Les Mis jokes that will never not be funny to me
  • anything about the Parisian Sewer System Chapters™
  • Calling the book “The Brick”
  • “Valjean is 24601% done”
  • Any speculation on Les Amis’s first names
  • especially “tHEY WERE ALL NAMED JEAN”
  • Threatening to fight Victor Hugo’s ghost (usu. over Les Amis’s first names)
  • LES AMIS AS *insert something bizarre like garden gnomes*
  • Calling Victor Hugo “Vicky H”, “kink-shame deserving Vicky,” etc
  • That Les Miserables/Bee Movie crossover fanfic called Les Beeserables starring Barry B. Jolras 
  • bread memes
  • “Grantaire is canonically ugly” haha sure yeah right
  • “We never learn Javert’s first name”  “Yeah we do it’s Inspector”
  • EnjolrasXPatria fanfic 
  • Any post along the lines of “You idiots have forgotten Les Amis aren’t the main characters of Les Mis. The REAL main character is the Parisian Sewer System”

    Feel free to add more

Some Enjolras headcanons:

-He cannot stand coffee. He drinks way, way too much of it but thinks it’s disgusting. Usually puts like half a cup of sugar in it.

-Clothing disaster. Owns four copies of the same outfit. Buys t-shirts in packs whenever he needs new ones. The only variation is when he gets gifts from his friends, which he then wears constantly no matter how aweful. No concept of an ironic gift.

-Never sleeps. He has not slept a full 8 hours in so long. Ends up falling asleep in weird places (floors, tables, Jehan).

-Literally attracts dirt? He cannot go anywhere without getting his clothes/general person dirty. All of the jokes have been made. Protests are even worse, he somehow ends up with blood on his clothes at even the most peaceful ones.

-Cold all the time.

-Has a lot? Of feelings? That he is not very good at expressing like a normal human? He gets very intense about things like apologies and gratitude and pep talks. Stares directly into your eyes without blinking, while reciting a passionate speech that sounds like he practiced it. He did.

-When he gives his friends cards for their birthdays he writes extremely heart felt messages all over them that have been known to make people cry. Combeferre has one framed.

-Hugs that are uncomfortably long and tight.

-Usually acts like such a statue that everyone but Courfeyrac and Combeferre are always blindsided when he does something disgustingly sweet and sappy.

-Attends every poetry reading, sports game, and recital that his friends have.

-Constantly gets into fights? Even though he’s a twig that literally anyone could snap in half? Another reason for the bloody clothes.

-Actually one of the youngest of Les Amis! He’s a grade ahead in school, so he went to university not long after his seventeenth birthday.

-Doesn’t make friends very easily. When each new person joined Les Amis he wouldn’t talk directly to them for weeks. Then one day he just sits down and does the uncomfortable eye contact thing and delivers a speech about social change and a better tomorrow and how much their help means to the group. It is the official Enjolras initiation.

-This is because he has no social skills.

-Has never given Grantaire the official welcoming rant. Probably never will.

What I’m getting at here is that the Chief is a living disaster hiding behind a thin vineer of perfect hair and rage.

-Grantaire is the only one who has never noticed what a complete mess Enj is.

Soulmate au

Think about soulmate au where you have your soulmate’s last words tattooed somewhere on your body but
Thosa are words from another life. Earlier. Before you. Because body can, and will be, destroyed, your soul is infinite creature, the only thing that change is vessel of it.
So. Back to the last words, on your body are the last words of your soulmate before they died years ago. Before your reincarnation in new body.

So now think about that last scene in The Brick. Where Enjolras only smiled. Because he couldn’t find words. Becaude he know he wont be alone.
On Enjolras forearm, in messy, kinda-drunk-way, is “do you permit it?”

Grantaire doesn’t have words on his body. And he thought that he was, is, and will be, alone. Because who wanted to have someone like him.

No idea, let me know what you think about it, im in work, I need something to do beside thinking about numbers

  • Brick!Enjolras: quite calm and collected, introverted, intelligent and eloquent. Cries when he kills a soldier.
  • Fanon!Enjolras: throws tantrums when people disagree with him, angry, goes into long rants all the time, kicks cats and stabs grantaire in the face as a greeting

treflev  asked:

I beg of you, give us the Hugolras proves

Every description of Enjolras in the brick is a proof of Hugolras. These are some examples I’ve found in a quick search:

He was angelically handsome. (…) That page’s mien, those long, golden lashes, those blue eyes, that hair billowing in the wind, those rosy cheeks, those fresh lips, those exquisite teeth (…)

His beauty, at that moment augmented by his pride, was resplendent.

And there are more, plus a lot of mentions of how charming he is whatever he’s doing and how awesome his hair is and so on.

You can argue that Enjolras was actually that hot and that the narrator is just an objective entity that accurately describes the reality, and in any other book I could accept that, but in Les misérables the narrator is Victor Hugo and he’s far from being objective. He gives his opinions about everything (politics, economy, religion) throughout the book. And if you still have doubts the narrator is Hugo, he even inserts himself in the story at the beginning of the Waterloo book. He may use the third person, but he talks about himself for a whole chapter! 

So yes, basically every time you read something about Enjolras outside a dialogue in the brick, it’s Victor Hugo fanboying about him.

Now, assuming your ask was prompted by my tags to this post, let me explain you what that can imply for the Enjolras/Grantaire ship.

Keep reading

Enjolcat has had a weird transformation in the last month?

I think he’s had his final ‘adult cat!’ Growth spurt because he went from dainty and slender to like. Really lean and muscular and big. He struts around now. He’s all manly and dashing.

He went from brick Enjolras to Tveit Enjolras in like 4 weeks.

I miss my twinky cat :( but I must say he’s very handsome now.