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Planning Advice for Brides: The Understated Art of Delegating Wedding Tasks

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Photos by Daynell

There is no “I” in wedding…or wait, there is no “I” in team and there really shouldn’t be one in wedding either! In the past few weeks, I jumped on the crazy roller coaster of emotions known as the “Countdown ’til Your Wedding” Ride (cue the shrieks, swears and the occasional “wheeee”). Although I’m a social creature, I have mainly been tucked inside since January 1st doing wedding research until my eyes have dried up from the unforgiving glow of the computer. Luckily, I’ve spent time with 3 of my lovely bridal party lasses in the past week and heard a similar echo from them all: When can we help, what can we do? My best male friend even offered to make me chocolate covered strawberries. How did I say no to that?

The main question is: why haven’t I asked for help? Either:

A: I don’t want to burden other people’s lives with tasks that are not their responsibilities, OR

B: My over controlling work horse personality has emerged and is preventing me from asking for help.

Well maybe it’s a bit of both for all brides. Since the resounding scream from my inner circle was finally being heard, I poked around the internet to figure out a game plan (just in time for the super bowl) for my best ladies and gents.

5 Ideas for Successful Delegation

1. Recruit your Talent

Ok, you may already have your all star bridal line up ready to do your bidding, but who else in your circle has some skills they may wanna flex? For example, I initially forgot my gorgeous sister in law is the master of crafts. One click of an emailed bunting pic and now I have her Canadian Etsy-esque self pumping out projects. Examine your guest list for those hidden gems who may want to support you and actually enjoy the process.

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2. Legwork Support

RIGHT NOW-Step away from the computer, unless you are typing an email asking for help, and rest those eyes. One of your family/friends may be a Google expert who can help sift through the best hair and make up artist reviews or florists to cut down your search time. Friends may even have previous knowledge or wedding goodies you can tap into. Both of my previously married friends had vendor advice and my 7 months pregnant bridesmaid even dragged out borrow-able items from her wedding stash for me.

3. All Hands on Deck

Are you DIY-ing anything? Even if you aren’t, what about those daunting invitation envelopes that need to be addressed. I finally have a DIY par-tay in the works and yes, I did ask for those choco strawberries to make an appearance. Provide your friends with some snacks, dranky dranks, and your team will be more than eager to take up calligraphy as a new talent. Just make sure they aren’t too many sheets to the wind or you could end up with some failed Pinterest results.

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Hindsight Bride

4. What’s Your Vision?

Make sure you give people pics, directions and a clear cut idea of what you want or you can’t get salty when your bouquet is more dollar store shabby than vintage chic. You are responsible for providing the goods and guidance, while they help with the services. On a positive note, in my experience as a bridesmaid, I always wanted to help more and was just waiting for directions.

5. Practice Gratitude

Ultimately, you are the one who needs assistance so make sure you show appreciation at all times. Yes, you will provide an awesome gift to those who help you but don’t forget small thank yous, a free coffee, a hug, a wedding shout out or kind words can be even better than fancy material things.

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These ladies don’t even know they are going to be my Despicable Me-style minions soon.

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About Kate: Kate is a recently engaged gal living in Chicago. Her fiancé, Raja, is her blogging coach, fellow Netflixia sufferer (Walking Dead!) and adventure twin. Tune in every other week to hear about her personal wedding planning experiences and advice! You can follow her on Twitter, or read more on her and her best friend’s blog, Chi Organic Girls.

Dear Brides...

Dear Brides,

After you get engaged, when do you decide it is time to look for the dress? Do you and your best friend grab the yellow pages, call every bridal salon/store within a 50 mile radius and book appointments or do you let your engagement set in for a couple of weeks? Do you coordinate schedules with your entourage or do you wait to shop with your mom?

I know that all brides are different but the one thing that they all have in common is, they need a dress.

(In my last “Dear Brides” post I shared my frustrations about working with non-engaged brides during bridal appointments. I think this next topic is the perfect follow-up.)

And since you need a dress you come to visit me or another bridal salon. Once you have arrived and started your bridal appointment please remind yourself why you are there in the first place. Okay, let me remind you…you are there to find the dress. Am I wrong?….. (long pause)….. I didn’t think so.

As I stated earlier all brides begin their bridal gown search at different points of the entire wedding process, but please….please explain to me why you start looking for your bridal gown when you wedding is planned for the year 2014?!?! WHY?! To be honest as soon as you tell me your wedding date is to be determined three years from now, I immediately determine that this is not a serious bridal appointment. So what do I do in this situation?? I put on my fake smile and do my job.

During a bridal appointment I have one goal, to help you find a wedding gown that you love or at least help you identify what kind of wedding gown you want. 50% of the time, I can’t reach this very obtainable goal because brides forget the main reason why they scheduled an appointment in the first place! When brides find the perfect gown and they can’t “say yes” or commit because their wedding is after all in 2014, and still have 3 more years to look for dresses I have one thing to say to them…”WHY ARE YOU HERE??”

Again, what was the point of scheduling all the bridal appointments so early? Quite frankly, you are only doing yourself a disservice (besides wasting my time and yours). When you find a gown you love, you need to be done. That’s your dress. You never know when a gown’s designer will discontinue the dress style and then you will never be able to order the gown you loved. And mark my words, when that happens you will compare every gown to the one you found before and unfortunately nothing will compare.

My best advice is to slow down, enjoy your engagement and then visit a bridal salon when you are really ready to find your dress.