Mori

1. Is she a main character? YES.

2. Does this character fall in love with a white man? NO.

3. Does this character end up raped or murdered at any point during the story? NO / NO (SUBJECT TO CHANGE, MANGA CURRENTLY INCOMPLETE)

Amir Halgal from Otoyomegatari passes The Aila Test